Just wondering if the holidays make you feel lonely or happy to be alone. I'm separated and in the process of divorcing. I'm happy but with Christmas coming I'm wondering if my feelings will change.
I have lost a lot of loved ones around Christmas so I tend to not celebrate much
I’ll be alone
For me - growing up I used to love the holidays , they felt soo alive & something I looked forward to.. 😄
Mid to late 20’s I felt lonely 😔
Now I’m indeffrent ... holidays are just another day of the week for me (not down over it, I just lost the magic over them 🌌
Won't lie, not being able to see my kiddos this time of year is rough so yep lonely
@introvme my feelings about the holidays have changed on a similar timeline to how yours have. In 2017 & ‘19 I was with family for Christmas Day, but felt very awkward and uncomfortable in my great uncle’s house. In 2018 I went after Christmas Day to attend my sister’s second and final wedding reception, but in 2020 I had to cancel my flight due to quarantine requirements upon returning to California. Plus another lockdown came along 12/6, and knowing the lying sadist pigs officially called the Orange County Sheriff’s Deputies are always on patrol at the airport, I didn’t want them questioning me when I’m not committing any act that could be misunderstood as constituting a crime.
I hear you @APV
I think i'll be alone too for the holidays. I was looking forward to working but now there's the tier 4 restrictions. sigh
Just two choices—no other perspectives allowed?
I’ll be alone (without a significant other. I’m okay with that), but not alone because I have family. It will just be a lot different this year. I lost my dad in August.
Ill be alone because all my family is dead and I dont have friends due to people thinking that they cant be "just friends" with me all because they are in a relationship.
I'm pleased to see this thread. One of the little taboos in our society is spending Christmas alone. Most people who are doing it keep quiet about it because you are 'supposed' to have somebody to spend it with. This is obviously nonsense.
It's too late for this year, but what I have observed is this. If you are expecting to spend Christmas alone, and on the whole would rather not, tell absolutely everybody. There are far more people spending it alone than you think, and even more spending it with people they don't really want to because they are afraid of spending it alone. Over the years I have persuaded quite a number of people to own the news and spread it, and the result is always the same: something good happens.
Sometimes they end up hosting a little Christmas party. Sometimes they find themselves invited to some other singleton's party. Or to a family. More families than you might expect have a tradition of inviting a waif or stray for Christmas, and if you're in this position you are one for the duration.
From my own experience of spending Christmas alone, and I've done it several times, the best thing to do is have a full scale Christmas party. The technicality that you're the only guest is irrelevant. You can still have fine food and drink, Christmas traditions, paper hats and dancing.
I'll be spending Christmas Eve with my adult children, and Christmas bday with my best bud and his wife.
My adult daughter is here with me and I'm really happy about that.
@saxman I imagine there's probably more to that. It sounds like for some reason, everyone you know wants to be more than friends with you (but can't because they're in a relationship)?
I have some family in the area who plan to have a small get-together for Christmas.
I was given the idea of a Zoom-Meet x-mas ~ So I'm throwing that idea into the family messaging pot to see what happens... tbd...
I will be home alone, but thanks to social media, zoom etc. I can still enjoy family and friends.
I'll be alone. I have losses my loved ones parents and child. I'll be online which helps a little but I loathe the holidays.
@littermate That's fantastic! Enjoy your blessings.
The holidays have always made me a little depressed ever since I was a young age despite having family to celebrate them with at the time. Maybe it was the dysfunctional broken/mixed family thing that did it for me. Combined with my own social awkwardness.
@FlyingToaster Nope. Quite the opposite. Trust me! if someone wanted a relationships with me they would break up with the person they are with. My immediate family is dead and the outside relatives who used to invite their mother and Grandmother hated me just because I am the "ugly duckling" and my Dads ex girlfriend (ex because Dad is dead) only calls me on the phone to "see how I am doing" even though she had ben promising for five years, "We will get together." (Which I never believed in the first place.)
Why do you think men like us have to HIRE someone to hug and hold us? Its becaue society thinks that we are scum.
Thanks @DrCuddleBug. I'm so just eating it with a spoon honestly. And once she has a test on Tuesday and gets the results, it's gonna be cuddle time!
My dog and I are sledding down to steal Christmas this year so no one has to worry anymore.
There is some discomfort at the thought of spending Christmas alone. Nothing wrong with keeping it simple and avoid comparing yourself to the commercial expectations of what Christmas is supposed to be.
@littermate I've the image
I always wondered what @FunCartel looked like. I wasn't expecting him to be green.
I'll be spending Christmas with my chosen family. I have cardboard cutouts of the following people, and each will be given a specific role:
Rutger Hauer, as he appeared in Hobo with a Shotgun, as my father. He will be seated at the head of the table. It will be his responsibility to serve everyone else food; he's the sort of dad that would ensure that everyone gets a mostly equal amount of turkey Lunchables and instant mashed potato powder.
Monica Belucci, as she appeared in the second terrible Matrix film, as my mother. She will be seated next to father, and will have put a great deal of effort into the event's decorations; the pile of dead leaves acting as the Christmas tree will be gorgeous, and the finger-painted pictures of Santa and baby Jesus will be sights to behold.
Hugh Jackman, from The Prestige, as my older brother. He normally drinks too much, but will be putting in an effort to control himself this Christmas—only touching his Solo cup of rust-colored water from time to time. He'll bring his children, a brood represented by a horde of spiders, but so long as they stay in their corner everything will be fine.
Sasha Grey, as my older sister. She's a bit of a black sheep, given the kinds of outfits she normally wears. She'll have a voracious appetite, and will gobble up everything placed before her while screaming in ecstacy about how good the stuff is.
It will be many things, but my Christmas this year won't be even slightly lonely.
@saxman
Speaking as fellow scum, there is much truth in that statement. However, note that that you mention 'society' and society is constituted by a myriad of people. Remember, just because 'everybody' thinks X it does not mean that every single individual actually thinks that - there are always lots of exceptions.
Cuddle Comfort is one of the ways to find those exceptions.
You said,
Ill be alone because ....
With the greatest respect, and with the greatest appreciation and understanding for the difficulties of your situation, the reasons that you quote are not the whole story. You will be alone partly because you have not arranged to spend Christmas with people.
It's probably a bit late for this year, especially because of you-know-what, but there is plenty of time for next year. There are a million ways of spending Christmas with people - one or two are mentioned in my previous post in this thread - and the cliché representing some of the others is helping out at a homeless shelter.
I've spend Christmas alone several times, but I always felt I had a choice. I mean, I always did have a choice, in fact even more choices than I realised at the time. However, I also know that when you feel rejected by the world it can be very hard to recognise that you have that choice. Fact remains, there is always a corner of the world that would be happy to see you.
Looks like y'all need to focus on the healing next year.
Despite the losses that I had I went through a lot of pain and healing and now do not experience any loneliness.
Doesn't matter if it's Tuesday or Christmas. It's just another day in the week.
In the end, it's up to you to decide how you handle this.
Nobody but you and you alone have the power to remove the misery in your life.