Is It Generally Challenging for Men to Find Cuddlers Here?

BigAndCuddly27BigAndCuddly27
edited April 10 in General

Hey there! I’m a 27 male, and I’ve been a member here for about 6 months. I’m curious if others relate to my experience. I joined this site because I was touch starved but didn’t want a FWB or hookup since that’s not my cup of tea. Since joining though, despite reaching out to basically everyone with a profile picture within a 50 mile radius, I’ve only cuddled with one person. Of the 4 or 5 others who have ever responded, I stopped talking to 2 of them because I was getting bad vibes and they were banned not too long after, and the other 2 or 3 turned out to be people who were wanting to become pros and didn’t want to cuddle for free. This is particularly disappointing when you’re getting along really well before they say that. I’m curious if other guys can relate to this, or if it’s just me. Maybe my profile bio is bad or I’m just not a good enough looking guy. If it’s the former, I’d welcome feedback.

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Comments

  • TxTomTxTom
    edited April 9

    Is It Generally Challenging for Men to Find Cuddlers Here?

    Absolutely not! Just be patient. You'll do well here.

  • SonnyCheebaSonnyCheeba

    Hey Gholdnor, you’re not alone and I had a lot of the same thoughts. It’s not you or your attractiveness (I’m a straight male but I can tell you look nice, clean, approachable, and cuddly lol). I think that it just takes time to actually reach someone because my guess is the females get tons of messages and get overwhelmed, and simply can’t reply to everyone. I don’t have any good advice as I have hit the same walls as you but at least wanted to reassure you that it’s likely not you or your appearance, just the good ole laws of Supply and Demand

  • BigAndCuddly27BigAndCuddly27
    edited April 9

    Thank you Tom and Sonny. I really appreciate the encouragement. I moved away from my hometown a few years ago, and I left behind a lot of really close friends (both male and female). I never really thought much about all the casual physical contact we had, but over the years out here it’s really started to weigh on me. Again though, I really appreciate the responses and they lifted my spirits. I’ll stick it out and keep doing my best! ☺️

  • BigAndCuddly27BigAndCuddly27

    Side note; my profile has never been visited by so many people in such a short span of time 😅. Didn’t realize how active the community was on here.

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles
    edited April 9

    I doubt it has anything to do with your profile or your looks, unless I am deficient in both those areas too. I think it took me two years to find someone? Though I didn't message everyone in my area. I also use this site more passively and I didn't meet up with just anyone, which you don't seem to either.

    Your experience seems normal to me.

  • panda619panda619
    edited April 9

    It takes some effort. But you will find something just keeping trying buddy. No response is normal just move on to the next one

  • DaveFromSussexDaveFromSussex

    Yeah, it took me a good long while before I even found a professional, not helped by the fact I love kinda remotely. Don't give up.

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101

    I would say it takes time and maybe read the forums for tips about your profile summary, message composition, etc.

  • BigAndCuddly27BigAndCuddly27

    I truly appreciate all the positive comments everyone ❤️. To be honest I’m surprised at how much better I feel with just a little support/encouragement haha. It’s been pretty difficult especially the last 2 or 3 months, but I’ll keep pushing forward!

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    If you're not looking to hire a pro, it can be awhile much the same way any online matchmaking can. When you add in the gender imbalance (far more men looking to cuddle women than any other combination), it makes the process take even longer.

    Hiring a pro can speed up the process in two ways: one, you get cuddles sooner as pros generally reply sooner, are more active, and don't usually require getting to know clients as much beforehand as enthusiasts; two, you can rack up good karma (reviews) which can encourage other enthusiasts to engage with you.

    Not everyone wants to hire a pro, and that's fine, but it's something to consider. Seeking out local cuddle groups/parties is another option to get the ball rolling.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @Gholdnor Sometimes a pro can provide a fix until you find a more permanent cuddle enthusiast. One caveat to hiring a pro—ask questions because a good pro will make you feel good about yourself while a bad pro will make you feel the absence of your money.

  • skhanskhan

    @cuddlefaery I too struggle to find enthusiasts. I've been on this app for 5 years and found only 1 enthusiast I cuddled. I agree it's easy to find a pro to pay for cuddling

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    @Gholdnor As a guy It may take several months to over a year to find another female cuddle enthusiast. I’ve had to message everyone in my area multiple times throughout the year. Some guys actually don’t find any other cuddle enthusiasts and just hire pros (which is super easy). There are around 7 men for each woman on the site! But it seems like most guys who are patient and make lot of friends on the site do find cuddle buddies!

    If you expand your search radius because you travel that will help things for sure. Just by being active on the forums, you’re more or less semi screening yourself, but only for the people that read the forum (most of the gals on the forum are concerned about safety, and someone who has a reasonable history of posts is going to be much more appealing than a rando local guy who just messages them hey lets meet up).

    As someone else mentioned cuddle groups are a great way also. Sometimes members post about upcoming group events on here but not sure where you would find other cuddle groups.

    Best of luck

  • nature700nature700

    As others have mentioned, my advice would be to have patience and consider expanding your distance radius.

  • Miles31Miles31
    edited April 10

    Yes, it's challenging. I initially joined this site to find someone who shares the same interests in cuddling. Turns out most of the females cuddlers on here are only interested if you give them money. That was disappointing to learn, because I didn't join this site to make money. Didn't know something like this can be monetized. I'm still looking for an enthusiast. I can wait though, I'm not desperate to want to pay, especially when cuddling is reciprocal. Can it really be considered a service to pay for?

