Relationship of 9 years is ending. We have a two year old son. I feel betrayed almost. He didn't cheat or anything, even though he likely had plenty of opportunity to after I gained weight from pregnancy.
The worst part is neither of us can even afford to live without the other financially. We were looking for houses to buy before he sprung this shit on me and we've decided to still look for one in a duplex style so our sons life isn't turned completely on it's head, because I really don't like the idea of telling our son "daddy can't come home right now honey" when he's scared or waking up from a nap because he wouldn't be living with us in the same house. At least in a duplex style place we would be right next door and he could see him whenever he wanted to without having to make plans for picking up.
I don't know how to feel. Part of me is relieved, but the other part is scared witless. He made me absolutely dependent on him and told me when he said it was over that he ruined my life. And in a lot of ways he's absolutely right. I feel pathetic being where I am in life and not having accomplished anything. A lot of it was because he enabled me.
I'm so angry that he let us go on like this for as long as he did. Found out he signed up on POF FOUR MONTHS AGO, exactly 3 days after he took me out for a great Mother's Day dinner. Confused, hurt and lonely. I knew something wasn't right but I kept ignoring it and trying to make it the way it used to be because I do still care for him, and always will; he's the father of my child for one and the first long term boyfriend I ever had, not to mention the man who took my virginity.
I don't even want sex from him anymore and this is pretty much the reason I signed up for this site. I plan on using it eventually but I'm just looking around right now. I just want some sort of affection that isn't sexual now. I miss being held. He hasn't slept in the same bed as I for over two months now, the original excuse being it was easier for him to fall asleep with the tv on (something I believe because he's always been like that).
I just don't know what to do.
@Skettimon it is hard to end relationships when kids are involved. Best you can do is try to normalize things as much as possible. I recently (well, 3 yrs ago) ended a 10 yr marriage, were together for 12, and before that I had a 5 yr marriage that had ended just before jumping into the 10 yr one. It gets easier, just takes time. Truth be told I'm relieved to be single for the first time since my early 20s.
My mom would be 98 in December. She was really ready to go. She had the blessings of all of her remaining kids to leave us behind. The day after the funeral, my brother got married, so we had a new beginning after an ending. My mom will always be with me in my memories. I did get some good cuddles from a girlfriend that helped a lot, for me to get through my grief. Jim
It's the 5th anniversary of my mom's death this Tuesday. We were BFFs, and she was my first cuddle-buddy. I'm doing better this year, but feeling a bit out of sorts.
How can one stay strong. While relearning so much for her children (whom r no longer young children) & herself. When she tries to reach out to other's. Even w the world so close, not feeling as she's apart of it. Feeling lonely, tearfully cry'n.
I've lost 800 skill points in NS2 over the past few months and I'm considering a counselling session, but I hope I can pull it together.
Anyone else play the game?
I am not very happy at the moment. I get in a pretty weird place around the holidays. I have had a lot of tragedy in my life over the holidays , and have lost two childhood friends this past year who are on my mind. I don't really talk about my feelings too much but I just wanted to get this off my chest.
Holidays are hard , separated and learning to be on my own after a 16 yr marriage . Hoping to fix things
I'm sorry to hear that @CuddleBugtm.
You have the strength to get through this; you just have to believe that you do. Don't be afraid to reach out to friends and family. They can surprise you and provider you with the support you need.
After 30 years in of marriage I've found myself, adrift after my wife's sudden death. . This will be the first Xmas without her and I'm hopeful that my family, friends and cc friends a will help see you through me through this.
I’m so sorry , hugs . It’s been a few months . I have a couple good friends and my dad is here he’s my rock
Wow, just read your responses and I feel for you all who have gone and continue to overcome challenges and downfalls - we all do - some more openly than others. I just want to send you all Hugs and a little message your way!
I just want you all to remember that you've come a long way, fallen and rose many a times! You will continue to overcome any and all challenges that come your way.
