Why I won't book you

JaneDough_

A lot of people have been complaining that I won't book with them.. here's SOME reasons why..

1. You message me talking completely about my looks
   (I'm not here to satisfy your ego, I am here to provide PLATONIC cuddles with people who genuinely understand the dynamic)
2. Ask if we can trade services. (If I want a massage I will book myself a spa day, at an actual spa)
3. You plan a day to book with me and the day of you seem to always have "something come up." (Stop wasting my time, I'm not here to just chit chat with you)
4. You have no karma and you've been on the site for years (screams red flag to me)
5. You have bad karma (self explanatory I'd say)
6. You didn't read my profile and are asking questions that I have clearly stated.

I hope that clears things up.

Happy cuddling 🥰

SoftHairForDays

But but buttttttt

It really does bother me when people ask me questions I’ve already answered

I used to have prewritten messages but thought it just smarter to add an FAQ section.

Also include your name? Are we that devoid of basic manners?

Hi my name is…?

MrAdmirer

If people are complaining to you, I doubt they are going to read this post either unfortunately.

JaneDough_

@SoftHairForDays lol I mean .. I should just be grateful that I'm being complimented based off something I have no control of, shouldnt I? Id definitely have a lot more bookings lol

@QueensCurryPuff manners, exactly! I love when people take the time to read my page before they message me and then tell me their name, a bit about themselves, it makes booking so much better for me. Lol as opposed to going through the whole process and then asking "how would you like to send deposit" then it's " I don't do deposits, sorry didn't read your profile" .. 😅 thanks for nothing buddy.

@MrAdmirer you're probably right, those people won't read this, but MAYBBBEEEEE other people will and can apply it. Lol I'm a dreamer.

sunnysideup

@JaneDough_ Those are all pretty fair points. Sadly you'll keep on having to sift through these messages.

For number 4, it's possible that maybe they joined a few years ago, got cold feet, then logged back in again just recently? Though, I don't blame you at all for putting your safety first for whatever you deem to be a red flag, since it's so much riskier to cuddle as a woman than a man.

KozyKim

Great post!! Very Helpful

JaneDough_

@sunnysideup that isn't something I actually considered, a could very well be a reason. And then in that case I would be flattered that they chose me as a safe choice for their first cuddle. But, it likely won't be something I change, as sometimes even when they have good karma, I have NO clue how they got it.

JaneDough_

@KozyKim thank you. great profile ☺️

handy_celtic

Oh. I thought the only reason I don’t get booked is because I’m not buff like a fireman.🙃 NOT. I have met a few enthusiasts and Pro(s) and they are WONDERFUL!!!

JaneDough_

@handy_celtic 🤣 silly.

sunnysideup

@JaneDough_ And that's totally understandable! People have passed on profiles for much smaller issues.

Bear

@JaneDough_

This was interesting, and very informational to read. Number for resonated because I’ve been here for almost 10 years and I was off for a while. A long while. I came back on, and I was not aware of the pros. And I started participating in the forms to be seen and heard. Which is also brought traffic to my profile. By talking to people, I have gotten to connect with a few pros. Every time I read about security concerns and such I will add stuff to my profile that helps. How I’ve gone to cuddle parties and learned about consent culture is one example. Being that I’m trying to be a conscientious I wouldn’t have a problem I have some money was not feeling secure in booking with me. I Work to try and be open and available.

I also read the profile before I ask any questions that I don’t find in the profile. Unfortunately, he has already mentioned the people who irritate you by what you mention, probably will not read this either, lol.

Take care.

pmvines

@JaneDough_ but why ???? Argg !!!!

Mike403

@JaneDough_ - About the karma or lack thereof, if they've been on here for years and they haven't been banned yet then they might just have never booked anyone. Pros can be expensive and enthusiasts are hard to find.

CuddleDuncan

I would concur with the reservations about no Karma being a red flag in and of itself for longstanding members. There are lots of perfectly reasonable circumstances in which this could occur. An orange flag, perhaps - worthy of investigation.

