@Rezz, We are not independent contractors. the site would have to contract us to be that. they give us a place to put our service out there. They take a fee as we place our " ad " on this platform. I personally think IDs should be required. Accountability is important. So far I have personally dealt with way too many boys who cross the lines. I have been in positions when i had a client not mess with me but completely harass another pro on here and she caught in on recording but because she doesn't know his actual info. there is not much she can do. non the less i know that in the end.. this site provides someone revenue... the chances of implementing a system that would lower sales is slim.
@bobadevotee - Yes, but having sex workers here attracts clients looking for them. Obviously they can't put in their profile that they're a sex worker, so people will be testing the waters when they get with someone to see how far they can go. I believe it will solve a lot of this if all forms of sex work was legal in the U.S.
@bobadevotee "i think the “reports are not anonymous” part means that mods can see who reported. Not that the person you report necessarily knows it was you."
It doesn't. You can read the info I provided in that comment or click the link for more info.
"Reports and confidentiality Reporting another member for misconduct is highly valuable to the community. If you intend to file a report, thank you for your contribution.
In regards to privacy, while discretion is an important consideration for us, under some circumstances your username can become known to the accused member. ..." https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/site/privacy#reports
@Lovelight that’s why I said “not necessarily”. It doesn’t sound like the person you reported automatically knows but that there may be some specific scenarios where it might be known
As an individual, I would not mind presenting ID/whatever is necessary (either to site or to individual people, assuming the profile is decently reputable... maybe not to someone that just signed up. idk) to show that I'm who I say I am and to help ensure safety with the person I was working with/pros as a whole.
I'm sure I'm in the minority on that though; there are probably 10-100x more people who aren't going to want to do that, compared to those who are. Sad.
@Mike403 I am only talking about sex offenders and those monsters are attracted to any places they can find vulnerable people. Sex workers are irrelevant to that
@lovelight
In regards to privacy, while discretion is an important consideration for us, under some circumstances your username can become known to the accused member. ..."
In these cases the mods tell us before they can proceed they will need to disclose who is making the report. They will not do this without our permission.
I wish they would revise this so it's clearer.
Just hire a big bodyguard to stand near the entrance while holding a shotgun.
@Gibstack in 3 years I’ve only met 1 person who was willing to show an ID. One man started yelling at me and slammed a door in my face. He seemed erratic from the start so I think I dodged a bullet.
My biggest concern with asking for ID is if a client asked my ID in return. I’ve seen stories of pros being stalked and I don’t want that to happen to me. A third party, ie. the platform, beholden to confidentiality would be safest for sharing IDs with, rather than showing IDs directly to any given individual. I think CC isn’t likely to stalk or harass you if they had your info
@Mike403 lol I’ve had some clients get angry at my just for texting my friends to check in, and a lot of these dudes don’t wanna be seen by anyone. One guy had me enter separately into the hotel so his coworkers wouldn’t see us together. I imagine they wouldn’t allow me to have a bodyguard around. Also, I’d have to start charging $150/hr if I needed to pay another person to help me…
@Rezz "In these cases the mods tell us before they can proceed they will need to disclose who is making the report. They will not do this without our permission.
I wish they would revise this so it's clearer."
Oh alright, yeah that may need to be clarified cause I had no idea. Unless there's a good reason for not doing so that I'm unaware of.
It also says this: "You can request in your report that we do not disclose your username or details of an incident to the accused member. However, please note that this might prevent an investigation and subsequently prevent any action being taken."
Which seems to me like you've to opt-in to be anonymous just based on how it's written. Rather than being asked or anonymity being assumed I guess. It isn't that clear to me. So maybe @Mark could help clarify it.
@bobadevotee okay.
Also many may not know but this site started as an completely free site. It was a site for enthusiasts to meet others. Pros were introduced later. CC is a social networking site for cuddlers with the option to book a paid cuddler.
The implementation of requiring identification would absolutely kill this site as many want to remain anonymous for valid reasons.
While I wish the site had more safety features for us the reality is it likely won't anytime in the near future, if ever. I'm just being realistic. 😔
@bobadevotee I think that if I didn't know why I was being asked to show ID (like if this had already happened and I didn't read this thread) I might ask the same thing and that might make them uncomfortable (unbeknownst to me why). But like, this thread alone is enough to make me see why I (or any individual) should be comfortable with it*.
(*as long as the profile looks like it's been around a minute. could be dodgy just giving my ID to anyone who asks if they just joined a week ago. a third party verifying it (i.e. the site) is more ideal)
@Rezz I get where you’re coming from but, again, there are social media sites that require IDs. Facebook being one of them. I’m aware this site started as free but even if it was still 100% free, the nature of activities here and safety risk I feel warrants ID even more than a place like FB or any other social media site
I do appreciate your feedback and hope you’re fine with my disagreeing. Tone doesn’t come through well online
@Gibstack Yeah I think the issue is usually the most vulnerable profiles are the new ones. New pros get targeted a LOT by men who have been inappropriate and blacklisted by other pros, and thus can’t get appointments with anyone in their area. They see a new profile and jump on it, hoping the new pro hasn’t heard about their reputation yet.
