@Mike403 what sites are you using? You may want to try dating apps instead, I say this as someone who hates rejection and who has not the greatest self-esteem. Trust me, the odds here are worse than dating sites. (And you don't even get a relationship out of it here). I advocate the shotgun approach: just use all of the sites (don't pay though). I have definitely gotten more cuddles from outside this website than within. If someone is willing to walk 5 miles with you they're willing to walk 3 miles. Just don't go the extra 2 miles.
@Blue54 You’re really not worth my time to go back and forth on this . You’ll never understand where I’m coming from so good luck in your search of whatever you’re looking for and I’ll continue to do me 👍🏾
@Blue54 Sorry to hear about your experiences. It seems there are plenty of issues people have with meeting people here. Women looking for male cuddle partners seem to get many responses but few quality responses (and a lot of messages that are off-putting). Men here who are looking for female cuddle partners seem to find few cuddlers in their area, and some don't respond.
Ideally, it's good to be able to meet for in-person cuddles. However, it seems that isn't always likely. There seem to be some nice people on this site who are far way too.. I've been open to at least talking to people and making some kind of connection that way. And who knows, I might be traveling and able to meet up with some people some time.
@FlyingToaster same I'll talk with anyone I travel quite a bit for work as well as the joy of it, so I never know where knowing a local cuddler might lead to a great squishy time lol
@Blue54 and @Mike403 403
I've actually just recently uninstalled my dating apps. I couldn't even get the time of day on those darn things, I feel you on that Mike.
To even get to the point of talking about cuddling, you have to match first; then, even if I match, there is no guarantee I'll even get a response. If I do get a response, there is a high likelihood I'll get ghosted. Not to mention, most of the women I match with seem to have the personality of a washboard and I have to carry the conversation and force it going. Furthermore, some people have oddly strict requirements and insta unmatch you if they discover you don't meet that need or whatever. Even if I get a phone number, I might still get ghosted. After 5 years on and off using those apps, I've been on a grand total of 1 date. Ugh, uninstalled, atleast until I get some better photos.
@Blue54 @sunnysideup - Check this out. Somebody made a fake "female" profile on a dating app just to see how many messages it'll receive in a short amount of time.
@sunnysideup almost exactly like this site. Except you have more chances because of the higher user base.
Hi @Blue54 I feel your pain. I just moved from the Front Range. I honestly found slim pickin's also. It took me about 1 night to find a wonderful guy when I was in Seattle. It took me a few weeks to find a lovely guy in the Bay Area and we cuddled weekly until covid hit (he was married, his wife knew he was cuddling, she was ill and he needed to cuddle, so they worked it out).
I'm in conversation with a few people where I am now but haven't found anyone quite yet that I jive with. I'm picky also. I think patience it is.
I'd pay too if I could find someone like that honestly. It would be refreshing too to feel like the person was there for MY needs and not the other way around, which often seems to be the orientation of the fellows. Not all, mind you. We have some stellar guys on here and I've been gifted by a few of them, both in cuddling, and in their kindness and friendship on here.
Good luck! Patience it is. It's a relatively new thing too, so perhaps over time we'll have more enthusiasts. But there are LOTS of men on here that are dying to meet an enthusiast. We just aren't necessarily all in each other's back yards or each other's types. I did see a few guys in Denver that had I been there longer, I would have probably sought to cuddle. But that's more than 10-15 miles.
Good luck!!
@CuddleMeLater there actually are two reasons that preclude me from seeing professional cuddlers. 1. There are no professional male cuddlers in my area. (Even if there were, I would still be extremely picky. Probably even pickier.) And 2. I don’t want to see a female professional cuddler. It’s pretty simple.
Along the same line of thought… It is very easy for a man to find a massage that offers a happy ending but this practice is almost nonexistent for females. I understand that is it is illegal here in the United States, but men can still find these services located very openly in store fronts. Whirt this being said, where would someone like me to go to find a male massage therapist who also offers the practice of Yoni healing?
My points once again being, that women are not able to pay for intimate services of touch, cuddling, and healing in the same way that men can.
