@supadupa Yes you can report pros that offer those services. Don’t feel like anyone needs to actively look for people to report. That’s not necessary. And pros that are reported will be reviewed. That doesn’t mean they will be banned, or even issued a warning.
Pros are required to have their full face displayed in the primary profile photo, and it must be them, so yes report them if that is not the case and they will be asked to update their photo.
And yes, there are people that report very small details. We appreciate it, but at the same time, people shouldn’t be going out of their way to try to report as much as they can because that could be an abuse of the system and they may find themselves being issued a warning.
@Charlie_Bear So what you essentially said is because some pros have escort profiles on other sites that pros that keep it platonic are punished by not being able to offer activities that the site interprets as non-cuddling, even though cuddling occurs at theaters, restaurants and other arenas. Seems like an overreach by the site that the above board pros will now have to do things below board because of the paranoia about sex workers. The site is essentially outlawing things for the majority because of a small minority. The logic doesn’t hold.
@FunCartel In my original comment on this new thread, I had said public cuddles like going to the movies or a show are fine since cuddling is still the focus. It seems everyone missed that though, unfortunately. The main concern is pros offering companionship that doesn’t involve cuddling, that is also typically something offered by an escort service. We don’t want pros finding themselves in a situation where their client assumes non-platonic activity is possible. It seems like a silly assumption that one would make, but sadly there are many clients acting in bad faith that feel entitled to non-platonic activity. Those are the ones, in addition to the pros that offer non-platonic extras, that are punishing the other pros that offer public companionship packages that are trying to follow the rules.
Next question—we are suppose to report pros that violate this in spite of warnings of over reporting given to people on the site?
🤦🏻♂️🤷♂️
I think I am just not going to report anything until I see more consistency on policies. Too many ifs ands and buts. I will let it be live and let live.
@Charlie_Bear Thank you for the clarification. My concern was that it seemed platonic activities were being labeled as “escort” and “gfe” experiences. I’m glad to learn that was not the intent. As to pro’s activities outside the site, I have no knowledge of that. I don’t frequent those sites. And I make no assumptions. Therefore I only read profiles at face value. Perhaps that’s been to my detriment in rare instances, after meeting someone and learning a little more about them. Learning experiences, I guess. No big deal. But the vast majority of my experiences here have been very positive and beneficial. And that’s why I’m still here.
My concern was that it seemed platonic activities were being labeled as “escort” and “gfe” experiences.
@cualtzin you weren’t the only one. The reputable pros that go to dinner far outnumber the ones with non-platonic intentions. And as far as non-platonic clients, banning dinners does not diminish or eliminate their intentions.
This conversation is just getting messier and messier. I'm really starting to feel offended by some of these terms and explaining some asinine way of micromanaging platonic connection and also offending legitimate professionals on this site in regards to "protecting" anyone from sex work implementation makes no sense, people seeking sex work will always weed themselves out. Same with those that offer more on the site.
Might just deactivate for a while. Tired of reading disrespectful comments towards some amazing people in this community. You wonder why good members leave.
@FunCartel That is a very fair question and like I told @cualtzin I hope nobody feels like they need to go out of their way to report pros. I would say use your judgement. Does a profile feel off, like maybe they offer more than just platonic cuddles? If so, report them and we can investigate further. This is an ambiguous topic because it’s not clearly defined in the TOS. I am looking to get that clarification, so in the meantime, don’t feel like you need to do anything different than you had been doing before.
@MissAdventurous Exactly! There was conflation of dinners and escorts that really shocks me and I do not blame any pro for being offended by that comment.
I do want to say that I think @Charlie_Bear is doing his best to clarify an unclear policy that @mark should come on and address and offer an apology to legitimate long-standing pros.
@FunCartel @MissAdventurous Yeah…this is my nightmare. For everyone reading this, please know that there are plenty of amazing pros on here that offer to be a companion that are very clearly not among those that have any non-platonic intent and shut down that behavior immediately. Their integrity should not be viewed as being compromised by offering these services. This is a gray area where the site’s main concern is not being associated with an escort site that facilitates non-platonic services. Nobody is being asked to suddenly go on a reporting spree and nobody should be insulting pros by questioning their integrity. This is a topic that could be more clearly defined, so please bear with me as I try to get you a better explanation provided. Thank you 😌
@MissAdventurous I’m very sad to read your post. To think that such an outstanding member of the community would consider deactivating. I’m afraid to imagine how you must feel. I’m headed out of this discussion.
@Charlie_Bear No one is blaming you for an unclear policy and the words of others. I think you are doing great in a difficult situation.
Oh dear. This is all terribly confusing. I’m very surprised at the notion that a pro going to dinner with a client is grounds for reporting.
It is because of the general notion that the later into the day you eat with another person, the more intimate the relationship is perceived to be? Are breakfast and lunch both somehow less casual than dinner, and therefore acceptable, or would they all be under the same umbrella?
