Thanks for your thoughtful reply! I see where you’re coming from, but I think there’s more nuance here.
On HyperMasculinity: as you’re describing it, is rooted in biology—testosterone, aggression, domination, etc.—and sure, those elements have existed for thousands of years. But masculinity as a concept isn’t just biological; it’s also cultural and constantly evolving. What’s considered “masculine” in one society or era can look completely different in another and while the biology may remain steady, how men express or embody masculinity has absolutely changed. To say otherwise is ahistorical.
On human nature: I agree that there are some constants, but adaptability is also part of human nature. The social and dating landscapes have shifted dramatically, and while that can feel disorienting for some men, it doesn’t mean the new dynamics are “against nature.” It might just mean that the old scripts don’t work anymore, and learning new ones feels challenging. That’s not to say it’s easy—but it’s not unnatural either.
On monogamy: I get the argument that strict monogamy may not be biologically ingrained, but reducing its failures to “human nature” feels oversimplified. Relationships are built on more than just instinct; Plenty of people value and succeed in monogamy because it aligns with their priorities, not because they’re denying some primal urge. Sure, it takes effort—and not everyone wants it—but that doesn’t make it inherently doomed. I would say more but I’m not gonna go there on cuddle comfort since people here are very sensitive. lmao. Thanks for sharing.
To my knowledge, I have never met a monogamous person.
They must exist, but I have yet to meet one. Perhaps a few here and there that are still younger people and just starting their journeys in the Relationship Labyrinths.
Most humans are serial monogamists, up until opportunity and motive meet, and relationships change yet again.
Something something something nothing but mammals. Something something something the Discovery Channel.
@brownglucose Absolutely and thanks for the banter and your thoughts :-) We don't see this eye to eye but that's the beauty of democracy :-) have a good day!!
Just a simple question....is there anything wrong with women having male friends? I certainly don't mind!
@Daddy29520 you do the same. hugs
Women can have men friends Women can have Women friends Men can have men friends Men can have Women friends
Women can choose the bear over the men
@Man29520 ”masculinity comes from the testes of men, and makes them a man”.
Your post made me physically ill, and you have done what no one else could do - give me enough cause to remove myself permanently from these forums. So cheers to everyone, no one has to hear from me anymore.
This is not a progressive and safe space for women. These posts make me genuinely fear men.
The forums weren't created as a progressive or safe space for only women and certainly not just for you but for everyone to feel welcome.
I think men are usually simple and do not talk behind the back. You need few of them in friend circle to balance it out.
You can be friends with any human. The problem is, with the vast majority of them, why would you want to?
You can be friends with any human.
The problem is, with the vast majority of them, why would you want to?
In most cases because of attraction or benefit. In a more pure form because you bond over things/values you have in common
I have a bit of an issue with the whole "all men this" or "all women that" approach. I just don't think you can ascribe mental or emotional characteristics to an entire gender and ignore individual behavior. I have lots of women friends, and not one of them behaves or reacts like another. I have male friends who are faithful to the core to their partners and had male friends who cheated on their wives. Humans, male and female, don't come out of a cookie-cutter all the same.
All of my friends are guys because women are DRAMA and I don't want to hear it! Do SOME of them want in my pants? SURE!! But that IN NO WAY means it's going to happen (I know them too well- The turn OFFs ARE STRONG too!!). They're not "like brothers" to me, but I can trust them to give me an honest opinion if a pair of jeans aren't flattering or a dress is too tight and they're not going to get all "excited" if I ask if someone could see my bra through my shirt (they're protective). If you find the right MATURE and RESPECTFUL ones- It's great!!
@NikkiFM TheFunCartel has most definitely earned the title of being my "standard" cuddler. EVERYONE should be the cuddler he is!! 🥳
@billiam Most males these days associate "lonliness" with bedroom activities (are we allowed to use the word sex on the forums??) and women see that as a ploy to get them into bed- NO THANK YOU!!
@brownglucose You're too literal!! Lighten up!
@great_pillow08 I appreciate you clueing me in on this. I didn't know loneliness is a red flag word like massage is (for some women).
This is very troubling as the truth of the matter, irrespective of what the bad actors are saying to get women into bed, is that a lot of men are lonely. I guess it's like everything in life, a few bad apples ruin it for everyone.
