@Bruin understands lol i couldnt have said it better myself
Think of a door which can be opened by pushing or pulling, and two people arriving at the same time. If both push, or both pull, there is a difficult awkward moment of accidental opposition.
Every so often, you meet someone who, for some reason, seems to pull or push in sync with you, and the door just falls open. Very rare, but very welcome.
I have a regular cuddler who always kisses me on the forehead before we part and I have someone I have cuddled with many times who now we get together just to get together, not even to cuddle but when we meet we hug and when we part we hug and I kiss his cheek. I would never be ok with a kiss on the lips and as @Bles stated it’s all about intent, context and effect.
I'm told that it takes about 10 seconds of contact to trigger oxytocin release, like holding a fire hose nozzle for a few seconds to fill the tube and get the water flowing.
I'm wondering if your start and finish hugs are like turning a tap on and then off ; and while you are together, some memory of previous cuddling, somehow keeps the tap on ?
Cuddling is very pleasant, but also time-consuming ; much better if you can be busy doing other things, while the mere proximity of the other person keeps the oxytocin flowing.
Also good if the flow continues while you are apart ; and the occasional meetings are like sticking on a new nicotine patch, or filling each other's gas tank.
@geoff1000 I like that thought about the beginning and end hug! I am a huge on hugs and sometimes depending on the individual I do feel an immediate increase of oxytocin, I think it all depends on their belief of someone’s aura, energy exchange, etc. certain cuddlers have said they feel it immediately as well. My cuddler that kisses my forehead said to me Friday he is amazed at the energy he gets from me and what’s crazy is how drained I feel at the end. It’s different with all my cuddlee's and how well they are willing to partake and let go during a session. I do certain things in my sessions to assure my cuddler is getting the most from me and is as relaxed as they can possibly get with a stranger. They are more accepting of letting go with each cuddle and allow themselves to take this energy from me. It is draining with certain cuddlee’s but knowing how much I made someone relax and let go is so worth it.
You are right cuddling is very time consuming and I have found with all my cuddles each of them have different needs and walk away from each session receiving different things, different thoughts and feelings.