To my second part I will add that it comes to an issue being that a lot of times people want me to host I'm not comfortable hosting because I live in an open area I don't want people to know where I live or to feel casual to show up whenever I don't live in a gated community so at this moment I'm not hosting as far as ethnicity goes I'm a black woman so I am not a racist towards anyone and most the people that I've cuddled have been from different ethnicities I've never had anybody be disrespectful to me but I think it's also because I've been selective with who I've cuddled so far
@GreatHornedOwl this saddens me deeply. I would never go off age. I'm sorry you've had a difficult time finding cuddles. 😔
I feel like if people are going off age, race and being picky at all they are taking away from the whole purpose of this... If you have a certain standard doesn't that make it more like a potential dating thing? I don't understand why anyone would try to 'match' with someone on this site. Just my 2 cents. 🤷♀️
We're all here for a reason. Touch therapy. No wonder why people are nervous to send pictures and think they're going to get rejected.... that IS NOT the purpose. The purpose to see someone's picture is to know who I'm talking to for my own comfort, has absolutely nothing to do with their looks, EVER. So I'm sorry for those of you that have been filtered out because you don't meet people's matching profile. I'm actually bothered by this. Anyways, sorry for the rant.
Ya'll should be a little bit more open and caring. 🤗💜
Man, who knew raising an 8 year old post from the dead would get this much response. Love all the responses, hugs to everyone!!!
@KamikaziNinja86 I literally just realized now 😅 & now I know what pmvines did / meant lol
@DeathbyChocolat - I want to make sure that I'm understanding you properly. Aside from the fact that we're about 1,800 mules apart, do I understand that you want to cuddle with somebody who shares your political views (which (I totally approve of), and that you wouldn't cuddle with me, because people my age tend to have political views that differ from you own" Would it be too much trouble to check out my profile, or even ask me what my political views are?
Applying a racial stereotype to you, I should assume that you're a liberal. I will tell you that I am most likely at least as liberal as you are. I resent that you should assume that my political views are "wrong." Would that convince you to cuddle with me, or would you just dream up some other reason not to cuddle with an old guy?
If you would use my age as a reason not cuddle with me, Is that any different than a man who would refuse to cuddle with you because you're black, and he (rightfully or wrongfully) believes that black people tend to be poorly educated criminals? You would think that he must be very foolish, wouldn't you? You would be right too.
Your age discrimination is every bit as wrong, as is somebody else's race discrimination.
@Jillybear87 For enthusiasts, I’m looking for more of a connection and less focused on looks. But for professionals, I tend to select professionals I find attractive, even though all activity is platonic. Because I’m paying for it, I figure they may as well be attractive (to me, there’s a subjective element to beauty) if I’m shelling out 100’s of dollars. I’m not sure if that puts me in the ‘bad actor’ category.
@GreatHornedOwl
Can we agree that it would be okay to discriminate on the basis of age, race, and gender in choosing a sexual partner or spouse? And I’m pretty sure that we both agree it would be wrong to do it in choosing an employee or even in offering therapeutic massage services.
If we are in agreement so far, then is the touching, body contact, and bonding of platonic cuddling more like having sex (where discrimination is okay), or more like getting a massage (where discrimination isn’t)?
For me as an enthusiast, it’s closer to sex, so discrimination is okay. But for pros, it’s closer to a therapeutic massage so discrimination is not okay.
And YES YES YES, I know that platonic cuddling and sex have nothing to do with each other. Read what I wrote carefully. The two concepts are in the same sentence only to help illustrate a larger point.
@homeboy - We are not in agreement so far, or at all. Assuming that by sexual partner you are not referring to an escort, or a one night stand pickup, then choosing a sexual partner or a spouse, are both fundamentally different from choosing a cuddle partner. Whats more, contrary to your main argument, the difference has absolutely nothing to do with sex.
Rather, the main difference has to do with the expected duration of the activity. A cuddle partner is someone with whom you expect to share, at most, a few hours of time. When choosing a sexual partner, you are anticipating sharing the rest of your life, or at least a major part of it.
The other big difference would lie in the consequences of choosing badly, If you make a poor choice of a cuddly partner, you might suffer a few uncomfortable hours. If you make a poor choice of a sexual partner or spouse, the consequences are likely to be far greater.
Just an FYI - according to CC rules, pros are not allowed to discriminate based on race, age, gender or sexual orientation. Furthermore, they must be capable of “being affectionate to anyone”.
@JohnR1972 Just an FYI most male pros here do not cuddle all genders. Most only cuddle women. It's a suggestion more than a requirement.
If a 20 year old doesn't want to cuddle with someone her dad's age or older that's a personal decision. We don't know why she feels that way. It could stem from abuse, often sexual. We are allowed to screen our clients as we see fit. The site is not going to force us to see clients we are not comfortable with.
With regard to the duration of the activity, I intentionally called out both "sexual partner" and "spouse" because I see them as different. I see "sex partner" as including escorts, one-night stands, Tinder dates, bar pickups, prostitutes, blind dates that turn sexual, etc. while a spouse is a life partner. So I think of both sexual partners and cuddle partners as short-time experiences of maybe a few hours.
I agree with you that the consequences of choosing badly can have dire consequences. But the subject here is whether any of the three named types of discrimination are ever appropriate, or whether they are always wrong no matter what.
@Rezz - I completely agree. And, if a white enthusiast doesn't want to cuddle with black men, that is her choice, and it is perfectly within the rules. She should be able to make that choice. However, pretending that you don't discriminate, just because discrimination is allowed, Is at best, disingenuous.
@Rezz thanks for the clarification about suggestion vs requirement.
