If not interested please cancel. Don't just ghost.

KylieDawnKylieDawn
in General

I would hope this would be a common courtesy toward people, but it isn't as common as it needs to be.

There are a million reasons why someone may not want to go through with an appointment. However, it isn't okay for you to arrange time with them and then ghost the individual. A quick message saying "no longer interested" would suffice with no more explanation offered.

It is disrespectful to have someone hold that time only for you to ghost them. Please be respectful of everyone's time on here and just communicate.

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Comments

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited March 15

    People ghost on here all the time . Im currently ghosted by people who I thought were my friends so often that it feels like if they were set loose on the city Ghostbusters style we would have a state of emergency . People are flaky and sometimes I'm a dick and deserve it so whatever . I say all this to say that it is indeed common on this site yes agreed . If you have an appointment booked through the site then it ends up not going through, whether it be the client who no shows or the pro as it happens on both sides kinda often based off the complaints I see on the forums, then there are steps you can take I believe for recourse but opinions on that and effectiveness of it vary greatly.

  • soothinghugssoothinghugs

    10000 PERCENT Agree! I've got several people that booked a session and then ghosted me. Sometimes I wish I could ask for a deposit before agreeing but I don't do it that way and it doesn't feel right.

    How do you guys avoid or prevent this situation? It's a waste of time and potential other clients.

  • Cessna_guyCessna_guy

    Common courtesy and simple, thoughtful communication is sadly a lost art.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited March 15

    Might be better topic for the pro forum

  • KylieDawnKylieDawn

    This conversation is for both parties looking to book. That is why I posted it in the general area and not just the pro forum.

  • KylieDawnKylieDawn

    @soothinghugs I don't think a deposit is a bad thing. Even if it is just $10 because your time is valuable and your should be compensated for sitting and waiting.
    Every medical appointment has this and we are seeing a trend with restaurants as well.

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101
    edited March 15

    Yeah, doctor's office requires 24 hours or you get charged. Same should apply to for pro cuddlers. I think some pros charge a deposit upon booking. Another was cash only and only when they showed up since refunding was difficult for them.

  • MegaSnugglezMegaSnugglez

    I have no problem for pros who ask to get some sort of deposit for the session to make sure people are serious about the booking.

  • KylieDawnKylieDawn

    I can't seem to find clients who aren't interested in solicitation. As soon as I communicate that I am someone who is strict on following the rules on the website and only offering cuddling and services listed on my page they drop me. :-(
    I am a great cuddler and provide comfort and conversation. -sigh-

  • soothinghugssoothinghugs

    @KylieDawn yeah sis maybe we should start doing that deposit thing. I agree, those medical or dental appointments ask for that too so why wont we? time is valuable

  • natickbennatickben

    @pmvines i have been repeatedly ghosted by enthusiasts too, alas

  • TxTomTxTom
    edited March 15

    @KylieDawn

    It is disrespectful to have someone hold that time only for you to ghost them.

    Yes, it is. This rude habit has it's roots in the immature Me! Me! Me! Now! Now! Now! childlike mindset of instant self-gratification.

  • DaveFromSussexDaveFromSussex

    I was ghosted in the first few months being here, it certainly destroyed any confidence and encouragement I had at the time. Common courtesy indeed.

  • pmvinespmvines

    @natickben
    Yeah , there's folks here who ive had pretty good connections with and even spent time in the real world and in each other's homes that just kinda seem to disappear . Sometimes things just reach an end point with friendships, or there will be changes in personal life or circumstances that affect thr dynamic . Whatever the case ,it does tend to sting sometimes even when it's not out of malice.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Courtesy in all forms has eroded over time. Many people no longer send out thank you notes after a job interview. Just gives those who do an advantage. Likewise, if you exhibit grace and kindness if you cancel you will be the one who is remembered and possibly given a second chance. If you are ghosted just let it be a reminder that you are doing things the classy correct way.

  • CuddleHugs01234CuddleHugs01234

    @KylieDawn If they drop you after you stating your boundaries, that is actually a good thing, because they were probably wanting more.

    If an appointment is already booked, they should cancel that. If they don’t cancel, and you try to confirm it and they don’t respond, and they’ve already ghosted you, you could go ahead and cancel. I put the reason in the cancellation, such as “would not confirm appointment and has ghosted me.” If they really want to see you, they could then reach back out.

    It is disappointing, but it does happen.

  • SoosonSooson

    @KylieDawn look I asked if you gonna be a cat and you ignored me so I'm out =) =) =)

  • SoosonSooson
    edited March 15

    @KylieDawn but as a ghosting "victim" myself I agree with you people should have the courtesy. And I'm talking after the session has been booked. Prior to the booking also not cool but I expect nothing to start with so it's easy for me to deal with that.
    If you got ghosted after a session was booked then report. It's a big city, be patient :)

  • 4bearhugs4bearhugs

    Good topic for general discussion. Especially since ghosting happens both ways. I have been ghosted more by pros than I have enthusiasts. (4 to 3). For just such a reason I will never pay a deposit or book a hotel in advance.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan

    @KylieDawn some of the people who do this are doing it deliberately. It amuses them.

