in my area, all cuddlers have been off their accounts for at least a month. Why do they not come back?
Who knows. I see most people make an account and then don't come back again for weeks or months
Maybe they were just curious. Maybe they didn't find what they were looking for. Maybe they're fake.
I've been on here for about a year and it's been sad to see a lot of forum personalities vanish, guys and girls both.
On the flip side there are always new bright lights joining.
Hi. I believe a lot of folks think that Cuddle Comfort is a dating site and/or a cover for escorting. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked about "extras". Ugh.
The site is clearly not advertised as such but I really do think that once they realize it's not a dating site, they just don't bother.
I believe that most of the non pro females are here out of either curiosity, they are fake accounts or they're treating this like a dating site.
I believe that the same goes for the non pro men on the site but in addition, the men are here for pro females as well as they are treating the site like an escort site.
I also know that many of the pros once they meet a client, no longer use the site to book them so they can avoids giving the site it's cut. Those females because less active once they build a clientele base off site. Many of the men slow down on the site once they've established a regular pro off site.
In regards to what @andicain said about men asking for extras, they do that because of the pros who offer extras. This leads them to believe that all pros may potentially offer extras.
Most of the core members that have been here for the last year or so are still here. From when I originally joined the site back in October 2015, my profile for some reason says 2016, there are only 2 pros in LA that are still active.
I think platonic cuddling has plateaued. There was a great period of growth but it's broken right now but it can be fixed.
@Morpheus What you wrote sounds really strange to me. I joined this pretty recently knowing full well that this is not a dating site.
Aside from that, aren't there much more efficient dating tools available? I recently looked up tinder and it apparently uses a location based system which matches people based on physical attraction. It sounds really smart to me and that's what I would be using if I were looking for a partner. Though maybe it's just a hookup program? I don't know, I haven't used it. It still sounds quite clever though and I would like to check it out at some point if only just to see how it works.
As to the OP......I am not sure. Potential reasons off the top of my head are:
-They made it to see if someone else they knew was on the site -They were feeling particularly lonely one night -They want cuddles but feel ashamed or something -They didn't like any of the profiles in their area so they closed/forgot about CC -CC is not what they thought it was -They were trashed when they made the account and didn't remember making it when they woke up
I am sure there are other potential reasons that didn't come to me as I was writing that.
Regarding you though I am sorry you don't have anyone in your area It sounds like you're disappointed. Try messaging the people who are in your area since it does send them an email when you do.
I can also say that you're not alone. I've not had a good cuddle in ages. Probably 10+ years. It's partly my fault since I don't really go out much or talk to many people. But yeah, don't give up. Joining this site is a good step towards finding what you want
Maybe because it's exceedingly difficult to actually find someone to cuddle here? I've been a member since 2012 and in that time have lived in 3 cities, and have only actually cuddled someone from here once.
It's difficult but not impossible to find someone to cuddle with, JJ, I'm meeting my 4th cuddle buddy in a few days and I've been here not long over a year, I realise there's a lot of luck involved as to whether anyone active is nearby though.
As for people not coming back, well I doubt there's any one particular reason for everyone, I know one person who stopped coming on as she's now in a relationship and didn't want to keep finding cuddle buddies, some people might just keep meeting the same people and don't feel the desire to meet anyone new so don't feel the need to come on here to arrange sessions, some people may just not find the time anymore, could be anything really. If you see someone who's not been active lately but you still wanna chat and maybe meet you might as well still message them as you never know, they might come online and reply. Got to live in hope, right?
I'm not here for the reasons @morpheus suggests men are here for. When I joined up, I already knew this wasn't a dating site, nor an escort site. I'm not "curious" about cuddles; I know what they are and I know I want them. I'm here purely to find platonic cuddles. OK, so that's me.
As for the females' profiles in my area, many (probably most) have not visited the site for over 6 months, or even over a year. In the beginning I wrote to about 10 or so, and IIRC only one replied but only to say thanks but no thanks I've got a boyfriend now.
When new cuddlers have joined, I've sent them a welcome message and an invite to chat. Most ignored my message completely. One checked out my profile but didn't reply to my message.
