When a potential client says they want a sensual or intimate session the alarm bells in my head immediately go off and I ask them what they mean by that and to get more specific. Often times people who request a “sensual session” want a session that would not be considered platonic.
I have one of my regular clients he’s a young guy, and he says in his profile please no sexual advances I just wanted to cuddle. He is one of my all-time favorite cuddlers because it’s like we’re two little kids having fun and holding each other and just feeling the innocence of love. We’re always laughing and smiling and looking at each other. Such a pure cuddle. I can’t remember if he stroked my head or stroke my arm or try to make me feel those sensations. But all I remember feeling is so cozy and dreamy in his arms. You don’t forget cuddles like that. Maybe nobody else wants to cuddle like that but those are the kind of people I love to cuddle.
@KozyKim: That sounds delightful. Direct eye contact can get a little overwhelming for me, but you'll know when that's happening—I'll look away! Just don't chase my eyes, and we'll be fine. 🤗
Don’t cuddle my Bichon. That dog has taken sensual to a new level with the couch pillows.
You guys are so much fun thank you for all the comments I really learned a lot tonight I read every one of them and they really enlighten me. I would love to cuddle all of you. I don’t really play the lottery but you know when they say what would you do with your money I would fly you all out to a big resort where we could all cuddle🤗🤗🤗
@DaringSprinter it’s usually small moments of iContact with big smiles. But I have had a great iContact with people for 15 minutes. Not just staring at them directly without turning away like a stare contest but just looking into each others eyes and holding each others faces I just really love that so much that’s probably one of my favorite things is to hold a persons face and to rub it in all those things it’s so nurturing for me and I hope it is for them.
For me sensual touch us just intentional, slow, meditative and focused touch.
If you've never had the experience of being immersed in deep breaths and then focusing your mental attention on a person who is gently stroking your arm in a rythmic, slow, intentional way, you're missing out.
This tends to evoke feelings of meditative calmness in people.
Yes I was cuddling a guy that was very intense and I called him the cuddle Nazi because he kept controlling the cuddle and was kind of barking out different moves I’m exaggerating a little bit but it was kind of different, in the end I just said let’s just lay here for a minute and I did all that stroking that you were talking about and he goes wow this really feels good. And I said yeah sometimes it’s good just to slow down a bit.
To me a "sensual cuddle" means a mix of various touch types, movement, etc. And it's due to the confusion that I refer to my favorite type of cuddles as "actively tactile-centric".
I mean an embrace has it's place, but for me any sort of prolonged stillness is often excruciating (especially in my legs). And repetative touch (the kind that stays in one spot, with no variation) is as unnerving as it is painful. It feels like a heated splitting wedge is being slowly and deliberately shoved into me with ever increasing pressure.
Also, fwiw... I'm totally into the views expressed here by @FunCartel , @nurturingman , @OnTheJourney , @tacpmurg , and @panda619 too!! 🤗
So yah ~ I'm for sure on team, "Sensual Cuddle" And if a partner is hoping for extras, that's on them because I'm plenty explicit about my boundaries and expectations, and I'm thorough in checking into what their's are too.
And @KozyKim ~ A sensual touch, not tied to sexual intent, is the bestest friggen ingredient in a cuddle ever!! But that said, I think if I were a Pro, there's not a chance in hell I'd elude to that as a type of cuddle element I'd provide. There's just too much lost in translation. But it cetainly doesn't hurt to follow the ask for a 'sensual cuddle' with, "Can you please provide me with some specifics of what you mean? What you're looking for?" And hopefully the majority will reply with something that easily falls within the terms of service and allows you to, "stay true to the cuddle". 🫂
@KozyKim: That sounds a little too intense for an autistic like me! But occasional smiling glances? Yeah, that I can do (and I do).
Vocabulary.com says:
Sensual means physically pleasing. It often is used in a sexual context, but is not exclusively sexual in meaning. Anything that is pleasing to the senses can be called sensuous. The feel of a soft cashmere sweater on your skin, the taste of dark chocolate, even the smell of your favorite person—all of these can be sensuous experiences.
