@starrynitecuds there has got to be a model out there that would work. So many thi gs do it. I mean apps do it, shopping sites do it the list goes on. I'm just saying it's not an impossibility.
Who’s taking on a bigger burden of risk the female cuddle enthusiasts who have to risk cuddling rapists or the client who has to risk personal identification being potentially Leaked years down the line?
@ReltvlyCanshes which shopping sites require official state/country ID?
Personally to me and I don't want this to sound the wrong way, I realize the risk I just am just not on board with the solution to making the site more appealing to non cuddle pro women being required IDs when you make an account. That opinion won't change based on what ifs.
Well i don't mean those specific things but there are other devices that do have identification qualities. Credit cards for one. I mean in reality most emails have some of these qualities but not much. I'm not suggesting anything specific I'm just suggesting something more.
@brownglucose
So, others should sacrifice their safety and security to better provide for your safety and security?
Why would anyone do that?
The answer to that is yes and no. Safety and security should be what's important, if it's to risky for one parties safety and security than the other parties safety and security then maybe neither party should do it. Sometimes someone am has to take a position. Some individuals take that position for themselves but when thinking of the environment that needs to be safe for all then maybe the site should take a position. I only bring this up again because the OP was about making it more inviting and i think the major reason it's inviting is the ease of which people can act in away that makes everyone safe and secure( less inviting)
One scenario results in mild discomfort and the other results in exposure to sexual and physical violence. It’s clear some of you don’t understand or care about the difference in the burden of risk, so trying to convince someone like you is futile. The current structure doesn’t affect me much since I’m already trained in vetting strangers for this kind of service. However, my heart goes out to the newcomer who dive into the cuddle space unaware of the wolves lurking in this den
Edit to center Female enthusiasts
@brownglucose please respect that this is a thread about female enthusiasts, not pros.
my heart goes out to the newcomer pros who dive into the cuddle space unaware of the wolves lurking in this den.
@starrynitecuds sure
Wolves hunt indiscriminately. New enthusiast ladies and men can be victims. I do t say that to minimize what you're saying @brownglucose im saying to remind those that feel confident they are safe from harm because they are men.
Dave Chapelle made a joke about a serial violator of men in Texas once. I think he mentioned 17 victims the thought he was bringing up is that there were probably hundreds because they are ashamed to report.
But sexual violence is not the only kind of violence that can occur. Be vigilant always everyone. No one is tough enough for what they don't expect or are prepared for.
I agree with all of whT you're saying
‘Burden of risk’ refers to the responsibility one party holds for potential losses or damages associated with a specific activity or situation.
I believe it’s important to clarify that we do not assume responsibility for risks taken by others.
Our responsibility lies solely in ensuring that our actions do not pose a danger to others.
So, you know, I feel confident that I have a clear understanding of the concept of ‘burden of risk.’
I don't think it's enough to not be responsible for another's burden of risk , i think it's important that we consider and and limit the burden of risk for everyone.
@ReltvlyCanshes Best of luck with that slippery slope.
Tell you what, the moment I have any authority over the actions of others I will willingly be responsible for those actions.
Luckily for me, I have no such authority over others, and nowhere near enough power or influence.
Warning to Everyone: I cannot save you. Look out for yourself. Good luck!
My thoughts precisely @ReltvlyCanshes Reducing harm means users have more energy to allocate towards cuddling 🫂
Wether you want notice or not this is a community of people there isn't much community of thinking of only individuals
Sometimes I read people's posts and think, "Boy, I am sure women are lining up to cuddle you after reading this ..."
@CharlieBear
@starrynitecuds @Katota If the account has things that are non-platonic but it's not egregious and not indicating they are looking for sex (or non-platonic elsewhere), we edit the profile and issue a warning first instead of banning them. It also depends on their messages. Some that only are edited have nothing questionable in their messages so we remind them the purpose of the site and they hopefully use it properly. But if their messages make it clear they are looking for more, yeah just a ban with no warning.
Thank you for confirming that something like this is not bannable. it's good that people have an idea. we always appreciate the education.
Yikes
If considering and limiting risk is a slippery slope, I think I'll like where that slope is going. I mean, it could lead to people being considerate of other people, not violating rules, or even seeing things from other peoples' perspectives.
@IronLemon Its a romantic thought, but history doesn’t support it.
Remember: The California Missions were built to shelter travelers and “Save” the natives from their heathen ways.
Trying to control the actions of others is rarely effective, and never productive.
Controlling our own actions gives us a slight chance to improve the world.
There are PLENTY of well meaning, but utterly stupid, people that are doing everything they can to ban certain people from reading books to kids, or using the public restrooms, or being a teacher or coach. And all in the name of “limiting the risk” to kids.
So, yeah, good luck with that slippery slope.
When I need help, I prefer to ask for it.
@CharlesGrove I fail to see how any of what you mentioned has to do with being aware of risk. I suppose I should clarify, being aware of legitimate risk. Everything you cited is the result of bigotry.
@IronLemon Sure.
Um, who exactly defines, “legitimate”?
And, let’s be serious, ALL of human history is the result of bigotry.
@brownglucose You seriously just blocked me after sending me a message wishing me a happy holidays just earlier and after us chatting and being friends all this time because I dont agree with you about mandatory IDs when you join the site ? Wowsers that was unexpected, I thought we were friends essentially on the same side here, not opposition...
This, here and now, we can look at. The issue is risks involved with being a cuddler, whether enthusiasts or pros. This is not that large a domain. Risk can be defined fairly easily. It can't be compared with the "risk" invented by fearmongers.
Here and now, we can examine the risks involved in being a cuddler, determine the causes of these risks, and develop solutions to mitigate the risk.
@CharlieBear I see, offering "tantric massage and other body work are extra" (with no fees listed, which makes it a "menu") isn't ban-worthy. Got it.
As to being aware of the risks in a profession that serves primal needs to lonely people in a private space…
I am very aware of those risks.
I’ve been a moderator for websites very much like this one. I have been personal security for sex workers, strippers, and sex therapists. I have been an adult in a very dangerous world for quite awhile.
I, personally, would never take any of the risks that the professional cuddlers here do.
And if my economic circumstances essentially dictated that I must, I would absolutely have an escort in the car/living room/lobby/hallway, vet every potential client with a professional service, have AT LEAST two hours over the course of a few weeks of video chats, and meet with them for public cuddles for the first two or three sessions.
But I would have to have no other option.
It is VERY dangerous. Most people aren’t terrible, just sort of vaguely selfish and awful. But it only takes one.
Again, I wouldn’t do it.
And I was paid to fight humans for more than a decade.
I certainly don't think moderators are at fault..they work hard to fix problems..I. also think owners exploit them...they should be paid for their work.
Merry Xmas Ppl