So I cuddled with someone months and months ago. Almost a year ago now. She was the first person I cuddled with and I really enjoyed my experience. I even booked with her again. But when I made my second booking on the site she asked that I text her so she could circumvent fees. Months go by. I start to delude myself that this person is actually my friend because I’m very lonely and have issues with my mental health. I really wanted to book a third session. So we agree to have one in early January. I pay her the full amount before she even shows up and once we’re a few days away she says she needs to reschedule because she just had a bad experience with someone. I agree to that. I say February 15th would be best because that’s when I’m house sitting and would be in a better position to host. This is where I start messing up. I told her I would make payments to her over the course of the month and try to get up to $1200 so we could have a longer session. I keep making payments, but it starts getting hard. I get up to $650 sent, but I tell her I’m starting to get into a bad place financially and ask if we can just have a session with a reduced amount of hours that fits into the $650. She says no, because she’s rescheduled a trip so she can make it, and says I need to pay the $1200. I wanted to try but started to feel like I was drowning between that and other bills. I asked her if I could pay her the final $550 when she arrived in cash, because I was advised by a friend that I should do this, and she rejects this and says I’m making her uncomfortable. I say I don’t understand because I’ve paid her upon arrival in the past, but she says she feels like I’m trying to back out of payments. This turns into an argument and she makes it very clear she won’t return my money even though our session date is still a week away. I had tried to get a refund days before but she said no, and I said she could keep it because I felt guilty. After I tried to stand up for myself and not apologize and feel guilty constantly, she just says she has it in writing that I said she could keep it. After I say I’m considering reporting her, she threatens sue me for defamation of character. I’d like to see how this goes because I don’t have any money to take, and I doubt she can afford lawyers.


  • This all hurts even more, because I actually cared about this person, and once push came to shove she called me “insane” calling back to discussions of my mental health, when I never said anything rude or uncouth to her. I just tried to stand up for myself.

  • edited February 8

    You can get her canned if you have the message showing she is trying to circumvent fees. Hopefully she won't scam anyone else after that.

    You can't let the personal side kick in too much on here. It's a business transaction. There is no reason to pay ahead of time for session fees. If someone tries that, outside of maybe a small deposit, that should be the end.

  • I’m sorry to hear what you went through. Just some of my personal thoughts is do all the bookings through the website especially when you’re dealing with large amounts of money like you were. one other thing I know were human but try not to let feelings or emotions get involved With cuddling. Also, when cuddling try not to spend that much money it really isn’t worth it and before anyone slits my throat, it’s just my opinion.

  • Thank you. I did end up reporting her but I don’t have all of the screenshots so we’ll see how it goes. I’m definitely only going to book through the site from now on, and I wish I could just stick with enthusiasts, but there’s very few near me.

  • edited February 9

    NTA. You have, in fact, been scammed by a criminal. It's not your fault: criminals target sites like this, looking for potential victims who are lonely and vulnerable.

    Well done for Reporting, that was the right thing to do.

    Threatening to sue somebody for defamation of character or the like is never a real threat. It's functionally impossible unless you have a lot of money to spend on lawyers, and even then is very unlikely to succeed. The only people who do this kind of thing successfullly are evil billionaires.

    Edit: I'm sorry to say that the OP has deleted their account.
    Edit edit: happy to say they are back now!


    • If you are on this site, you are probably a vulnerable person in some way. Have a think about what those vulnerabilities might be.

    • Never pay the full cost of a session in advance unless you know the person really well. A few sessions never counts as 'really well'. 'Really well' means many sessions PLUS things like: you've met their partner twice; you've cleaned up cat vomit from their carpet while they put the over-excited dog back in its kennel; they've arrived at your place soaking wet because a lorry splashed them just before the arrived and you have to lend them clothes to do the session. That kind of stuff.

    • Never pay a deposit of more than half the session cost. Never pay a deposit at all to an account less than four months old. Almost never pay a deposit to an account with no Karma (remember to check the Karma writer.) Paying for the costs of hosting, for example the hotel, is sometimes necessary. Either pay them yourself directly (best) or at the very least get copies of the receipts/confirmations. If there is any undue delay in providing such receipts, Report at once.

    • If in doubt, Report. The mods have repeatedly emphasised this point. It helps them spot patterns of behaviour and is an important tool in keeping the community safe.

    • In cases like the one in this thread, the criminal is often quite vulnerable themselves. This is not repeat not an excuse.

    • Always keep correspondance on this site. This is for your own safety.

    • All sessions must be booked through the site. It is true that once a regular connection has been established, bookings are sometimes taken off site with no other problems. This is a breach of the terms of service. One of the reasons the site fee is so low is because it applies to all sessions, not just the first one.

    • If logistically possible, never rely on one cuddle partner. Have three or more if you can. This helps prevent dependance on one person.

    • If a cuddle professional truly makes the transition from professional to friend, they will almost certainly fire you as a client. (This has happened to me more than once.) You will then meet in a non-cuddling context. In other words you may be very friendly with a professional, but in the end of the day they are a professional first and friend second.

