@cylee1180 im thinking you didn’t read my whole post just that I agreed with imMarie.
@supadupa I read the whole post. Disagreed with the top, agreed with the bottom.
People I know irl say to me that looks don’t matter but o never see them date or even have unattractive friends. Perhaps it’s true that everyone in here that says looks don’t matter are being truthful, but then if you look at who they cuddle and it’s always attractive professionals. But it could just be a coincidence, but anyway I take my leave of this thread. Like most threads same old song.
@supadupa That's off topic. Why bring up your issues to derail the convo? You can start a new thread maybe.
If you're always rating pples appearance and attractiveness, then maybe you're the one that is just judging pples worth based on their looks.
Also, why bring up dating? That's also off topic.
Touched a nerve I see. How many times are you gonna say off topic. I didn’t say I was always rating peoples attractiveness and appearance and I did was say I agree with Immarie. I see you have cuddled with one person. Very attractive/ Anyway have a good night sir/
As many times as you go off topic, that's how many times, @supadupa . Yes - probably a good idea to stay off this thread. [-Sid]
@Cuddle_RN - I thought that personal attacks were against the rules, but it seems to me that your entire post was all about attacking me, rather than about attacking my argument. I attempted to refute your arguments, instead of attacking you personally. However, at the end of your post, when you began attacking me personally, that became impossible. You had no arguments to refute.
I really doubt that you could detect a guy's odor from a whole body photo. I am also making an assumption that it's absurdly impossible for anybody to ruin your life in a matter two two hours, by being a hoarder. You are the one who conflated using that, with reason that it is necessary to somebody's whole body photo. You are the on who be were started mixing at two subjected that had nothing to do with each other, and then accusing me of of conflating them.
You tell me that I'm being hurtful, and making assumptions about me. I defy you to name a single assumption about you that I might have made. You tell my that I have no idea what you're talking about. For once, you're right. I have no idea what you're you. What does "I would not wish what happened to me on anyone," have anything to do with wanting full body photos?
Lastly, I strongly object to you playing psychiatrist and telling me that my experience with this site is causing me to unload on you. Here, I feel justified in telling you that you are the one who knows absolutely zero about me.
I unloaded, not on you, but rather on your argument, for two for reasons. First, you argument was just plain wrong. People might desire a full body photo, but nobody but nobody actually needs one. Secondly, arguing that somebody might need a full body photo because your marriage and your family were ruined by somebody being a hoarder, is completely irrational. I fail to see any connection at all.
Consider this fair warning, @GreatHornedOwl - do not further engage with @Cuddle_RN - here or on any other thread. Do not tag her, do not antagonize, do not engage. Her response to you on page 1 was quite measured. Your "unloading" is a personal attack and not appropriate, not here, not there, not anywhere. [-Sid]
@71Cuddler I don't think it's an unreasonable request. Some cuddlers may want a full view of what someone looks like before a cuddle and it could be for a multitude of reasons. It does not necessarily have to be sexual. Looks matter regardless if it's a platonic activity or not. For example, there are research articles that suggest attractive people are more likely to be hired than less attractive people. It's not fair but it's the way of life. Anyway, if you are uncomfortable sharing a full picture for whatever reasons, that is your prerogative.
Folks. There's no right or wrong on this topic. Pros and enthusiasts rightfully will point out that this isn't OF, that requests for full body pics can be interpreted as "I'm a creeper and just wanna see all your curves" on one spectrum. Others have experienced that requestors are asking because they're visual learners, wanting as much visual information as possible.
Photos are one medium in which we communicate. They are not the ONLY way. Mileage will vary.
In the meantime, stop with the self-righteousness. What works for you? Figure it out. What works for someone else? That's not up to you.
My cynical side suspects that whoever it was who said like, 90% of those requests come from men who are trying to figure out if you're hot enough for them is correct. There's an argument to be made for "evaluating/visualizing how we might fit together" or "knowing what they claim to look like for safety when we meet irl". But I would be surprised if those make up a large proportion of requests.
My suggestion? Ask the person (man) for a photo like that as well. I've found one of the fastest ways to send men running from my inbox is to tell them I won't speak to profiles that don't have a photo.
I think It's weird. I wouldn't send unnecessary pics. If they want to see a full body pic to verify what I look like or my true identity, we can either Skype or meet in person in public. The don't like giving into weird requests or requests just because someone asks. I don't know what people are doing with my photo and I've already approved the ones I have public in my profile.
If perfectly fine to say no to a request for whatever reason, @71Cuddler
@71Cuddler thank you for clarifying; your concern is completely valid. I'd certainly put safety above all else, and certainly walk away any time you get creep vibes.