    I have twice encountered people (in other contexts) who travelled to another city/country and were left waiting at the airport for their client to turn up as arranged. Just waiting ..... nothing bad happened, they were just left there. In one case the client even paid for the trip, and in the other went to enormous lengths creating fake documents to make it look like they had. In both cases the client subsequently responded to messages, although without saying anything much and without providing excuse or explanation. In one case they even tried to book again.

    There is no absolute solution. Thinking about this possiblity during the booking process can help, and experience in spotting various forms of troublemaker definitely helps.

    Requiring a small deposit will significantly reduce the frequency of such events. It's not the amount of the deposit that matters, it's the principle. A $10 deposit will deter a lot of ne'er-do-wells, while not risking the appearance of a scammer.

    However, when you are a new professional, with no Karma or Friends and have been here less than a few months, even a small deposit will deter quite a lot of genuine client. Sometimes there is nothing you can do except suck it up.

    In all contexts I confirm appointments the day before. There are one or two exceptions, but I do this even with people I know and trust. (Sometimes there has just been a misunderstanding about the date.) It helps a lot.

    PS - you are new, and the experiences you describe are common. It happens to practically everbody who is new: the good people don't book you because they've all had bad experiences with new professionals, and the less-good people target you because you are more vulnerable. Persist, and you will come out the other side. Use the Report button freely.

  • WldlyThotlessWldlyThotless

    @KylieDawn I’m sorry that you’ve had this happen! I share your opinion.

    I agree with others that people who ghost, or who don’t want to follow the terms and conditions are probably not ones that we would enjoy if they did choose to follow through.

    My time on this site has been eye opening. The truly good and genuine people are amazing, and are definitely some of the best blessings I’ve received. The bad…well, they just make me more grateful when the amazing show up.

    Hang in there, and keep choosing to be one of the good! Sending hugs!
    Viv

  • SoosonSooson

    As a pro, asking for deposits may cost you some good clients who previously got burnt by shady characters.
    I personally click NEXT when I see the D word. There's enough out there for me not to have to.
    @4bearhugs it's not much better on the other side. I was recently told by a pro that men book her 2 weeks in advance or asking her to "hold a spot" for them just to ghost her the day of.
    I myself only got ghosted once by a pro knock on wood.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    I’ve only been ghosted by 2 people from this site, 1 pro and 1 enthusiast. The enthusiast just suddenly quit responding to messages and deactivated her account. I have no idea what happened but I did not take it personal as I assumed something was going on in her personal life that didn’t involve me.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I have to say I have never been ghosted. I wish they had on two occasions.

  • sillysassysillysassy
    edited March 15

    @KylieDawn There are a LOT of problems on the site for a MILLION reasons.... Such a bummer for you though.

    I DEFINITELY agree with the idea of talking to pros and finding out what works best for ghosting and deposits and this kind of thing. There are a LOT of threads about that happening for Pro's AND Enthusiasts.

    Search through the forums and talk with other Pro's. LOTS of good info throughout the hundreds of pages of comments.

    Also...

    I can't seem to find clients who aren't interested in solicitation.

    EDITED Because I didn't read correctly. THEY are interested in SOLICITATION OF SEXUAL INTERACTION INSTEAD OF PLATONIC. Now I understand... So sorry this happens but I agree with those who say REPORT and thank your stars that they "drop you" before you actually try and meet with them in person and they push the boundaries.

    As soon as I communicate that I am someone who is strict on following the rules on the website and only offering cuddling and services listed on my page they drop me.

    EDITED---

    This was because of a misread. Sorry everyone....
    I know you just joined and I would hate for you to get in trouble... but everything I have heard or read is that Pro's are NOT ALLOWED to solicit clients. Directly in messages or here in the forums. In fact you can get banned for it. There are some very specific rules about when you can reach out. MAYBE if they view your profile you can send a hello, but you can't do "cold calls" unless they specifically say "PLEASE FEEL FREE TO REACH OUT THROUGH MESSAGES" in their profile.

    Of course I wish you all the good luck in figuring things out that work best for you, and as an enthusiast I am VERY GRATEFUL to you Professionals.

    Hope your journey is smooth and the learning curves aren't too painful. 😊

  • sillysassysillysassy

    It is disrespectful to have someone hold that time only for you to ghost them.

    This happens both Pro's and Enthusiasts, but you are right... it is disheartening.

    I have seen that YOU as a Pro have the ability to seek recourse, cancel the appt so you don't have to pay a fee, leave them some Karma for a no-show, and report them to the mods.

    Good luck to you and as always "May the Cuddle Gods be EVER in your favor!!"

  • SoosonSooson

    @sillysassy , @KylieDawn was talking about a different kind of solicitation....

  • sillysassysillysassy

    @Sooson Thanks for the catch! I EDITED my comment accordingly. 😊

  • sg89sg89

    Deposits or re-confirmations are ways to handle it. The decision and rate of a deposit is a delicate one though. I have my own view of what I'd consider acceptable though it'd differ person to person.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Cuddle Comfort says no deposits required

    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/professional-cuddlers

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