There is something to be said for men, especially young men, misinterpreting their loneliness for bedroom activities. I can speak for my upbringing and for what other American men my age have told me, and what I've seen for myself. It goes like this (again, for SOME men):
Your physical affection needs are to be fulfilled by mother and other adult, female family members. These physical affection needs should be met by the age of... say 10 or so. Then you need to grow up and be a man. After which, your physical needs will solely be met by your girlfriends and then wife. If you didn't get this as a child, you are screwed. Because that will be a heavy burden to take into any romantic relationship you have as an adult.
So yes, many men confuse their real loneliness with a desire for bedroom activities because that is the only socially acceptable outlet for them as far as many of us can tell, especially those in my generation. Many men are actually, genuinely, honestly, deeply deeply lonely and they are dying over it. Men are 4 times more likely to end their lives than women.
This is not me saying men have it worse than women. I'm just saying that many men are genuinely lonely. Some men are causing a lot of damage in the bedroom areas and ruining it for everyone. But it's not true that most men aren't really lonely, that they just want bedroom fun. I know you didn't say that, you just said they associate it that way. Many men, especially young ones, are pretty clueless as to what is actually driving their feeling and behaviors. I don't think very many fathers and mothers have done a very good job raising their children to have this kind of knowledge and awareness. I had to get mine from TV and songs and movies as my mom and dad were worthless in this area. Worse than worthless actually. Quite damaging to be honest.
Also, this is not a problem that women have to fix. I'm not saying that, or that they caused it. I think there is too much pressure put onto women, especially significant others, to be the sole outlet for men's loneliness. And I don't excuse men who do act out in harmful bedroom ways just because they are feeling bad. There's no excuse for abusing others.
I'm so grateful for the women in my life. No drama there...
I always find posts about how women or men are so far off my personal experience that I must conclude that I live in a bubble of empathetic, caring, non judgemental DEITIES that defy all gender roles and societal expectations.
Also I grew up without TV so maybe I'm missing something else about how to generalize an entire planet of unique beings.
I was fortunate to grow up surrounded by loving, strong, hilarious, brilliant, clever, and beautiful women, so it never occurred to me that others might have had different experiences. I’m incredibly grateful for the community of women I have now, who pour into me, uplift me, and inspire me to aim higher. Even as we each make strides in our careers, we always prioritize time for one another. It’s an absolute honor to be part of a circle of women who consistently show up and have my back.
Yep. People have vastly different formative experiences. Which I'm sure impacts the quality of their friendships.
I have some great female friends. Many of them have no problem having female friends. Others just can't do it, at all.
men are perfectly capable of being around people they dislike for lots of reasons like to preserve a group of friends. i don't think either would willingly be in the same room as someone they hate because they probably won't have the same friends if their personalities clash so hard.
according to 2022 report, women backstab more than men.
I've only had male friends the majority of my existence. It started when I was a young girl, the girls wouldn't play with me because I wanted to climb trees, fish, ride dirt bikes. I would mud Hogg and they wasn't for it.
Now I'm an adult, I like cars, sports betting, casino gambling and no women I've ever ran into is even interested. My child is an adult, 27 years old, and they have small kids so they kinda count me out.
My guy friends, all platonic, we are all single and can move accordingly. No need to book babysitters, we can just roll out at anytime, we also all work 3rd shift mostly. If it's 3am on off days, I can call up either one up and say I'm bored, what's the move and roll out.
I have accepted this is what it's going to be and I'm good with it.
I absolutely disagree that.men capable of being around a group of other men to preserve the group. For one..that portrays men as being superficial. Also it implies a reliance on group friendships. LI value independence and the freedom to form my own friendships..regardless of gender.
❤️❤️❤️❤️Maybe Everyone needs some SUN ☀️…. Maybe a VACATION …. Last summer everyone was so happy when I first started cuddling lol … ❤️❤️❤️
I believe that comments on this forum usually lose sight of the following… that every absolute you state, there’s likely an exception. You can speak mostly from your own experience (or studies you’ve read) but not for others unless they share their actual experiences with you. People here constantly make generalized statements about strangers.
By the way, understanding that there tend to be the occasional exception in a control group that involves multiple billions of data points is the responsibility of the reader.
Read/listen to what someone says, and if you don’t believe it, then research it.
Seriously, everyone is full of poop.
Believe accordingly.
(Besides, I prefer it when people barely edit themselves. I like seeing how dumb people truly are.)
Self reflection has value
Ahhh poop!
Occasional exception?? 🤔 I wouldn’t try to make such definitive statements but that’s just be because I recognize I don’t know the inner thoughts of online strangers (or even my ex-husband during our marriage!)
@CharlesGrove 💩👍💩👍💩👍💩