Then another new cuddler joined and before I got a chance to send a message I noticed she'd visited my profile. Noticing she wasn't from my city but from a couple hours' drive away, I wrote to her asking her not to be put off by my profile not listing me as being able to host, and that I could host if need be but prefer not to because of the type of home I have. She wrote back, and for about 4 days we exchanged lots of messages about what we were each looking for (which happened to be a good match for both) and general chit chat, and then she suggested meeting up that weekend, and a time was set for Friday afternoon. On Thursday after work I got a message saying she unfortunately didn't have time available after all, so it would have to be next weekend or the one after that. (I'm paraphrasing briefly but her message was written very positively.)
I wrote back suggesting other possible timeslots that same weekend, but if not possible then the next weekend or the one after that (as per her suggestion) would be fine.
It is now a week later and she hasn't been back to the website to even read my message. Tomorrow is Friday, and this coming weekend could potentially have been another time to meet up for a cuddle, but it's not looking good and I'm confused by her just dropping off the radar like that. Did she get cold feet? Did she have an accident and end up in hospital? Did some misfortune befall her or someone in her family? Did her computer or smartphone blow up? Has she decided that cuddling, or at least cuddling with a relative stranger, is not really her cup of tea? Did her desire for a cuddle evaporate suddenly? Or is there something wrong with me?
I've never been good at figuring out the fairer gender.
@Frankincense Don't spend too much time thinking about it. That happens to women, too, not just men. Yes, people do get cold feet and everything else you mentioned. I've had a lot of the exact thing you describe happen to me on dating sites. I haven't been on CC long enough for it to happen to me here, but I fully expect it will. All we can do is get back on the horse and keep looking. And good luck to you. You seem like a great guy. You're bound to find someone sooner or later.
@Frankincense I've also had the same thing happen with a guy I met with one time to get to know for platonic cuddling. I had dinner with him and had a great conversation for a few hours, but then he ghosted me. It was disappointing, but such is life I guess!
I was on the site once before, and I got started on the wrong foot with some people, or within my own comfort. So I deleted, gave just a little time, and I'm back, trying to keep things square.
I think @JJ nailed it, at least expressing my sentiments. I've had better luck broaching the subject with women I already know than on this site specifically for that purpose. When you put energy and thought into message after message and people, particularly women, don't even look at your profile in response, never mind responding, it gets to seeming pretty pointless. If I'm going to be treated like a creep, I might as well try a dating site and not have to worry about it if I feel a romantic or sexual attraction.
Another possible reason why someone might abandon the site is that they've met someone in real life, either a romantic partner or just a good platonic friend, and this new person meets their cuddle needs and they now feel that remaining on CC would be like cheating or they simply have no need for additional cuddle buddies anymore.
I was going to meet with a cuddler and we agreed on a day and time. A few days later, she sends me a message that she has to recharge her batteries, so she is taking a hiatus for a few months. She deactivated her profile, so I could not reply to her. Is cuddling really that strenuous that someone needs to take a break from it?
@RScarf1 my understanding from speaking with the paid cuddlers I have made friends with is that it can be very emotionally taxing. Remember, this is not the same as a sales job, food, labor, what have you. They tend to feel like they are in performance mode all the time, have men push boundaries and at times assault them, give their time, space, energy, and body to people who they ordinarily would not, and at times feel a bit cheapened and jaded about cuddling due to these and other negative experiences. It is not fair to minimize or make light of that. It comes off as rather condescending.
I wonder if the "not coming back" part might be, for some, linked to a form of shame and guilt surrounding one's own needs, feelings and seeing the vulnerability that emerges from within. Though, at least they know of this place within their hearts they might be uneasy about and that's a start. In time, things might, step by step, lead to other spaces within their consciousness and awareness.
It might also be, that some simply don't find people in their area, get no responses and are frustrated ( which would probably be the case I'd stop using a website, if I did ).
It's hard to find people to cuddle even if they are paid pros. I had two who suddenly increased their price. While im sure they'd cuddle at their unadvertised price, there's no reason for a bait and switch here.
She goes from "I'm looking forward to meeting you" after we agreed to a day and time to "I'm taking a hiatus/break for a few months." It just seems strange to me. I'm not trying to sound disparaging. I understand that there is time and effort involved with being a professional cuddler, but the customers have to put in time and money. When I was a private tutor and went to the homes of students, that was time and effort. I was teaching and trying to make a student understand reading or math. It's not something everyone can do and the pay that I got per hour was not $80. It was $30 per hour and even with inflation, people don't want to pay much more than that for tutoring in 2017.
