@mickcuddle Ive noticed in the last 6 new women joined pro or nonpro in my area 4 of them the profile was scant, there is vague details on hosting capability or price age range or preferences to clearly understand if there is a fit. In joining i think there needs certain preferences that have to be filled out- deemed necessary. This may alleviate some of the onslaught of requests, maybe a Blurb saying limited preferences-saying read profile first before messaging.
Another idea is limit amount of received messages so a newbie isnt overwhelmed by receiving 50 Messages day 1 just as a newbie is limited on how many people they could message initially, and only increase based on time and usage to site. Increase it slowly . This may make it less profitable for those abusing the site to get their number or info out there for clients before they banned.
I've been meaning to suggest that a yellow heart be added to the emoticons in the text editor for both messaging and the forum.
@happybear - what happens to all the messages that have been sent that cannot be delivered because the limit has been reached?
No surprise, the vast majority of the profiles have the same trifecta: Straight, Single, ISO Women to cuddle. Not too different from massage.
My profile identifies me as Gay, SIngle, Men. I reached out to someone with what I thought would be a potential connection, only to receive the very curt message "Bro, no homo". If this is to be truly platonic with umpteen ways to be banned permanently, what does orientation have to do with this site?
It sounds like the vicious stereotype that all gay men want to "deflower" straight men...and boys. Nope, I'm a gay man who wants to cuddle platonically with men close to my age.
Nothing more, nothing less.
@Drew64 I am sorry first of all for that persons response to you and I hope you reported them to Mark or Reurbo. There are unfortunately those on here who are looking to hook up, and as you are very well aware, there are those who are simply idiotic bigots. That being said, I feel that regardless of whether or not it is platonic in nature, there is still gong to need to be the person level of comfort taken into consideration, I personally feel completely fine with hugging and hanging out with men, however I prefer to not be too up close and intimate with a man, such as long embraces, massaging, hand holding, stroking hair, etc, which is much of what is involved with cuddling, even when platonic in nature. To have this preference does not mean I am afraid of as you put it being "deflowered". I have a couple of gay friends who feel the same about cuddling people of the opposite sex, just their personal comfort level as well. I sincerely hope you do not see it as a slight against you, or as feeling rejected. Good luck and I hope this site is kind to you and that you are able to find what you need.
@Drew64 I am wondering if there is not a way to set your search parameters for people who are seeking to cuddle men, or who cuddle both? Perhaps some other members can chime in on this and give suggestions on how to better streamline things.
@Drew64 and @pmvines - even if you use the search facility, don't people check out the profiles of the matches that come up? The profiles I've seen specify they either cuddle everyone, only men or only women. I don't think it's advisable to message someone who preferences exclude you, whether it is who they cuddle, age preferences or anything else. I certainly would never do it. Of course, there is no guarantee that a person's stated preferences really mean what they say. 'Everyone' does not really mean everyone, and lack of an age preference does not mean they don't have an age preference.
@UKGuy , I guess I haven't thought that through, but if it trickles to them slowly, the one sending it wouldn't know the difference, or to those sending it maybe would receive a notification saying it was sent but that they are new and message flow to them limited until they get acclimated to the site.
I've noticed on search filters like Gender and Orientation that the highlights are really super light. Its really hard to read if a filter is on or not. Is there a way to make filter highlighted darker when I click on a filter?
@Morpheus thanks for the links I will bookmark the one that displays my comments as I have yet to be the OP on any thread.
Sorry I haven't read through all of the posts to see if someone already expressed this, but I feel that Professional cuddlers should not be allowed on here. I feel professional cuddlers are taking advantage of people who are without the basic human need of touch. So many of us are touch deprived in this day and age and if you want or need someone to cuddle with then you shouldn't want to have to make money from it. It is supposed to be a mutual process, so to me a professional cuddle is someone who is fake and does not really need someone to cuddle with, but only taking advantage of someone who does.
@tsh003 - you could say the same thing about anyone who provides a service for a fee. You don't have to hire a pro if you don't want to. But if the pros all disappeared, you would not see any increase in non-pros. The pros do help keep this website running since they contribute toward the costs.
@tsh003 they have every bit a right to be here as you do . You don't have to agree or approve of it , but don't make blanket statements that amount to character assassination. You dont have to utilize their services, however there are many who do and are fine with and benefit from it . I myself don't utilize their services, but I have grown to know many of them personally and they are lovely people, and I support them and appreciate their presence here and what they do for those who utilize them . You can hire them or not, whatever you choose , however it is nice to have choices and to be able to hire them if you choose to.