Sensual means physically pleasing. It often is used in a sexual context, but is not exclusively sexual in meaning.
Anything that is pleasing to the senses can be called sensuous. The feel of a soft cashmere sweater on your skin, the taste of dark chocolate, even the smell of your favorite person—all of these can be sensuous experiences.
Apparently "sensuous" was meant to be "sensual" without the sexual connotations. Did it turn out that way? Eh... not so much, in my experience. Oh well.
@Ironman294 😂 I was seeing so many tropes that they could not even think about today. The shopping cart left on the doorstep was a particularly fond memory!
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-empowerment-diary/202102/how-sensuality-can-heal
Define what you mean by sensual, then we can talk about it.
@tacpmurg - Have you specifically asked them to mimic what you’re doing? Don’t assume they know you want that.
@Babichev I find asking such requests faux pas.
Simply put my observations of interactions with pros over the years is that they are used to their clients (men) wanting to touch them. If those same clients want the pro to touch them anywhere below the waist it may be for sexual reasons.
It takes quite a bit of proof in action to show that I will not be attempting to take advantage of them during a session, and that they can feel free to relax/enjoy themselves. I would rather not reset everything by making a request that could be misunderstood. If that makes sense.
I cherish the time with and become a repeat client of those that are similarly inclined to empathetic/observant cuddling.
Word meanings do change over time. I think what they are doing is like talking in code. This way, if they are reported, they can say that’s not what they meant. When, in reality, we know what they are asking for. In that case, if I get the question, I just bluntly ask them, “are you looking for something beyond platonic?” Goodness help them if they say yes! I’m not here to play word games 😂
I dont see the difference in what you said you did compared to what others who have said they give sensual cuddles give. I have sent messages asking what they mean by that and close cuddling is usually the answer..How do you cuddle not close?
If cuddling with strangers of the opposite was as innocent as everyone wants it to be, then why not just cuddle your family members or friends? Cuddling is not a sexual activity but a precursor to one. Whether anyone acts on it, that’s where we draw the line. So feel free to call it what you want ‘platonic’, ‘sensual’, - as long as you don’t cross the line I guess you’re technically still abiding by the rules 👍
You’re right @ KozyKim about photos posted by Pros, a LOT of them look really seductive & sensual by today’s definition😳
@SilenceMe:
Not sure which sex is opposite mine. Anyhow, the internet is such that I'm only geographically close enough to see one of my friends offline, and my family are a bunch of—well, I don't want to cuddle them. Am I so unique? Somehow I doubt it.
If we started listing things that are precursors to sex, we could go on forever. Eating. Dancing. Talking. Pretending things that sometimes happen before sex are inextricably linked to it, close enough to be called precursors... that's pushing it. Wonder why anyone would pretend that?
Nice name, by the way.
@DaringSprinter
Ok so you’re one of those ‘normal? What’s normal?’ type. Not going to get into an endless back and forth regarding who or what someone is attracted to, or what precursors lead to sex.
But there’s a reason why female cuddlers are VERY cautious about meeting men for a cuddle session. Ask them why. And I’m pretty sure sexual activity involves some kind of body contact, more so than simply having dinner. You can take that info and interpret it however way you want to.
Sensual in the thesaurus is a direct synonym for sexual.
It’s interesting. The US being all free and much advanced still Is (generally) behind a century in human connection.
In my almost 2nd world land, hugging and kissing is what we are all about. To tie sex with hugs makes absolutely no sense down there. It’s the most basic of human connection.
@SilenceMe: You asked why people don't just cuddle their friends and relatives. I provided one answer, and suggested that others would have similar answers. I think I'm pretty normal in this.
You claim cuddling is a precursor to sexual activity.