I agree with @pmvines that cuddling is differentiated work that can't be compares to, say, tutoring.
I asked a pro a couple weeks ago if she could schedule with me for this Monday and she said to check in with her in a week. I checked in with her, she said yes and then as of yesterday, she temporarily disabled her account and never even told me anything. Then she came back and blocked me. I was like wtf happened lol She probably thinks I'm going to leave her bad karma which you can't do without having a session anyway.
@RScarf1 you are not taking into account the emotional effort and toll cuddling may take on someone who is expected to always be able to be affectionate, intimate , and interested. Cuddling a loved one of a friend is different then cuddling for pay. You are doing things with people that you may not really want to be doing with them but there is the expectation of playing the part and being on at all times. You also are doing all the giving typically, whereas when you are cuddling with someone for pleasure and leisure you are both giving and nurturing each other. Some people do it even though they aren't in the mood to, and again, there is always the possibility that she had been experiencing some issues with certain clients pushing boundaries and making her feel cheap. I know a paid cuddler who recently cuddled someone she had seen several times before, and this time he cupped her boob, tried to dry hump her, and told her he was in love. Another friend recently had someone stick his hand down back of her pants, dry hump her, and said relax, its just pleasure. Another person a few mo back I'm friends with had someone stick his finger up her shorts into her vagina and she had to fight him to get away. I can go on, because I have heard a lot of stories from people on here (I happen to get to know a lot of folks here in a personal level, not just looking at them as cuddle machines). So just because you are not necessarily doing these things or causing emotional duress for a person doesn't mean you have any real idea to what they are currently or have been experiencing.
I agree that it is a job with risks, pmvines. I have sympathy and understanding for that. The job is not for everyone. I think it is hard for women emotionally and I think that is why a lot of them quit or take a break. I don't think it is necessarily because of customers groping them, although I am sure it does exist as you described. It is almost as if there is like a light switch and they can go from wanting to do the job to leaving it permanently. I met one cuddler from this website at a Starbucks and we had a nice talk. She wanted to meet me first before we had a session which would be on another day. A few days later, she sent me a message on the website that she does not want to cuddle for the foreseeable future because of her health problems. I replied to her and stated that I understand. She blocked me after that. I don't pretend to know what cuddlers go through. I'm just saying that some of them change their mind about the job after they schedule an appointment. I realize that it is what it is. I will just erase the conversation and that's the end of it until I encounter this sometime in the future.
As a Veteran to this site, there's unfortunately a lot of negatives that pushes people away. As you gain time on this website, you'll begin to discover these things yourself due to the interactions you have privately and publicly.
I'm out.
I'm just being honest. If people can't handle the truth, so be it.
I can only say from my opinion as a man who is interested in women... the way I see it, most of them are just window shoppers or aren't really interested in cuddling or such.
Creating a profile is free, they have no problem with just taking a quick look, seeing that there are no super amazing charismatic men, so they don't log in anymore. But they don't bother to delete their profiles. I also assume many men want more than just a cuddle, but I find it strange why women don't want more, i.e. kissing, relationship, sex etc. in that case. Weird.
I can't comment on men.
I think if possible there could be an App made for this site it could be easier for the cuddles and pro's to log in and keep up on communication and business. One person mentioned that maybe someone created an account then forgot about it, if there was an app it would be on their device to remind them, save their password etc. No physical appearance doesn't matter we are all here for the same reason but to have others have to put in a picture could encourage cuddling and weed out those that really aren't interested. And after 30-60 days of inactivity am email be sent out giving option to come back or unsubscribe. I can understand pro's needing a break but this is a business, communicate to clients or possible clients. Yes it is sad that this type of therapy seems to be pleting but it's just a slow moment pre-holiday it will speed back op as others feel the need to cuddle.
The app discussion has been had before and there's really no difference between an app and the mobile version of this site. You can all set up an icon on your phones home screen to give the exact feel of an app. If anyone wants to know how to do it, PM me and I'll help you.
I'm wondering if some people bail because of the hostility of some of the regulars on the forum.
I think it's like what @JJ and @JT1980
I was pretty active to start, but nothing can happen without communication from both sides. Over time, interest in/potential of this site goes down due to inactivity.