@weluvcuddles yes, but sometimes people vent looking only for validation, and sometimes they vent trying to work through a thought with others, in which case discussion would be welcome. Your original post made it sound like an opening for discussion, not a "I just need to be heard", so people engaged with it accordingly.
@cozycuddler4you if you go back to the original post, you'll see that he complained not about pros who say they host but then don't make arrangements - he explicitly complained about hosting fees. It was only after he received pushback from people that he redefined his complaint to cover pros who list they host in the search fields, but then require the guest to make arrangements. He's made two different complaints, and has been trying to say they're the same thing because people pointed out that the pros charging hosting fees are still hosting. He moved the goal posts because he wasn't getting the response he wanted.
From the OP (emphasis mine):
I think it's dishonest, misleading and false advertisement to put hosting on profile if you are not actually hosting. I don't say come to the diner party I'm hosting and make sure to drop $100 in the hat on the way in. It even rubs me wrong when they have a hosting fee, like $50 and you can cuddle with me in the hotel they rented. Imo if you can't actually host, which means allow a person into your space as part of the transaction, then don't put down "host".
Deleting to end conversation
@cuddlefaery I wouldn't call it moving the goal post. He either changed his mind about host fees (which is a good thing, right?) OR he did a terrible job explaining his complaint in his first post and clarified it later. Some people bring issues to the forum for community discussion with an open mind (versus doubling down and proving their point no matter what.)
@cozycuddler4you that wasn't the vibe I was getting from his following comments 🤷🏻♀️
Lol that last bolded sentence felt rather pointed
Day 5 and counting…
Out on my boat 🛥️ and signing out ..it’s such a beautiful day 🌞 hope EVERYONE is enjoying this weather too... If I ever host on my boat I will be sure to write in my profile that I will be charging a hosting fee , so, there are no misunderstandings . I don’t want anyone else to get upset for 5 or 6 days or longer if I leave the hosting fee part out.. this is just awful. I hope you feel better soon ..
@cozycuddler4you I was not only addressing what he said but other commenters as well, other commenters mentioned fees. But he argues that pros arranging the hotel is still not hosting, it must be in their personal space, their home. Anything else he doesn't consider as hosting. He wants only people using their own home to host to put host on their profile, if they use a hotel he considers it dishonest to put host. And that's not how it works.
I agree if the pro says they can host but then wants the client to book the hotel, that's obviously not hosting.
I do wish we could add reactions to other people's posts...
Goodness OP, you're so whiny
@weluvcuddles one way to reframe it: just because someone can host, and so puts it in their profile, doesn't mean they will host for everyone/you. It's best to iron out all details that are important to you via messaging rather than relying on the search filter to vet for you.
The search filter is a blunt tool meant to narrow down the prospective pool a bit - but it can't tell you whether or not the other person is compatible with your needs. Only conversation and negotiation can do that.
Don't like some detail in a person's profile, or a bit of info they reveal during a proper vetting process?
Just move on.
It's unbelievably easy.
@LilyAnneNova makes sense and what you're describing is not how most interpret hosting. I didn't read every response in detail, just skimmed so didn't pick up on everything. Seems like there's general understanding of what host and guest mean in this community, with a few (loud) exceptions.
@weluvcuddles
Yes, I’m currently in the process of moving and normally I do not host, but right now I’m offering an alternative arrangement for clients who already prefer hotel sessions.
As you said, “which is gross to me.”
To clarify, I’m offering clients the option of covering the hotel room and CC booking fee (15% of my normal hourly rate) in place of my normal cuddle fee for up to 2 hours ... Not in addition to it. The only difference is that payment happens when the room is booked, whether earlier in the day or when we meet at the hotel. Which honestly is not much different from CC’s policy requiring payment before sessions begin anyway.
Most of my clients are businessmen who already have hotel rooms, others prefer hosting in their homes, and some prefer discretion and feel more comfortable with me booking the room in my name.
I’ve been doing this professionally for 4 years and typically do not host at all. My clients are used to covering the location while also paying my regular cuddle rate.
Due to my current moving situation, I’m temporarily offering a trade/barter style arrangement instead. In many cases it actually saves the client money, since a hotel room is often less than what a 2+ hour cuddle session would normally cost with me.
You personally may not like that arrangement, and that’s completely fine. But that does not make it unethical or “gross.” So @weluvcuddles ... By all means please explain to me how you see it as gross?
And honestly @weluvcuddles , I think @Morpheus (and maybe I'm wrong) is trying to help you here.
A lot of the pro cuddlers on this site do keep private notes for themselves on profiles after interactions or forum exchanges — especially if someone repeatedly speaks negatively about providers as a whole. People also talk, both on and off CC, because safety, comfort, and mutual respect matter in this line of work.
You may feel like you’re only commenting about a few individuals, but when broad statements are made calling providers “gross” or implying unethical behavior, people do take note of that. At the end of the day, this is still an intimate, trust-based service, and most pros are going to be cautious about sharing that space with someone who openly speaks about them with hostility or judgment.