I completely support everyone’s (enthusiast and pro) right to decline Cuddling anyone they are not comfortable with but the wording on the CC site regarding “requirements” made it sound like a pro could not just make a blanket statement about refusing anyone over a certain age.
@homeboy - -Okay, I'll concede one point. When I said that ".....age discrimination is every bit as wrong, as is somebody else's race discrimination," "wrong" was a poor choice of words. It's entirely too strong for the circumstances. I'm having trouble finding the the right word. Possibly "misguided" would have a better choice.
There is a difference between discrimination and preference. When it comes to what we do in our perosnal lives pertaining to out own self interests, preference is what guides us .
@pmvines - I think that the difference between preference, and permissible discrimination is mostly semantic.
@GreatHornedOwl Saying someone could “rightfully” judge you as criminal and uneducated based on your race just because they prefer not to cuddle with you because of your age is inherently racist.
The fact that you have to resort to the easiest narrative on racial discrimination because you feel discriminated against in an argument about age and political views is just testimony to your own bias.
If she were a white female would you have been so apt to highlight her race in your argument or would you have kept it on the age and political front?
If I read her post correctly, she indicated no racial bias or discrimination towards anyone on account of their race so you’re targeting her on account of hers is not only disappointing but severely opportunistic and a deplorable character fault.
I guess you sort of proved her point.
@GreatHornedOwl you really went and proved @DeathbyChocolat ‘s point, and this is hilarious to watch
@DeathbyChocolat you’re completely entitled to your preferences. Your safety is paramount, and filtering out folks who are more likely to have ignorant, hateful views towards you based on your identity is completely reasonable. Do whatever you need to do to feel safe. It’s wild how I see so many men in these forums complain about pros who leave the site due to safety concerns, but then tear down pros who are taking measures to feel safe.
Y’all want pros to stay so badly, then don’t bother them when they take safety measures.
To answer the main question: in my personal life, age definitely matters when it comes to cuddling. More so, the appearance of age matters. If someone looks close to my age but is way older than me, I’m still fine with that. Race and gender don’t matter much.
Age matters like the profiles on this thread from 2015. They're older and gone. Older people don't stay here long, male or female. Age matters on CC, but not to me. I'm still here and beating the odds.
I’ve cuddled men and women, from age 21 to 66, from many different cultures and backgrounds. It’s all wonderful. ❤️
I’m sort of in the middle of age groups at 40. I’d be comfortable with any age 18 plus. I have a good friend I cuddle that’s 62 but I could cuddle older people.
@PrettyLuv - You have completely misunderstood what I said. What I actually said was that someone would be VERY FOOLISH to reject a black person because he (falsely) believed the racial stereotype that black people tend to be poorly educated criminals?
@bobadevotee - I did nothing of the sort. If you had read what I said to her. To say it in different words, I told her that believing that I would be likely to be a political conservative because of my age was as foolish as it would be for me to believe that she was likely to be a poorly educated criminal because of her race. Judging anybody because of some stereotype is just plain dumb.
You told @DeathbyChocolat "Your safety is paramount, and filtering out folks who are more likely to have ignorant, hateful views towards you based on your identity is completely reasonable." Actually, she said nothing about "folks who are more likely to have ignorant, hateful views....." That might be completely reasonable, but only it there were a way to discern who would be LIKELY to hate her because of her race. Perhaps, you might be suggesting that she filter out all southerners because they are more LIKELY to be racists? than are northerners?
On a purely statistical basis that stereotype is probably as accurate as the stereotype that old people are more likely to be politically conservative than are young people. If you know anything about statistics, then you realize that statistics of this type may be meaningful when applied to a large group, but are not meaningful when applied to an individual.
I'm not really certain, but I have a feeling that you may have been accusing me of being a racist. I assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. I have sent essentially the same message to all possible (based on matched time and location availability) within a 50 mile radius. Sometimes, I added to a message to point out things that we have in common. I made absolutely no distinction regarding race, and I would be happy to cuddle with any of those women.
I don’t know about others, but you can sense a vibe. I would not want to cuddle someone if I sense they didn’t want to cuddle me for whatever reason—-age, race, education, sexual orientation, class—-whatever the reason. While those items I mentioned should never be a reason for discrimination or prejudice I have lived long enough to know that people have preferences. I would not want to cuddle someone that is repulsed by me for some reason but cuddle me anyway because they feel it is the right thing to do, politically correct, or the fear of being perceived as an -ist.
Prejudice is taught, preferences are innate.
@FunCartel - Not sure why education plays a factor unless it's cuddle training.
@Mike403 you are naive if you don’t think people discriminate based on education. I built pools for quite awhile as an undergraduate and constantly heard the derisive “hey college boy”. Likewise, I have heard educated people talk in hushed tones about someone uneducated. I had a cuddler tell me she liked me at the end of a session but she felt intimidated because I had a few degrees. She asked me if I had a degree and when I said yes I have three, and then followed up with the what is the highest degree and I said PhD she became quiet. When I asked her what was wrong she said that I made her feel stupid. I tried to tell her stupid has nothing to do with education and I know some pretty stupid professors. But you just can’t account for how anyone looks at anything now days. Political leanings shouldn’t matter but they do. Diet shouldn’t matter but one cuddler once mocked me jokingly because I am a vegetarian. It’s all so silly, but it exists.
@FunCartel - I didn't say it didn't happen. I just said I don't know why it matters. It's cuddling. Education may matter more to somebody looking for a life partner.
@Mike403 why should age or race matter? But it does to some apparently. People are a puzzle
@FunCartel - Because physical appearance matters to many people when getting that intimate with them. If they never tell me their education level, I will never know.