Transgender Pros

Should transgender pro cuddlers on cuddle comfort be required to identify themselves as transgender? 

jeanpierre

Yes

I am born and raised in Los Angeles and I am very accepting of all people. I know that there are two transgender pros in Los Angeles. One states that in her profile but the other doesn't. I made this post in hopes that people who chime in and say that yes although we support everyone, our transgender friends should state that they are. My concern is the safety of the cuddler. Not everyone is as accepting as many of us are and this pro may show up to the home of someone who isn't accepting and find themselves in a dangerous situation. I would never want to see anyone hurt. Just my opinion.

Mark

As a general rule I would say pros should be offering as much information about themselves as possible. 

We will have more gender options soon but in the meantime I would recommend everyone, not just professionals, offer comprehensive profiles. Everyone has cuddle preferences and we shouldn't necessarily judge those preferences. Some prefer gay women, some don't care but prefer those who are asexual and there are those who prefer various gender identities too. In an ideal world all the men here would be cuddling with each other but it is what it is.

CarlosHunt

Yes absolutely!!!!!  Why would anyone want to "hide" their true sexual identity?

True story - I did Grand Jury Duty a while back and one of the cases presented to the Jury was of a transexual who appeared to be a woman went on a few casual dates with a guy who thought she was a woman.  When rubber finally hit the road (pun intended) when the guy found out that the "she" was really a pre-op "he", the situation turned very nasty.

Honesty is the best policy.

Mark, thank you. 

I hope you can make the additional gender options available soon. 

With the current system there could easily be confusion, when using the search feature as an example, since a person would need to include additional info about their gender in the about me section. 

What I would recommend as a transgender woman, would be to actually add another section relating to sex / assigned sex at birth / biological sex,  consisting of the options: Male, Female, Intersex. 

And another section on Gender consisting of the options: Man, Woman, Transgender Man, Transgender Woman, Duel-Spirit, Agender, Gender Fluid,  ( a longer list here could possibly be produced, ) 

@mark thank you for that

greenearth2

I would want to know.

docgatorb

I feel that I would need to be better informed as to what each term means. It's more what gender that the member identifies as rather how they got to that point. The Cuddle Party facilitator that I know doesn't ask gender, instead she asks which rest room do you use, the men's or the woman's.

I brought this topic up not as a matter of acceptance etc I brought it up because of safety concerns. There are safety concerns involved in general with cuddling and meeting strangers. As I said in my comment above, not all people are as accepting of the same things that others are. I was brought up and live in a very diverse community and have friends of all colors, religions etc and it's hard for me to believe that things even such as racism still exist.

docgatorb

@Morpheus When you are coming from a place of diversity, it is a bit hard to remember that the rest of the world  might not be there. I'm not patting myself on the back since I see how far I still have to go. Cuddling puts all of this in the foreground since it's about letting your guard down, especially with strangers. Open communication becomes essential and yet there are plenty of descriptions in these forums where communication has failed. Some of the discussions are inspiring and others make you wonder where things are going. This is a new frontier where we are challenged to do things in an ever changing world. As an optimist, I believe that we will get there although I don't really know where 'there' is.

CarlosHunt

I don't think this issue is about diversity ..it's about honesty.

If someone wants to be a transexual ..then God bless them ..... But If I'm a man, and i want to cuddle with a woman, and the person advertises as a woman but is really a pre-op, then that is just a blatant lie. 

docgatorb

I feel a need for some definitions. This conversation began with the term transgender which is not the same as a pre-op. Although we could turn to the medical terms for any one of the many variations that can occur naturally without surgery, I don't think that they would mean much to the average audience. Simply stated, there are more variations than many people realize and I would refer the curious to the WHO website. As the world grows smaller, the likelihood of interacting with a greater variety of genders increases and the seemingly simple question of male or female is not as straight forward as we were brought up to believe (major religious influence here). Now with the introduction of surgical reassignment, it has become more complicated. I think that the best policy is to be forthcoming and as honest that you can be, but I also realize that this may not be the easy task as some may think. It might be easier to create a more general question asking each member to rate their acceptance of gender fluidity in their cuddle partner than to ask every member to check some box which defines their sexuality.

CarlosHunt

Transgender not pre-op I stand corrected, thanks.  Still my point is about being honest, to avoid nasty in person confrontations.

docgatorb

Agreed, honesty is the best practice.

Just wanted to add another potential perspective on this of some reasons why someone might choose not to include info about being Transsexual, Intersex or Transgender in a profile here .. and basically one of the more common reason I would think would be to avoid discrimination.

It is a bit of a large expectation for people to expose themselves to discrimination or even potential discrimination, when being transsexual, intersex, or transgender should really not have much of an impact or make much of a difference when just cuddling a person. 
If clothes are not coming off and they can pass as whatever sex is stated in their profile, it's kind of to their own discretion and probably how comfortable they are with that particular cuddle partner. 
With a Pro the same thing would really apply, is a Pro expected to willingly have less clients by stating their status in a profile .. and then bear the full cost of whatever discrimination might be out there? When their sex and gender should really have no impact on their professional ability as a cuddler.

@Kai_kudls plenty of guys out there like transgenders, why not just be honest and get paid.

I have plenty of TG friends on dating sites(yes I know this isn't a dating site) who openly express they are TG in their profiles.  It's a respectful heads-up and keeps them out of danger. 

There are plenty of women on sites who don't like short guys. Or Black guys. Or short Black guys.  Direct correlation to this matter? No. But it's a matter of preference.  Heck I cuddled with a non-Pro TG last week because I liked her vibe.

I don't see how hiding this information would be beneficial for a TG Pro or her client.

Agree with @choco I feel like this thread went in a way different direction than I meant it to go which is cool but my main concern is the safety of the transgender pro. Regardless of what everyone's opinion of how things should be is, there are people out there that don't like certain types of people and it's unfortunate. 

I posted this thread awhile back. I'm commenting again because I have seen a few transgender pros pop up recently. I am born and raised in Los Angeles and support all walks of life so long and no one is hurting anyone. I posted what I did because I feel there are valid safety concerns involved. Sadly not everyone is open minded and accepting as others may be. I would still like to see a drop down for transgender on profiles and or think they should mention this in their profile or at the very least, make it clear to potential clients.

Ninsiana

I am a transwoman and I simply do not state I am trans in the About Me section, strictly to avoid discrimination. I want someone first get a non-prejudice impression of me, beforehands, before I reveal I am transgender. Because I do respect honesty and above all, safety. With so many murders of trans women on the news, so far this year, it can be scary and I want to clarify that I am trans with a potential client before an appointment is made.
Though I do want to state one thing @CarlosHunt that I may be trans, but am just as much of a woman as any other, and all trans-women are. We are not lying that we are a woman. Just wanted to clarify

@rei...thank you for sharing that. Sorry to hear about the discrimination. I'm glad you got it out there. We welcome everyone to the cuddle site. There is someone for everyone here .

@rei thank you for sharing

Ninsiana

No worries @masterofcuddle and @Morpheus, always willing to share as much as I can. But it is the sad truth that stating one is trans can make oneself a target. When I was dating on OKCupid, I stated in my profile I am a transwoman, and most people were kind, others were "tranny chasers", and some were hateful bigots.