Not complaining, just curious what people have to say.
I think this helps. It's a multi layered approach. It's only a manosphere thing that you have to be 6 feet tall and rich and handsome. Bullocks.
Happy cuddles.
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/19613/how-to-get-started#latest
What’s a guy gotta do to get a cuddle out here?
Changing your username, deathwish, to something else would be my first guess.
How you conduct yourself when messaging someone will have a huge impact.
Your bio was the poll answer I chose.
Physical "attributes" should have nothing to do with it, we are not here to date. That said, smiling in pictures is always a good way to seem approachable.
Having friends only shows you talk to people and are somewhat friendly, it doesn't mean you're safe or platonic.
Having Karma means you're not a serial killer, but for me, Karma is useful mostly if I know the person who wrote it.
In the end, what gets a cuddle from me is a thoughtful profile, messages that show interest in friendship, and consistent kindness, intelligence, or a sense of humor here on the boards.
I hope you have great experiences, here! 😊
~ Sunset Snuggles
🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover
@TxTom it actually became a conversation starter which later secured a session, but you’re right. I do think some people might be put off by it. I did look through a forum explaining you couldn’t change the name, so I figured if I accumulated friends and karma my profile would appear more trustworthy.
@deathwish you can change it once per calendar year.
@Minestrone101 gotcha
@deathwish
@SunsetSnuggles I like your view but realistically if your physical attributes didn’t matter then there wouldn’t be an option to list your height or weight to begin with. Maybe less socially adept people would rely on their looks to secure a cuddle. Idk.
Your initial messages to those you reach out to matters more than anything and the ability to establish a rapport with them going forward. This requires social skills and so many of the malcontents who air their lack of success in the form of diatribes against women on the forums lack essential communication and listening skills to achieve this. While people take note of karma, bios, forum posts, and pics, once the messages start the emperor no longer has clothes—-you are who you are. Do you come across as kind? Or witty? Or safe? So yes, the main ingredient is missing in your poll which is direct messages and you.
@BoomerSpooner you're right, I purposely left that option out.
@Minestrone101 thank you
@deathwish You can change your name once a year.
@deathwish 💯
I edited the post and the poll was deleted, please revote.
@deathwish I am not scared off by your name, though usernames are often poorly chosen for the sensitive among us. 🤭 When I see usernames like yours, I figure they are likely a reference to a band, game, etc.
As for looks, it has often been pointed out that some of the profile fields regarding looks and sexuality are more akin to a dating site than platonic cuddles...some of them have been explained away as warding off potential bigotry, but others don't seem to have a good, platonic reason to be there.
Here is a fascinating thread on attractiveness and whether people think it does, or should, play into platonic cuddling:
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/16222/how-important-is-appearance/p1
P.S. I re-voted. 😊
@SunsetSnuggles platonic cuddling sounds nice but I can see it being a slippery slope to debauchery. Maybe not for someone as yourself that is wholeheartedly platonic and disinterested in the appearance of someone but more so for others that specifically but perhaps unconsciously select for people they are attracted to.
What we ought to do and what is, is a moral dilemma.
@deathwish It is a slippery slope, which is why shared motives and strong boundaries are important. There are many people here for reasons other than what the site is designed for - some for sex, some for scams. Those two often find each other. 🤑
For me, it's always about if we click while messaging. I'm an enthusiast, so I'm looking to get to know someone before agreeing to meet them. If we don't click personality wise, there's no way I would feel comfortable enough to cuddle that person. Honestly, a lot of times a conversation will start, and we just can't seem to find that natural conversation flow. And I'm apparently a rare enthusiast in that I almost always answer people's messages. There's probably only been maybe 2 times where I just didn't have the energy to answer someone's first message. It was BAD. 🙄😂
@deathwish LOL at your prof name, is your real name Charles Bronson? Love a good bio. Not too long, just enough to understand the personality and ask questions. Looking for respectful and authentic, but not dramatic or creepy. Zero trust for karma or friends lists. It's not uncommon for people to give karma when they haven't cuddled, but just met. (Which is allowed by the site, but is as useful as reviewing a restaurant's food when you only used their toilet.) Looks/physical attributes is another 0 for me. Some of the ugliest people I have ever met have great looks, Hollywood proves that every day.
Fleshing out your profile may help some but as others have stated, your initial messages are usually what matters the most. Good luck and cuddle on! 🫂
Personally, I don’t like chatting through messages very much. The most I’ll give is a how are you and then I’ll get straight to business trying to schedule a session. It’s not that I don’t care to know the person, but I like to save that for the meeting in person.
I think it’s redundant to feign interest on my part through chit chat. If I messaged them, it is because I've already evaluated the cost based on their profile, and I’m ultimately going to negotiate a deal.
I don’t know if that comes across wrong to some but I’d like to think people can appreciate this approach. I think safety should be everyone’s main concern and I wouldn’t advise lowering your guard because you thought you knew someone.
@deathwish Not chatting a lot is fine for hiring most Pro's. Not sure what you mean by "negotiate a deal" though; Pro's have set pricing tiers and not many adjust those. There are a precious few who have sliding scales for clients with financial struggles.
If you want to cuddle with an enthusiast (AKA for free), we typically like to spend more time getting to know someone, before scheduling a cuddle. If you would be feigning interest by dragging out a chat you aren't interested in, definitely don't do that. Be yourself and be honest. If you're not into talking much before a cuddle, be upfront about that. It's okay to be who you are; just know it will attract or push back different types of people, depending on their varying personalities and end goals.
@SunsetSnuggles Negotiate a deal as in, picking a date, time and place. I haven’t cuddled with an enthusiast because of the fact that I have to build rapport. I’m not against making friends but I do state in my bio that I am a bit misanthropic so it feels like a drag. The purpose of paying a pro, to me, speeds up the process of building rapport and encourages me to engage to get my moneys worth.
@deathwish Totes legit. I wasn't sure if you meant haggle the price.
Some people are just touch-deprived and want to fill that need without getting buddy buddy, which is fine. Pro's exist to provide a service and you sound like a prime candidate who they would love to have.
You seem pretty friendly and talkative, for the record. 😄
Meanwhile, me... 😏
@deathwish If you are primarily talking about hiring pros, then really it’s Mostly in the way you message. Be respectful, don’t make too much small talk and get to the point of booking a session. Make sure to read their bio and follow all their rules, and that’s it. Some professionals like chatting, but it’s better to assume that they don’t.
There are a lot of flaky pros on here. If you don’t hear from one after one follow up message, I’d move on From them and message someone else. Generally the ones with over 10 karma are more likely to be reliable. I’d only give a deposit to pros that have lots of positive karma, personally.
You have generally nice pics up, but your main profile pic kinda makes it looks like you don’t have a shirt on? Which might give pros the wrong idea of what you’re looking for and they may not respond because of that. So I would recommend either replacing your main picture or cropping it more.
I’m sure you have an interesting reason for your profile name but I second the others, changing it will make it easier to message randos on the internet.
And as always trust your gut.
Best of luck
Pay.
If you’re looking for a pro it should be really, really easy unless you’re waving 🚩🚩🚩all over the place or live in the absolute middle of nowhere.
@sunnysideup thank you for the feedback
As the person paying, I have to evaluate if the rate is congruent with what the pro is offering. What makes a $100 dollar cuddle better than a $50 dollar cuddle? Ofc they’ll both claim to be a good time but their appearance will be the determining factor.