Improving your cuddling experience?

Sweetandsnug

I'm curious (and I'm sure many pro-cuddlers are too) to hear from folks about what would improve your cuddling experiences with pros?

The best input I could give a pro about cuddling with a customer would be this:  Cuddling is so personal and so intimate to many of us, that we want to feel a real, meaningful, and personal connection.  For at least me, the thought of paying for this automatically puts my guard up that this connection may either be faked by the pro, or never really even established to begin with.  So, if I were a pro, that is where my concentration would be -- making sure my clients know I am connected to them and the time we would spend together means more than a paycheck to me.

I always ask my pros what they like and how they like to be touched and held. Although they'll all tell you, most are more concerned about what you like. I would love if pros were more forward about what they like. My philosophy has always been, a happy pro will make for a happy client.

@bruin_alum When we feel connections with pros, I honestly feel that it's genuine. We as clients however have to accept that the connection is in the moment and then we have to let it go. I'm always grateful for a beautiful cuddle session and experience.

titania

Hi @Sweetandsnug,

I recently read the book of The 5 Love Languages and I came up with this idea, about how fulfilling it would be if you can do something that your partner like the most based on their love languages. This book is actually to help married couple to enrich their relationship, but I think it could be applied to friends as well, or even to people in general.

So in practice, you can ask what is their love language and do that to improve the cuddling experience. Take me as an example, I like cuddling but my primary love language is quality time. It means that even if I have a nice cuddle buddy, but if he is as quiet as stone then the cuddling won't be as fulfilling compare to if I have a cuddle buddy who'd like to have a conversation with me while cuddling.

Other people could have words of affirmation as their primary love language, so it means that by saying nice things such as giving compliments or telling how grateful you are to have them as your cuddle partner will bring the cuddle experience up to higher level.

Just my thoughts. I am not a professional, by the way

Mailleweaver

I would definitely recommend that book (or one of its variations) to anyone who hasn't read it. It was written by Gary Chapman, by the way.

The only problem with the idea of doing something extra for a cuddle buddy according to their love language is that if they're paying for cuddles or have found this site by searching for a way to fill a need for touch, then their primary love language is very likely going to be touch. You could find out their secondary or tertiary love language to boost the experience some, though.

docgatorb

@https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/titania  That sounds more like a tool used by married couples and is moving away from the idea of simple touch and cuddling as a fulfilling activity in of itself and moving in the direction of relationship building. Probably a nice book, but like discussing the children's future or the next vacation without the kids. Although music and such may bring the experience to a higher level, I personally would keep conversation to a minimum.

titania

@docgatorb, have you read the book?

If you have read the book completely, then you will see that there is actually a bigger impact of speaking love languages for the society rather than just for married couples.

There is always a reason of why people coming to this website. I know a guy who is married and still looking for cuddling with strangers, simply because he doesn’t get enough from his wife. In this term it might not be considered as cheating, it’s just a way to fulfill the emotional needs. I know another guy who becomes grumpy if he doesn’t cuddle. And I know someone who can’t concentrate working until her cuddling dose is filled. So I do believe that we are actually seeking something deeper than merely physical. It is the emotional part that people need the most, and cuddling is just one way to fulfill emotional needs, through physical touches. At the end of the day, people would operate normally, work productively, and grow healthily when the emotional needs are fulfilled.

This is not about getting a cuddle buddy to be your romantic partner, it’s about giving the person an emotional fulfillment. Even a simple act like having meal has a purpose of continuing life, then how can cuddle not having such purpose beyond what it appears to be?

If giving compliment to the cuddle buddy who’s primary love language is words of affirmation can give a more meaningful cuddle and make him/her happier, then I don’t see the reason of not doing that. The same case for having conversation.

Yet again, everyone has different preferences. It might be that quality time is just not your first or second or even third love languages, as I understand that many people have that tendency too.