I could certainly see a situation where someone isn’t comfortable meeting in a secluded place for whatever reason, even after multiple sessions with the same person. And therefore, sitting next to someone in a booth at a restaurant is about as close to cuddling as they could get. Or sitting across from them and holding hands.
There are even some people who desire companionship, but don’t want to be touched at all. Just feeling the presence of another person is more than enough for some. In cases like those, I would think terms should simply be negotiated by the individuals involved, no? I don’t know how comfortable I would be hiring an escort for platonic activities. The nice thing about being here is that sexual activity it automatically off the table from the beginning. (At least, that’s supposed to be the case)
Entitled people are going to be entitled no matter what, that’s why we all have to be so diligent in our screening processes. There will always be clients (and enthusiasts!) who try to push boundaries and break rules.
I’m not really sure how limiting the non-sexual activities that people are allowed to engage in is going to help that.
I’m waiting to see what the general verdict is here, but so far, this all seems so.. harsh.
People who may not feel comfortable cuddling in the traditional sense are probably feeling terribly alienated right now. Pros are probably going to feel the added pressure as well.
That’s what I think, anyway.
But again, standing by ~ Wanna make sure I have all the pieces.
Nice deep breath, everyone. Conflict is good. Conflict brings change. We’ll all be okay. ❤️
@FunCartel I really appreciate it. This is quite stressful, and I am more concerned about someone like MissAdventurous feeling attacked because she is amazing and I feel represents the best this site has to offer.
@Tigerlilly32
“ girlfriend experience” comes off offensive.
I agree. It’s unfortunately the terminology used on other sites, usually shortened to GFE. My usage of it was specifically in reference to how it is phrased there hoping it was clear what exactly I was referring to. But still, my apologies for failing and not making that clear.
I came to this post thinking it was asking for ideas only to hear things i have done are considered “escorts” which i simply find untrue. public cuddles are an option. if someone feels more comfortable in public there are only so many options you may need to get creative. I have had a lot of cuddles at movies which is honestly pretty great who doesn’t love cuddling at a good movie. I have also met at a park and walked around holding hands and sitting on a bench cuddling. My client was able to get his touch needs met while also being in public which made him more comfortable. these things are platonic all cuddle comfort rules were followed why would this be an issue?
@KariMeiSnuggles I think @Mr_Cuddle_Bear clearly stated that if the ability to cuddle is there all the public options you stated are acceptable.
They are more speaking to +1 for dinners, work outing, where actually cuddling would be difficult.
Are we also not supporting virtual cuddling as it's not something where actually cuddling and touch can happen?
Me personally I see no value of a virtual cuddle and have only done short virtual meetings to see if I should pursue actually cuddling.
Reading this thread makes me want to deactivate because it’s triggering and makes me feel really icky about the site. If there were a better initial vetting process, like requiring legal names and photos, people might be less cavalier in their approach to seeking non platonic services. To have pro’s put our images out and then to perpetuate that non touch platonic activities are akin to escort services actually puts me in harms way. No thanks!
@Eileen_98144 @KariMeiSnuggles @EarthlyAngel003 @MissAdventurous
All of your reactions are warranted. Please give @Charlie_Bear An opportunity to get clarification about the site’s policy. But I feel your outrage. No one wants to be judged and called something they are not. The unfortunate wording by some demonstrates a need to push an agenda rather than considering the greater good. I do know @Charlie_Bear is not one of those insensitive souls.
I have updated the initial discussion topic to provide more info this. I really hope it helps to alleviate the concerns brought up in these comments.
@KariMeiSnuggles I changed the title to address that. Thank you for mentioning it.
Disregard. I’ll reply after being able to read the whole thread.
@LongWarmHug I am very much aware of dinner dates and office parties that lead to sex after, usually because lots of alcohol is involved. I’m not remotely saying that is what pros do, but if someone hires someone to accompany them to something like that, especially if it's referred to as a “date”, that client may be expecting a lot more than the pro offers. I would also argue that cuddling is more platonic, but any of those situations can become non-platonic if someone has the wrong intentions.
I have thought for a long time that Cuddle Comfort acts in effect as an escort agency as well as a cuddle site. This is surely obvious to anyone who browses through the "professional cuddlers" for a few moments.
@BJC If you see it report it. It's a violation of the site's rules, and most of the people who stick around for a significant length of time actually want it to be platonic.
I'm not going to report anyone, ma'am. I was referring only to non-cuddling activities, which "professional" cuddlers often seem to offer. I was not referring to sex.
"Escort" carries the connotation of a specific non-platonic service. If that's not what you meant, then I retract my comment.
I appreciate you all that pumped the breaks on this thread before it completely imploded. I feel pretty horrible that pros felt judged here and suddenly thought that they were doing something wrong. None of this was meant to make anyone feel like they were being attacked for the way they choose to cuddle in public. What @BJC said about this site looking like it acts as an escort agency is exactly the image we want to avoid, which I think is a view shared by all of us in this wonderful community.