Discrimination in the cuddleverse?

NoVAgirl

Hi Everyone! I'm a brand new pro cuddler in the DC metro area. My friend told me about this site and I really love what it stands for and is about! Since I'm new and haven't really met anybody yet, I'm curious to know if anyone has had any experiences with discrimination in the cuddle world while being a cuddler of color? It's something that I am a bit worried about since I'm totally new to this! Curious to know of others experiences. Feel free to DM me as well!

Including a poll in case anyone is too shy to share. ❤

CuddleDuncan

Welcome, @NoVAgirl! Thank you for putting the third option so we can all see the results.

sunnysideup

Discrimination is a part of life unfortunately, CC is no different. I believe and hope that it will improve over time. People generally aren't going to be vocal regarding their discriminatory practices. I haven't faced any overt discrimination when messaging or meeting with anyone on here.

I hope your experience will be just as good.

bookloverxx

Hi! Thank you so much for this discussion. I’m also a new cuddler of color in the Central VA area. I wondered the same thing & am so happy this thread is here to start this conversation.

SunshineDNA

Heyyyy! I’m also a new cuddler of colour based in London, UK! It might be different here...I love cuddles so much and I just hope everyone can get along across the world with cuddles 💕💕💕

European_Amazon

Welcome to the cuddle community
I personally don't discriminate, no matter skin color, gender, body type or whatever I cuddle everyone who treats me respectful and has a good hygiene...but I do heard from cuddle enthusiasts multiple times that they have preferences and choose a pro cuddler based on that.
I wish you nothing but great cuddle experiences here xx

peachinthecity

Hi, I’m new on here as well! Coming from the Atlanta area. This is something that’s been on my mind since joining, especially being in the south. I’m glad that this is being open for discussion, especially now. Though this isn’t a new issue on websites for us.

xandriarain

I have had several clients tell me that they were only interested in me because I was one of the only white cuddlers in the area and I’ve had some tell me that they weren’t interested in certain in cuddlers because they were black. They tried to defend themselves and play it off like they weren’t racist. I definitely feel icky because I clearly am benefiting from the fact that I am white in this profession. I wanted to bring this topic up several times but I wasn’t sure if it was my place. So I’m really glad that you did bring it up.

joiedevivre_

I’m a new cuddler in London and have had a positive experience so far! I’d hope that people are able to look beyond colour and appreciate the person within because there are great cuddles to be had with people of all shapes, colours and sizes 😊

hugonehugall

Unfortunately because this community is a microcosm of our society in general I’m sure there are POC/Minorities that have been turned down because of their race. As unfortunate as it is enthusiasts are within their right to do so because of their ability to pick and choose based on whatever parameters they choose. Pros according to site rules are not allowed to but I’m sure some do. No one has never openly told me that’s why they won’t meet me or take me as a client but who’s to say it’s never been a reason .

BeyondTheFrey

Hi! Thank you so much for posting this. I am a new cuddler in the Chicago area, but I frequent my hometown, Houston, often. Coming from the South, this is something that definitely crossed my mind. I’m really interested in the responses everyone has.

sweetcompanion5

Welcome to CC. Thank you for a great discussion for our CC forum. Hopefully an older caucasian male is welcome to comment. If not I would not be offended if it is deleted. I have only been able to book sessions with pros. Looking forward to my 1st enthusiast cuddle.

I book based upon the following criteria when booking a pro:
1. I have a limit per hour that I will pay.
2. I travel so I look who is available that is convenient to location.
3. I like a to see a decent description in the "about me" part of profile.

I do only cuddle women. I do not discriminate based upon color or ethnicity. My very first cuddle was with a woman of color and it was fantastic. My current percentage is 40% of my cuddles have been women of color and I look forward to more.

CrizR

I'm a person of color and usually send a picture of myself to any other cuddler in my first message, so they know what I look like. The people I contact are aware right away that I am black. Many respond and I've met a fair amount of people with almost no problems. And any issue that comes up isn't race related afaik. So I can't really say I have experienced discrimination here myself.

Maybe it's possible that someone who never responded did so because of my skin color. Or maybe they were busy or had received too many messages to check them all. Or they were open to cuddling other black people but though I in particular was unattractive or something. It's hard to tell.

That said, I'm sure it's out there on this site, as it is in human society at large. Though any discrimination will probably be well hidden and not obvious.

Wow, so glad that you posted this. I am a new cuddler of color in North Carolina. The cuddle community needs to be inclusive and equitable. I do not discriminate against anyone and I expect the same in return. Let's be the change we want to see. Love and light.