No one is saying you have to agree with every provider’s business model or boundaries. If something isn’t for you, that’s completely okay. But there’s also a respectful way to disagree without insulting people who are simply operating differently than you would personally choose.
@MeltMyWay So well said with such clarity, I hope he finally understands that his complaint has been received and his resume as a client has been reviewed.
@Carrie_Anne and I hope not just him but others see it too. When I read any sort of bashing wether it's against pros or against clients ... I'm always astonished... This is the audio that plays in my head when people bash each other on here.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8pmoofC/
Like we all see what y'all are saying
Unbelievably easy indeed
@MeltMyWay
Yes, I’m definitely trying to help.
@weluvcuddles There are people who understood what you meant, and indeed no reason to apologize to anyone.
But as usual pros feel offended and people are ready to judge and tell you how to proceed and word your thoughts.
I suggest to not start threads anymore, for your own peace of mind 😉
@weluvcuddles i think its a fair vent but i encourage you to see if this can be productive by unselfishly thinking about solutions.
Think about a pro who cant host at home but is willing to spend time and energy to arrange a place to host.
If they just put guest, they miss out on clients who need to find pros who can host even with a fee. Those clients also will miss finding the pros because they'll then otherwise have to read through every profile in their search results which you have deemed as inconvenient. So solutions are
1 can be suggested to site moderators. 2 will make prices higher than they need to be for certain scenarios. 3 isnt perfect but its a best middle ground since profiles should be read anyway.
If you have another solution that considers everyone and not just yourself pls suggest.
Also my unbiased opinion is that i 100% agree you come off as entitled in your comment replies. Enough people who have no reason to come after you have suggested this so maybe do some introspection.
@ramonCuddlz I’ve said like 95% of this just differently among my posts and his response was basically I’ve got mean girl energy lol maybe he’ll listen to you.
I never knew that cuddling had a community and a website for finding connections. I've only been on this site for a few months. As a newbie, and an enthusiast who hosts, I am finding that there are so many perspectives, details, trends, CC rules, etc. --- which have enabled me to better understand the layers and complexities of the way this community works for pros and their clients. I just wanted to acknowledge that I have learned a lot from reading these forums and appreciate everyone sharing their viewpoints so openly.
@Morpheus
I have to agree with some of the comments here. I don’t think it’s the clients responsibility to cover hotel costs, travel fees or any fee other than the cost of the cuddle. It doesn’t matter to me if she has to book a hotel or has to travel, that’s a cost of doing business that she has to incur which all businesses and contractors have to deal with. The average person who has an average job has to incur the cost of traveling to their job. They have to pay for their own car, their own gas and they aren’t compensated for travel time in most cases.
I disagree with these points. Most cuddlers that I have seen who charge a travel fee only do so when travel is outside of a certain radius from their home, which consumes a lot more of their time and gas, etc. Sometimes I have even seen those costs waived if the cuddle meets a minimum duration requirement.
Related to the hotel it can be situationally dependent also. I have seen cuddlers who will not charge a host fee when they plan for it, book a room for a day, and schedule it out so that the cost of the room is diluted over the number of hours they cuddle there, but then if someone asks her to host on a day when she doesn't have that set up she can either decline, offer to be a guest, or offer to secure the hotel if the client agrees to cover the cost.
There is a benefit in this to the client. If the cuddler factored travel and hosting costs into their hourly rate as you suggest, you would be paying the hosting/travel costs over multiple hours instead of just paying it once and having it be diluted if you choose to cuddle for multiple hours. It also means that if you are close to the cuddlers location, you are not paying a cost that may have factored in the cost of traveling to somewhere much more distant.
@LilyAnneNova
mean girl energy
😂❤️
@MeltMyWay To be honest, your approach to your situation is creative and designed to be in favor of both you and the client. I think it is a great idea, and when you're up front about everything, there is nothing deceitful or underhanded about it.
@btc13 thank you🫂
I agree @MeltMyWay your offer is very fair in my opinion.
Well you all carry on as you like. Funny how some mock the days of this thread and continue to post onit. Many of you seem more emotionally invested in this than me. I deleted my posts to try and temper down the conversation as per suggested.
You've all "won" and did a thorough job of dissuading me from engaging in any future community threads. A special big thanks to those who let me know I'm an entitled, mean, creepy boundary pusher who can't read and has a disconnect from the world, I will most certainly take all your caring sage like advice to heart and meditate upon it and look back fondly on my brief moment basking in the loving supportive aura of community threads. Peace out, I'm done on this thread, it's all yours!
Thank you @Morpheus
Interesting that the OP decided to block me instead of answering my question.
I never counterattacked or insulted them. I simply asked for clarification after being directly brought into the conversation, despite us having a short and perfectly pleasant exchange in messages several days prior to this.
Also, changing the original comment while continuing to engage — and making comments toward others who were not even involved in the thread — doesn’t really come across as trying to de-escalate the situation. If anything, it felt more like adding fuel to the fire.
I hope everyone here has a wonderful end to their weekend.