@Morpheus I wholeheartedly agree with @SunsetSnuggles I actually almost pointed out in one of my responses that while my information might not pertain to (now banned user) it would be useful for others to know. As he started changing what he was discussing time and time again it was no longer beneficial for anyone involved.
Just FYI he was not banned due to his forum activity…
@CharlieBear
~ Sunset Snuggles
🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover
Lmao this guy was [fricking] insane
He brings up physical appearance in his poll in the first place, then gives his two cents on what he deems as “compliments” **
What I can’t wrap my head around is that we’re so hard pressed about compliments towards appearance
Then when people explain why they don’t enjoy such “compliments”, he turns it around
I’m just wondering why it’s even being brought up…Because no one in this thread asked if complimenting was okay, but suddenly there’s a lot of talk about bad men and what they say.
Fricking idiot. “I’m gonna bring up this topic and say whatever I want but if you disagree with me, I’m gonna [whine] and moan and act like you’re the one going off topic” 🙄
“Compliments” in quotes because no, random faceless internet creeps, you calling me gorgeous is not a [fricking] compliment. My self esteem isn’t so low that I need no-face random [crass] men online commenting on my looks. Talking about my appearance is only a compliment if you’re my man, another woman, or a modeling/acting/talent agency casting agent. The only compliment I want from strangers is cash 🤣 Reminds me of creepy dudes at coffee shops who think the barista is just DYING for them to call her “sexy” while she’s just trying to do her [dang] job. 😭 Nah just say nothing and give her a fat tip if you wanna compliment her.
Reported and reviewed. Edited some profanity. [CharlieBear]
Man, I want to know why he got banned. Maybe he was intrigued about that pro who offered the underwear cuddles? Wonder if he asked about that..👀 I kept reading his comments all day. He gave off some bad vibes. HOOOPPPEEFULLLLYYY he doesn’t come back with another account. But you know, these banned guys usually find a way. 😪
@SeriousSnuggler @SunsetSnuggles Thank you for your thoughtful comments.
@sc1994 Banned female pros also come back. I recently saw a pro get banned, come back under a different name, get banned again and then come back a third time under a different name and get banned again. I won’t be surprised if she tried to come back again. I also saw another pro get banned, then come back with a different name and fake pics, she was found out and then banned again. Trust me, it happens.
@bobadevotee The banned guy was totally giving off red flags, and was resistant to advice on fixing it. I totally agree with pretty much everything you said, and I'm hesitant to bring up a woman's appearance in almost any occasion (even in dating) for the reasons listed in this thread elsewhere. But what do you think about @Morpheus comment here:
I was at Starbucks the other day with my wife. I had never met the barista before and as I ordered, I said, you look beautiful in your red dress. As we walked away and waited for our drinks, my wife says to me, she’s either going to think you’re a creepy old man or think you’re cute cause you remind her of her Grandpa. Yes, back handed compliment, my wife is good for that. As she handed us our drinks, she also handed me a gift card for a free drink and said, thank you for making my day. My point, my wife is right, everyone is different. Some people like compliments and some don’t
Perhaps the comment was seen as okay because he was with his wife, which made him look less like a creep? Or since we're not mind readers it's better for men not to bring up random compliments (particularly about appearance) because we don't know if we are going to creep a lady out (harmful behavior) or give someone a boost (+dopamine or whatever). Speaking of tips, when I tip baristas they don't seem to acknowledge it ( from my perspective), so I was wondering if they can see if you're putting in a credit card tip?
@Morpheus Also I don't think your wife was giving you a backhanded compliment, it just sounded like she was saying that your compliment was slightly risky but it turned out to be all good in the end
Thank you @sunnysideup
A good woman can definitely make a man look more respectable. I think I am perceived as safer when I’m with my wife and or my Daughter than when I am alone.
Slightly off topic, whenever I drive through sobriety check points and I’m alone, I’ve always been stopped and questioned, when I’ve driven through them and I’m with my wife or daughter, I’ve always just been waved through.
In all fairness though, despite my comment, I generally avoid physical compliments with cuddlers I’ve met on this site at least until I’ve gotten to know them and feel that I’ve developed that rapport with them.
@Morpheus Sounds reasonable. I've noticed that I'm more or less invisible when I go out by myself, but when I'm with one of my friends that is a woman, I seem to get a lot more attention from other women - going out of their way to chat, even eyeing me up
I got banned because I had carnal knowledge with a pro and told a friend on the site about it. This discussion gave me notoriety and I’m assuming @charliebear went through my messages and dug it up.
It’s pitiful to see what people have to say when a person isn’t there to defend themselves but I can’t say I’m surprised.
