Picture requests

71Cuddler

It seems common for many potential clients/cuddler requesters to ask for full body pictures. For me, that is a signal they might seek more than just a platonic cuddle. I don't have any objections to them seeing what I look like, but it has a weird feel to me. Weeding out folks who want more than a platonic cuddle is difficult, and this seems to make it a little more difficult for me. I'm interested in knowing how others feel about this request.

munkg

If the intent is platonic does it really matter what you look like? 🤷🏽‍♂️

I don't think what you look like should matter, personally.

IsMeArrggh

I agree with @munkg , but you should get some kind of pic so you can recognize each other when you meet. 😁

I'm a cuddle enthusiast, not a pro, so as someone who isn't getting paid to allow someone to touch me and someone who isn't getting paid to touch people looks matter even if it's platonic. Now if I was going to pay someone for touch and the ability to touch them guess what? Looks matter even MORE.

Just take a moment to think about the situation. Why should I allow someone who I have no physical attraction to hold me, squeeze me, put their head on my chest and whatever else for an hour or longer? What's in it for me?

There is something extra nice about spending time in the embrace of someone who you have a physical attraction to even if it's a platonic embrace. There is something nice about having attractive friends.

I do not want cuddles from someone who makes me think of my parents or grandparents. I want cuddles from someone who I feel is in my range of attractiveness or better.

Plus, all pros should have multiple photos to save time. Yes, you are partially getting paid for your beauty for the first cuddle. That's just part of life, pretty mediocre servers get better tips.

71Cuddler

@munkg and @IsMeArrggh, thank you both. I agree, but I wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable.

msreiki6

@71Cuddler For me, if you're in it for the healing properties of human touch then looks and attraction don't matter ( you still want to feel safe/comfortable). I feel like body type could matter if you prefer cuddling someone bigger than yourself to get that "teddy bear" feeling as opposed to cuddling a person who is more slim/smaller. Both options still involve touch, which is what the nervous system is craving in the end.

munkg

@71Cuddler in the end i think its all about what makes you comfortable as an individual, if you see something as odd or feel like it's a red flag then do what you think you should do.

Everyone has a different system, just make sure you feel as safe as you should be.

I mean, that's how i do for me 😌

SweetCamiXO

To each their own...In my opinion, if your photos are visible & your body type is displayed, there's no need to send someone full body pics. There are far too many bad apples on this site for women to be sending full body pics to any random person that requests one. If my profile and current photos aren't enough for you to determine if you'd like to cuddle with me, i'm not the cuddler for you. 🤷🏽‍♀️

quixotic_life

I totally get wanting a full pic and it being a fully platonic ask. Some of us have a need to do some preloading and part of that process, for some of is, is having a mental picture of what our body next to their's will likely look like in order to calm ourselves around what it may feel like.

People's requests of you are not always about you, or them having anterior motives. For me it's simple a means to decrease the anxieties I have around squishing up to a new body.

But if it throws flags, it throws flags. Never ever should anyone go against their gut reactions (even if they or others think they're irrational) IMO.

71Cuddler

@quixotic_life thank you for that perspective. I hadn’t thought of it that way.

Cuddle_RN

I agree with those who say never ignore your instincts. However there are platonic reasons I might ask for a full body picture. In my line of work I've encountered people who live in just plain dirty and/or gross environments (like yes, Ms. X, I can definitely tell you live with 30 indoor cats, I can hardly stand to breathe the air in your room) and most of them would not be able to hide the effects.of those conditions in a full body picture. Additionally, I had my marriage and family destroyed by the child of a hoarder. It would be extremely triggering for me if someone like that hoarder showed up to cuddle me. The thought is almost making me physically ill.

GreatHornedOwl

@ImMarie - I couldn't disagree more. Platonic cuddling should have absolutely nothing to do with a person's appearance. My feelings on the expressed in the following paragraph which I just copied from my profile: "Just as I hope that you won't use my age as the critical factor in deciding my suitability as a cuddle partner, I will never use your physical appearance as a factor. Be you beautiful or ugly, slim or fat, young or old, I don't care in the slightest. What I do care about, is the quality of what's between your ears. I want to cuddle with a woman who can carry on a reasonably intelligent conversation."

GreatHornedOwl

@Cuddle_RN, - You can rationalize just about anything, but if a persons appearance is not a good criteria for selecting a platonic cuddle partner, than dreaming up some outlandish possibilities, just doesn't make good sense.

The guy with 30 indoor cats could very easily dress up very nicely for a photo, which would tell you exactly nothing. Perhaps, you should ask for a bottled sample \of his aroma?

Your second example is even sillier. I'm fairly certain that it took a lot longer than a the duration of a typical cuddle session for the the child of a hoarder to ruin your marriage and destroy your family. Perhaps, you should request full body photos in each room of their house, so you can see if any of them are full of junk.

Minestrone101

Yeah, I would say 95 or 98% of the time, it's a guy trying to scope out your body. Seriously, it's unnecessary information and the profile includes categorizing your body type. What more do you need? There are many folks that don't have pictures and they're gonna demand full body shots. Come on.

I'd agree that one can rationalize this all they want but when it comes down to it, full body pics do two things:

• verify potential attraction
• verify someone's entire body looks how they say it does when meeting in person.

It's a preference like anything else. If you want to cuddle with people you're attracted to, go for it! You don't even have to mention it, just walk away from a chat if you're not attracted to someone.

There's far more to attraction than sexual attraction, and I also agree there's something really nice about cuddling with someone I feel attraction toward. I think a lot of folks get hung up on this; for some, just because they like looking at someone or feel drawn to someone doesn't mean they want to have sex with the other person.

