Is it ok to cry during a cuddle?

DaddyO2022

I am wondering how people feel about someone crying a bit during a cuddle session. I personally understand that is what may happen if someone has not had affection from someone in a long time, it has happened to me. What are your thought and experiences?

CozyCocoa

Maybe they're going through something traumatic so of course it's ok.

Jova114

Crying is always a positive thing.
It's a way of healing.

If that happened to me I would just ask if there is anything I can do to help the situation

cuddlefaery

Is it ok? Absolutely. Emotions are valid and bound to come bubbling up in intimate situations like cuddling.

But how the other person reacts is out of your control. They may react positively, empathetically, and lean into it - encouraging you to express your feelings and get some catharsis. Or they may have their own traumas triggered, feel uncomfortable with relative strangers expressing strong emotions, or struggle with not knowing how to react.

If you have not discussed how to handle strong emotional reactions in advance with your cuddle partner, be prepared to excuse yourself if they seem uncomfortable so that you are not burdening them without consent. Asking someone in the moment "is this ok?" while emotionally charged can often feel like a loaded question, so it's better to discuss those sorts of boundaries before or after a session when both are feeling relatively calm and supported.

There's nothing wrong with excusing yourself for a few minutes to have a good cry, take some deep breaths, refresh yourself if that is what you need. Of course it might be even better if your cuddler is prepared to hold your hand through it, but not everyone is equipped to do that and that's ok.

Either way, if you anticipate this sort of reaction because of what is going on in your life or your general nature, having a candid discussion on boundaries with your cuddle partner is a great idea. 💖

P.S. personally? I love a good cry and am happy to cuddle or sit side by side right through it. Sometimes just having a kind presence there, not judging my ugly red and streaky face, can be so comforting. Even better if they don't care if I make their shirt shoulder a bit damp 😅 I don't let go often in front of others, so when I do it can be a massive release - I am always happy to provide that for others.

ShaneSchrute

There’s something extra vulnerable about cuddling that can put you in touch with emotions and can give you unique access to feelings.

I think it’s usually good, powerful and can help. There are exceptions of course. If someone is crying because they’re upset or hurt about what’s happening in the session then that should be addressed. I was once in a session that was going really badly; the person I was cuddling with seemed to not want to be there. That was sad and upsetting.

Jova114

@cuddlefaery
You can dampen my shoulder any day
😊

Not for everyone. I’m not in a position where I would want a cuddle partner to cry. I need someone to take care of themselves so they don’t put that on me inadvertently. It wouldn’t be okay for me.

HumbleBaron

No

avebae

I think crying is a great way to release emotions so they don't get bottled up and lead to even more stress, but I would mind if someone cried during a session. Nothing's wrong with it - I'm notoriously a crybaby, but I usually cry alone lol. I have trauma related to others, especially men, expressing strong emotions, so I wouldn't be comfortable with someone crying while in a session.

I had someone message me the other day asking if it was okay to cry, and I told him that I wasn't the cuddler for him and he would probably benefit more from another Pro who has specialities in that area. So I would say just ask beforehand.

cuddlefaery

@Jova114 likewise, friend 🤗 I'll bring the tissues and we can watch some good sad/happy movies together with some cuddles to get all the good feels 🤗

Runawaycuddles

I'm a total hypocrite on this topic because of a cuddler started crying I would absolutely support them and support that catharsis, but if I started to feel like crying I'd instantly try to shut it down 😅🤦🏼

@Runawaycuddles I expect I'd do the same thing. It can be really difficult to be so vulnerable with another human being. Like you mentioned, I support the cathartic nature of it in others, yet I find it extremely difficult to really let myself cry in front of my friends, even close friends.

CuddleDuncan

It's very common for people to cry during a cuddle session. One report suggested that as many as 40% of professional cuddle sessions involve crying.

So yes, it is OK to cry during a cuddle.

Nature_Lover_

Absolutely ok to cry with me. I enjoy the trust and vulnerability. It's king of an honor to hold space for the heavier side of life. I've definitely cried while cuddling.

OhioMike

...and just to turn it around some, I have definitely shed a tear or two when laughing so hard during cuddling! 😂

PixiePassions

It's a personal preference thing, but for me I'd absolutely be fine with a client crying. In fact I'm pretty sure I've had a couple who got choked up. It should be a safe space for people to do that if needed. It's incredibly cathartic and important to mental health.