BelizeanQueen

Hey all! I’m based in Las Vegas, NV. I’m a procuddler of color as well but I haven’t directly been a victim of discrimination as I would assume if I’m not the type, then someone would continue their search for the right cuddler. Discrimination was one thing I was afraid of when I first started as well, so far so good. I personally do not discriminate, I book with everyone 💙 I’m interested in seeing the responses from those who can share similar experiences!

pmvines

I have spoken to a couple folks on here and came to realize they were a bit bigoted. All types on the interwebs. Racists apparently like cuddling too

I am a new professional cuddler and while I have not personally suffered from discrimination yet, I am excited to provide an inclusive and loving environment to anyone who wants to cuddle with me! Regardless of our background, we all need some warm hugs and snuggles to keep the good feelings up 🥰

BelizeanQueen

@plushdoll I’m relocating to the Atlanta area next month but the times that I have visited, I haven’t experienced any discrimination at all, as a woman of color (I book sessions everywhere I visit).

peachinthecity

I’m actually very appreciative on this post and I’m happy that more people are adding their experiences in. So far, I’ve not encountered any discrimination on this site and everyone has been extremely polite and kind to me. However, the concern stil lingers. As far as myself, I’m open to cuddling all kinds of people, and wouldn’t want to someone feel unwelcome or even uncomfortable when contacting me about a booking. I can only hope for this to get better over time, and that the site handles any blatant discrimination.

NoVAgirl

The replies are all so great you guys! What a cool and respectful community. I feel so welcomed by everyone! 🤗❤

Catloaf

I have heard a few tales of POC male clients who felt they were being judged based on where they're from or what their ethnic background is. Some populations are presumed to be here for sexual reasons more than others (this seems to be the case especially for South Asians). There is a stereotype of South Asian men for instance, as being perverted/touchy feely. While openly discussing topics that surround sex is still very much stigmatised and lack of consent remains a problem in certain parts of the world, this does not make it okay to paint people with broad brushstrokes.

CuddleDuncan

@sweetcompanion5

If not I would not be offended if it is deleted.

It won't. The forum rules are clear - everybody is welcome to post in any thread. However, as you rightly imply, in some threads (like this one) people not directly affected should be extra cautious and thoughtful about posting.

Have to tell you, I looked at your profile and all I saw was that smile. ( AWESOME )

pmvines

Unfortunately preferences do play a part with some folks on here. Re ethnicity, race , age , body type, and sometimes gender and sexuality. I would like to believe that is the exception not the rule.but I can only speak from my own personal experiences. And as a white hetero male in his 40s who is on the mostly average side in terms of looks, I cant say that my experiences would be the same as that of somebody else when looking for a cuddle friend

waynewv

For me, it does not matter at all, I would hope it would not matter in today’s world.
I would say go by your gut feeling. I have met most of my cuddle partners out in public 1st, like for ice cream, meal-etc., that always seemed to work out very good.

hugonehugall

@AstroMystic totally unnecessary comment and completely unrelated to the topic at hand. Please don’t derail an important thread topic with trolling.

He's been warned. Please carry on, folks! This is a very important topic and I'm glad it's being discussed.

GirlNextDoor_FL

Great post! I don't discriminate who I cuddle, I only have exceptions for hygiene and behavior. I haven't had anyone (to my knowledge) discriminate against me, in fact 99% of all messages in my inbox have been very friendly and I hope others receive the same experience!

Best part of CC is that for the most part everyone is very respectful and open. To me, you can't beat that on the internet!

@Catloaf Some populations are presumed to be here for sexual reasons more than others (this seems to be the case especially for South Asians). There is a stereotype of South Asian men for instance, as being perverted/touchy feely.

This is first time I’m hearing this. No wonder I haven’t had a single cuddle here! 😡 /s

Oddly enough, I’ve had great conversations with a couple of Indian female Pro cuddlers. Me being ‘Indian’ didn’t seem to bother them any. Do they know something about South-Asian men that we don’t?

Ethnically I am Asian-Indian, but culturally I am a Mid-Westerner from Ohio (like Bob Seger & Journey, tried Cow-Tipping, love Ohio State Football, etc.). Do we now need one entry for ethnicity and another for cultural identity?

QUEENsizeuddles

Idk about color but i dont get alot of cuddles. I think they dont like plus size women...lol

SuperManCuddles

Thank you for the honest/respectful comments, from many diverse groups of people. On other more anonymous sites very few people brought up race as an issue but many whether they had previous experience or not shared affection (hugs and or cuddles) with me anyway based on other connections we shared. On this site to my knowledge, I have not issues based on race. Have cuddled with many different types of people (age, race, height, location and etc.) In life outside of cuddling and in the South especially, many people often make negative race based stereotypical comments about me whether directly or indirectly (many of which do not apply to me personally). I share my experiences with many people willing to listen to educate and inspire others. Life has many obstacles, will take on the challenges, strive to be my best self and be happy. Overall on this site, many people have diverse friends and or cuddle buddies. I have been happy to see that over the years. Much love ❤️ to all of you!!!