Soulmates

lonelytauros

I’ve recently been questioning what my definition is of a soulmate, and I’d like to know what you think. Are there different levels of a soulmate for example can a friend be a soulmate do you have to be married to a soulmate? Do you have to be romantically involved for that person to be a soulmate? Is it possible to have more than one soulmate? Please share your thoughts.

PrettyLuv

Oh, this is a pretty cool one. I’d say your soulmate could be any one that shares your fundamental core values, some of which you’re not even aware of. And they can be virtually anyone - a friend, a person you just began a relationship with, someone walking by you on the street you’ve yet to meet, your neighbor, coworker - anyone.

I think if you do meet your soulmate though, you’d inevitably form a bond with them that’s too strong to break. It could manifest itself in the beginning as a friendship and then progress to marriage.

I don’t think a soulmate would stay a friend or stagnate though. I think they would only grow closer and deeper into your personal headspace, taking up more room with time.

I don’t think you have to be romantically involved though either, for them to be a soulmate. But there has to be an intrinsic connection somewhere that’s unbreakable from close by or even from the ends of the earth (so dramatic lol).

TxTom

I believe everyone has at least a few soulmates. The only problem is, they may have lived long ago or be living on a different continent. I believe soulmates are inseparable, and have an unbreakable bond, regardless of various circumstantial issues.

PrettyLuv

Oh yea, I forgot to answer that last part.
Is it possible to have more than one soulmate? Yes, definitely. I’m not polyamorous or anything, far from it, but I definitely think there’s a great many to choose from.

pmvines

I don't personally believe in soul mates myself. Wish I did kind of though. In fact there are a lot of things I wished I believed in that seems would add more wonderment and satisfaction to my life , starting with Bigfoot and working my way up to God. The idea of a soul mate is certainly appealing on different levels, just not something I can bring myself to believing.

TheFunCartel

I have soulmates. I have a fickle soul.

natickben

I believe soulmates are a myth, simply another word to define love. I have people in my life that will always be integral to my life. I lose them as much as I have ever loved anyone. I’m am not and will never be romantically or sexually interested in them. Are they not soulmates?

I love my daughter more than anyone else on the planet. Much of who I am is defined simply by her existence. But that is not a soulmate?

For romantic love, there are literally BILLIONS of people on the planet. The odds that anyone would meet their single “soulmate” are incalculable.

Runawaycuddles

I personally don't believe in soul mates as a concept, but I do know that the experience of finding one or multiple people who just click with you and form bonds deeper than the rest is real, I just don't think it's something that's best explained on a cosmic level.
Mathematically speaking of there was only one true soul mate for each of us among the 7+billion people living in the world during our lifetime, the chances of us ever meeting them are incredibly slim, and the chances they'd live in our town, go to our high school or work at our jobs etc. are basically nil.

But what does make that concept make sense is true monogamy, genuinely only loving one person romantically (at least one at a time, monogamous people who lose their spouse due to tragedy do often find another soul mate that they love just as deeply as the first) in ways that no one else can compare to. But there are definitely other kinds of love that aren't or can't be romantic that can be just as deep, and many people are not monogamous, and are fully capable of deeply loving more than one person in tandem romantically, monogamy is just the only socially acceptable way to form romantic attachments right now.

In my view, humans are capable of many loves as a baseline, even if people only want one romantically. We all love many people outside of romance in our lifetimes like family, friends, our communities, our fellow man etc. without feeling like there can be only ONE person we love in any other aspect of our lives, and rarely, we'll meet people who feel different, like the way soul mates do. I think, given that the human capacity for love we all share is so vast, limiting soul mates to just one and just one romantic partner denies far too much of the human experience for that theory to hold much weight.

Call it soul mates, call it twin flames, call it whatever you like, whatever you call it, that special connection that outshines the others for us individually in the way soul mates are described is rare on a global scale no matter what aspect of life they inhabit. Even if you end up with 20 by the end of your life that's still a miraculously miniscule number compared to the billions of options, and that's magic enough for me.

BJC

Whitman wrote several poems about soulmates. I've always liked this one. It's called "Among the Multitude":

Among the men and women the multitude,
I perceive one picking me out by secret and divine signs,
Acknowledging none else, not parent, wife, husband, brother, child, any nearer than I am,
Some are baffled, but that one is not—that one knows me.

Ah lover and perfect equal,
I meant that you should discover me so by my faint indirections,
And I when I meet you mean to discover you by the like in you.

BJC

The soulmate poem that captivates me the most, however, is by Rilke. It's the soulmate who, although hauntingly close, never in fact arrives—she "forever eludes." Rilke is recording his own experience, I am sure. He wrote it in Paris in the winter of 1913-14. The poem is untitled (translation by Edward Snow).

You the beloved
lost in advance, you the never-arrived,
I don’t know what songs you like most.
No longer, when the future crests toward the present,
do I try to discern you. All the great
images in me – the landscape experienced far off,
cities and towers and bridges and un-
suspected turns in the path
and the forcefulness of those lands
once intertwined with gods:
all mount up in me to signify
you, who forever eludes.

Ah, you are the gardens!
With such hope I
watched them! An open window
in the country house –, and you almost
stepped out pensively to meet me. I found streets,—
you had just walked down them,
and sometimes in the merchants’ shops the mirrors
were still reeling from you and gave back with a start
my too-sudden image.—Who knows if the same
bird did not ring through both of us
yesterday, alone, at evening?

Bear

I think a friend, a lover, or somebody close in general can be your soulmate. It’s like taking a large napkin and tearing it into pieces, and all those are soulmates. I believe there is only one twin flame.

TheFunCartel

My soulmate has always been James Brown

JohnR1972

I believe in soul “matches” - people who have just the right amount of similarities AND just the right amount of differences such that you can connect with them at a very deep level.

The way I have always heard it described, a soul mate is “THE ONE” for you and I do not believe in that concept. I know too many (seemingly) happy couples from India who were brought together through arranged marriages to believe their parents were able to find “THE ONE” for their child.

cocoabomb

Soulmates is a buzzword used by many to try to showcase their super special romantic love to everyone.
It’s rarely uttered in their subsequent divorce proceedings.

Even in platonic relationships, soulmates don’t exist, unless there’s no growth or change for both people.
That’s not something to boast about.
Core values evolve as life happens.
People drift apart.
How could anyone say they’re soulmates with someone they haven’t been in contact with for years?
Nostalgia rarely operates in reality.

pmvines

@cocoabomb I rarely tag a post just to.agree , but I agree 👍

WestsideMarc

Soulmates could be your G.O.A.T. absolutely favorite person in the world to do anything with.
Tango dancing soulmate, etc…

ShaneSchrute

It’s existence or nonexistence isn’t important to me. If it helped me or made me happy I’d be really into it.

If it kept me locked into a relationship that was unhealthy for me I’d drop it like a hot plate.

There are lots of things that are up for debate for a variety of reasons. But those debates aren’t as helpful as trying to figure out if the thing in question is good for you or not. Those are personal questions with individual answers for each person.

stormydaycuddle

@ShaneSchrute I thought soul mates were supposed to be perfect for you. So wouldn't they in a way adapt? Idk. I hope they fall on the happier side. Not picking anything apart.

If it kept me locked into a relationship that was unhealthy for me I’d drop it like a hot plate.

That's the only reason I ask. Then again definitions vary. Eh...The moment you realize that even this isn't a thread without controversy. Wasn't trying to start it so I'll leave what I was asking.