I'm supposed to be going to a client today and it's a very long distance, but they morning before the drive they messaged and the location is very not safe feeling. Should I continue or cancel.
did they provide a reason for the change of location? that does seem a bit odd, so you should do what makes you feel comfortable. What is difference between the first and second location that makes you feel this way?
Changing location close to the cuddle time can be considered a red flag, though the day of/before isn't the same as say, upon arrival. (Which wouldn't allow you time to let a safety contact know of the change.)
If it is the neighborhood that doesn't feel great, that's one thing, but if it's the location itself that feels unsafe, don't do it. I always shoot for broad daylight in populated places (so a park in the afternoon, yes...the same park at 11:00 P.M., heck no).
I don't know there's anything wrong in this instance, but in any instance I say if you don't feel safe, don't go. Request a different location or it's okay to cancel. And always let someone know when, where, and with whom you're going, and when you'll check in. You can also let your cuddler know you have a safety buddy, as well.
~ Sunset Snuggles
Always trust your gut.
Trust your gut.
A reply for everyone who did answer my question in hand and thank you by the way. I have still not canceled with the person I am waiting for a response from them they have not given me anything for multiple hours and the reason they did not give me as well the location on the other hand the reason I find it very sketchy is because they changed it from a rather nice hotel to a very low rated motel that is known for being extremely sketchy dirty and nasty and I feel uncomfortable just in general with that. The location was about a 15 minute drive change from the original location. I'm giving them about another half hour before I will cancel if they cannot give me a good reason cuz I just for my own safety don't feel comfortable.
When people who are genuine, and have a genuine reason for doing something that could be considered a little dubious - like changing the location the day before - they tend to give tediously over-detailed explanations laden with apologies. And/or discuss it before finalising the new arrangment.
In other words it's not so much the Thing that matters, it's the way the Thing is mentioned.
For example, if a hotel change is really necessary for some reason and an equivalent hotel nearby is not available, a genuine person may offer a choice of an equivalent hotel in a different location or a lesser hotel in a similar location. You can then make the decision together.
Play it safe! Be careful! It is April fools day!
Building on the excellent advice from @SunsetSnuggles - I recommend you have a code word / phrase known only to you and your safety contact. Something very innocent that you can mention (or not mention) in a text or voice message to let them know you are not comfortable but that you are not free to speak. That way in a worst case scenario (someone is using your phone to respond to your safety contact or you are being watched as you respond) you can let your contact know there is a problem without having to actually say that in your message.
You say the location does not feel safe. Safety is top priority. Cancel.
Cancel. You're perfectly justified.
I have canceled for the reasons given as her location was in a very high crime area after dark. No cuddle is worth becoming a crime statistic. Common sense and intuition should always be the deciding factors—not money or hurt feelings.
I put it on my profile that I won’t cuddle in seedy motels and that I expect clients to book a respectable hotel (I don’t expect a five star hotel, but at least something middle of the road like a Hilton or a Marriott). You need to be able to be comfortable in your environment in order to give the client the care and attention they deserve. There is no shame in having standards.
@AugustKitty Yes, as has been mentioned, trust your gut. The client and money are not worth it if something doesn't feel right.
Could be that they just found a better price and didn't take location etc into account. I'm a little choicey myself about hotels but can understand being on a budget. To some people only thing that matters is that it has 4 walls and a ceiling. Ultimately up to you to communicate that it's not acceptable to you.
i’d cancel, aside from safety reason a cheap hotel is more likely to be gross/unclean. i made that mistake once and was itchy all the way home lol i threw the clothes i was wearing away and took an hour long shower
@mimtheplantmom - I was just wondering what kind of water heater you have that gives you hot water for an hour?
If you agreed to a location when you were booking with a client and they changed that on you after the fact, you should put your safety first and you wouldn't be faulted for cancelling.
Thank you all so much! All went well me and client got to a agreement and a reason all is safe and sound!
Thanks for the follow-up, @AugustKitty! I'm glad you two were able to communicate and you felt safe in the end.
Very happy to hear it