A precursor of something is a similar thing that happened or existed before it, often something that led to the existence or development of that thing. —Collins English Dictionary
Cuddling is similar to sex, you say?
precursor, n., one that precedes and indicates the approach of another —Merriam-Webster
Cuddling precedes sexual activity; cuddling indicates the approach of sexual activity?
Well deary deary me, I sure am glad no cuddle I've ever had has led to sex. It would've been really awkward, having sex with my mom, my dad, my siblings, my grandparents, the elderly couple next door, people at church, everyone I've met through this website, two hobos in a parking lot....
Lucky me, managing to escape the looming threat of sexual activity being heralded by the platonic contact I was enjoying. For 32 years, no less!
Some people will make anything lead to sex. It's those people you need to avoid, not the things they're trying to leverage. Otherwise you end up with bans on things like dancing and having visible ankles.
@SoulParaTodos - “the US is generally behind a century in human connection”
I agree but I think most Americans don’t realize that because relatively few have traveled outside North America. Prior to my 40th birthday, I had only been a few miles across the border into Canada and Mexico. It wasn’t until I moved into a corporate role within a global medical device company that I started traveling all over the world and seeing for myself what other cultures were like. I’ve spent several days in Peru and Panama, and several months in Mexico (along with numerous trips to Asia, Europe and Australia). Your point is 100% accurate based on my observations.
I think we have to go by the accepted definition of the term as it stands today and if somebody is asking for a sensual cuddle then they're asking for more of a sexual experience.
Yes I’ve been to a 2 and 3 world countries and people really know how to be affectionate there you feel so loved you never wanna leave. I was on a mission trip and I was about to meet some pastors but we got our signals crossed and we planned the wrong time. But they still wanted to greet everyone. I met 10 Peruvian pastors each one of them giving me a kiss on the neck. Their intentions were so beautiful that I just felt loved. I’m sure if 10 guys in the states kiss me on the neck probably half of them would get I would get a weird feeling from. To me it’s all about intention. When I have cuddlers with very pure intentions we don’t even have to do any consenting. It’s just like pure bliss. They have no intentions to make me feel awkward in anyway. I don’t really have a lot to do‘s and don’ts I guess. But someone that’s loving and caring and has a pure intent in cuddling doesn’t need as many rules. That’s why one of my questions that I ask potential clients is what is your boundaries. You should have your own set of boundaries. And when men say yes I keep women’s boundaries but if they wanted to do more I would. I really don’t feel like cuddling them.
@stormydaycuddle Sexual is one of many synonyms for sensual. Read the example of the dictionary gives for the use of the word. The feeling of a velvet shirt against the skin. There is nothing sexual about that. In addition, another synonym is tactile which means the sense of touch or something tangible among other things, hence the velvet against the skin example of sensual.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/sensual?src=search-thes-box
This is a word that demands someone give their definition of sensual. There are many connotations of its use, so it always needs clarification for situations like cuddling. Running fingers over one’s scalp can be sensual without being sexual.
In Argentina, my homeland, it is so natural to see men hold hand in the streets, even hugging as they are walking. It is also very natural to to cuddle with a friend, male or female who cares. So many times I have rested my head on my female friends laps as we are laughing or enjoy music.
It is also very normal to say my love or sweetie pie or honey to a female friend, because it’s an expression of love, not an expression of taking that person too bed to have sex
How many times ahead issues with American girlfriends that completely got on the defensive if I even said honey to anyone. I’ve said honey to elders and young people, because being sweet or a honey, doesn’t mean that I have a intention to take them to bed.
That’s the one thing I miss about my culture the closeness, but candid expressions of pure ilove
I know the thing that happens here in this country is that if somebody dresses up sensually, it doesn’t mean that they want someone to have sex with it means that they feel good about themselves in are showing that love. It is a demonstration of inner security And being unafraid to be themselves without anyone putting them in a category of U know what.
So yes America is really behind and this way of thinking and behaving it has a lot to learn from other countries much older countries
@SoulParaTodos very well said 🙌