What is allowed when a pro offers public cuddle companionship?

System

This discussion was created from comments split from: Update.

Please note that this is a VERY sensitive topic and nobody should be questioning the integrity of pros on this site in this discussion. Also, the majority of comments here (every single one before my mod note on the second page in regards to this) were made prior to this explanation so they are not comments that were made questioning this comment specifically.

When it comes to companion packages offered by pros, it can be questioned what is and isn't allowed on this site. This discussion was made to address that, but due to the ambiguity of the topic, it failed spectacularly, and really, that's on me. I apologize for anyone that has felt offended by this discussion and am now using this space to provide more clear guidance.

It is against the terms of service to offer services that are sexual in nature. Being a companion and providing sexual services are by no means mutually-exclusive, but this does present a gray area that we need to be mindful of.

The type of companionship that is offered by escort service websites includes offering a "girlfriend/boyfriend experience", and while this does not necessarily mean that non-platonic activity associated with that experience is allowed even on those sites, those sites are typically viewed as offering sexual services, which is not helped by the abundance of nude models and other non-platonic offerings. This site does not allow non-platonic activity of any form and the integrity of the site must be maintained. This unfortunately means that in the court of public opinion, seeing services here that are also seen on escort sites may lead people to believe that those same non-platonic services are offered discreetly here. We do our best to shut down any attempt at pros offering non-platonic extras, as well as clients who attempt to take advantage of pros, but this is a battle we are continually fighting so extra care needs to be applied when a gray-area topic such as this is brought up.

A pro can offer platonic public companion packages on their profile, but they should keep in mind that this may open them up to being reported as someone may feel that there is non-platonic intent in those offerings. Offerings that do not involve cuddling will be reviewed and it would be best to avoid offering packages that do not involve any actual cuddling. If a pro is reported, that does not mean that they will be banned or even warned, and if the report is skipped, it will leave no negative marks on their account. It does mean that the moderation team will look into the report and handle them on a case-by-case basis, and will take action if necessary; which most of the time probably wouldn't be the case.

For pros that feel uneasy about the possibility of being unnecessarily reported, limiting your public offerings to packages that are focused on cuddling, such as cuddling following a picnic in a park, cuddling while watching a movie in the theatre, etc are perfectly fine and should hopefully limit the amount of frivolous reports being filed against you.

Another type of service that is brought into question is virtual cuddles. This was created as a means to connect people during covid who were not comfortable meeting others in person but still craved that connection with someone. This is not an offering that should be reported, but it is something that some members view as an opportunity to treat as a non-platonic one-on-one cam session, and that should absolutely be reported immediately.

I just want to emphasize as much as I can that a pro that offers companion services should not have their integrity questioned as they work very hard to fight off the stigma of being someone that offers non-platonic services. Anyone that continually reports pros without any evidence of non-platonic intent may find themselves being warned about their own behavior.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and if you are still unclear, feel free to join in on the discussion in the comments. [Charlie_Bear]

CharlieBear

This was a comment I made from the original discussion linked above to discuss public cuddling sessions offered by pros. It is also a comment made before I added that long explanation above. Please note that this is not meant to be taken as my personal opinion. It's how the mods approach reports involving public cuddles.

When it comes to public cuddles, cuddling should be the primary service. Pros shouldn’t be providing a girlfriend/boyfriend experience, such as dinner dates or a holiday party date etc because these are not cuddle sessions and are typically associated with being non-platonic. But something like going to a movie or show where you are able to cuddle platonically would be fine.

alz480

Good to know in the future.

SunsetSnuggles

@Charlie_Bear So should we be reporting Pro accounts that offer to go to a work event, paid dinners, etc.? These have always struck me as bizarre, but I've seen it so often I thought it was accepted (don't believe I've seen anything against it in the rules, either). I don't have a ban hammer, but I can smash that report button for ya. 😉

~ Sunset Snuggles

This is addressed by @netrunner below. [Charlie_Bear]

reifuaoiu

That's a question I would like answered as well.

MrAdmirer

@SunsetSnuggles i don’t think the pros who offer these non cuddle services should be banned, but perhaps warned/reminded? I bet a lot of them just offered this stuff because they saw other pros who offered it and just followed suit to complete their profiles? Then they can just go in and update their profiles.

I’ve cuddled with ladies who offer it, I didn’t book for it and then certainty didn’t try to upsell it. We had the normal, excellent, platonic cuddle session.

But to be honest, I have a couple of regulars that I trust and know well enough that I could ping them and see if they wanted to join me for a movie just as platonic friends and nothing more. but yeah I would never pay them anything except the movie ticket and snacks. I would not even consider it a date, but it would be nice to not go to the movies alone, especially when I know one of my cuddlers has the same movie interests as me based on previous conversations.

TheFunCartel

Lot of judgement of non-platonic activities. One person’s idea of a date activity is another person’s activity with friends. Just because one person interprets something as a date activity doesn’t make it fact or even a viable interpretation. It is just one person’s thoughts. Here’s an idea—if you think the activity will lead to romantic notions then don’t do it. Pretty simple choice without the air of judgement and assumption.