I absolutely don't need it, but when it's there it's really sweet. But also, I don't ask for pics; I just reach out to people who are bold enough to use their own pictures in their profile. Removes this issue entirely and I don't think or worry about it.

GreatHornedOwl

@Momoo So how does any of that explain the ned for whole body photos?

Minestrone101

@GreatHornedOwl He says it here:

• verify potential attraction
• verify someone's entire body looks how they say it does when meeting in person.

@71Cuddler Despite my profile picture quite literally being a full body picture of me, today I received “ Can you also send a few more full length photos just for body type reference?!” This is not OnlyFans. 😤

Cuddle_RN

@GreatHornedOwl, you said "Your second example is even sillier. I'm fairly certain that it took a lot longer than a the duration of a typical cuddle session for the the child of a hoarder to ruin your marriage and destroy your family."

You are conflating two events that have nothing whatsoever to do with each other.

I did not start platonic cuddling until a year after I had to take my kids and leave. Well after my life was turned upside down.

Your words are very hurtful and the assumptions you're making about me are astounding. You have no idea what you're talking about and honestly, I'm glad you don't. I would not wish what happened to me on anyone.

I'm sorry you're not having the experience you would like to have on this site, but unloading on me like this isn't going to help you.

Minestrone101

@AvaRenee Maybe they think you have that Cobra Kai appeal. Lol But yeah, that's weird.

KamikaziNinja86

I prefer cuddling with women I find attractive for the reason that I am shy around women I find attractive. So why not use this site to get cuddles and to help myself converse with women I find attractive without the worry and stress of anything else but just enjoying the cuddles and company.

Plus there are people who are more comfortable cuddling with bigger people and some that are more comfortable cuddling with smaller people.

@SweetCamiXO a lot of times the body type listed on the profile does little to tell anything without at least a half body image. I have seen women who put "average” who are bigger than women who put ”a little extra". The body type is open to interpretation by the person filling out the profile, and someone looking at the profile can interpret it completely different.

RadiantHugs

@71Cuddler I'm going to share something at the risk of inviting flack - but here it is anyways. Since you are a pro, looks shouldn't matter to you in deciding to accept a session. However, for someone who wants to hire you, looks absolutely become part of the equation and no one should judge anyone for deciding based on that - your clients are well within their bounds to have preferences for hiring someone who they find attractive and will help them release oxytocin. And no, their preferences do not have to be politically correct. Speaking for me personally, I have never asked a pro for a picture additional to the ones they already posted on their profile, but I have made decisions to book a pro or not based on the pictures their profile.

Of course, if it's another enthusiast, then it's not all about me. The session in that case is a mutual 50-50 give and take, so as long as we both comfortable with each other looks don't matter at all.

Minestrone101

@CuddlesByDeep - I disagree with your double standard. Pros have every right to choose their own criteria (age, looks, safety level, convenience,
etc.) - there's no way if the site can regulate that. That goes for every kind of pro regardless of their gender or identity.

Here's your flack. Lol. 🥓🥓🥓

TxTom

Gosh, I really don't understand the reason for debating the personal criteria people have for the various choices they make when seeking cuddle partners. These preferences are as varied as the types of foods we think taste good, or what kind of artwork speaks to us personally. There is no right or wrong. It's all very subjective.

Now, can we get back to debating something more concrete, substantial, and unbiased such as did Elvis really learn his fancy footwork from Forrest Gump?

Minestrone101

@Tom2019 Speaking of Elvis...

https://www.seriouseats.com/elvis-sandwich-peanut-butter-banana-bacon

71Cuddler

@CuddlesByDeep I want to be clear in the intention of my question. I am not opposed to people wanting to or not wanting to be with attractive cuddlers. I was simply asking if requesting a full body image is something that sets off an alarm for others like it has for me. I've been asked to send a full body image, then another, then asked do I offer other services. I know how to report and block, and I do when that is called for; however, that question seems like a gateway question to wanting more than platonic cuddles. That was my inquiry, certainly not intending to judge anyone for their preference in cuddler. I hope that makes sense. This thread seems to be heading down the road of deciding if looks should be a factor, and that's a healthy conversation to have, but not the one I intended to start. My question was more about filtering out folks who might not think of cuddling as platonic.

Cuddle_RN

@71Cuddler, always, always, always go with your gut. If it's giving you the uh-oh feeling, something is wrong somewhere and they are not the cuddler for you.

71Cuddler

@Cuddle_RN Thank you!

supadupa

@ImMarie agreed! If you were a dude writing this many would have flagged your post and people would be attacking you in a super harsh way and trash you as a toxic male sexist rotten nk good scoundrel!
Im sorry when people say it’s platonic cuddles nothing should matter, looks, body type, gender, etc etc.
Like you said if you’re not being paid you’re Anna cuddle with someone that you’re attracted to and it can still be above board. And if you’re paying requesting a photo isn’t wrong.
Now if they keep asking for more photos and making inappropriate requests then that’s wrong. But if it’s just one I don’t think there’s anything wrong because many people only have 1 photo and people have their preferences to body type they wanna cuddle.
Anyway im preparing for flags or being banned on my post just because I agreed with you.

Minestrone101

@supadupa When was the last time you were asked for a full body shot and if you provide more than platonic cuddling services?

As @Cuddle_RN stated earlier,men and women have different issues, but they each have their own issues. The rest appears to be apples or oranges.

cde123

I appreciate when cuddlers include a full body pic on their profiles mainly because I'm slim, and a pic helps me understand how well we are going to fit together. I'm not very concerned about attractiveness, but cuddling is tactile. I think compatible body type does help with the experience of holding or being held.

I don't ask for it, though, I just skip over pros where I can't figure it out from their profiles. More often though, I'm skipping over people with those devil horns or whatever.