The reason most folks don’t cuddle family and friends, assuming they are available, is that it’s just not done. It’s not socially acceptable. If it were, this website would have no reason to exist.
The word sensual may be used as a synonym for sexual but it also may be used to describe something that provides a rich sensory experience. That’s why I ask exactly what does one mean when using the term sensual when describing cuddles? Is it being used as a euphemism for sexual or something else?
@SoulParaTodos - I’ve traveled in countries where men hold hands as they are walking together. Kenya comes to mind. I always think of the time I saw two men walking down the street holding hands, one in a military uniform. That would be an unusual sight here.
@SoulParaTodos well said. Some cultures are more affectionate than others. But then again, when in Rome…. hehe
I have to disagree on cuddles being not socially acceptable. I've been in two friend groups so far where platonic cuddling was a thing, across genders, and it felt completely natural. Reading together in a teenage cuddle puddle was unexpectedly one of my favorite memories from high school. Later I was in a cuddle puddle with some friends my age working together out-of-state, and we enjoyed it so much we organized a few more. It's also not just a friends and children thing - I know a woman who still cuddles with her mom into adulthood.
Now these were platonic cuddles, not "sensual platonic" cuddles or whatever is being discussed here.
"The reason most folks don’t cuddle family and friends, assuming they are available, is that it’s just not done. It’s not socially acceptable. If it were, this website would have no reason to exist" ~ @Babichev
I don't agree. Imo, there's no replacement for a cuddle from a family member, as there isn't for one with a dear friend/hugalicious CC cuddler, with a fellow tactile/sensual CC cuddler, as there isn't for a loving non-platonic partner either.
They each provide not only different degrees of physical touch, but of intimacy and emotional care as well. Obviously the latter isn't to be sought here. But the two CC cuddler types most certainly are, and are equally relevant and necessary for many of us to feel a sense of fulfillment through connection.
I'm not saying you're wrong, just that there's more than one version of correct as to the reasons for why this site continues to exist.
I have friends with whom I cuddle, too, and we had a “cuddle club” here for awhile with group cuddle parties that would include 20+ people. However, it is not the norm. For most folks, asking a friend if they would like to come over or meet at a restaurant for dinner would be very common. However, most folks would not feel comfortable asking their friends if they would like to come over and cuddle and suspect that most of their friends would find the invitation very unusual and probably awkward.
As for having cuddle puddles in high school - people of that age often will more easily engage in such activity. Adults generally don’t.
I don’t dispute that what is described exists, I’m just saying it doesn’t exist for a lot of us and even for those of us who have friends with whom we can cuddle, they tend to be a very small subset of our friends. If cuddle buddies were easily available to us we wouldn’t be here looking for them and we would not have constant complaints from male members who cannot find women with whom to cuddle.
@Babichev That's fair, platonic cuddles haven't been easy to find for me, either, adulthood being mainly a dating scene. But that's why it's amazing sites like this one exist, and people here are trying to make it happen.
Sensual cuddling seems like the road to Sexual City. Sure, you can turn down that road, but is that a good idea with a stranger? You can turn right onto Sensual Street, or you can keep going straight on Platonic Place. But only one of those roads gets you to Sexual City.
I'd have to cuddle with someone a few times before I felt right taking Sensual Street, feeling confident we'd pull over before getting to Sexual City. Jesus, I sound like an old man. Oh well. I believe in cuddling and doing it platonically. If something progresses over time, that's cool, too, but mustn't be the initial expectation.
Hehe
@MrKinder It only becomes sexual if you allow it to. Control is not that difficult.
I've had "sensual" cuddles on the first session. Getting your arms or legs (depending on cuddle position) brushed lightly with a feather light touch is super calming and relaxing. Yes it can lead to sex if you can't control yourself, but if you can't control yourself you probably shouldn't be here.
@MrKinder ~ That gif... 🤣🤣🤣
And I totally agree with what you're saying about how some types of touch could be one in a series of exits to 'Sexual City'. But I imagine (😉 ~ I actually know) that you're the type of boundary respecting guy who is going to stay on course, continuing along Platonic Place, until you reach your agreed upon destination.
I also understand not engaging in any sort of those "could" touches with someone (the kinds that may be tied to the non-platonic, for either of you), until feeling fully comfortable and confident that you can trust each other to not veer off the road when doing them.
Personally, I'd much rather cuddle with a cautious and tentative driver, who follows all the rules of the road, than someone who's going to floor it first chance they get.
Safety first!!
Side Note: Just because one enjoys a more intense sort of sensory flooded cuddle, it doesn't mean they jump into them carelessly. I love road trips!! But I map them out and do a lot of planning with my travel companion(s) long before we ever even get in the car together. And if/when we decide to hit the Audubon together, I'm for sure going to make sure the brakes are in proper working order first.
@FunCartel , @KamikaziNinja86 I agree, but it's not just self-control, you're trusting the other person to possess that as well.
It feels great to trust someone and to be trusted. But going back to the OP, if there's any question on either end about self-control, there's no need to go down that route.
@quixotic_life - wow, way to run with the driving analogy! Can't wait to see you in Vegas!
In the bachata dancing community, there is Dominican or Traditional bachata (original form) and there's an offshoot called "sensual bachata" which is more formless and beatless and more...surprise surprise : sexy and sensual.
Whether your interaction leads to sex is less about the cuddle type and more about the person's intentions and / or ability to behave and self regulate. I've had cuddles that would be considered sensual , and others that amounted to chilling out on sofa together . Guess what , didnt do sexy time with either because that was not why we were there and that is how you do adulting.
And who says cuddling Is even necessarily a precursor to sex obviously has more time on their hands to plan ahead than some of us
@MCcuddles2 I completely know what you mean. 🤗🌸🦋
Omg!! @pmvines 🤣🤣🤣