Mr_Cuddle_Bear

Agree w/ @FunCartel on the judgement. I also want to point out that there are people (not necessarily the OP) who for whatever reason are not emotionally able to have a physical cuddle, and the closest they can get to is just being around someone without physical contact.

3rd persons to the activity need to check their biases at the door and let the two people involved define what platonic cuddling is to them.

WriterGF

I agree with @FunCartel as well. I mean, a virtual cuddle (which many offer here, and no one seems to be protesting) is just hanging out with a friend, there's no platonic physical cuddling involved. How is that different than going out to dinner? As long as the two parties involved are in agreement to keep things platonic, I don't see the problem, I guess.

MissAdventurous

Platonic connection comes in many, many forms. Touch is just one of them. 💗

Cuddling is the priority here, correct.

However, combined with active plans or activities, in my experience of cuddling literally hundreds of different types of individuals, for different lengths of time, I feel adds to the organic factors we all seek in connection.

And again, if it's platonic -- who cares what others do? If you don't want to use that service, don't.

El fin.

cualtzin

There are many healthy activities that can enhance our time together. For me, sharing a meal is every bit as fulfilling as cuddling. Even if we’re just microwaving frozen dinners 🫢. I can also see activities in the outside world. Either just for the joy of it, or as a gentle introduction to human interaction. The site won’t frown upon that. They have to many other things to worry about.

Tigerlilly32

Soo much judgement here… 😔 even to the extent of “reporting “ pros , when cuddling is a- clearly NOT defined, b- each individual has a different perspective on how they receive platonic affection. A person’s past trauma , disability etc is NOT KNOWN so why claim authority? It’s maddening 🫠

At OP I’m sorry some of the comments were telling you that you’re needy- they are NOT physicians, mental health experts or any type of expert. 🙄

You give respect and communication and should expect that. If they don’t give that - they are not meant for you. Period.

I agree with @MissAdventurous and @Mr_Cuddle_Bear .

Going to dinner doesn’t constitute a date 😵‍💫

Whew .. the negative energy on someone who is clearly hurt 😞

Hopefully soon you’ll find a pro that works for you.

Tigerlilly32

Ps.. I don’t do this often .. but sending loads of virtual hugs 🫂

netrunner

If a Pro is offering services outside of cuddling (going to dinner, outings, events, as a +1 for a work event) yes, please report those Pros.

This site is first and foremost for cuddling. There are other sites I will not mention which offer services such as renting a friend or tour guide, life and career couch, yoga session, and escort services for function companions and other things which will fulfill those roles people are seeking elsewhere. Usually the extent of services offered here outside of cuddling are virtual sessions, which only really came about due to the 2020 pandemic and business for Pros dried up as people couldn't or wouldn't meet in person for a long time.

Some Pros list they offer massage as part of their session, some have special pricing for it, but seeing as at least in the US it is regulated and requires proper training and certification to do it professionally (get paid for it), Pros who aren't trained and certified aren't supposed to list they offer it as @Babichev can confirm. Also, most any massage is going to require removal of clothes which breaks the site rules for meeting... so there's that too.

So while it might be hard for some to hear, this is a cuddling site and those coming to the site, regardless if they plan to charge, pay or not, should have only the sole expectation of cuddling from the other site members.
Also, paying to meet someone for a date with them also paying for the meal is more of an escort and not a date.

Matt462

It seems weird that sleep overs are ok but dinner is out of the question. You can pay for a hotel to cuddle but you can’t pay for dinner while cuddling in a booth. People all have their own idea of cuddling, as long as it’s platonic I don’t see any harm in it. Virtual cuddling isn’t even cuddling by definition but it’s ok to charge for it.

I’m not trying to be difficult, it’s just really confusing. Ya know what I mean? We can cuddle at home and watch a movie, but if I want to cuddle at the theater and watch a movie (or play), am I supposed to hire an escort?

TheFunCartel

Also, paying to meet someone for a date with them also paying for the meal is more of an escort and not a date.

Hmmm, you might want to walk that one back a bit. You just called a huge percent of your pros who openly advertise and do platonic activities outside of cuddling escorts. I think they might resent that. Dinner is sometimes used as a screening method.

Sheena123

@netrunner last year, I reported a good amount of pros that offered massages with oils and everything (which means the client is most likely nearly nude or nude) and then a mod (I think Gary), said not to report them anymore. I don’t think I have the convo saved anymore but I’m so confused. Do I report or not? One says yes, one says no. Can I get an absolute confirmation?

CharlieBear

@SunsetSnuggles

So should we be reporting Pro accounts that offer to go to a work event, paid dinners, etc.?

Sorry, I was finding out, but thankfully Netrunner hopped in to answer.

Tigerlilly32

The definition of cuddling-

People fail to recognize those dealing with differences, disabilities and trauma and are not willing to just hop in bed/ couch with random strangers.

Getting to know someone until you’re comfortable can take place within a coffee meetup, a dinner etc.