I’m a bit misanthropic so I tried giving people a chance. I’m sure it’ll mean nothing to you all but I’m glad I made some friends while I was here. I’ll just have to try something else.
Stay safe.
@wishdeath I had nothing to do with your ban. That was not a report I handled. Though this account I will be the one responsible.
@wishdeath You just admitted to breaking community and forum rules and then blamed someone else for your ban. It also means that you went and contradicted most of the things that you discussed on your threads - especially asking what a guy has to do to get a cuddle when you're really trying to shag. If you're trying to shag, there are plenty of places to do that which are not in a platonic cuddling community. You make yourself and men look bad by doing that and you wonder why women have issues trusting us.
Stop blaming the admins or the community, and self-reflect for a moment. Best of luck.
One of the times I don't really lean into calling someone out for being a stupid douche and give the benefit of the doubt and they end up being someone who really ended up being a stupid douche who deserved to be called out. So much for being neutral .
Ok here I’ll vent a little bit because I am so sick of people lying and playing the victim. I went and checked. Just to note a few things you said on the site in regards to a pro session you had (without using the booking panel):
“ We broke all the rules”
And then after a lengthy description of what happened:
“From that moment on things escalated, and we ****** the rest of the session.”
Not sure what you would be defending here. Even if it was all false, that is bannable. You are talking to pro about having sex with another pro. Your explanation isn’t needed in this case.
🙄 Well, if I become a corpse, at least we know the one responsible.
Note: The person you were talking to was not the person that reported you. If you are reported, your convos are not private.
Didn’t know banned accounts can still respond! That was quite the jump scare!
@sc1994 He made a new account after he was banned.
@sc1994 banned accounts are known to come sliming their way back in where they're not welcome with all kinds of new names, but their bad behavior gets found out pretty quickly
My GOD that was fast.
There's value in the conversation, which is why we started engaging...not simply for who we're directly responding to, but for the benefit of the lurkers, future readers, other newbies...
Thiiiiiiiis ^^^^ it's also why a lot of the time I don't even direct my responses to the OP/troll, but speak in general terms. I know arguing with a brick wall isn't going to change their mind... but it can help educate others, both on the topic and towards potential red flag people to avoid.
Pushing trolls' buttons back helps weed them out faster, as well. They show their true colors when they get triggered and that in turn pushes them from deliberately toeing the lines to actually crossing them. Is it considered baiting? Maybe. But I try to always engage in good faith as well and not resort to their tactics.
Well, kudos to whomever reported him. While perhaps his threads only toed the line individually, in combination they are a pattern common among PUA/boundary pushers.
PUA=pickup artists. I don't like spelling it out as it becomes searchable since the entire forum is open to the public. I don't want to give those creeps any more breath than necessary to call them out.
@cuddlefaery Was he peacocking? lol 🦚 👀
🤢🤢🤢
@Minestrone101 Did you really just tell me yesterday that I never lose faith in humanity? Think it's gone again.
@CharlieBear I hope the Pro who was ******* him got banned, too.
I give up, I'm going to bed.
@SunsetSnuggles Well, there's always next time.
https://images.app.goo.gl/Bz1TKSTtuyyWzAEAA https://images.app.goo.gl/ohXJiTyiYY9D8S4EA
LMAOOO I love how this escalated 🤣
This dude is absolutely insane. “Boohoo I’m misanthropic and I was kind enough to give people a chance on this site 😭 feel bad for me”
“Oh also I f****** this pro’s brains out haha”
But somehow nothing is his fault and it’s everyone else. Oh poor guy. Yeah people must suck so much, that’s why he’s become so “misanthropic” (ie. mad that people call him out for his bad behavior instead of telling him how he does everything right all the time)
For the record, creeper, I’d absolutely say all this to your face, with all of the profanity un-redacted 🤣 Wild that you think women aren’t bold enough to tell you off irl
@Midnight01 Your diagnosis was right!
Good scroll thanks everyone.
Is Starbucks open yet?
it may be obvious but sometimes the most obvious is forgotten when not mentioned. The main reason for that is that there is really no downside and nothing to lose so why not give it a crack?
Speaking of unmentioned obvious, I might be worth noting that the Pro OP had sex with also had sex with him and that there is no indication that the interaction was nonconsensual. And the person who got banned yesterday for their cuddle outfit preferences was also a woman (and I doubt any man here forced her to place that comment in her profile). Just couple items for the usual man blaming crowd to consider. I have been critical of both sides.
@Morpheus So I did go to Starbucks this morning but none of the ladies was wearing a red dress, so I just kept my mouth shut. at least I kick started the tip jar.