I always enjoy the joke threads on here What are some of your favorite dad jokes/groaners/puns? Clean or dirty, I don't care as long as they don't break site rules! Please share!
Dad memes count as well. Please feel free to share dad memes.
Did you hear about the wooden car with the wooden engine and wooden transmission? It wooden run.
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
@quixotic_life, @FunCartel These are all brilliant Thank you!
What do you call a happy cowboy?
A Jolly Rancher
What did the stuffing say to the turkey? "I'm so into you!"
For the ladies...an oldie but goody;
What do you call a useless piece of skin on a penis? A man.
Ok, so this one is a bit tasteless. So be forewarned.
Water.
Oh lawd... these are getting significantly worse and I'm loving it.
How is a chicken like a grape? They're both purple, except for the chicken.
Also:
What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent Featuring Nickleback!
Doctor: Relax David, its only minor surgery, don't panic. Me: But my name isn't David. Doctor: I know I'm David
I was reading a book in Braille the other day. I could feel something was about to happen.
Patient: “Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.” Doctor: “How do you feel?” Patient: “A little down in the mouth.”
What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?
Taller
Doctor: I have some bad news for you. I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating. Me: I don't understand doc, why? Doctor: Because I am trying to examine you.
Farmer: How many hogs got out? Son: Nineteen Farmer: Ok, round em up Son: Twenty
Know what they do to celebrate Halloween in West Virginia?
Pump Kin
Everything was fine until I got a universal remote.
It changed everything
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin off.
Whenever somebody was dragging their feet especially slowly on a Sunday, Dad used to say they were so slow they'd be late for their own funeral.
He never explained, dagnabbit! Years it took before I got the joke!
I love this thread 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Did you hear the one about the watermelon and the jump rope?
Skip it, it's pitiful.
I think someone here needs to Goggle " WV. JUSTICE" before they start making comments about WV.
Why did West Virginia disband its water polo team?
All the horses drowned.
@squeakytoy ~ I'm embarrassed by how long it took me to figure that out! Lol!! 🤦♀️
@quixotic_life You got it, and that's the only thing that matters in the end!
@squeakytoy @quixotic_life - I don't get it. I must be dumb.
What are some of your favorite dad jokes/groaners/puns? Clean or dirty, I don't care as long as they don't break site rules! Please share!