We have postings such as sitting on laps , and other non hugging which is supported here but a public outing is seen as an escort. 🤔 hugs can happen anywhere, and limiting those who can only accept people in hotels or in their homes ( which is more escort like ) is essentially alienating those who use hugging in different places.

I know I don’t have a popular voice neither am I cliquish but I do speak for those outliers.

carrieanne

After reading so many different opinions and views on every type of interaction between 2 people that seems to come under the umbrella of Cuddling, I can share my own 10 months experiences as a Pro.
I was surprised that dates were considered Cuddling. I thought of that as an escort service. But i feel, to each his own. Do your own thing.
I’ve been asked to meet with Clients as dates and I know in those cases they were trying to start a relationship of some type and they made it clear I would not be paid. Also it wouldn’t be a session and they probably hoped for non-platonic experiences. I had no interest so I declined.
But I recently was contacted by a repeat cuddler for a session that would include going out to dinner first, for conversation and then cuddling at my location afterwards. He has always been extremely respectful, mature and very nice as a Cuddler.
But after this session which went very well and completely platonic as always, I felt that how we viewed each other was getting blurred and I was confused about who I am to him. I don’t know how he thinks of me, he’s not contacted me again and I realized that because of our date, I was thinking of him differently also. It’s caused unnecessary stress.
From now on I will stick to traditional cuddles only. And to be sure they know we won’t be transitioning to dating. It causes too much confusion for me.

supadupa

In my opinion I think having dinner or going to a movie is more platonic than spooning.
And if you want us to start reporting profiles that offer non cuddling you’re talking 25-33% or profiles. So there would be less professionals available to cuddle with and drive traffic down from the site even more.
And what happens to these pros that are reported will they be banned?
I’ve seen profiles where faces are cropped or black bars or even professionals using stock photos. If we report those will they be banned?

PinetownCloud

I'm kind of saddened in some of these posts, recently lots of you shared in one of my threads some very good ideas on options for public sessions I thought were very well thought out, but from the posts here 90% of those would be cause for bans.

WriterGF

This is a really slippery slope. So if a pro and a client want to meet for coffee first as a way to scope each other out before getting into bed, the pro gets reported? Is something going to be added to TOS to define what completely platonic public activities are allowed?

Matt462

Cuddle Comfort is the reason for everyone being here, let’s not micromanage the cuddle part, it’s the comfort that’s most important. If both parties are comfortable and platonic, who are we to tell anyone how to cuddle?

pmvines

The only issue I have is putting on display for public fodder every time somebody does something that bothers you. As I said in my original comment , not sure what the OP is really trying to gain here. Just don't see a point or how that's productive but that's just me and I'm only one person, so you do you ....

However, I agree that it is a bit ridiculous to narrowly pigeon hole what 2 grown adults do with their time together. Yes , the primary focus of the site is platonic cuddling, however people do have a right to spend their time together doing as they wish , providing they aren't using this as a hookup site, no point in splitting so many hairs that you bleed it dry of spontaneity.

WriterGF

I have to agree with Matt462 - if it becomes the site saying, "Okay, you can go for a walk in the park, but no dinner!" pros are going to flee the site. Rule #1 here is stay platonic - as long as that is what they are doing, no one is being hurt, no rules are being broken, and there is certainly no reason for people to be reported. No pro is forcing that sort of companionship on a client.

cualtzin

I’m surprised to see the words “escort” and “girlfriend experience “ being used so casually. In the outside world these words can be highly loaded and subject to interpretation.

At work, when I enter a secure facility, I am provided an escort. The service they provide is unmistakably clear. Cuddling and related platonic activities are an entirely different situation. They involve close and personal interaction. Using those words in this context is at best ambiguous. And therefore problematic.

I apologize if I am out of bounds. But I love words. Probably as much as I love cuddling. And therefore I like to see them used judiciously in serious discussions.

cudbud64

So it seems like the loophole would be if physical touch is happening during an outing, then counts as a cuddle? What if we have site sponsored finger traps to utilize during all meets?

CharlieBear

@cualtzin
Those words are not used casually from the moderation side. It is against the TOS for a pro to operate an escort profile concurrently with a Cuddle Comfort profile. Someone that sees a pro from here on an escort site may think non-platonic services are offered and we cannot be associated with that. The same goes for a girlfriend/boyfriend experience. We want the services offered here to be focused on cuddling. Most pros that offer those services are not escorts on other sites, but some are. Many of the public offerings are innocent enough, but when they fall outside actual cuddling while being something typically associated with an escort service; that is something we need to avoid. There are pros being banned all the time because they have actual escort profiles on other sites, and that is the context of those words being used here.

Tigerlilly32

“ girlfriend experience” comes off offensive.

Volunteering to report others because they provide different ways of platonically engaging in cuddling is very odd.

supadupa

@Charlie_Bear so do we or don’t we report professionals that offer + 1, or dinner dates?
Do we report stock photo profiles or pictures where the face is partially obscured? Would definitely like an answer so we know what is okay or not? Also are these professionals given a warning or outright banned?
Cause there’s people in here that report the smallest thing.
Clarity is good