Do sensual cuddles come under the umbrella of platonic cuddling?

KozyKim

When I think of platonic cuddling I think of any kind of cuddling I would do with a friend if they would comply. If I try to be sensual with my guy friends, they would be pissed. I give them hugs. But if I try being sensual towards them they would be weirded out. So why do people always ask me for sensual cuddling. But I do notice a lot of good professional pros actually put that in their profile sometimes. And a lot of the profile pictures seem very sensual and seductive to me. But I’m just wanting to give nice loving friendship cuddles. I would say that my cuddling is very intimate and close like you would someone that you loved very much. But it’s not sensual in anyway. Is this just some kind of unspoken thing? I’ve been known to stir the pot and ask questions that’s part of my personality? I’d like what @CuddleDuncan said one time, when he was explaining what a cuddle session should be like? He said it should be like cuddling your favorite aunt:)😬😬😬

BashfulLoner

I’m not sure I’d know how to give a sensual platonic cuddle.

TheFunCartel

Sensual does not mean sexual but the term has come to be sexualized. So if someone mentions sensual I would ask them what their definition of sensual is. A sensual experience once meant something that engages the senses. Now it sometimes means engaging the genitals.

KozyKim

@BashfulLoner that’s exactly what I’m saying. If one of my friends said hey Kim let’s cuddle and watch a movie, he surely wouldn’t be saying let’s get sensual. To me sensual is just trying to turn someone on.

KozyKim

@FunCartel you may have some thing there, but when I look up the word it’s just a more romantic form of sexual.

KozyKim

https://puredhamma.net/dhamma/buddha-dhamma-a-scientific-approach/sensual-pleasures-the-hidden-suffering/

@FunCartel Is this what you mean, maybe I’m understanding you better now. Thanks for chiming in. But for me it’s still kind of leads in that direction if it’s taken too far

sillysassy

@FunCartel it does seem like the MEANING of words can change over time doesn’t it. 😂😂😂

engaging the senses vs. engaging the genitals

BashfulLoner

I guess words mean things and then words. Mean. Things.

KozyKim

What are some other words for sensual?
sensual
• carnal.
fleshly,
luscious,
lush,
sensuous.
voluptuous.
httos://www.merriam-webster.com
29 Synonyms of SENSUAL Merriam-Webster
Thesaurus
More results
What is the word sensual means?
Definition of sensual
1: relating to or consisting in the gratification of the
senses or the indulgence of appetite : fleshly. 2 : sensory
sense 1. 3a : devoted to or preoccupied with the senses or
appetites. b : voluptuous. c: deficient in moral, spiritual, or
intellectual interests : worldly especially:

I also found this on this😬😝

TheFunCartel

Sensual experiences used to mean something as harmless as feeding someone a food or tracing lines down someone’s arm with fingernails. I would quantify it as sensory play. They even had schools of psychological theories on this in the 1960s and as a child in California my mother took me to one run by a legitimate psychiatry practice that specialized in behavior. The idea was to see what you did and didn’t respond to and how. I was 7. This is how far from some of its meanings the word has been corrupted.

And no I wasn’t sensually deflowered at 7 you pervs.

KozyKim

@FunCartel Well even if it means that and I’m sure it did back in the day I doubt that anyone that’s asking me for a sensual Cuddles is meaning that. I should look up that study from the 60s and learn about it and when someone asked me for sensual cuddles I’ll do those things for my client while giving them a hug to stay true to the cuddle😬🤣

CuddleWho

This isn’t necessarily the case, and isn’t always what the word means, but IMO if a man is asking you for a “sensual” cuddle he is very likely trying to hint at a sexual request without stating it outright.

KozyKim

I guess I need to be more clear they’re either looking for a sensual or romantic Cuddles because they read over my profile and message me back and say oh yes I read over your profile and I don’t think it’s what I’m looking for. so I’m just assuming.

cde123

I would go right ahead and take a hard line on clients requesting "sensual" cuddles before the session, since that's often code for non-platonic activities. At least I would demand more details.

DaringSprinter

I'd say OP's intuition here is spot on. Given the current meaning of the word, I wouldn't cuddle anyone who wanted it to be sensual—unless they were old enough that I thought they might be using the word in its earlier sense, in which case I'd double check before turning them down.

nurturingman

I’ve heard people say things like “don’t do anything you wouldn’t do with a child / aunt / grandmother“ (or with them watching), but I don’t think that’s necessarily the definition of a platonic cuddle. I have found cuddling to be nonsexual intimate, but almost like lovemaking (certainly more like lovemaking than sex can be)— not something I would do with my aunt, grandmother, or child (or with them watching). Of course there are variations of cuddling that I would do with children or the elderly, but usually it’s different from that, yet it’s always platonic.

DaringSprinter

@nurturingman: Huh. I guess I'm a very innocent cuddler. I don't think I do anything with my cuddle buddies that even an uninformed observer would think was an attempt at turning my buddy on.

