Platonic kiss?

edited February 2015 in General
I was wondering what anyone might think about a kiss during cuddling,, because although a kiss is mostly usually a romantic gesture, in context, that level of affection can make a session even more oxytocin-rich, although even in the context of "platonic kiss" it might at best walk the line between platonic affection and romantic affection. But that's even if a difference exists :o (besides of course sexual interaction can't be just platonic, but that's not nearly what I'm talking about)
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Comments

  • Depends on the boundaries and understanding between the people involved. I suspect that just dropping it in there would lead to a cascade of misunderstood intentions and discomfort.
  • [Deleted User]GoodHands (deleted user)
    You used the magic word: context. Scene 1: My cuddle buddy and I are lounging on a sofa sectional. It's broad daylight, we're fully dressed, doing  a little snuggling in front of the TV. She knows me well. I kiss her on the forehead. That's affection, but with zero sexual overtones. Scene 2: My cuddle buddy and I are in bed, under the covers. The only light is from the the few candles in the room. We are in sleepwear, chosen to maximize skin-to-skin contact.(Purely for the oxytocin, right?) We are holding each other tight, arms and legs intertwined. If our lips meet, that kiss is a whole different thing. It's still fine  if we are both comfortable with it, but it's rapidly leaving Platonic airspace and approaching the border of Friends with Benefits.  Advance communication about the intended destination and flightpath seems essential here, or you might find yourself permanently grounded..
  • This is an issue of communication and comfort between people. Bringing up the science of what cuddling does and seeking the highest amount of Oxycontin possible just derails the focus: making sure you and your partner know your boundaries, can communicate what those boundaries are, and respect them. If you are okay with a kiss (platonic or not), then that's all that matters. Trying to define reasons why it's okay/wrong why it's happening?...just no...all that matters is the relationship you have with your partner in crime. ;)
  • I would talk about it first and see if the other person is OK with it.  I would be OK with it, and I think a lot of people would.  But if they are not, and you surprise them with anything more than a peck, it could cause them to question your motives and lead to disillusionment about the concept of Cuddlecomfort.

    But it is a kind of affection that a lot of people need, and there's nothing wrong with two people mutually agreeing to fulfill this need for each other.

  • Yeah I should have specified, I meant like what if there's just a kiss, not making-out kissing :p and most definitely yeah, but I guess my real question is kind of like if a kiss just kind of happened as a result of cuddling, just a smickety-smack, but in the lips, would that necessarily breach the boundaries of the platonic in an aromantic cuddling session
  • [Deleted User]GameStriker4481 (deleted user)

    I know that kissing is not always a romantic gesture, but wouldn't like a kiss on a cheek, hand, forehead, or even a quick one on the lips be against the Client Service Agreement? The aforementioned is more platonic than romantic. The CSA just says "No kissing is allowed." So I take it that includes Platonic kissing?

  • I agree. This particular CSA rule is kind of ambiguous and confusing...

  • I interpret it more black and white than ambiguous. For simplicitys sake no kissing of any kind on any body part. Yes there is absolutely platonic kissing but also people have their own comfort level. So keeping that in mind it's best to go with no kissing and if there is something platonic that you feel that you want to try ask before doing it to make sure that you are both comfortable.

  • True. Except in regards to this site, the CSA is supposed to be hard and fast rules. Rules which, if you break, can get you banned. So what type of kissing is the CSA talking about? People have different comfort levels yes, but they can't go beyond the CSA with clients here, even if comfortable, without risk of getting banned.

  • Everyone knows there are platonic kisses and non-platonic kisses but people will interpret them differently. According to this site, no kissing of any type is allowed with a pro. With a non-pro, it's up to you and your fellow cuddler with each other's permission.

  • [Deleted User]GFreddie (deleted user)

    It’s really more cultural. In the U.S., a kiss is almost always taken as a sign of affection. And there’s nothing wrong with a little affection when snuggling. Don’t make this a rocket science project. Allow the affection, but disallow it when corresponding body language suggests it’s leaning toward romance.

  • @GFreddie I think that women would be very uncomfortable with your response. Also as the pro it’s up to you to maintain the boundaries that are required and stated on this site. If you said that to me as a client I would consider it a red flag and not meet with you. But that’s just me cause I’m a stickler for the no kissing rule.

  • @GFreddie not making it rocket science , but I do agree with @AshleyCuddles . Saying there is nothing wrong with it and to just let if happen and just pay attention to body language implies that you might be looking for more, and also that you might not necessarily be thinking about consent but rather just trying it and see what happens.

  • While there can be different personal or cultural views on what a kiss means or is intended to mean between people (family or otherwise) and while I would agree a kiss can be platonic or non-platonic depending on the intention for the kiss, the CSA clearly says is the Session Rules "No kissing is allowed." So regardless if it's a sign of affection, platonic or otherwise, it isn't allowed if you are having a session with a Pro.
    @GFreddie As a Pro, it is up to you to hold Clients to the Client Service Agreement and to maintain the rules yourself. Being reported for breaking the CSA is, as a Client or a Pro, grounds to be banned from the site.

  • NOT on the lips! ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! The forehead, yeah, I can see that, but the lips, NO WAY!!!

  • In my opinion, a kiss on the lips has to be romantic. Which is why it seems weird to me when some grandmothers kiss their grandkids on the mouth. Yuck!

