@MCcuddles2: Well, you know how it is....
"What the kid is doing by paying for bread rolls is not only establishing clear communication to the baker what his expectations are, but also adding value to the baker by investing in her and the experience that he expects from her.
"And the baker is doing the same, expecting clear boundaries and a clear relationship status, which shall not be violated. This provides more safety for the baker that is paid than for the enthusiast baker that is not, in my opinion, because the kid is forced to add value to the relationship which he pays for, than the one he does not."
Because a provider/client relationship can easily get out of hand when the client thinks they're buying the baker (or a relationship with the baker), not the bread.
@quixotic_life:
One of the upsides of having been raised by fundamentalist Christians, I guess, is that it's easy for me to spot outrages even when they're generally ignored and accepted—part of leaving Christianity, for me, was learning to see the hidden, acceptable outrages.
The trick is often in switching nouns—it might be acceptable for a wife to be treated a certain way, but a friend? Never! So, for example:
"There are a few cultures which traditionally require a man to pay his friend's parents money for them. This does not mean that his friend is a piece of property. It means that it costs him something to hang out with them, so he values them more, therefore, he treats them better. I treat a very expensive car much better than I do a $500 beater."
Once the man and the other person are equals, the outrage becomes obvious.
"What, I have to pay money to someone else for the privilege of spending time with a friend? You think I wouldn't value our relationship unless I gave their parents money? Do you really think I'm the kind of person who would abuse my friend? They're my friend!"
Friendship isn't a service. Love isn't a service. You can buy cuddles, bread rolls, therapy, chess lessons, massages, whatever—but friendship, if it comes, comes free.
@Melomaniac9 you can lough till tommorrow is not going to effect me
And that's a wrap. There are no winners here.