Hello everyone, I'm a first time cuddler and wanted to ask the community what's the best method(s) for first time cuddling. Do you initiate the contact or prefer the cuddler to take control so to speak?
Best to reach out… no dating rules here 😉 Pro cuddlers are not allowed to message first unless there is reason to believe it is welcomed… such as a visit from a site member.
Welcome, @boyydanny. Funnily enough, you are not first person to ask this. Here are a couple of threads you may find useful:
How To Choose Your Professional Cuddler
How I found happiness on Cuddle Comfort
How I Found Happiness on CC Part 2: The First Meeting
@boyydanny There has been a number of discussions on this topic that you should search out plus a FAQ section that should benefit you. The best help I can give you is to be nice and have some conversation with someone you are contemplating booking with. Women need to be comfortable with you and trust your intentions.
@boyydanny Welcome to the site and may the cuddle gods be EVER in your favor!
Just a bit of an initial thought from a female gender type ENTHUSIAST perspective.... You might want to double check on what you are looking for compared to what this site is offering. Cuddle Comfort is a community of people looking to propagate PLATONIC TOUCH and snuggles. In your profile you wrote....
A warm fire in the fireplace, a good bottle of wine, a romantic movie...
When someone mentions romantic, wine, and fire I kind of immediately wonder if they are looking for something different than platonic connections. Just my opinion on things though. I am only one person looking at the verbiage you have chosen.
@CuddleDuncan shared his advice and experiences and that is a beautiful way to start. I would reschedule everything on your calendar because there is a LOT of amazing insight from all the threads. Specifically the MILLION or so threads that discuss men trying to connect with female cuddlers... Whether you are looking for a Pro OR an Enthusiast
Another great resource is from @respectful who did a CRAZY ton of data collection from some older threads.... This is not a new question. Good on you for trying to figure out your experience!!
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/2711/cuddling-discussions-and-resources/p1
Welcome! I'm with @sillysassy on the romance notion...being romantic is not a quality female cuddlers are seeking here, and shouldn't be your selling point, or focus, as this is not a dating site. Best of luck finding platonic cuddle buddies.
~ Sunset Snuggles
@boyydanny, and I presume you are the teddy bear, did you ask for consent on the butt grab? Saying you just want honey in a Pooh voice doesn’t make it any less creepy.
Just had my first cuddle with a pro last week, and I was really nervous. I knew what I wanted and didn’t want, and figured I’d just take the ‘fake it til you make it’ approach when that door opened and I was finally face to face with the pro I’d contacted.
The nervousness melted away almost instantly and it was easy to reciprocate the enthusiasm and attitude my cuddler had. As soon as I came in she gave me a huge hug and told me she was happy I was there, gave me a quick tour of her place, like where the bathroom was etc. just in case I needed it, told me where to put my shoes and jacket. The environment she provided was really calming, she led me to her bedroom and I just followed her lead when we actually embraced in our cuddle. We’re both talkers so it was a great fit for me and the fastest two hours of my entire life!
(Because I know it’s in the back of every first timers mind) there was not a time during our session when i thought the direction either by her or me was going anywhere but platonic, and because of that I never had to deal with any physical reactions (intentional or non-intentional) on my part that might have made the experience more tense or awkward.
I guess the moral is, relax. Find a pro with karma and a decent amount of tenure, with a detailed about me section and let them take care of you. They know what they’re doing!
Exactly. I've chatted with a few people who are really nervous, but it's just a cuddle. If you have ever had an enjoyable convo with a stranger or aquaintance you can do this and it will most likely be a positive experience.
I’m pretty new but have cuddled a dozen times or so. My approach was I would host, just works for me and my schedule. I always offer to sit on the couch first and chat. I am upfront and say I won’t initiate contact first as I want the woman to make first contact once she is comfortable. Don’t forget as a guy you don’t have to worry so much about creepy girls trying to push boundaries. But as a woman they think about those things the entire time you cuddle. So speak and treat her like you’d want your sister/mom/wife/girlfriend to be treated.
@SnugglesRus That’s such a crazy rule. We enthusiasts get so few messages that I can’t imagine anyone minding having a pro write to them. It’s not like our mail boxes are going to fill up or anything. I’d say I get about 1 message per week.
Welcome @boyydanny
@boyydanny welcome to CC. Seeing you just joined our wonderful community my humble advice is reach out and message everyone in your area that you have chosen on your profile. Say hello 👋 and wish them a great day and say you hope somehow you get to meet them someday .
The forums are interesting at best and in my opinion they sometimes can come across as that meeting peeps is nearly impossible.
Hang in there , if I can meet peeps here I really think we all can. I think effort is rewarded here it’s just sometimes on the forums the community disagrees on what effort looks like 👍 and that’s ok too ! 🤔
I’m shy so I would love for the other person to initiate 1st, but since most of the times they happen to be out of state I sorta get out of my shell and make the 1st move … I really wish cuddlers would get notified when you favorite them so that it kinda woul break the ice 🧊 sorta speak 🗣️ … if they don’t respond after a favorite than Atleast you know.
@LBcuddler , I love that perspective and feel so respected in the presence of a man providing that 💫
@dave31415 you have a great profile! Good for Boston 🤩
Just be polite and direct think of the cuddling pro as like a job interview don't say anything inappropriate but tell the person about your self ....... Also have a presentable pic and one that's is current within this year preferably and have a date time and location planned prior to contacting the pro or if the person hosting punctual and explain any delays where human we understand things happen and you may want to have several dates avb depending on the pros schedule don't be aggressive and be clean (clothing and total body no strong scents ) ☺️ (also taking 💊 substances that can make you pass out even medicine probably not a good idea this could put you and the professional in uncomfortable circumstances) also vocal if at anytime you or they feel uncomfortable you should immediately speak about it to avoid any misunderstandings cuddling is just human kindness as long as your intent is platonic cuddling it should be an amazing experience with whomever you choose (if this is casual cuddling same thing applies )
My advice for a first time cuddler is to not over think it, and dont go into it expecting there to be some other worldly miracle water type experience , regardless of what some people will try to spin it as its just cuddling and it will not fix your problems or your ailments . Look at it as a shared interest or hobby , like joining a Pokemon meetup group or chess club or cycling class. Try to not make it so serious and be a reasonable adult about your expectations. Dont get pervy and weird , that's not what this is about. Just relax , enjoy the connection, be in the moment, and make a new friend while doing something that you both enjoy.
@LBcuddler thats so nice what you wrote. I love that.
Another piece of advice is that lack of enthusiastic consent means no. Someone might be uncomfortable saying no if you do something that they don’t like, pay attention to their body language. They might pull away, act uncomfortable.
Also actual “no” means no. I had my first cuddle meet up last night and it didn’t go well. The user canceled his account. I’m still a bit shaken up, the more I think about it.
@CatGirlColorado I am sorry you had a bad experience. The world is full of 💩 people but not all of us are bad. Was your meet up in a public environment?
set the bar low
@Jo888
We met in public. But I’m sure there are a hundred different things I could have done differently to prevent things from happening. All I can do now is try to avoid mistakes. I handled the situation as best as I could and got out of it without something actually terrible occurring.
If hiring a pro and you are short on money, be sure to borrow money from a pessimist because they won’t expect it back.