Platonic kiss?

2

Comments

  • edited December 2019

    Geoff good point. I searched it cuz I was curious and it’s prob something everyone thinks about at some point during a session anyways.

  • edited December 2019

    I find the more clear and shared the boundaries, the better communication and same-pageness, and the more established the relationship and trust, the more I can do things that I wouldn't do with someone for whom the boundaries weren't clear and enthusiastically embraced. I've planted an affectionate peck on the cheek of one of my snuggle buddies and he's done the same, but after we established a super safe clear platonic context. If I didn't feel that shared commitment to the platonic, it wouldn't even occur to me.

    It's the vague, sketchy boundaries, gee-I-wish-i- could-move-this-toward-sex types that I wouldn't be doing that with. In fact, I hope not ro cuddle with those types. Maybe they can practice with our awesome pros for a while to get a better handle on the platonic. (Thanks pros.)

  • Sometimes there’s an attraction there, things happen, we’re all adults here but if you go on here specifically for seeing what you can get away with then you should look elsewhere cuz now the purpose of this site is defeated.

  • Maybe female pros could offer "extras" :
    Asking to kiss me =
    $100 + a slap across the face
    Asking for sex with me =
    $200 + a kick in the bollocks
    Non-pros would have to omit the financial elements.

  • [Deleted User]creedhands (deleted user)

    In order to avoid the whole platonic kiss issue, I tend to give a long wet lick on the nearest body part when the urge strikes. I mean, who doesn't want to be refreshed and clean in the middle of a cuddle?

  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)

    My rule with all platonic cuddle buddies is no kissing, not even platonic kissing. I find it tends to blur boundaries too much.

  • We may as well be discussing platonic intercourse, which I'm sure exists. Think of plucking a person's beard, one hair at a time ; there is no clear point at which the beard is gone, but each removed hair means less beard.

    "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step", also applies when the destination is unwelcome.

  • Whenever I have visited my parents, they insist I call to say I have arrived home safely. If anything happens to me after that, it wasn't because of the journey to visit them.

    If a couple has been paired up by the site, and decide they want to go beyond the site rules ; they should end the session, and leave the building, then come back and continue. That means it is no longer a site-arranged meeting, and the site is no longer responsible. It also ensures that neither side has been pressured or unreasonably tempted.

  • This is definitely a question that comes up over and over. Thanks for reviving it! So many good things were said. Different perspectives and different personalities. @littermate you are freaking amazing. I absolutely love your desire to find beauty in everything. Instead of saying something like “those arse holes who try and push boundaries should be forever shamed!” You say “thank you to the pros for being available and willing to help someone learn”. You have a beautiful soul. ♥️

    As for the kissing.... it ABSOLUTELY goes back to communication (I feel like this is a theme today. 😂)
    Like @littermate said... there is way more comfort when you have clear and expressed boundaries. Sometimes what is welling up in us is the desire to shower someone with your thankfulness. We have just traditionally done this with lip kisses. It’s kind of fun when you expand your connection by doing something out of the ordinary. Like a nose snuggle! Right in the neck!!! Respecting someone’s boundaries (male or female) is the highest compliment.

    @geoff1000 and @creedhands you guys are killin it!! 😂😂😂

  • How about an Inuit kiss, where they rub noses ? Maybe the site could adopt that as a standard.

    ( Best to avoid a Glasgow kiss, which is slang for a head butt.)

  • awww, thanks @sillysassy. I just feel like even boundary-pushing insensitive entitled folk have a human heart in there somewhere. And I'm continuing to discover just how little some men get relational training or practice before they are sprung on us loaded with testosterone and educated by the media and the locker room. Ack! Maybe some nice, gentle, non-shaming direction might help a few of them expand beyond the holy orgasm to the wide and yummy palette of relating.

  • edited December 2019

    Women cleansing the palate with nice guys lol

  • @littermate
    "relational training or practice"
    I think too many females won't let themselves have even a conversation on a bus, because they think the male will take this as too much of a lead on. Their fear is probably well-founded enough that we can forgive them, but it is one reason why male-female encounters become so polarised.

    My experience is that men who grew up with one or more sisters have a better balance, because during their formative years they had the frequent company of a non-optional female of a similar age.

  • Yup, sisters seem to help! <3

  • Lorena Bobbitt had a fairly reliable way to make sure her husband didn't push boundaries for a while.

  • @geoff1000 I love you and your ways, I know you're joking and trying to be an ally, but ouch and no! Responding to ignorance, insensitivity and entitlement with violence, not so into that myself, even joking.

  • It really all depends on context and the kind of relationship you and your cuddle buddy has. Kissing can blur the lines between platonic and non-platonic, so you have to be mindful. This is why you dicuss all of that beforehand. Be clear, be concise, don't assume and communicate, communicate, communicate.

  • @littermate
    Point taken. I have often kicked myself for my foolishness, which is anatomically quite difficult.

  • @geoff1000 Hugs not kicks! Fools need hugs. :)

  • Exactly. And on top of that, most women are someone.

  • @ilovestarwars
    If she is looking for a fairytale prince, she is probably also kissing a lot of frogs.

  • who are we discussing?

  • A theoretical cuddler who allows platonic kissing.

  • Growing up I have always had very close friends of the opposite sex . Some of them would peck on the cheek, lips , as a hello , goodbye , kind of thing . However those were people I saw as like family . I wouldn't expect that kind of closeness these days with someone I just met on the internet. I can see why that would cause blurred boundaries as you lack history with that person , and comfortable boundaries have not been tried and tested yet .

  • @pmvines you are so good with the word picture. _---comfortable boundaries have not been tried and tested yet--- _
    when someone is respectful of spoken boundaries it creates a lovely experience. I remember you said very clearly "there is nothing that I EXPECT. I think that is one of the major attitudes in your being such an excellent cuddle enthusiast. You truly let people just BE. :)
    And @AceofCuddles communication is KEY!

  • Any "relationship" is like loading a small boat. It is unstable at first, then as it gets more ballast, it becomes better at coping with an unexpected event.

    If you inflate a balloon, it can be burst with a pin ; but if you let out enough air first, the pin-hole just leaks gently.

  • @pmvines I also experience something sometimes with someone where I feel I know them after a very short time of hanging with them. Not sure what explains that, and it's often folks who feel "like me" in some way. I felt that with one snuggler where upon having tea I felt bonded enough to snuggle on the spot. Others who are of a different mode than me take me a while longer to know. If, where and how I want to snuggle with each will vary depending on that feeling of "you are my people." The person who is my best friend I felt kin to the minute I heard her speak.

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