@MonkeyNeedsAHug
... except that he starts off the post with "women" and "females" so it's very clear what he meant.
@frace95 I believe that a life constantly lived in fear and closing ourselves off from a chance to make good connections is a life wasted. So I encourage you to enjoy your life as much as you can in the ways you feel safest.
"Like, these incidents have definitely got me to rethink about overnight sessions, and to not opt into any so I don’t end up with the utmost kind of assault possible, that can really mess up the rest of my life emotionally and financially."
Overnight sessions would take even greater deal of trust for me. And it's likely something I'd only or primarily want to do with someone I'm in a relationship with. Someone who I know quite well and with whom I've formed a great deal of trust with. One of my concerns about doing overnight with more people is also the increased chance and the potential of having to deal with parasomnias, which I may not have the means to deal with should I have to. Along with just feeling a lot more vulnerable.
@ernesto_2 Sorry the title is sub-par, I was having a hard time thinking of one and I gave up after that one. Edit: I’ve learned that I can edit the title. Edit 2: I’ve learned that doing so resets the poll
@CuddleWho , I am very sorry for what the mods did to you. One thing that also happened in this site is that in a place where different websites have there reviews, a female mentioned that two guys have been making inappropriate requests in the cuddle session, she reported them, and then they suspended her account! This is unbelievable. I would mention her name, but I don’t know if she would feel uncomfortable if she makes another account here and was to read this with her name on it.
Another horrible situation against a male that happened (not in this site) is that he mentioned he was in middle school, and a girl randomly flashed her chest at him! He said that the assistant principal saw it and that she lied to the assistant principal that he coerced her into doing that and the assistant principal believed her! I forget what was the punishment and his father thought that the girl wasn’t lying, but he told the assistant principal to check the video cameras, and he did, and although his father believed him (not the assistant principal) after checking the cameras, the assistant principal did not! Typical prejudices and terrible incidents guys can unexpectedly and suddenly come across that can destroy their lives forever!
In another situation, a boy got groped by a girl in middle school in Portland, Oregon according to a review for the school district, and the school did nothing! That is absolutely insane, disgusting, and horrifying how insane these double standards can become!
In the last situation, here, a girl in a middle school or high school in North Carolina was being sexually harassed and sexually assaulted by a boy in the bathroom! She called the police and the school suspended her for one day because they blindly believed that she was making that thing up and that she made a false accusation. I wouldn’t be surprised if that kid’s father, uncle, etc works in the school and happens to back him up blindly! Of course, this isn’t a prejudice against a male, but if females are neglected this much, imagine the males who happen to come across crazy incidents as well! I can’t believe how behind the world is in these issues in 2021! It would be tough to imagine how 1921 was, let alone 1821! Hopefully in 2121, people by then will have common sense!
Here is the Deal. You placed yourself in that possibility of a situation from the start. If that bothers you, then cuddling is not for you. I for one would be grateful for ANY attention at all. Just my two cents.
Sexual assault is NEVER okay and suggesting that it is will get you muted if it happens again. - Babichev
I had this happening with an enthusiast, unfortunately. We had several cuddling sessions, and each time the contact was getting a little different. I wasn't offended, but I suspected that she started developing something more than just a platonic relationship - and that our cuddling would stop. Right or not on my assumption, it stopped.
@MikeyJ2021
Gross. While I'm sure you'd be happy to have someone, anyone, grope you , some people use this service for platonic therapeutic services as intended, not to get sexually assaulted. Would you say this if the OP was a female?
Yea, it’s sad to know that there are still people in 2021 that still think men can’t get sexually assaulted by women… pathetic. It can happen and it does happen. The men on this thread have bared their souls and some of you guys are shitting all over it. Pathetic…
@MikeyJ2021 if you are seeking the opportunity for sexual advances during a cuddle session, this is NOT the place for you.
As a victim of sexual abuse, I think it's abhorrent that you'd suggest someone puts themselves in a position to receive unwanted sexual attention.
.
@MikeyJ2021 "Here is the Deal. You placed yourself in that possibility of a situation from the start. If that bothers you, then cuddling is not for you. I for one would be grateful for ANY attention at all. Just my two cents."
WHAT THE H ARE YOU ON ABOUT?!
I'm not sure if you're straight up trolling and choosing to be deranged, though either way what you said is unacceptable. Victim blaming is a big part of the problem! Virtually nobody is going around saying "I'd like some cuddles... AND COULD I GET A SIDE OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, AND MAYBE MURDER? IF YOU GOT THAT INSTOCK?" So NO he did not put himself in that situation, he was put in it. He was assaulted.
And anyone who ever does say something like that, I'd question their mental health and try to get them some help or advise them to seek it for their wellbeing because that's no way to live. And if you are serious about what you said, a part of me feels for you that you are probably so deprived of genuine, consensual and respectful human connection that you're willing to be abused just to experience something. Again, that in NO way* is his fault or the fault of any victim. Victims of assault don't choose to be assaulted!
If someone can't or doesn't want to respect people's boundaries and not assault others, cuddling is not for them.
@MikeyJ2021 "I for one would be grateful for ANY attention at all. Just my two cents."
Oh, is that why your profile has only cuddling women selected? Cause male attention is attention too you know.
Gross indeed.
@Lovelight yeah they definitely seem to be admitting that they’d be fine engaging in sexual activities with women from the site with the “getting any kind of attention” bit on top of the victim blaming awfulness.
