@WKCuddles I certainly don’t feel too comfortable being spoiled or made to feel that I’m the special one when there’s a session, some people are just naturally givers. I draw the line at bottles of wine and whatnot. I agree that it’s frowned upon. But I also really like your answer on how to treat a pro right.
Not sure why you deleted your initial comment, but cheers.
While I think it’s very sweet that you make your cuddler dinner as a pro I would not feel comfortable accepting unless I knew you fairly well. A bottle of water is always thoughtful and I would accept that for sure. When I was planning to host I stocked up on bottled drinks and packaged snacks to offer my clients but only ended up having one session there. I typically go to my clients. I have picked up drinks I knew a client liked on my way to his place before but that is the extent of it for me at this point
@KariMeiSnuggles Why would you feel uncomfortable? I'll always accept free food!
I'm not sure if this is the same reason @KariMeiSnuggles would feel uncomfortable accepting dinner from someone she didn't know well, but in my case, I want to know people long enough to trust that they wouldn't try to slip something into my food/drink. I'd certainly accept a sealed bottle of water or unopened snack package!
Wow, y'all are seriously cautious...almost too much so? I'm trying not to be judgmental, but I'm curious if maybe something like this has happened in the past that has resulted in this fear? Or do you just watch a lot of TV shows about crazy stalkers?
I've never once had the fear that a stranger slipped poison in my food. The thought has never even crossed my mind until now. Then again, I don't often go to strangers' houses either, since I'm not a pro cuddler. But if I did, I wouldn't decline food out of fear that it might be poisoned. Maybe I'm just not being cautious enough?
@HugAnEwok they are cautious cus women carry the burden of safety factors like rape and violent assault that statistically happens way more often to them especially when it comes to meeting interwebs strangers. I was once with a friend who was fine then 15 min later after talking to a dude at the bar I see him practically carrying her out the door she was practically in a twilight state like they do when the dentist gives you gas . After giving him the gift of toothlessness I threw her over my shoulder and brought her home. She slept til morning and remembered nothing
Yes they should be paying me 😤
I can’t believe some people are so obtuse that they do not get why women might decline food and drink from someone they just met. Heck, I would decline as most female murderers use poison as their weapon of choice. But seriously, does anyone keep up with the news anymore?
@HugAnEwok, if you have hulu there's a show called Dating App Horrors that will tell you all you need to know about why women have to be careful about what we eat and drink.
@FunCartel Nope. That shit's depressing. I don't even have cable TBH.
@HugAnEwok Exactly what the others are saying. The benefits aren't worth the risks. It's easy for me to eat and drink before meeting someone, bring my own food, etc. The consequences of trusting the wrong person with something like this are immense.
Also, yeah, I'd hazard to say that many of us know at least one woman who's been drugged. I've known a few.
@pmvines That story is METAL. You rock!!
Burying one’s head in the sand is an impediment to empathy. But your nostrils may become fiddler crab nests in the sand and fiddler crabs are crustacean bears.
@HugAnEwok
As someone who has been drugged and slipped things in other circumstances, the concern is very real.
Please do not deminish the dangers that ANYONE can experience, including men. I've had guy friends drugged, beaten, robbed and left in ditches by complete strangers they didn't even once have a conversation with, just wrong moment and lapse of awareness.
I, too, cannot believe this has to be said. But here we are.
Why do guys need to say something to the effect of, "well, I will never do something like that. You can trust me." If they start trusting you that easily, they'll trust anyone and it only takes one bad apple to scar them for life.
I see a lot of African Americans in my line of work in poor and underserved communities , mostly 60 and older , who have a difficult time trusting me because I am both white , and am in healthcare. I dont go into it with the attitude of well but I'm not that kind of white guy , I wouldn't do anything racist or harmful to you , you can trust me ! I go into it knowing there might be some trust issues based on experiences and attitudes that I can try to empathize with though have no real way of knowing first hand what it might be like for the other person, and I do what a can to earn their trust. If you go into it with the but I'm a nice guy why would you not take my drink or food approach, you are only perpetuating the cycle of mistrust
Actual nice people never tries to manipulate somebody into doing something they are uncomfortable with. If they decline an offer and your first thought is, "but....", you need to stop and take a long look at yourself.
@Mike403 Thanks, you're exactly right! Even if someone knows they're a nice guy and they wouldn't do something like that, how's a stranger supposed to know? Someone who's planning to drug you isn't exactly gonna come out and say, "MWA HA HA, I have placed an eeeevil substance in your drink whilst you were unawares, my pretty!" while he twirls his snidely whiplash mustache around his index finger.
@MissAdventurous That is horrifying, and I'm so sorry it happened to you.
Out of courtesy & manners I always offer something ( usually a bottled water or prepackaged snack ) that’s how I was brought up ...... But I’m never offended if my offer is declined.
I had somebody decline my offer for a drink at a bar even though she was standing at the bar and could watch the bartender make it for her. She must have had her reasons, but I didn't get offended.
@Mike403 in a situation like that sometimes in a situation like that even if they trust the drink is safe they’ll decline so they don’t feel or the doesn’t feel he’s owed something for buying them a drink.
@MissAdventurous I'm not trying to diminish anyone or anything. I was just genuinely curious why so many people think this way. It just seemed odd to me, since I've obviously never had any of these negative experiences that it appears many others have had.
To clarify, I'm not offended when someone turns down my offer, as long as it's done politely. I don't get offended easily.
Wow, y'all are seriously cautious...almost too much so?
That doesn’t come across as curious. It comes off as dismissive.
@FunCartel Sorry if that came across the wrong way. I was just surprised.
@HugAnEwok No apology needed but if you are looking for a woman to cuddle, don’t dismiss their no’s or question their reasons for it because you can be viewed as someone who is intentionally playing dumb or you need to be educated, and most women do not care to find out which on a cuddle.
Summary: they always have a good reason and it usually involves them being fond of breathing for a few more years or avoiding the pratfalls of emotional recovery following trauma.
One person offered to extend a session for me for an additional 30 minutes if I helped her out with sending her money to go to the hospital when she had to go to the emergency room. And that had to be one of the best sessions I have ever had. Especially because she has a Hamic.
I always treat my cuddler like I was an honored guest, and being invited into their home. I dressed appropriately, brought a small gift (tea collection, gourmet coffee beans, or a little decorative stone with words like “Calm, Peace, tranquility.” I always offer to take off my shoes as a sign of respect (learned it from Japanese culture). Also stick to the rules and protocols. Makes for a positive & healing session. Zen-like.
@Andy1996 That's so lovely! It's great that you have such a nice and close relationship with your pro! If you don't mind my asking, what is a Hamic?
@TheNewNovelist Bringing a gift is a lovely idea, especially if you're going to her home! I suppose you'd have to get to know her a bit first so that you know what she likes. Have you ever hosted in your own home?
I don't personally, as it could be misinterpreted as a romantic gesture or they just simply might not like the gift.
@pmvines fistbump. You’re a good man!