@Ahmedali999
women safety it's really important because many men don't like when their partners,sisters mothers get assaulted.
No. Women's safety is not important because violation of it INSULTS / HURTS MEN.
Women's safety is important because we are people who are highly targeted by (almost exclusively) male aggressors, and deserve to be able to exist without considering safety first in EVERY action we take.
And:
but not all of them don't judge the book by it's cover women get offended easily
Check your male privilege. A woman having rules / standards / guidelines (so exhausting) to keep creepers and predators at a distance is not something for you to feel sorry for yourself, about. But if it inconveniences you:
1 Blame the men who are the reason for it, not the women just trying to exist. 2 If it's such an issue for you, then it's working, BECAUSE YOU JUST TOLD US MEN LIKE YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.
Simply to be clear: Trying to convince someone that their boundary is "wrong" is the opposite of respecting boundaries.
@CharlesThePoet Thank you, Charles
I agree with you most men when bring up massage their have sexual intentions but not all of them don't judge the book by it's cover women get offended easily when men bring up massage
So on one hand you agree that most men who bring up massage have sexual intentions, on the other we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover.
Pick a lane. We are protecting ourselves from potential unwanted touching and the possibility of assault. Us women, are not getting offended at the idea of getting a relaxing platonic massage. We are offended that men like yourself come in here and tell us how WE as women should feel. There's more at stake than your fragile ego.
"by the way women safety it's really important because many men don't like when their partners,sisters mothers get assaulted"
@DarrenWalker read this bit to me aloud. We both gave each other a horrified look. "What the ****", I said, amazed at the sheer stupidity of what Darren had read to me.
And then we laughed.
Your worldview is broken.
Ok women relax 🤗 men shouldn't bring massage topic but woman can especially pro women because they can make money from vulnerable men
I guess it depends on how it’s brought up in conversation. I’ve traded massages on a platonic level and it was very well needed lol! I’ve had clients that were massage therapists as well which was even better. As long as you have the right intentions, I see no issues
Just want to add that Ahmed seems to not have the best control over the English language, so his posts read like a roarschach test. Meaning you can read any meaning you want into it, worst possible included.
Also, from his past posts, dude does seem very vulnerable, so take that how you want.
@Mccddles the subject its not about English you pro and making Fun hypocrite, English isn't my first language 🤫 some women get offended if men bring massage topic which is normal but if a women or pro women bring it's absolutely fine.
@MaullySterling & @Envie 🙌🏼👍🏼 We got to put our safety first pure & simple. I really don’t care how or why the men get offended by this post! Guys you do not get assaulted as much as we do so that should be enough.
@CharlesThePoet 🫂🫂🫂 why can’t they be like you? So awesome! You give me hope for mankind!!!
@DarrenWalker @DarkLordChungus thats patriarchy talk from @Ahmedali999 I was WTF😳 literally reading that!! Enough said time to 🤐 because this topic is a trigger for me. Assaults come from those you trust!!
@Ahmedali999 ok. I’ll try a half assed answer to you because I honestly don’t think you’ll get it…
So you say: don’t judge a book. Ok. So I should let him massage me and HOPE he’s a nice guy. What if he’s not? What if hes another guy that tries to grab my ass or touch my breasts? Or tries something even worse? Like rape me? Do you honestly think we should trust every single guy is a nice guy? And just sit there and wait until they do something bad to us? Don’t tell women to relax. It shows you honestly don’t see the safety side of this. We aren’t “offended”, we just care about our safety. (Heaven forbid)… we say no right away to the option of massage because WE DONT KNOW YOU. I’m not going to let you massage me because YOU tell me you’re a nice guy… respect the fact that there are a lot of guys that take advantage of us and I’d rather say no to massage to stop the sexual assault before it even begins… but I’m sure you’ll say something that makes me sound like I’m a “crazy” person because you’re an entitled male that walks around thinking sexual assault doesn’t happen that often. Good for you. Must be nice to walk down the street or go into a bar or give someone a hug or go to work without a male grabbing you or cat calling you or flat out pushing you into a wall and raping you. But sure… I’ll relax… because you told me to….
I'm in agreement with the women here. Safety first.
FWIW, I don't think any of us have a problem with massage itself. The problem is with complete strangers offering us massage within their first few messages to us. Folks who do that usually don't turn out to have platonic intentions.