@Travismo Thank you again for sharing (being vulnerable) and leading to discussion of many topics. On this thread there has definitely been many men that mentioned experiences of being exposed to unwanted advances by women. Definitely been victim blaming/shaming going on by others too. I agree with @Zundar. I find that in life keeping and open mind/empathic perspectives can be beneficial. To all on this thread whether you experienced misconduct by women or not, the truth is many were effective negatively by it. Let’s try to create a safe space on this site for those affected instead of trying to minimize, invalidate or rationalize thier pain, by those whose views and needs are different.
@frace95 he reported her already. The conversation he and I had took place in person, so I dont have any extra evidence apart from what he has already told them. She has loads of good karma. I have no evidence so not sure what I would report other than another "I heard this"
If his initial report didn't get her taken down, I don't see what my 2nd hand account could do.
I guess I will though... maybe it will mean more coming from another person.
Hearsay isn’t grounds for action. The individual referred to has not had any complaints filed against them. There is a record of complaints filed even if they are dismissed. Either there has been some miscommunication regarding who the offender is or else a complaint was never filed. In either case, you might want to get back with that client about it. - Babichev
It hasn't happened to me at all.........if someone pushes boundaries they will get reported....most pros. don't want that.....
When I read this thread title I think of how many women sign up for this site without platonic intentions then leave within a few days leaving others to think they were ran off due to an overloaded inbox of messages . A women will read the TOS and think oh I can’t even kiss the guy well she signs up anyway , looks through the men profiles then quits the site .
Of course there’ll be that one guy complaining about a girl being inappropriate lol
Excuse me? Are you laughing at sexual assault? Because if you are you’re begging for time out. - Babichev
Imagine hiring someone to have bodily contact with, and then reporting that same person for initiating body contact. 😂
@SilenceMe consensual touch is different from nonconsentual touch. You do know the difference, right?
I applaud you for having the courage to ask hard questions. While I have not had a female get frisky for lack of better words, I have had males be that way. Cuddling can be a very intimate act, in my opinion even more so than sex. With that being said we are all human and some can’t handle the act of cuddling without acting out inappropriately at times. From my experience pros are more controlled than the average enthusiast, excluding the ones that are sex workers hiding on the site. As a pro when I feel like a client is getting to be too much I have what are called cool down positions where it is relaxing but not intimate. The mama bear and papa bear pose is a good one. Where the one who is getting frisky goes into the mama bear position until they cool down. This typically works 99% of the time. Most that are getting frisky don’t really mean to they just can’t handle it. If they don’t then end the session. If they are overly aggressive then end it immediately. A cuddle partner should always be respectful and ask before doing anything, but in the event they don’t, be verbal about it, if they still do not listen then they do not respect you. If they do not respect you then the cuddle is pointless. If you have any questions, if I can be of any assistance please feel free to reach out to me.
@SilenceMe A bank leaving its doors open and unlocked during business hours is not to be considered permission to enter the vault.
There are a lot of reasons why people want to have touch and specifically want that touch to be non-sexual. Those are the people that this site was designed for. There are other sites for people with other interests.
@SilenceMe You might want to read the TOS. You hire people here for platonic contact, not sexual contact.
Oh goody, another man who thinks sexual assault is fine…. Awesome…..
@frace95 , has it occurred to you that the person who was suspended after making a report was suspended for reasons that had nothing to do with making a report? More than once I’ve responded to a report and found the person was an untagged pro charging money without having a pro account or was a pro who was circumventing the booking system. Another reason they might get suspended is that they are a pro and their account is bouncing and it has zero connection to them making a report. The only reason I’m aware of that would cause someone to be suspended for making a report would be that they filed a false report and even then they usually only get a warning unless it’s really egregious. I would be very suspicious of anyone who claimed they were suspended for reporting misbehavior.
@cuddlerforu24 - Have you surveyed all these women who leave within a few days to determine what were their reasons? Or do you have some special gift of mind reading that the rest of us lack? Jump to conclusions without any evidence much?
@SilenceMe - If you can’t understand the terms of service and consent, then perhaps you’re in the wrong place.
Fundamental to platonic cuddling is consent. No exceptions ever. If the victim blaming continues this thread will be shut down.
It appears that a few people have difficulty understanding the concept of consent which is a bit worrying. If you’re having trouble understanding consent - evidenced by lack of compassion and understanding for the OP - then perhaps this brief video will help.
I'm not going to lie, in exploring the space of professional cuddling, I thought about side deals being made. Also, when I talked to my friends about it, this is the first thing they brought up; "what if the woman you hire plays you to pay for more?"
I'm sorry for the backlash for men being honest and women whom were also assaulted.
I just don’t understand why there are still men who laugh at other men getting assaulted by women?! Like, just because you’re so thirsty to get touched that you think unwanted advances is fine, check yourself. Some of you men may be pigs and think that any touch is awesome and men are willing to receive any touch from a woman, but open your eyes. There are men out there who genuinely want a platonic (since you don’t know this word: it means NON SEXUAL) connection and can absolutely be taken advantage of sexually. Just because some of you may take any and all physical touch, doesn’t mean other men are like you. Don’t be gross…. End the stigma and start caring about men who get hurt sexually. Most of you guys say it can’t be sexual assault because they are big and strong and can overpower the woman. Don’t 👏 be 👏 gross👏 Maybe they don’t want to hurt them back while stopping them. Maybe the woman made the move quickly. Even a quick grab on a guys manhood when he didn’t consent is assault. Start caring about the men around you when they actually want to open up and express themselves.
@babichev basically what you are saying is that can’t possible be a reason for women departures . Yes ? No ?