Mike403

Mods can read "private" messages that are reported and inappropriate ones that hints at them being here for anything other than platonic results in an instant ban.

beaubliss

Love your name @JaneDough
I think this topic is helpful, regardless whether or not the offending inquirers read it. Perhaps it will encourage others to say why they don't book too. Likewise, it may be helpful for pros to hear why clients don't book particular pros too.

The looks part that inquiries mention, well, doesn't it depend upon how they mention it? If they remark they really like your smile, or your mischievous look.....that may be acceptable? Or what if they said "I love your session description AND you're just so darned cute".....would that deter you from booking?

Just curious

CuddleDuncan

It's almost always rude to mention somebody's looks in a first message. (Well ... it's almost always rude in any context.) It's particularly insulting to do so to a professional because it's an implicit slur on their professional expertise.

In the particular case of a man commenting on the looks of a woman obviously it's extra insulting for historical and social reasons.

"... and you're just so darned cute" is arguably a breach of the terms of service and I would urge anybody receiving such a message to Report the offender.

cde123

I think it's more about the intent behind the words, because I don't see anything non-platonic about gentle compliments like "you look great today" after somebody has obviously put in the effort. Intentionally starving people of reasonable compliments isn't good either.

TheFunCartel

Ok, ok I fall into all 6 of your categories. But what is the real reason you won’t cuddle me?

Lisa123

@BoomerSpooner 😆

JaneDough_

@sunnysideup I do pass for 'much smaller issues' as well 😅 this is only 6 of much much more.

@Bear I'm not quite sure what you're saying about money at the end, or what that has to do with #4 but I am a little more open to it as situations like these occur. But, still stands. And #6 is just one of many and that's okay,but reading is fundamental and those who don't take the time to read won't get my time to cuddle. It's nice when someone like you takes the time to actually go beyond the picture.

@pmvines I'm looking for more reasons now ! 🧟‍♀️

@Mike403 I understand that there are reasons why someone doesn't have any karma, but these are just my personal boundaries and what I feel. Not everyone has the same boundaries as me. As I said, people who message me talking about only my looks is a boundary crosser, I know others who it isn't. I'm only speaking for myself and why I don't book these people.

@beaubliss first, thank you. And to answer, If someone sends me a message complimenting my smile, I will kindly accept the compliment. And that won't deter me from booking. Now, as far as if they said "mischievous smile" absolutely not... There is nothing mischievous that is going on, red flag.. won't be booking. People who make it known that they want to book me because they think I'm "so darned cute" isn't something I feel comfortable with as they are already looking at me in a way of attraction. My looks have nothing to do with my work and those who understand that are those who I book with.

@CuddleDuncan perfectly stated

@cde123 yes, that's true. But I'm not here to be complimented on my looks. I'd rather be complimented on being great at my job and the person feeling a sense of wholeness once I've gone, those are the best compliments. And the only ones that matter to me, in this environment.

@BoomerSpooner do you want me to tell you here, for the cuddle comfort world to see, or should I private message 🤣

JustPlaneCuddle

THIS, THIS, THIS!

"Hey Beautiful." Instantly, I cringe.

JaneDough_

Me too @JustPlaneCuddle and then I think of how I can nicely reply back (cause it doesn't come easy) and let them know that my looks have nothing to do with my work as a cuddler. Like we're some arm candy. So annoying.

bobadevotee

Lmao, on point #6

I’m about ready to make a Google form quiz, and if they don’t get 100%, I won’t speak to them. Had someone recently pretend they read my profile, and then it became abundantly clear they didn’t.

cuddlefaery

I have a cuddle agreement I use off site (in Google Forms and print format) that I've debated sending to potential clients here, but since this isn't where I get most of my bookings from I've been rather meh about it. It basically covers most of the same rules and policies CC and my profile states, but having to actually sign their name to something that feasibly could be legally binding generally makes people think twice... Or rather it would if people EVER bothered to read what they sign 🙄🤦 I know from all the other industries I've worked it, people regularly sign contracts and agreements without having the faintest idea what they're agreeing to and then LOVE to argue after the fact as if that's an excuse.