Comment edited. No baiting. [-Sid]
@Mike403 I understand. Dating websites are extremely harsh on men. I’m starting to really like this forum also. Even if I ruffle a few feathers, I do come to this forum with brutal honesty. But I don’t have any ill will.
@Mike403 I also agree with you on this point. No strings attached cuddling is blowing my mind. I feel like there are always strings attached unless it is a payment/service relationship. The type of connection I’m seeking when cuddling is intense. And I want to create a friend and I’m OK if it turns into a dating relationship. But I always want to start with platonic, no pressure cuddling.
Comment edited. No personal attacks. [-Sid] I just don’t feel like corresponding with you anymore so please refrain from tagging me and enjoy your day.
@Mike403 the video you posted is amazing and it is a very true representation of the amount of communication I also received on plenty of fish. I did feel badly for how harsh the creator’s opinion of the females appearance was. That is still a real human being. However, I understand that her profile/life is an absolute disaster. I fully comprehend the experiment and can appreciate it for revealing the behaviors that are happening over and over with negative results, or no results at all.
It’s like men are just playing a numbers game. And the women are becoming frustrated because we want quality over quantity. I understand that you may just want something, anything and that women are ignoring you. I think with the invention of the Internet we all thought that communication would become easier. It may only be keeping us further apart in cases like this.
@littermate I really appreciate the things you wrote. You have a much softer and gentler tone than I do. I could learn a lot from you. I think I’ve just hit this wall of frustration. I’ve had two positive cuddling experiences… Both men rejected me after and wanted to pursue cuddling more petite women and were honest about this. (I’m 6’ 2” and they were both around 5’7”). I had driven over an hour to see each one.
I had two more experiences where the apartments were so filthy that I left before cuddling even began. Both of those gentlemen I also drove over an hour. My point in disclosing the distances I traveled is to let people know that I have traveled throughout the entire Denver area. I’ve stopped because of the time and resources I am using to experience disappointment and let down. So while I may be receiving messages and even cuddle dates. It feels like the men are just so excited to get someone to cuddle them, that they aren’t really prepared or doing their research ahead of time for a quality connection.
And I know that my tone in this forum has been extremely brutal. I also know the tone in my profile is rough. I am just trying to be abundantly clear and not sugarcoat any of my feelings that I’m having at this time. It doesn’t mean cuddling with me is a venting session or unpleasant at all. It just means that I’m hurt. I’ve had tall girl problems my entire life. And I know that short men can relate.
Comment removed. No baiting or name-calling. [-Sid]
Comment removed. No baiting, no personal attacks. [-Sid]
@Mike403 I think plenty of people could understand it. You would need to write your profile in a manner that teaches and explains.
Well, this thread has become unproductive.
@Blue54 It has been pretty obvious to me that you are hurting and for that I am so sorry. Underneath your harshness I can also see a caring, sensitive and compassionate person who is trying to find something/someone specific. I would be interested in hearing about those things in life that you are passionate about and that give you joy. The frustration you have about not finding the person you are looking for is not the fault of CC. This platform is much like life itself. You buy your ticket and you take your chances. Very few things are guaranteed and we all have to figure things out. Sometimes we have to change our change our strategy and do some compromising. I am certain there is an incredible person inside of you and I wish you much success and happiness.
@Mmart I feel like You are trying to be very nice. But the message you sent me also feels extremely condescending. I am not blaming cuddle comfort for any of the dynamics on this website. I’m blaming our culture. I know the men on this website are hurting just like the women are. If we all had the healthy strong relationships that we desired we would not have to go looking for them in non-traditional forms.
@Blue54 it's very unfortunate that you see @Mmart 's message as condescending. From what I have seen he is one of the most sincerely kind people on these forums. I've never seen him do anything but be kind. I don't even think he'll be offended by your response but it does make me saddened.
I will say this thread may not help in your pursuit. Your frustrations have seemed to turn into attacks. I do hope you can find what you're looking for.
I also hope this thread will be addressed by moderators. I have flagged some messages so hopefully they'll be along soon to address the issues.
