You are correct @lesmis33 . I'm assuming ya'll meant exacerbate instead of exasperate.
Brilliant catch @achetocuddle ! I did indeed mean to use exacerbate. My brain is taking its sweet timing booting up this morning. Thank you for correcting me! I will edit my message.
You are quite the wordsmith of this forum!
@MeetJoeBlack She is not saying that being a professional cuddler requires as much education as being a doctor or a lawyer. She is saying we are here to offer a service, not to pass the time with idle chit chat. Presumably, you also would not reach out to your local dry cleaner or pizza delivery service saying nothing but “hi.”
Similarly, when contacting a cuddler, it is best if your opening message includes not just a greeting, but also your specific questions if you have any, and/or suggestions for some possible times to meet. I’ll agree, as others have noted, that it’s just part of the landscape in this business. But I can certainly empathize with the tedium of sifting through an inbox full of messages that say nothing but “hey.”
@lesmis I am glad you took my spelling correction in the gentle spirit it was intended Not everyone does, lol. What can I say? I love words.
My wordsmithing is slipping tho. Sometimes I don't post because I can't think of the right words. Also it is not worth dealing with the churlish, lol.
@lesmis33 "invalidating speech" is being brought by both sides in this discussion, begun by the pros who resent some of the messaging received. But we cannot have such thin skin that literally any criticism "triggers" us. It is certainly a legitimate perspective to question the "pro" certification of the cuddler; there is no requirement other than the willingness to serve and the capacity to put down a credit card with CC. There is no certification required, no monitoring or accountability other than the incredibly skewed karma system. There is the simply stated "I am a pro cuddler", only authenticated in this community by receiving money for touch. Yes, one could still consider it a job, as many who have contributed their perspective have done, but the moniker "pro" could also be considered a questionable title for those using "invalidating speech" when complaining about potential clients reaching out with a "Hi, how are you" intro.
For the record, "pros" on here also reach out with similar message, surely not as often, but yet it does happen. I simply ignore those messages, as I only consider them to be drumming up business........unless they say something about what I have written as a profile, or referenced something mentioned in my karma, either received or given. But such messages don't bother me: I would imagine that those cuddlers must have at least a modicum of success in initiating contact that way, or they wouldn't continue doing it. And I sometime will go to their profile to see if in fact I might be interested in further communication with that individual.
This leads me to my final comment....I would recommend to the irritated pro cuddlers that they at least visit the profile of the messaging client to see if in fact he might be worthy of continued conversation? Maybe his profile says something you might value in a client? Or good karma? Or, at the very least, educate him in what works for you regarding communication, like "I received your brief greeting, but I prefer a more detailed message that suggests a level of interest, including a specific reason for wanting to connect with me".....or something of the sort.
Or you can simply deepen your own resolve to not be bothered by such messages, considering it to be a small part of the cuddling business world......and perhaps even take a small moment of satisfaction that something about YOU drew this interest for him to send his little note, that if you were to be honest, you would admit that the part of the minute that it took for you to read/erase this message was not really much time wasting. After all, some of us imagined that in the cuddling training to become a pro there must have been some discussion about the social awkwardness of many in the client community......and that you were professionally prepared to deal with such communication, both verbal and non-verbal.
Haven't read the whole thread but @beaubliss makes a lot of good points, tho the pros are not supposed to contact clients first. I would say more but don't want to start potentially unpleasant convo with the churlish and I also will not engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
@beaubliss I really enjoy your thoughtful and nuanced posts.
@beaubliss thank you for your thoughtful response. I was planning on responding to it in order to explain my thoughts in depth, but I am exhausted from work and the energy to have this discussion has been drained from me. I do apologize as I realize I am coming off as dismissive which I hope to assuage with this reply. One day, I will post my rant about invalidating speech and all the rhetorical skills I learned in therapy, but tonight is not that night. Please forgive me.
I have had some wonderful vacation poops. The combination of wandering on foot around the city and throwing caution to the wind with what I have been eating has really served my bowels well .
I’m much more likely to respond to that first only “hi” greeting if it also includes a photo. Even more points if they ask even one thing about cuddling or my profile - but I don’t expect that. There have been many times I’ve asked repeatedly for a photo during back-and-forth, several messages and they completely ignore it. To me that means they’re being sketchy, shady, hiding something about themselves. I generally won’t cuddle with the “007 Secret Agent, I am a VIP so I can’t send my photo” kind of person. It just sends off creepy vibes.
@carrieanne Would you consider this 007? 😂
Wild that folks immediately want to jump on us and say we aren’t as worthy of respect because we didn’t go to school for this. Yall really want any opportunity to undermine women, huh?
I never brought up lawyers in the first place LMAO I am responding to the MAN who brought up that he says hi to his lawyer. (Which I call bs on. We are talking about online interactions, not passing by someone in real life. I don’t believe for a second that he emails this lawyer he knows with just “hi” through his professional email channels) Why don’t you target the man who brought up this silly example in the first place, and why are you only targeting the female with your criticisms?