@tsh003 there are some that take advantage but there are also many that are pretty amazing. I have had far more great stories about pros than I do negative ones. I’m outspoken about things I feel are wrong especially things such as overly priced session but personally with five years of experience seeing pro cuddlers, the experience overall has been awesome.
@tsh003 The site founder @Mark is actually very sensitive to the issue of professionals and enthusiasts sharing the same site.
Mark said in his interview:
Many people who join now don't realise that the professional side of things came about spontaneously. A few years after the website's inception, I started to notice a rapidly growing number of independent professional cuddlers joining the website to find clients. That was an issue because much of the community seemed only interested in the social aspect. As a community we discussed how best to solve this.
The options before us were either putting resources into a constant policing effort of only allowing non-pros to join, or embracing the professionals in a way that helped fund the website and with enough discretion as to avoid bothering those with no interest. We went with the latter option and in doing so offered a unique alternative for professionals who were thus far limited to being directly managed by agencies that typically took around half their earnings. I think this has also proven to be a net benefit to the community as a whole due to the integration and diversity of opinion from social members, clients and professionals.
Personally I am extremely grateful that professionals are allowed on here. I have not found them to be the way you describe them at all: "taking advantage of people who are without the basic human need of touch". I am very aware of when anyone is trying to manipulate, use or take advantage of me, and none of the professionals I've seen have been like that.
You said: "It is supposed to be a mutual process." Well, that's one of the things I look for in a professional: that it's a two way thing! Someone who doesn't enjoy being cuddled is in the wrong job.
Some more thoughts on paid cuddlers being genuine here.
As a pro, I can focus all my energy on helping as many people as I can emotionally handle who come my way. If I had another job, I would only likely have the mental energy and time to help one person, if that. My being genuine is the same in either case, but I am able to help a lot more people this way. It is an absolute honor to be able to help so many different people find comfort and acceptance for a period of time.
This being my work allows me to go from caring about someone experiencing a lack of connection straight to thinking I could help instead of just caring about that person, feeling sad, and hoping they find a solution. There is only so much time in a day, and I only have so much mental energy. Another line of work would take a lot of both away from possibly helping people in this way. This is just my view and feelings though.
@GameStriker4481 I agree, it's not entirely clear. It's been changed as part of the next update which will likely be deployed next week.
@Mark Thanks, also is there a way to add a search filter based off of Pro prices (the ones stated in the gray area on their profile). I don't know if I mentioned it before (I do remember someone mentioning this as well). I think it would be great for people to sort through pros if they are on a budget.
There is a plan for price indicators within the results themselves. I'll keep a search filter under consideration.
I'm just a little weary of putting too much focus on price when you consider all the variables.
@Mark I agree. Pros could just skirt around it by putting in the cheapest hourly possible and then putting more details in their profile, in order to show up in more results. Better to try to keep that indicator the honest hourly for a typical 1-2 hour session, if possible. Or if you want a categorical indicator, could display $, $$, $$$? But I'm not sure about that. I think it's definitely good to show both something about rate and review count / stars in the results, not just one of those. Roll out both at same time, if at all feasible...
I have the same concerns as you. And yes, reviews and price would be rolled out at the same time.
@Mark Oh also is there a way to make the distance filter in increments of 5 (so it would go 5 mi., 10 mi., 15 mi., rather than 5 mi. then straight to 20 mi.) or have an option to type the distance yourself. I feel giving more options on the search filter will make it a lot easier for people to find cuddlers in a more specific range that they can travel in.
Is the site really slow lately or is it just me?
@Morpheus It's not you. Been driving me up the wall.
Yeah. It's been really slow.
I've rebooted the server as a precaution and will investigate.
When do you think this probably started happening? Has it suddenly got worse over last day or been an issue for longer?
For the past few days. It would simply take a long time for a page to load. Other times it would have a message saying "Please wait..." but then nothing would happen and you would have to refresh your screen. I don't recall it getting worse. It just started being slow one day.
I thought it was me and my country internet, but it was only an issue in the forums on my computer (didn't really notice on my phone or with other pages). The forum just wouldn't load sometimes. Might be different than what they're talking about though...
Yeah, I have the same problem as well.
Thanks everyone for your feedback!
This appears to be a performance issue with recent updates to the Search functionality. This is causing CPU spikes which affect the entire website. Some improvements have been deployed today with more planned next week.
In the meantime, I've added additional hardware resources to help alleviate the pressure. What's good is I can see this problem occurring live via hardware monitoring so I'll keep an eye on it.