I run my hand down my buddy's arm, and remember being a kid petting the adult or other child with whom I was cuddling then.

I play with my buddy's hair, massage their scalp, and remember the time my elderly uncle was approaching autistic meltdown due to a schedule change, and how he calmed after I offered this. I remember how relaxed he became, how he smiled and laughed as I commented on his ears and hugged him from behind.

Would this look sensual (in the modern sense) from the outside? Maybe I just don't have a good idea of how other people see things.

RadiantHugs

Lot of things are wonderful sensory experiences, but almost certainly not sexual. I think sensual is the right term to describe them, but it's unfortunate how that word has been hijacked to mean foreplay of some sort.
Some examples - I personally enjoy the feeling of lightly having fingers run through my hair. It is sensual, for sure, but certainly not anything sexual or even something intended for arousal. It is simply the feeling which is amazing. Some others enjoy the feeling of having hair brushed - that classifies as sensual too but doesn't have to be sexual at all.

KozyKim

I’m out to dinner but I’m excited to read all the posts later. @DaringSprinter I would cuddle you🤗💛

Jubal

"Sensual" does not have to mean "sexual". Consider the appeal of ASMR type videos. I've had a cuddler who was very lightly scratching & massaging my scalp, and it was wonderful - I would call that 'sensual'.

DaringSprinter

@KozyKim: Aw, shucks. That's a real compliment. Thank you.

UCpaaHVg6u0

The movie Animal House has a scene where the college dean's wife encounters Otter. They are in the produce section, examining cucumbers, when Otter comments that his (cucumber) is bigger, and then proceeds to tell Mrs Wormer that he thinks vegetables are "sensuous". She then corrects him by telling him that "Vegetables are SENSUAL. People are sensuous". I'm not sure that this is actually true but for the past 40 years this scene always clicked in my mind whenever I heard either of those words used, and rightly or wrongly, I've used it as a general guideline to use those words.

I get education wherever I can find it.

OnTheJourney

I think it mostly has to do with intention. And that's something that needs discussed well in advance.

But sometimes I like to gently run my fingers along a partner's arm just as a way of knowing and honoring them. Focusing on texture, temperature, etc. Trying to see how lightly I can touch and still feel them and feel a connection with them.

I would not be doing it to prompt a romantic or sexual reaction and if that line wasn't clear enough then I would not be into touches like that with a cuddle partner.

Some people can separate and some can't. Neither way is right or wrong, it's just who you are. Everyone is different and that's a beautiful thing too.

Ironman294

@UCpaaHVg6u0 ”And if you use the word extortion again, I’ll have your legs broken!” -Mayor
“I’m sure we can find some sort of honorarium” - Dean Wormer

panda619

I like sensual. It’s a good thing

@KozyKim. I would cuddle @DaringSprinter also. Who will get to him first?

tacpmurg

I would DEFINITELY NOT consider my cuddles suitable for my aunt shudder. I am a very "whole body" cuddler/touch person.

• Light finger touches up back
• Slide hands outside thigh
• A lot of light squeezes up and down the arm
• Hands up back of neck into hair and head scritches
• Lots of leg pretzeling
• Caresses of face (if no issues with face)

Basically I like to rotate between different sensory touches: feathlight touch, gentle sequeezes, hand sliding, light massage, or head scritches. Or you know, nothing and just laying there which is a nice break to prevent sensory overload. Which is why I always ask what a cuddler is or isnt ok with and always reconfirm consent, theres a lot of touch going on.

If it's sexual, i'm doing it wrong because my pros tend to fall asleep 🤣🤣. I would certainly consider it 'sensual' though.

DaringSprinter

Hey, I've got arms for both @KozyKim and @Btown! I'm also just a little guy, so somebody else might be able to hold me in their lap for a four-person cuddle, if we want to get really fancy.

KozyKim

@tacpmurg yes I do all those things too but I don’t consider them sensual. I guess sensual in my past experience would be something that you would do to turn someone on. I honestly feel like I could cuddle in front of someone and not be embarrassed. It would be weird to have somebody watch but if there was like a camera on me and I didn’t know it and then later I found out I wouldn’t care. All they would say is wow that’s some beautiful cuddling,

tacpmurg

@KozyKim Perhaps they don't have a better word for, "Please do more than just let me hold you. I like to be caressed".

People cuddle/touch the way they want to be cuddled/touched. If a cuddler does a specific touch I tend to mimic/add it to the routine. I however find that a lot of the pros don't usually do a lot of the same touch back, which is a bit disheartening because I use pros to fill my touch meter.

Or maybe they want to get in your pants, I dunno.

KozyKim

@daringsprinter that sounds wonderful!! @Btown and I are trying to find a way to get together. I love cuddling more than one person.
I think you would probably get those sensual cuddles everybody’s talking about that aren’t really sensual we will be stroking your arm and your head and your face and looking into your beautiful eyes. Of course if you can consent to all of it💛🤣