I understand where the idea is coming from, however I think I'd rather show my ID to an individual in person, than submit it on a website where there could be potential leaking of information. To clarify what I mean, I'm talking about something like what happened with Equifax being breached (which I received a small $5 settlement for recently. Woo hoo lol) by hackers, or like a few years ago when Sony(Playstation) was hacked, etc. Another example is that somehow somewhere a person got a hold of a photocopy of my old expired driver's license. I don't keep it laying around anywhere so I have been trying to figure out how they got it. This was just last year. They used that info and tried to get several credit cards as well as purchase a car in my name. I was surprised when I got a phonecall from the police telling me about it. Thankfully nobody was dumb enough to go through with any of that, but now I have hard credit inquiries on my record from that, and when I contacted the three credit bureaus, they didn't all remove them or support my claims of fraud. So now I froze my credit and out a fraud alert and haven't seen anything.
But this is definitely a reason I'd be wary of giving out my ID electronically.
@bobadevotee weed is not illegal in some states but it is still regulated in those states like alcohol.
This site could ask for IDs and it would help to greatly reduce the risk of assault and underage cuddlers. It would cost them numbers meaning potential money and time to review all IDs would cost them as well. It seems to me if we are on this site as a pro, we are willing to put up with horny men and take the risk of sexual assault for money. It is what it is, and I think people realize this when they join this site. I'm surprised how many people make threads on this forum as if they are surprised.
You are blatantly wrong in your premise, @pty1999 . NO ONE SHOULD BE "WILLING TO PUT UP WITH HORNY MEN AND RISK SEXUAL ASSAULT FOR MONEY." If you, as a Pro, do not understand the premise of this platonic cuddling site, perhaps you should be asking yourself why you ARE here. [-Sid]
@bobadevotee Girl you're all good. I'm a bit 🫠💨 right now so I hope I'm coming across as supportive! Which I truly am. I've just seen this discussion brought up before and what I've learned is that we are solely responsible for screening. These discussions are always important so I'm stoked to see other pros voicing their valid concerns. ❤️
@bobadevotee - For what it is worth, I have only had 1 person I met on here ask me for a photo ID and I showed it to her. However, that request came at the end of a 15 minute WebEx chat AND she was going to be hosting me when we met in person so I was comfortable showing it to her. Everyone has their own screening process and while hers was more thorough than most, it did not bother me the way she handled it.
@bobadevotee - I've never had to show my ID on Facebook. It would help keep impersonators off if they required it. One of my friends recently had his photos stolen and they created a new account under his name then sent friend requests pretending to be him.
@Rezz "If you've been assaulted call the police, you're a victim not a sex worker."
Although I don't support sex work, I care about the safety of sex workers. So I'm not sure what's meant by that statement or if there's a typo. Cause even sex workers can fall victim to sexual assault.
@bobadevotee " in 3 years I’ve met ONE person here who was comfortable showing me their ID. And I understand why most people wouldn’t show their ID to a stranger. It generally isn’t safer to show your real name to a person because they can look you up and stalk you. It’s safer to show your real name to institutions that have privacy procedures in place."
I think there are a lot of variables at play in that, results can vary from person to person and whether or not one is a pro or enthusiast. Along with other factors such as how restrictive their filters for cuddlers are. People for instance who cuddle both men and women for free or at a lower price with a wide age range, etc. may have a different result. Along with if they are in cities that they've access to more people.
Also, safer for who? Cause personally I find it safer to do my own due diligence and see the ID for myself, instead of counting on the site to do that and if something happens further down the line the site hitting me with something like: "Sorry the user has left the site along with his data." That is if something like that was to even be implemented.
Furthermore like I said, I think someone would also be more likely to show their ID to someone who their ID they can also see. Unfortunately keeping oneself safe can be a double edged sword, such as platforms that require people including victims of abuse or stalking to use their real name. Instead of letting them decide that for themselves when and with who they wish to share with. I hear the point you're making however I see it basically causing the very same issue with people being less likely to join and it costing the site a lot more to put that in place. For a huge platform such as FB that make bank and who have a high demand, I can see that basically working. However, for a virtually free, already niche platform with volunteer mods and a lot to tackle, I don't see it working much. The site could become liable if it starts having such things in place and that comes with a lot which it may not be equipped to handle.
It still wouldn't make all the issues I raised disappear.
Though if the site was to implement what you're suggesting @bobadevotee then maybe the following approach could be a tbing?:
Whoever wants to require that the site collect IDs from users who want to connect with them, could get a feature on their profile that requires others to provide their ID to the site. As for the cost of that, the site may require the person being 'booked' to pay a fee for that service be it a subscription based, per profile, etc.