Nature_Lover_

@OhioMike laughing so hard you cry is the best ! Nice turn around

JoyfulHeart

@Nature_Lover_ I would feel 100% safe crying in your presence.

Mela_B

I have had people cry, and I have cried. It's normal.

Snickerdoodle17

I'm not a big crier but I have shed a tear or two during a cuddle session and the pros were very supportive and allowed me to talk if I wanted to or just to hold me

CuddleBear567

I have had a pro cry during a session and I was okay with it. I know that all people, pros and enthusiasts, need a safe space to express emotions. The crying wasn’t planned at all and she was feeling overwhelmed because she hadn’t heard positive words of affirmation in a long time. Now, would I cry in a session, heck no. I’m to busy wrastling tigers, bears, alligators, and great whites. We don’t do feelengs around here ya’ll.

BoomerSpooner

Yes crying is fine as long as you wipe your trauma snot on your own sleeve.

pmvines

Why would it not be ?

cuddlefaery

@BoomerSpooner that's what the tissues are for. Though I've worked with kids so long I probably wouldn't even notice snot on my clothes tbh 😂

RedFox16

@DaddyO2022 Right!? Human touch is so powerful that a good cuddle can release intense emotion....or even just a good hug 😉 A good cry is an amazing release for anyone! I'm a huge fan 😎

As good of a release that crying is....it's even better in a safe space with an empathetic cuddle partner!! To feel like you can be vulnerable with another human, and also be wrapped up in the arms of someone caring and secure is the best place for this, if I had to choose 😏

I've had clients feel comfortable enough to cry during sessions....and those have been fantastically healing sessions.

CuddleHugs01234

I’d say yes, it’s okay to cry.

quixotic_life

Yes and no...

Yes ~ if while cuddling one's eyes unexpectedly start leaking. It's lovely when a safe space is created.

No ~ if one knows full-well they're a hot mess and didn't clear it with their cuddle partner first. Especially so if they're charging for their time. I just feel to do so would be really inconsiderate and would put the other person in an akward position.

Minestrone101

Sure.

sillysassy

@DaddyO2022 Welcome to the site!! This is a very thought provoking question and I am always so grateful for a community that has such a varied perspective.

I love that everyone is pretty much in agreement that any emotion is valid and we shouldn't be trying to shut anything down but instead communicate and discuss it. I know that as a female enthusiast.... It is a lovely thing when I or the person I am planning to snuggle with mentions if they are working through some heavy stuff so we can each be somewhat prepared for the possibility of strong emotions. It gives your cuddle partner a chance to say "I can be the shoulder today" or "I am too! We can commiserate" or "Gosh, I don't think I am in a place where I can effortlessly hold space for that, my cup is pretty empty too."

What has wound up happening in my experience is that it winds up opening communication lines which leads to much better cuddle connections.

Of course this is when you KNOW that you're trying to work through some stuff. Of course unexpected wetness flowing from our eyes is a pretty natural reaction to holding or being held like @quixotic_life mentioned. I think there's a lot of people who want to be a safe space.

The one thing I have heard repeatedly throughout the years is that it is very uncomfortable (and some would even say triggering) when cuddle partners are looking for or NEED a /Counselor and instead book a cuddle from a Pro or schedule with an Enthusiast. Unless someone is specifically trained then it can wind up being complicated for BOTH people in that situation.

Thank you for your willingness to ask the hard questions and as always.... May the Cuddle Gods be EVER in your favor!!

@OhioMike 🤣😂😁 AGREED!!!

I haven’t cried in a very long time. I grew up in a world where “boys don’t cry”. I lost my mother to cancer and I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t because I had to support my siblings during their mourning. I can be a shoulder to cry on… I internalise my own emotion. That said… if the dam does burst, I think it’s going to be epic.

pmvines

I see nothing wrong with it but also realize you can't expect an interwebs stranger to react the same way a trusted friend would,.or a clinician in a clinical setting. I am also one who usually only cries out of severe frustration or anger, and I'm not going to be cuddling someone when I'm in that mindset which would potentially leave them feeling upset, as possibly feeling responsible for cleaning up my mess which isn't fair.