@cylee1180 I don't know if it's a double standard, but if there is one, I certainly own it!
@CuddlesByDeep In the end, everyone has their preferences. Cheers 🍻🥂.
I've seen around 5-6 Non Pros. Three did not have a picture. I don't have a picture. Only one asked for my picture. Looks Do Not and Does not matter if it is platonic. I'm looking for someone to hold, someone to hold me. This is Not a dating site.
I find myself in agreement with much of what @ImMarie and @Cuddle_RN both said. Now, I don't know what 'triggering' feels like, but I understand that it does happen to some people because I've seen it happen first hand. If screening through the use of photos helps reduce such a risk, then what's the harm?
The main point that everyone seems to dance around is this: physical appearance can and does matter to many people, even in platonic activities. If I have my choice, I'd rather cuddle with a woman who is aesthetically pleasing to me, rather than with one who isn't. Doubly so if I'm paying for her time and company. Keep in mind that my SUBJECTIVE concept of 'aesthetically pleasing' covers a wide range of ages, body types, and so on. Someone else's subjective concept may be quite different from mine.
"Aesthetically pleasing" does not need to be interpreted as "sexually attractive" or "physical attraction". However, if I'm not comfortable looking into the eyes of my cuddle partner, then what's the point of having the interaction in the first place? For those who say that physical appearance matters not in the least to you, it's likely that your subjective opinion of aesthetics is simply broader than the subjective opinion of others.
Either way, it's not something that the person holding the opinion ought to be judged on.
In my personal experience everyone who asked for full body photo end up wanting more.
@GreatHornedOwl and yet despite saying that appearance doesn't matter at all, you will only cuddle with women. That's an indicator that it does actually matter a little bit, in some way.
@Mela_B I don't think that's a fair comparison to make, and that's coming from a guy who cuddles with anyone.
@Mela_B 😊
@71Cuddler, I’m my experience, there is a great benefit in having a varied collection of photos on your profile. It demonstrates confidence, gives viewers a sense of your personality, filters out the folks who might be seeking a body type you don’t possess, AND allows you to easily dismiss folks who ask for more photos by saying, “there are plenty on my profile.”
To answer your original question, asking for a full-length photo is not always a red flag for me, but is perhaps a pink one. Combined with other questions like, “what do you like to wear cuddling” and “what are your favorite positions?” I’m going to start putting up my guard.
I don’t require a cuddle partner to be “attractive.” Attractive in what sense?
I’ve cuddled with people who are larger and smaller than I am and it hasn’t really made a difference to me.
I don’t care too much what people look like, how old they are, what shape they are. What I care about is the qualities that make for a good cuddle buddy: that they are clean, relaxed, and respect boundaries.
That being said, people have a right to their preferences. I think its smart for a pro to have a clear face photo and a full body photo so the potential client can make an informed decision if that matters to them.
I’m very suspicious of anyone who refuses to provide a photo on the site. They have various excuses but none of them are very good. I think it’s a huge red flag. We already know there are banned members who try to sneak back onto the site and refuse to give a photo on site - though they will send one by email, text, etc. - because they don’t want to be recognized as having been banned.
I take a break from the forum for four days and somebody turns up to spout absolute nonsense. Good grief, @ImMarie, what do you think cuddling is?
I expect other people had things to say about this, but I hit that first comment and dang, I have so much to say.
"Isn't getting paid to allow someone to touch me and isn't getting paid to touch people"? Holy Moses. You make it sound like touching and being touched is a chore! Like it's some kind of horrible thing you could only bear to do if you're getting paid in either money or beauty!
Why should you allow someone who you have no physical attraction to to hold you, squeeze you, put their head on your chest and whatever else for an hour or longer? You shouldn't!
If you don't feel that tactile draw that says I want to touch this person, I want to feel them beside me, I want the pressure of their arms around me, their head on my chest, their body in my arms, or whatever platonic thing else, then what the heck are you cuddling for? A tingling sexual burn in the pit of your stomach? That's not what this is about! If that's all you're here for, go away!
You don't want to cuddle someone who makes you think of the people who raised and (presumably) loved and cared for you just because you were part of their family?
You only want to cuddle people who you consider worthy romantic/sexual partners?
Go. Away.
We want cuddle buddies we're attracted to, yes: buddies we're attracted to in a cuddly way. Folks whose personalities we're drawn to, whose hair we want to play with, whose bodies we want to squish, and yes, even buddies whose faces we want to look at.
But somehow I get the feeling that Marie, here, isn't talking about platonic attractiveness when she specifically excludes the most attractive type of cuddler out there: the mom and dad cuddlers, the parental and grandparental snuggle bugs.