Whereas anyone else soley does their own vetting.
That may be a way to mitigate people not joining the site, though I still don't think it'd work for a niche site like this which is basically free.
@bobadevotee I agree. I’ve asked this in a few places and there are all kinds of “reasons” aligning the site requiring id to taking responsibility, which of course is not what it has to equal. I think what we hear is this site just won’t go there. If it means not getting clients, so be it. A person who is what they say they are should not have a problem with verification. I’d like to cuddle but I’m not here for a job, so if someone isn’t interested in me feeling safe with them in an intimate setting, they can go somewhere else. Your safety is more important than loosing people who don’t have your interest in mind. 💫
@oxygenjunkee hit the nail on the head 🎯
@Lovelight It was actually a typo. Thank you for catching that. 🤦♀️ I recently discovered I need glasses and have been putting it off.
Let me try to clarify before I go to bed. A pro the other day was hesitant to report it to the police out of fear they would think she's a sex worker and that she would be charged. No one should be sexually assaulted regardless of their job. No means no. End of story.
I fully support sex workers I just wish they would take their work somewhere else more appropriate. That's all.
@Rezz "Let me try to clarify before I go to bed. A pro the other day was hesitant to report it to the police out of fear they would think she's a sex worker and that she would be charged."
All good, I figured you probably meant something like that. Hope you've a good rest.
Good question but that doesn't prevent a person who isn't a registered offender from taking the opportunity to offend. You're also assuming that sex offender hasn't been reformed.
Are all the pros really pros? The cuddling experience is full of rabbit holes. Everyone should make sure they have reached their personal comforability level before any session starts.
@bobadevotee i don’t see anything wrong with asking for ID and whatever info needed to make sure (the best you can) that the person is safe to meet. Though I know there are rules in place to keep pros from asking for a phone number prior to booking (also apologies to any mods reading this if anything I said is against the site rules, I do not support breaking the rules.)
Not all "sex offenders" should be treated equally. You can end up on that list by doing things like public nudity, sex in a public place, visiting a prostitute, having an underage girlfriend etc as well as the more violent sexual crimes. Regardless of what they did, they were served justice and did their time. When you're out of prison, you have a right to become a regular part of society and without having an ambiguous stigma follow you around forever. If we believe someone who committed a violent crime is still a danger to society we are supposed to keep them in prison. If we let them out, we are to presume that they are no longer a danger. So I don't think trying to positively identify people and cross reference them with some list is a good idea. We should take precautions against everyone but until we have a reason to believe that someone is dangerous, we should assume they are not.
I’m not sure the site would have the same value if they did require that sort of invasion in privacy. I absolutely wouldn’t mind a background check for certain things. I did one recently for my suns school. But when i came across this and looked into it, i absolutely would have not joined had there been some sort of affidavit involved. Especially for something i likely consider nonessential. I do understand why it’s important but just form my perspective, as a guy that really only deals with the forums and not cuddling, I’d never have considered it. 2 cents
@bobadevotee i agree completely and don’t see it as an invasion of privacy if done correctly and fairly. They do track the IP information. I wasn’t aware that the client didn’t have any other verifiable forms of identification etc , as professionals we have our debit card on file , from my understanding you can’t use a disposable card but I imagine you could , but I’m Certain with the IP there’s ways to track a client had something occurred. Of course we all want to be Diligent of our own safety. I do let Clients know that I am texting address to my boss and times of our meetings just so they know someone ( probably police ) will be knocking on door if I don’t leave safely. Of course that doesn’t prevent a client from attacking you in that regards them knowing help is on the way could deter them ( always tell someone where you’re going ) activate your phones GPS system. I personally don’t wear dress or skirt and I’m trained in my kind of work for possible encounters, you may at the least consider a class on self defense , or carrying a legal weapon. Also I don’t like to meet people I’ve never met at their home I prefer some meet ups elsewhere first in public areas I have asked for an ID if I wanted to verify where they lived and if the home I was entering was theirs ( of course no body updates addresses anymore) but asking For a form of ID will deter a potential “ attack “ as with thefts and robberies or home invasions , a lot are crimes of opportunities, they’ve checked out many houses , the big gates and big dogs passed by, maybe the home with lights on passed by , maybe the home with security cameras passed by , maybe the homes with light sensors passed, the home with dead bolts and steal doors passed by. But unfortunately some home will be approached and , not always , but it will be potentially the quickest easiest home to rob , in correlation to us , if a client knows someone knows we are there with them and we have their address and ID this may be enough to deter an attack , of course sone people are just psychotic and then an attack cold happen anywhere with anyone ,so point is protect yourself At all Costs ,whether it be meeting elsewhere , informing a friend of address and times of session, requesting ID et. Do it for yourself and don’t bother to care what anyone says if they don’t like it they don’t have to session with you. Do not feel guilty for protecting yourself, we all want to make it home to our family