    • Long sessions aren't worth it. Yes, they are lovely and if money is no object, go for it. However, if money is in limited supply, several short sessions offer more benefit than one long one. The optimum length for a session is one and a half or two hours, but in fact an hour is enough to obtain most of the benefit. Longer is good, but it's a bonus not an essential. After about four hours everybody needs a break anyway: in other words, cuddle sessions longer than four hours are really poor value for money. (Unless you are doing the full day/overnight of ten or twelve hours which involves things like proper meals and sleep.)

  • Thank you Duncan. I’ve been floundering on wether I wanted to delete my account or not but I just restored it. I still feel there’s good people on here. I completely agree that if you’re even on this site to begin with you’re probably vulnerable in some way. I came here at the lowest point I’d been to, and while it has helped in some ways it’s also hurt in others.

  • @jenastone93 welcome back. I was hoping it was just a momentary emotional response. This place is a good thing with bad bits, not a bad thing with good bits. There are some amazing people on this site. I hesitated to write this in my previous post but I'm going to say it now: I've paid for sessions in advance a number of times and it's always been fine. Once I paid for four sessions because the person was skint ... and there was no problem at all. Once upon a time I was as at a very low point like you, but now I am not, and it's partly thanks to this site.

    You got screwed on this one. No two ways around it. But as Churchill said, 'When you're going through helll - keep going.' You're already out the other side of this little disaster, and you seem to be doing the right thing: feeling the pain, but moving on.

    You'll be ok. Cuddling with the right people will help, it really will. Read the top tips above and follow them, at least until you are stronger. These threads might help too:

  • @jenastone93 Oof, this hurts my heart. I'm so sorry you were taken advantage of. @CuddleDuncan has some great advice for anyone vulnerable to this kind of situation.

    I'd be happy to get to know you, and potentially cuddle if I visit Texas in the future. I never charge and you'd have to fight me to even pay for a coffee. 😊

    Best of luck finding genuine people, here!

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

  • edited February 10

    @SunsetSnuggles Thanks so much. I PM’d you, would be happy to get to know you too.

  • @jenastone93 Excellent! 🤩

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

  • @jenastone93
    First I want to say I felt sad to read about the experience you had, I was actually a bit shocked that there are pros doing such blatant scamming in that manner. Demanding huge amounts of money in advance seems crazy. But you have gotten some great advice here. Cuddling experiences are often learning opportunities.
    (And I’ll have to find out where League City is since I’m in DFW)
    I hope whatever happens in the future with cuddling, that it is a great experience for you. Please take care and be cautious.🤗🤗

  • Scams and general dishonesty among pros are pretty common. I feel for you.

    At the same time though, to be honest, your actions seem almost impossibly naive - why would you ever pay that much in advance? And why would it ever occur to you to "make payments"? If you don't have enough money, save up and pay her at once when you have the money.

    If you want to make sure you never get taken advantage of on this site, you should never pay anything in advance - no deposit, nothing. You pay when she's standing in front of you.

    I personally do occasionally pay a small deposit, but every time I do it with full knowledge that I may be just flushing money down the toilet.

  • I’m a dumbass. I only trusted her because we had met up before. I know I messed up myself in plenty of ways. I just figured at the very least we could adjust the hours for our session.

  • I'm so sorry you had that experience! I hope you are able to meet some much better people on here soon. That's a lot of money to lose. :-( I'm not sure what all the options are, but depending on payment method, is it possible to cancel the payments and get your money back (if it was through PayPal, Cash App, or something)?

  • I tried to cancel the payments on CashApp but I doubt any of it will actually come back. I can live without the money, I am partly responsible for not taking the proper precautions. Just feel hurt is all.

  • @jenastone93 I thought of something that might be helpful to you. You know in the general forum They have lots of meet and greet threads. You might want to start one and see if there are people that are interested in organizing an event in your area for a meet and greet

  • Thank you @lonelytauros , I appreciate that. Will definitely check it out.

  • I'm so sorry you got scammed, @jenastone93 . Sadly this is a fairly common scam, not just on this site but online in general.

    For everyone, it's a good idea to be aware of the site TOU for pros as well as clients. Pros here not only are not allowed to circumvent fees by bypassing the booking system - they have to agree to a non-compete for a full year. This means any clients they meet through the site they must always book through the site, and if they stop being a pro on the site they may not see any of their clients from here for pay for a full year.

    Always use the booking panel if you want the limited protections the site provides. If you do not, there is nothing the mods or admin can do.

    There are a lot of good resources on how to avoid scams in the stickied threads of the forums. Reading up on how to avoid Internet scams in general, especially ones using CashApp, can also be useful.

  • You should probably cut your losses and just deactivate for a while. You are wasting money, time, and your mental health on here. You were going to pay her $1200! For what? That is crazy money for someone in your situation

  • @cuddlefaery - Other than banning their account If they stick around as an enthusisast, how can they enforce that rule?

  • @Mike403 that's exactly how they could enforce it. They also would have grounds to sue for breech of contract in some jurisdictions, if they wished to pursue it. Non-compete agreements are pretty standard in a lot of businesses that use contractors.

  • I am so sorry this happened to you. You aren't alone. I had a similar situation and only lost about 250 before I realized what had happened. Sometimes our hearts get in the way of our heads.

  • A lot of good advice on here. I just wanted to add my voice and say that I'm sorry this happened to you.

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