  • Vocalist100Vocalist100

    Just to add, I've been here more than 5 years (accidentally deleted a previous profile), and have only cuddled 2 pros. Had an initial message or two with several enthusiasts that, like you, ended up getting banned or turned pro. Never met nor advanced to the phone stage with any enthusiasts. So, despite some saying it can take a year or two, sorry to say, it can take a LOT longer.

    But the pros I've met (these I haven't cuddled with - just met at the Chicago meet and greet) are awesome people, (@radiantjem and @JasminCuddles) and I assume awesome cuddlers. The 2 pros I cuddled with, 1 deleted her account, and 1 unfortunately has been banned since.

  • MrAdmirerMrAdmirer

    Unless you are willing to pay to hire a pro, it is basically near impossible to find a cuddler of the opposite sex here.

  • SnugnHugsSnugnHugs

    I can relate, even as being a woman. A lot of empty convos or lack of follow through, suddenly banned or deactivated profiles. I think a lot of people hesitate and/or have one thing in mind, OR do need a break. Not a lot of enthusiasts read your profile thoroughly, but again, I can only speak from a professional point of view. I had aggressive people get my number first and just was looking for a hook up. It’s nice to have an intro call or just in person meet ups for community building. I wish I had more courage and experience with planning an event for Boston or Providence. I love these forums! There are a lot of good people out there, too! Don’t give up!

  • ShaneSchruteShaneSchrute

    A good attitude will go a long way; and you clearly have a good vibe detector if you can pick up on the soon-to-be-banned. Keep at it, reach out with messages that show you’ve read their profiles by mentioning something they’re into, have patience and keep in mind that people get busy. Oh and be on the look out for cuddle parties in your area; also think about traveling to Austin, Houston, etc.

    Be well and good luck!

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    Basically echoing what most have said. If you’re looking for an enthusiast, yes it’s going to be challenging. Pros, well I’m sure depending on the amount of pros in your area but in LA where I live or any large city that I’ve visited, it’s been fairly easy.

  • sillysassysillysassy

    @Gholdnor Welcome to the site!! 😊

    There are lots of threads talking about what you have been experiencing. TONS of good advice here already.

    I want to second what @ShaneSchrute said.

    @RadiantHugs does a lot of facilitated cuddle parties in Austin and surrounding areas. Even if a group cuddle isn't quite your cup of tea it is a GREAT way to network, meet people and also verify that you are a cognizant and desirous of boundary discussions. There have been multiple enthusiasts mentioning how much easier it was to meet men in a group cuddle setting because of the ability to get to know someone, agree publicly to rules, see how they react to others etc etc etc.

    Read the sticky notes because there's great information there and maybe scour around to find the threads that talk about what women are looking for when they are meeting someone new. (SAFETY is a huge concern) @cudbud64 wrote a great thread... maybe you could even ask her where it is. I see that you exclusively cuddle women and speaking from that perspective as an enthusiast, it takes a lot to feel safe with someone new to the site that also hasn't met with anyone else.

    You hit on something as well with the forums. Posting in here gets you a little more visibility, at least from a different crowd so people check on your profile page. The other big thing, is that you let people have a sense of your character when you interact in the forums. Even users who don't post can look up comments made by someone else and see what they've written.

    Your profile pictures are great! Thanks for the smiles (and thank you for using locations OTHER than the bathroom 😂)

    And as always... "May the Cuddle Gods be EVER in your favor!!"

  • sillysassysillysassy

    @Gholdnor You also said...

    I wanted something more casual

    This seemed in conflict with your previous statement.

    I was touch starved and didn’t want a FWB or hookups.

    I'm not sure what you actually MEAN by something casual, but everything I've ever read or seen on other MeetUp sites seem to point in the direction of "something casual" meaning sex. If that isn't your intention, I might choose some different verbiage? Women get a TON of messages as previously mentioned and that kind of language might not be the truth of what you are intending/looking for.

  • jplemmonjplemmon

    Nailed it.

  • lonelytauroslonelytauros

    @jplemmon what #timeout are you gonna be on next lol 😂

  • jplemmonjplemmon
    edited April 10

    @lonelytauros next one will be #8 maybe haha. I want to pad my record so others can't catch up.

    But as my previous post shows, I am trying to turn a new leaf and be a more positive supporter of the community.

    I was once told this in Feb 2023: 😂

    Reported for personal attacks. @jplemmon - you are one further infraction away from being shown the door. I'm not playin'.

  • lonelytauroslonelytauros
    edited April 10

    @jplemmon yes you have the market locked on time-outs ain’t no one catching up lol 😂

    Yes I do see that you have turned over a new leaf 🍃

    Thank you for leading by example! You have my applause 👏🏻

    nailedit

  • jplemmonjplemmon

    @lonelytauros I have also learned this trick. When I need to curse:

    What the [deleted by mod] is going on here?

  • lonelytauroslonelytauros

    @jplemmon I now acknowledge you as the Jedi forum master!

  • BigAndCuddly27BigAndCuddly27

    @sillysassy thanks for pointing that out. I updated the verbiage there a little. By “more casual” I just meant physical contact but not being intimate. Cuddle parties would actually be completely fine with me ☺️. I was looking into them last night and found one that might be an option. I’m wanting to keep searching too though to see what I can find, so I might look into it on here as well to see if anyone hosts them in my area. I might even look at some events further away like in Austin since you mentioned RadianHugs does them. Thanks again for the feedback!

  • CuddleGuy585CuddleGuy585

    As with everything else in life, patience. Does not hurt to update profile now and then. Meanwhile be a good friend to yourself and g out and enjoy solo and group activities.

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