@Blue54 I feel yah with the tall girl thing. Daughter is 6'.
Brutal will get brutal back. You seem to be able to dance with it. I also find it's rare for people to just listen to a rant versus try ro save, correct, fix or fight with the person. Hard to get a good rant in without having to wade through all that.
Best of luck. I wish you abundant scrumptious snuggles.
Attacking people is the polar opposite of what this community is supposed to be about. I feel that some people treat this site as their personal kingdom. You say something they don't agree with and they swarm like sharks.
@Sashamcgee I also saw his message and believe he is trying to be nice. You did take my words slightly out of context. But that context matters greatly. I also feel like you are trying to be very nice. I’m sure Mmart is a great guy.
@Blue54 💜 I truly wish you the best of luck!
I feel like the gentleman here still don’t really understand what I am expressing. Let me show you someone who has been trying to communicate with me for the last seven-ish days. I will do everything that I know to do to protect his identity. But he has already done an excellent job of protecting his own identity. His profile is almost completely blank. I apologize, I posted the messages out of order. It should be pretty clear though
I like this thread. A lot of pain is being let out.
Mods, please be merciful.
@Blue54
And I want to create a friend and I’m OK if it turns into a dating relationship. But I always want to start with platonic, no pressure cuddling.
I've been trying to understand exactly what's going on for you. I feel the pain, but up till now I didn't fully comprehend where all of it was coming from, and this quote helps. (I get the part about societal inbalances and unfairnesses.)
It seems to me that you see cuddling as a precursor to something else. That something else could be one of several things, and of course it might not come to fruition. But at the back of your mind there is hope for a progression.
My approach is completely different. I see the cuddling relationship as an end in itself. I don't want it to lead to anything else. If it does, well, fine, all relationships are dynamic. But ideally I want my cuddle buddies to stay as cuddle buddies. And as far as I know, they want the same.
I see having lots of cuddle buddies as like having lots of friends. I wouldn't want an exclusive cuddling relationship, that would be like having an exclusive friend.
This difference in outlook between 'progression' and 'end in itself' explains some of the difference in opinion about cuddling married people (in the other thread). If you believe that cuddling is a precursor to something else, then obviously you would be uncomfortable with your spouse cuddling somebody.
Btw I don't think your tone has been "extremely brutal". I don't think it's been brutal at all. Frank, certainly, even blunt. But at no point have you sought to hurt anybody.
As for the height question, that truly baffles me. I've cuddled people well under two feet tall and that was absolutely brilliant. Not recently, but in the past I've cuddled with people three times my height, and that was brilliant too.
@Blue54 No attempt to be condescending at all. Sorry you read it that way
Sometimes it can be easy to misinterpret someone's message when all we have is the text of their message and no tone of voice and no body language to see. It can sometimes be easy to think they're being condescending etc. when that might not be the case.
The issue if guys' lack of communication skills and sometimes being creepy comes up here relatively often. I agree it would be good if peoples' communication were better. I don't claim to be a master at conversation myself, and as an introvert, sometimes I feel like I have to work at thinking about keeping the conversation flowing.
@CuddleDuncan how can someone be three times your height unless you are 2 feet tall?
And yes also I really enjoy cuddling but I find it to be extremely intimate-Not sexual necessarily, but extremely intimate. I only want to cuddle one friend at a time… Meaning that I want to cuddle one person for an extended period such as several months or more. I am open to cuddling being strictly platonic. I am also open to cuddling that may lead to a dating relationship. If this community does not want me because I view cuddling differently than you do as a community, Then I am happy to show myself out. I think there should be room for all types of viewpoints around cuddling as long as I am following the rules set forth here.
It honestly blows my mind that people can cuddle multiple, and keep multiple intimate cuddle friends — even behind the backs of their wives and husbands. But I do not want to be mean to anyone because they want something different than what I want. I just want to find what I want. I’m not judging anyone. I just want things differently for me.
I’m not a one time cuddle type of person. If you cuddle me once only and refuse to cuddle me again, I view that as rejection. That’s my personal feeling. I understand that people don’t share that. It’s just me.