When she says "I want cuddles from someone who I feel is in my range of attractiveness or better," all my warning bells go off.
Why are you even here??
I'm glad I wasn't looking at the forum during my break, because this would have ruined my relaxed, cuddly time with Zwei. Good gravy, I hate this kind of thing. I can't get away from the sexual attractiveness obsessed dating mindset even here?
Ugh.
...Oh. I see I am alone in my disgust. Well.
To the OP's question: some people have perfectly platonic reasons for wanting a full-body pic. Many do not. This is on account of humans in general being a bunch of sex-obsessed monkeys.
Asking for a picture of you from top to toe isn't a red flag on its own. I'd call it a yellow flag: slow down and ask some more questions.
To @GreatHornedOwl: obviously a hoarder can't wreck your life in the space of a single cuddle. Equally obviously, a firecracker can't trap you in a muddy trench next to your dead war buddy... and yet.
That said, the connection to full-body pics is tenuous. A hoarder could always take the shot at somebody else's place.
1st of all... These are all great opinions
2nd of all heres mine...
body size may be a factor but im pretty sure our bios ask us what type of body we have, and the more honest we are on our bios ....the more honest our sessions will be...
I have cuddled all body types, even those who cannot move. What I find makes a great cuddle session is being able to communicate our thoughts in a judge free environment. I don't request pictures from my clients, because some may be scared to.
If someone asked me what i looked like without any interaction ( talking) first...im assuming they don't care about me as a person they just want the goods. If they want a full body pic and get creeper vibes ( go outside... hug a tree and set the camera on a timer lol ) tell them to go away you found your hugs somewhere else.
Since I'm being misunderstood...the hoarder in question was a trash hoarder. Hoarders at this level of dysfunction do not allow anyone outside their family to see inside their homes. They do not have piled up belongings through which there are passageways. The home is literally covered in knee deep trash which has pathways walked into it. In other words, some of the trash has been compacted into a pathway by the humans moving through the house.
There was not a working toilet.
The child of the hoarder had been doing her own laundry in the backyard with a hose since elementary school.
It would take me 3 hours to verbally convey all that this child told me about the living conditions in the time that she lived with me, much longer to type it all out. She went to GREAT lengths to keep her mother's secrets.
The mother was not and is not physically or mentally capable of hiding all of this on her person. She cannot go to a secondary location and take a picture and appear "normal". This has been attempted and failed. Hence my statement about not being able to hide the effects of living conditions in a full body picture.
Some of you may still not understand or believe me, and that's ok. Everyone IRL to whom I've told my story has said "this is the worst/craziest thing I've ever heard" and as I was going through it, it definitely felt surreal.
@Cuddle_RN: Yeah, that sounds scarring. Frankly, I wouldn't expect someone that far gone to be able to hide anything in a face-only pic. A full-body shot would definitely give the game away, and that strikes me as a solid platonic reason to ask for one.
Yellow flag, not red. There are platonic reasons to ask for a full-body picture—and there are also non-platonic reasons, so proceed with caution after such a request.
Damn, @Cuddle_RN, I’m so sorry that you went through that rough patch—you certainly shouldn’t cuddle anyone who makes you uncomfortable or reminds you of hard times.
That said… it would be super cool if we could lay off the further demonizing of people with mental illness. You never know who is reading your words and I shudder to think of folks out there feeling unworthy of love or affection because they’re struggling with the state of their home.
If that’s you reading this, you’re worthy of love just as you are.
I think people might be jumping to conclusions that @Cuddle_RN is talking about a cuddle client.
That being said, I'm not sure I or anyone else should be pestering her on details of this story...
@Mr_Cuddle_Bear, I don’t think she’s talking about a client, esp as she herself is an enthusiast and not a pro. I just think talking about how people with messy houses or too many cats make you sick is potentially unkind, so we should all move on from the example.
@Babichev I understand that being a red flag but there are still plenty of good reasons that some people would have to not put a picture on their profile. Many people are in relationships where their partner would not tolerate them seeking out cuddling. Even when their partner is comfortable with it, they may worry about someone else seeing it and making the wrong assumptions (a situation shared with non-monogamous dating). Many people are public figures or at least prominent figures who wouldn’t want this private part of their lives being exposed. In fact, I think it is somewhat of a privilege to have the comfort to be able to post your picture on such a site.
Gather around children, for what I am about to say is of great import . If you want to ask for a pic and it is not for nefarious purposes , then ask. If asked for a pic and you do not wish to share one , decline. If requesting a pic and the person declines.your request, accept it. If you request a pic and it is not for nefarious purposes and they oblige , congratulations, you now have a pic. If you do not request a pic and the other person by default does not provide a pic because none was requested, congratulations, you do not have a pic