@Sheena123 ok sorry I was a bit fool you made it very clear how dangerous that could be for women because I'm a man I don't know that much about the danger women could face i know a bit but not as much as women do thanks for your beautiful comment by explaining you just thought me some awareness how dangerous can go, evil exists excuse my ignorance 🙏 and I always have this question in my mind why women don't meet men quickly it has to take time to meet? Because they want to be comfortable and save but men straight away they don't want to even know whats your name ? We always learn. Regards
@squeakytoy you said The problem is with the complete strangers offering us massage within their first few messages to us. Those are just idiots and ofcourse you are already aware of danger but the real danger comes from the ones you trust they are clever enough to trap a woman. They can be very patient to commit their crimes.
@Ahmedali999 thank you for understanding 🌸 I’m always open for massages with people I trust but strangers makes it really difficult to know whether you’re good or not
💚❤ it's not about understanding you did thought me something maybe others as well also I'm the type of guy who like to meet women very quickly without knowing them properly then I wonder why they don't want meet me because of their safety i always have this kind of questions I'm not good at dating i failed more then 20 times I understand women must feel comfortable and safe .regards
I enjoy giving and receiving massages, and have advertised on various sites (not this one) for a massage exchange. I've always made it crystal clear that it's NOT intended to lead to sex ('cause I know that's what everyone thinks). Sadly, there seem to be very few women interested in "intermediate" forms of touching--they either want the full-on sensual experience or they want nothing to do with you.
I have to say I'm sorry that I thought I understood what women had to go through, but I didn't understand nearly to what degree they have to be on guard. I truly am humbled. I'll do my best to listen more. 🏳️
It means a lot to me when people are willing to open up and understand others perspectives. It means so much. Thank you 😊
@Sheena123 ❤💚 you are wise,patient,and clever,polite if you didn't explain it deep or that way i was still going to argue with members here till 1 year 🤣 by the way you in the US unfortunately i would like to meet people like you so I learn from them I'm just a human sometimes I have wrong though or opinion look the attacks I'm getting here i wish people be like you
@Ahmedali999 I live 6 months in Canada and 6 months in Florida. I go back and forth 😊 I’ve had plenty of times where I wasn’t patient at all but I talk with my brothers and a lot of male friends of mine and even though this abuse is very obvious to women, when I talk with my male family and friends, they honestly don’t realize what we go through so I try to understand their perspective.
@Sheena123 well said God bless you
@Sheena123 i have 4 brothers and have been surrounded by men whilst growing up I was the baby sister of the group , when I grew up and talked to all of them about what we go through they were literally 😳 They just live I think obliviously. But conversation definitely helps. They also now pay more attention and listen to all the women in their lives & around.
@UCpaaHVg6u0 its nice that you’re willing to listen to what we go through. We need more open conversation with men and no more hush hush talk.
I think all the women here will agree that we are tired of being groped, touched without permission. Just keep your hands and feet to yourself! Educate yourselves about consent, I have a sin and I’m constantly reminding him of this. If we say NO we mean NO!! That means stop!!
@MaullySterling Thank you. Also, your name made me grin, but I have an ursine sense of humor...
And I see both sides of this argument but this is why I firmly believe we should get to know the person we intend to cuddle beforehand
"...but the real danger comes from the ones you trust they are clever enough to trap a woman. They can be very patient to commit their crimes."
True... patient, perfidious, all around disingenuous ~ It's astounding anyone trusts anyone at all.
☝🏼Breaks my heart! Because it’s so true!
@quixotic_life and @Melomaniac9
I know that I must earn trust every day, every interaction.
Trust is a terribly complicated and fragile thing.
It is also why it’s so important to do the work and find out who we really are.
I can only be my authentic self, can only be honest about who I am and what I want, and must be open about that.
That way, I really can’t break someone’s trust in me.
The worst that can happen is that I break their internal expectations of me, but if they’ve known me long enough, and are equally honest with themselves, that is very rare as well.
Some of the men here are not making themselves look good.
If numerous women say men bringing up massage prior to or during cuddling sessions is a red flag because it’s been used as a thinly veiled attempt at seduction way too many times by way too many men, men should shut up and listen and not try to trivialize our experience or make excuses or twist it into something about professional massage therapy.
Smart men pay attention and go oh, maybe I didn’t think of that but I can see how it might scare some women away and so I’ll make sure I’ve established a really good, safe relationship first and just set that aside.
Thank you to the men who get it. You know who you are.
For those that don’t, this is another example of why men have a hard time getting women to cuddle with them. All the men end up having to pay for the sins of the clueless, the willfully ignorant, and the predators.
@Melomaniac9 put it well: we’re tired of being groped, touched without permission. Don’t do it. Period. Ever.
I give give therapeutic sessions part time, but my shirt stays on. Sometimes I wish I could take it off, it's so dang hot here and the a.c. sucks...