It’s so crazy to me that men want to get our attention as women, want us to reply to every single “hi”, want us to cuddle them for free or discounts, but at the same time disrespect and undermine the service we provide.
And the kicker is, it doesn’t matter if we go to school or not. I have friends who are female lawyers, engineers, doctors, etc who are still disrespected just for being women, and expected to feed male entitlement.
If you don’t respect women on this level, I can already tell you wouldn’t respect women even if they had a Ph.D.
And as far as the silly business comparison goes of “reply with how can I help you”… Mmk. I challenge you to go emailing 20 businesses just with “hi” and nothing more. Tell me how that goes for you! Because most business owners I know simply wouldn’t respond as it’s not a legit business inquiry AND it makes you seem like a crazy person, so they don’t want to interact.
Little funny note here: Most of the guys sending me “hi” have ended up getting banned within a couple days. Such a shocker that dudes who think women are here to chat with them for free, are the same dudes trying to get “extras”. 😱🙄
hru hmu
Ok I edited to remove what I’ve been wanting to say but if you read it, do you ever feel the same about some of these comments?
@bobadevotee you come off angry and like you have issues with men. This form of work is strictly online until you decide to meet. Trying to compare it to 20 random businesses makes no sense at all. Messaging someone on cuddle comfort, “ Hi “ isn’t the same as messaging Home Depot customer service. If I messaged a single business owner that was selling something supposed to be for wellness , they would most likely respond with “how can I help you” or do you have any questions etc. Why? Because they are trying to make money and gain a customer.
Emotion control issues aside, there is another technical point to make here. Inquiry forms are one-way communication. Of course you would include a lot of details because the communication is going in one direction. An inbox allows an endless number of replies. Not everything needs to be said all at once.
Also let’s not pretend like Pros don’t randomly send messages like “Hi want a session?”or “Hi I will be in your city” . People whose profile I’ve never even looked at. So I could easily generalize too and say Female Pro’s see men here as desperate losers and ATM’s to make a quick , nice amount of money off of. However that’s not fair to the ones who aren’t like that but, a lot of them are this way.
@Kense all good points, of course.....@jplemmon also good points....@bobadevotee yes, we must all be more considerate and look inside to see if we, as men, harbor any unconscious disrespect towards women. To be honest, I think the vast majority who are long-time members of this community are quite the opposite; we are very considerate, even deeply appreciative, of women in general, and cuddling pros specifically. Perhaps you might benefit from taking your own temperature, look at some of your biases towards men, and how you harbor anger and resentment, assuming that simple reaching out via messaging is an example of disrespect?
As stated previously, both men and women, probably a smattering of non-gendered and nonbinary folks, all can act with invalidating speech, anger, and resentment, often projected by their own experiences of such disrespect and non-seeing of their contributions. But to enlarge on this forum, with such vitriol and presumptive comments, serves no one. It doesn't add to the conversation, nor does it exemplify the caring and love I have witnessed in this community.
@beaubliss You really have a way with words.
Ahhhh the joys of working with customers and clients. Can't say I miss it. I prefer to work in the less cuddly industries.
This thread continues to break my heart. If you see me out there and my face makes you happy, please say hi to me.
And I’ll happily offer 10% off a cuddle now through April 1 with the coupon code KALLISTA SENT ME
@achetocuddle Thank you for such sweet acknowledgement! As a sapio primarily, words are my love language, especially when combined with touch. I love finding words to express ideas that stream through me with power....and when I am received for such, I feel uplifted throughout my body. Thus, literally all my cuddle sessions have words and idea-sharing surround the touch, adding an element of affection that I find unforgettable
@beaubliss That sounds wonderful and I see from your karma that many feel the same.
Hey everyone.. there s absolutely nothing wrong with “hey how are you?” But you can also say more …. bring a little more of yourself to the interaction .. for example sharing why you feel attracted to someone’s profile .. it really helps the flow
I’m appreciating @Kallista Starting this discussion. I wish you all satisfying cuddles and communication!
It seems like the best advice is to read the profile before sending a message. If a pro wants or requires specific information or such, the onus is on them to provide easy instructions. At my job, I always respond to HI emails without a lecture about etiquette. At my job, I am the professional, not the client. Bypassing a potential client because they didn't jump through my first message hoops is a loss of income for my boss, and he probably wouldn't want me as first contact. Potential clients should be treated with respect. Being a true professional is more than just wanting money, it's also your skills, attitude, demeanor and commitment to your work.
@OhioMike @lonelytauros 🅾️🅾️🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Hi @carrieanne thanks! 🤗x7
@carrieanne by the way, how are you!
@lonelytauros I’m feeling good lately and navigating (very carefully) through the adventures of Cuddling. Wishing for more of the good guys like you all here on the forum. Thanks for asking and hoping the same for you! 😊