No Response

April 2017

Snuggle that I think is a good mindset. Because one might think if other person doesn't look at profile they might have missed message or whatever. And we don't want to send another message bugging them

I_am_Polylover · April 2017

"Is there a way to politely turn down someone without simply not responding?" I personally think that it would be polite to just say that 'I've decided I'd really rather not cuddle with you'. That would be a lot better than no response. If I got that response, I'd probably ask why, just to satisfy my curiosity, but I wouldn't insist on getting an answer. More polite would be to give a reason why to begin with. Perhaps something along the lines of, 'You are probably a pretty cool person, but something I can't really put my finger on tells me that I shouldn't cuddle with you. I always go with my instincts/hunches, so I am going to pass.'
♥Jim

April 2017

That could potentially anger the client though ^^ Not everyone is polite like you Poly.

greenearth2 · April 2017

I mean college application rejection letters are as polite as they can be but they still sting....
I don't really see a good way to reject someone...

Mailleweaver · April 2017

If someone was to decline cuddling with me, I'd very much want to know why. Telling me why I'm being turned down is much less hurtful than just saying, "no, I'll pass. Sorry," since it gives me a working point for improving myself.

April 2017

The professional cuddling contract pretty much states that the cuddler must be accepting of different diversities. She can't discriminate. I suspect that there are professionals out there that choose to ignore because of prejudices. The new LA professional that I messaged just viewed my profile without responding to my message. If that's how she's going to be with different potential clients then I don't think that she will be very successful on here. If she's a non professional then by all means she can feel free to ignore.

rollypolly · April 2017

@CuddleBandit In case of your profile there doesn't seem to be much to discriminate against. Maybe she hates coffee.

April 2017

I think a lot of the people here posting in the forums are invested in this community. What they may not understand, and what I'm learning from a lot of other professional cuddlers as we have our own conversations and get to know each other, is that there is so much sexual undertone in conversation and emails we receive it is unreal! Sometimes people aren't even trying to hide it and they ask immediately what extras we provide. Sometimes this happens on the site, sometimes it happens in a conversation on the phone as we are getting to know a client better, or after solidifying a booking. Or in person during a cuddle (which is most alarming and can be a compromise to our safety) and happens much more often then you may expect.

I don't feel a need to answer those types of inquiries. Or sometimes people can be awfully demanding, asking for an appointment that same afternoon which shows they have not read my profile…it is very extensive spelling out exactly what I offer. And what I don't.

I do answer all polite/genuine inquiries. Sometimes right away, sometimes several days later. I am a mom and a midwife. Life gets busy, my kids have an attentive mom, and babies are born at the most unexpected hours. I can't be on the site 24/7. But I do respond when I'm able.

hugs to everyone

April 2017

Do you deliver babies? (: Fire

April 2017

The mom does all the work and she delivers her own baby, I just help.

April 2017

Nice

funandadventure · April 2017

@FireAndBlue Dear Fire and all NEW MEMBERS and VISITORS. As you can see from the above there is still too much Sexualising the cuddle industry, as for not responding. I have read so many profiles and that make no sense, In one breath they say they are here for health and the next it is about there wants, how a companion should dress, age preferences.
THIS IS NOT A DATING WEB SITE IT IS A HEALTH AND TOUCH THERAPY WEB SITE.
A paid companion therapist should expect the respect all therapist's get.
As for not responding the site has rules but I can see it from both sides, if you feel you have been ignored by a companion complain to @mark, he can see all of the correspondence between the companion and clients and all of the correspondence you have sent, how you have worded it, response you got.
It will take some time to respond because of the number but it will be done.
Please,Please,Please THIS IS NOT A DATING WEB SITE.
Some of you will have noted ( new members) I personally look at a lot of new profiles.
Why do I look at so many profiles, Men and Women, to see what you have written and how you have said it.
This helps to keep the site as safe and clean as possible.
Love and Peace John Auckland NEW ZEALAND.

pmvines · April 2017

Part of the sexualizing in cuddling is due to the fact that it CAN be, and I emphasize can because I don't want to imply all the time, a very sensual, personal, intimate experience. I mean there is obviously a difference between leaning on each other on a sofa and laying in bed hugging someone really tight and close while rubbing their arms and back in your sleep shorts. Even if the context is platonic only it can be a bit blurry at times if you aren't emotionally and physically in check, and mature about things. I even have someone in my area who I nude cuddle with (her choice ), and it is always platonic and never goes anywhere, just got to be conscious of where the bits and pieces are is all. So for someone as a client who isn't too sure what they are really getting themselves into and associate that type of thing with a significant other kind of activity the feeling you get from it can be a bit confusing and sensory overload. I can see how someone might come across as being overtly inappropriate, but not necessarily have ill intent, but rather is ignorant to the culture and ethos of this site. Everything is about context and frame of reference, and of course respect and boundaries. Remember, a lot of us dudes didn't really grow up being taught that it is manly to cuddle lol. Everyone is seeking to fill something through cuddling. Yes this is a platonic site but there are going to be those, even ones who are truly harmless and are very respectful and know what they are getting into, who would likely jump at the chance for something more then a platonic cuddle if the opportunity presents itself and that's where boundaries, respect, and context are crucial. There are also plenty of people on here who only ever want innocent, platonic cuddles and there are those who are here to emphasize cuddling as a form of therapy and as having both psychosocial and medical benefits, @funandadventure comes to mind. And I believe the good ones on here far outweigh the bad so at least I hope. I suppose the awesome ladies on here would know the answer to that more then I. I admittedly don't have a huge amount of experience with seeking out folks simply for just platonic snuggling but I really love it and would do it all the time if I could lol.