  • edited March 2018

    Consent and context. Each individual has different boundaries. I think platonic kisses are on the cheek or forehead. Anything else is romantic/sexual, in my opinion. That's why I'm not comfortable with family kissing on the lips. To each their own, though, as I know that few who kiss family on the lips think of it as romantic or sexual - I, personally, just feel like there are some things that have a set "meaning" that isn't great to do with someone outside of that context, just because you can.

    Like, some things just seem inappropriate, even if your intentions aren't.

    @GFreddie, in the nicest possible way, that sounds like a creepy, uncomfortable situation. When in a relationship with someone, just trying for a first kiss is appropriate, if the body language is right. When in a cuddle buddy situation, it isn't appropriate without expressed consent beforehand because it's crossing boundaries. It's the same way that, even in a relationship, you don't just try something they may be uncomfortable with or not ready for, just because you're interpreting their body language, instead of discussing it first.

  • [Deleted User]CabotCoveHugs (deleted user)
    edited March 2018

    @GFreddie I'm sure you didn't mean it when you wrote it, but I agree with @AshleyCuddles, @pmvines and @CuddleBug1995 - it would absolutely make most people uncomfortable if someone just assumed they were okay with kisses outside of a relationship or familial connection. Your intention may be platonic, but consent is incredibly important. If I was caught off-guard with it, I'd leave and possibly report it to the site because reading body language is never completely clear and people who are content in a cuddle could fairly easily be misread as being comfortable with a random kiss, when they actually wouldn't be.

    Also, out of curiosity, you're a pro but only cuddle with women, when this site requires pros to be open to cuddling everyone, regardless of age, gender, body type, etc.?

    I'm also with CuddleBug1995 when it comes to platonic kissing. Some friends kiss each other on the lips and it's up to them, but it does make me wonder why some consider a peck on the lips less romantic/sensual/sexual than a kiss on the neck. I find both are a couple/FwB thing because both generally trigger those feelings and it's usually causes temptation to kiss again.

    Don't get me wrong; I know most families don't see kissing each other on the lips as sexual, as CB1995 said, but it can be confusing (for outsiders and those involved) when you take something primarily for couples/intimacy and use it in a platonic/familial context. I was raised with no lip kissing from my family, but my cousins were raised with lip kissing, so they always kissed me on the lips as children and it made me uncomfortable. It even led to them trying more "couple-y" kisses on us when we were about 10, like longer pecks on the lips and such when we were playing games. It can be a difficult situation for children to navigate, when they are raised to do things that cross other people's boundaries or when you don't know how to tell someone you're not okay with it, particularly when you're a child - or even as an adult and are concerned about repercussions of "rejecting" what they consider platonic. They grew out of it at about 13, when it became clear to them that (in their opinion) only couples kiss on the lips and platonic kisses are on the forehead or cheek.

    The main thing is consent and communication, with context thrown in as the environment can definitely change the atmosphere and reaction to certain actions, like kissing or caressing.

  • [Deleted User]mrcuddleuk (deleted user)

    @CabotCoveHugs very well said.

  • [Deleted User]CuddleYou89 (deleted user)

    To me, a kiss on the lips does not equal romantic or sexual. Open mouth/making out, yeah of course... but not a closed mouth. I personally wouldn't kiss the lips of someone I am cuddling with unless it was felt between the two of us that we both wanted it. But while cuddling, I'm more of a kissing other parts person... face, neck, arms, chest. I don't think that's sexual. To me it just feels like showering someone with sweetness. Making someone feel special. While I like to do that, kissing is not mandatory for me. I just like closeness, overall.

  • [Deleted User]MoonlightSonata (deleted user)

    I am personally more of a casual cuddler. I don't know if I would be comfortable with anything outside of just platonic cuddling, snuggling, and hugs.

    But it is different for everyone. People all have different ways of defining what cuddling means to them.

  • edited December 2019

    Hdnndnd

  • In my experience it's a BAD idea to say any kind of kiss is acceptable. Yes, a kiss on the cheek etc can be platonic and even seems reasonable. But it lends itself to clients seeing what they can get away with. If some clients are told "a kiss on the cheek is ok" they will do something like kiss your cheeks repeatedly for the entire session, and maybe they'll try to kiss your neck, etc. I may have had some nice long term client kiss me on the cheek goodbye and I wouldn't freak out at that, but if asked about kissing, I always say no.

  • Female Patient : "Please kiss me"
    Doctor : "I can't do that. It would break the fundamental doctor-patient relationship, and I'd be struck off the medical register. In fact, we probably shouldn't really be having sex"

    Imagine a man is about to undergo a digital prostate examination ; and the doctor asks if it is OK to turn the lights down, and put on some soft music.

  • @geoff1000 😂😂😂💀💀💀

    I wouldn’t suggest a “platonic kiss” during a session. Most cuddlers would perceive it that you want to escalate further or it would creep them out. Really it’s all about context and how the other person would feel about it.

  • Kissing on the cheeks might be OK, not the butt cheeks.
    Perhaps imagine that your mother is watching.

  • @geoff1000 that's a good one lol. If your mother is watching, you would think twice about doing it.

  • pushing the boundary limits by testing the waters

  • It's a matter of perception of the act itself. The intent, context and effect. To each his own.

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