You're bigger, STRONGER than the pain, and you're unstoppable.
Even at times when it seems all you see is darkness, remember that you will get out of the tunnel stronger, smarter, and more powerful and loving then ever before. We fall and we will rise!
You can make a difference both in your life and in the lives of those around you.
MOST of all.
Remember your own worth, strength, intelligence, self-love and care. Know that you're worth it, no matter the down falls, you will rise stronger and better than ever!
Given that I've seen a list of relationship related downfalls that has some of you feeling down and you're over coming, I just wanted to say a few things that are more specific to this...
Firstly, the way I see love-relationships is like this: First we are this wholesome person = why someone else takes an interest in us. We strive to look out for each other and together (when we are good for each other) we are stronger. They become like our mirror, there to love, support us. We must remember that all this is a joy ride for the most part, it's also full of lessons we can learn together and from one another.
One of the life lessons we either forget or lose focus on: Not everything is meant to last our whole life, nor does anything last - forever, both pain and pleasure have their time of cycle. Their leaving does not make us less worthy of love and happiness. We just at some point grow apart.
If one gets the desire to leave it's not good for us to stay with together. After trials and errors, the responsible and reasonable thing we are to do is to hold the door for them on their way out and wish them well.
I know. Easier said than done. Though it's something we need to do and the sooner we can, the sooner we set ourselves free to explore, enjoy and find new worth while experiences.
You've not lost, you've only gained new experiences and lessons and now you can go on to your next experiences and continue to enjoy life!
By the way, do you remember that beautiful, intelligent, fun, caring and lovable individual that attracted others?
You're still that wholesome person, who's full of wonders. You have so MUCH to offer and gain!
Hugs and for you.
Blank
This time of year is very tough for me as my mother died on the 4th when I was a teenager and shortly afterwards my family fell apart. More recently my wife had her cancer diagnosed in December too..
Hugs you're not alone.
@Lovelight thanks but it kinda does feel that way...
This time is so hard missing my daughter in heaven
You're welcome. May my well my well wishes be with you and you get the strength you need to get through.
I miss my wife who passed away on may 5th. Our 31 year anniversary would have been December 27. Patti, I love you always.
I’ve been with social anxiety and depresssion most of life and when I thought I finally found a partner and married her and that I was going to be free it ended up causing her to leave me 2 years later. It was really hard because she left the country a couple months ago and we only reply through email. I was having a meltdown when I first turned to this site and had a first session with @Brandi and it helped a lot. My wife has finally said we are done and I am in acceptance mode but still have a lot to work on in my life while trying to stay sane.
Sometimes i feel like im the only one who also enjoys lemon tarts
@nestholdwell I’ve never actually had a lemon tart. But I bet you’re are the bomb!
I love lemon tarts.
.
Horrible family member, health-related news yesterday. I need this circle of life to stop spinning so fast right now.
Life is tough and nothing is forever. Sometimes even families and friends can't help you with the pain and suffering that you are going through. I have learned to not to depend on anyone but to be strong and true to myself.
Thank you @LastKnightDown. I have had lots of unfortunate things happened in my life and I have told families. But it only burdened them and made them cry. Hence I learned to keep things to myself.
I do find solace in this community. I used to be a lot more active in posting my comments. However, I have been swamped with working 7 days a week for the last few months. Thank you all.
I find myself often lonely, like supremely lonely. I'm surrounded by people, have lots of contact with people and somehow still feel a deep sadness and loneliness. I'm not sure if that feeling will ever go away, but I sure wish it would.
Anyway, if I can ever help someone else to not feel alone, I certainly will do my best!
Read my profile it pretty much says it all. I’m in need of cuddles/good thoughts. I’m in central Massachusetts if anyone wants to listen to me. Trying to be strong for so long is wearing on me. I LITERALLY need a shoulder to cry on. I’m tired. I’m tired of trying to stay strong.