April 2017

@FireandBlue Exactly. -> "I don't feel a need to answer those types of inquiries. Or sometimes
people can be awfully demanding, asking for an appointment that same
afternoon which shows they have not read my profile". That's exactly why I say Pros don't have to respond to every message or inquiry. Some are outrageous and flat-out rude. Why bother responding?

Personally I'd still prefer radio silence than to have someone tell me "I don't want to cuddle with you." Seems embarrassing for both of us. And even worse to ask them to explain why. The very thing they don't like about you could be the very thing someone else absolutely loves about you.

Too many positive connections to be made to focus on negative energy.

April 2017

What I find worse than no reply is when I was contacting pros, is they didn't even look at my profile. I had that happen probably close to 8 times or more. I had one pro, say I was out of the country for a while and is now back in town, so that is cool. I then asked her about a couple days the next week if she would be available so we could try to schedule a time for a session. No response at that point, she still had never looked at my profile. So I don't know, just seems like a lot of the pros, and probably others, flake out. So I have never even gotten more than that as a response on here from a pro about a session. I have had responses from a few pros who live in other areas and we chatted about stuff, but alas that is moot as far as sessions go.

April 2017

Just as an example, because I am not a licensed massage therapist but I have taken lots of certifications in healing touch, massage, reflexology, acupressure and acupuncture… Etc.

...As a practitioner or therapist I would not turn someone away based on age, gender, sexual orientation, religion, race, marital status, etc etc etc. it's illegal and/or unprofessional.

But, if someone was rude or crossed boundaries or acted inappropriately or broke the rules of the facility, I absolutely would have the right to refuse service. I see the communication which takes place here on CC in the same light. Whether it is the first communication or many emails or phone calls later, if they are breaking rules and terms of service of this site or each individual persons clearly stated boundaries or comfort level, I think it is each person's responsibility to stick to those boundaries. Like refusing services. Cutting off communication is one of the many choices. Professional cuddlers are under no obligation to communicate with or engage in rude or inappropriate behavior or with people who are breaking the rules. We can't discriminate against people but we can ignore communication that is inappropriate.

Although I understand what you are saying @pmvines if a person lacks social skills or misses certain social cues, that is still not the responsibility of the other person to walk them through it.

Just a couple of days ago I met with someone last minute, against my better judgment, and ended up having to move their hands off of my breasts, out of the back of my yoga pants and I was dry humped several times.

Let me repeat... dry humped. Gross, awkward, wtf, get me out of here before I throat punch somebody DRY HUMPED MY LEG AND HIP.

It's really a messed up situation when you are in someone's home and are trying to negotiate with yourself between Comfort, Safety and Fear. And if you do or say the wrong thing it can turn really ugly really fast. I decided to be "polite but firm" and thankfully nothing went any further. But from the looks of things, it could have. And looking back I absolutely should have taken more time to communicate, or maybe picked up on cues that I normally wouldn't have ignored and just stopped all communication completely and never meeting them. I ignored my first rule to never take a last minute request without doing my safety homework and it backfired. But thankfully only enough to remind me to be more careful. Just because that person contacted me, I was under no obligation to set an appointment.

Sometimes it just comes down to trusting our instincts. And my first instinct was to ignore the initial email or to simply say "I don't take last-minute request". I should have though.

Lesson learned!

I think if everyone shows mutual respect and remembers why all of the rules are in place, we can all have good experiences. Thankfully a handful of bad apples don't ruin the bunch.

hugs!

April 2017

PS. Before anyone asks, yes this person has been banned

April 2017

Good you reported them. that is for sure. Hands down your pants! wow, can't explain that in anyway as an accidental touch. I know I only had one over night cuddle and it was miserable really once we went to bed. I could not sleep. I was worried about accidentally touching her in any private spots. So I only cuddle in a upright or reclined position. so if it is on a bed, it in on top the covers and sitting up.

pmvines · April 2017

@FireAndBlue, I agree it isn't the persons responsibility to walk them through it. If someone crosses a line they cant come back from, give em the boot. It sounds like the guy you are speaking of did not go into the situation with respect for you and had an agenda. I'm really sorry that happened to you, you don't deserve that. Its actually assault if he was doing what you say, especially if he wasn't responding to your redirection. If someone is truly ignorant to something that can be fixed through educating, but if they are truly just trying to bend and break the rules, or simply aren't responding to redirection, then it is most def their fault for being morons. I think there are people who truly are trying this (cuddling) to try to figure out if its for them, or just to see what its like and have misconceptions. I don't blame them for that, its understandable. I screw things up in one way or another on a daily basis in some shape or form lol But even an ignorant person can learn.

TDaniC · April 2017

I feel like this conversation turned quickly to pros not responding, which is an important conversation, but it wasn't what I was aiming for. Haha I really appreciate everyone's opinions and y'all taking time to express them! I've pretty much just come to except that I should probably follow up, but only once.

Morpheus · April 2017

Sorry, happens often here. Topic is about one thing and ends up about something else.

greenearth2 · April 2017

Yea I've noticed no one stays on topic. Gets confusing sometimes.

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