The stigma of paid cuddle services

@SpicyNSweet - That I can agree with you on lol.

I think if you are Pro, then your driving force is mainly or just for money. Rather then you actually enjoy to cuddle, holding someone. While making each other feel comfortable, relaxed, good and safe. I'd rather not have a Pro. Non-Pro to me means you genuinely like to cuddle without caring for monetary reasons.

@Steve1993 You do realize you can enjoy something you also get paid to do, right?

@xandriarain what is the stigma ?

I think the stigma might be a couple of things.. Society in general might look down on both sides. In the eyes of many people cuddling could be a euphemism for something else and as far as the clients many in society would label them in the same category as guys that go to strip clubs and think the strippers love them because of who they are.. Heck if you go on Reddit you'll see what a lot of former pros and clients say about this site and cuddling in general is kind of eye-opening.. I started doing this out of sheer curiosity about 3 years ago and with the exception of one awkward experience(she should have told me ahead of time her roommate was there) it's all been positive.. It's a chance for me to unwind and just relax with someone else. We know what each other's boundaries are, we know where this starts and ends and we simply enjoy the moment.. I have met some amazing people on the site but do I consider them friends? I don't.. Because at the end of the day I don't pay x amount of dollars to hang out with someone I consider a friend. I don't wish them any ill will, I have some very fond memories of the times I spent with them but they will never be my emergency contact at work. They will never be the first person that I call if I need some advice or something bad happens.. I have told all of them if they ever comes a time where you start seeing me more as a client or I start seeing you more than someone I cuddle with, we need to have a talk and both of us have to agree what happens next. But that's just me.. Even if cuddling in general ever gets to the point where we have an actual location in a building, you walk in and say "I'm here for my 9:00 session with _____" the stigma will always be there.. And if it does go mainstream I also think it's going to lose something as well.. It's going to be more clinical and less real..

And if it does go mainstream I also think it's going to lose something as well.. It's going to be more clinical and less real..

@jonnyquest I totally agree with this assessment. This happens with pretty much anything that goes mainstream.

I don't understand why a female would feel safer as a pro.

I don't understand why a female would feel safer as a pro.

I don’t think most women think that. As people have stated, many women started out as enthusiasts, but as the reality of what many men wanted from cuddling became apparent and the constant weeding out of quality from the dreck became time consuming and tedious, they became pros. So in a way, the hourly fee is a bullshit tax because of the bad ones that waste their time and create unnecessary anxiety. But I have never heard a pro say they became a pro because it is safer. I am sure there are a small chunk out there that did, but I have never heard it myself.

I asked that because I have seen that used as a reason do many women turn pro. Even someone earlier in this conversation wrote that. Everyone had the freedom to chat,meet in a safe place first, have other people nearby etc. The website doesn't give any more protection since we all use it.
What am I missing?

@Bohemianguy - My guess is that the karma system allows for there to be a psuedo-vetting process. So women can choose from men with positive experiences while avoiding new accounts or those with negative reviews. In that sense, it's safer. Otherwise, CC really offers no value and is just a social media platform.

I can't speak to a society wide stigma as every person in my community, including my boyfriend thinks it's awesome that I do this. I think the wider society doesn't much know or think about cuddling. I've never gotten a side eye from anyone EXCEPT....

I will speak to a stigma from my dad (if that's possible lol) as he used to be really freaked out that I do this for work, and now he listens to me give talks on it for my mom's ladies group and seems to regard it generally as "a Good Thing"

I've also watched clients go from not wanting to tell people they hire a cuddler to being more open about it in their lives. so that's been cool.

My friends don't seem to worry about me like they did at the beginning (insisting I get everyone's ID and share my location when I'm in session etc.)

Cuddling with internet strangers after only a brief phone call has made me be able to quickly gain an understanding of which people are manipulative and not being upfront about what they want. I swear it's in the tone of voice.

I’m at a point in my life where I don’t care what people think of what I do. I think a lot of people have never heard of such a thing and think it’s a novelty if for something shady. That said, don’t let others think dictate what you wanna do as long as it’s ethical and legal

There is a stigma of paid services… but it’s necessary for those who aren’t able to find a willing enthusiast.

@SpicyNSweet yes.

@steve1993

So I've had some deeper conversations with a few users privately, and I'd also like to point out that there's a stigma within the enthusiast community itself.

There's actually a similar parallel between a new male enthusiast approaching a longtime female enthusiast and a new pro approaching a longtime client. There's that hesitation or distrust when it comes to cuddling with someone new because you never really know whether it'll be a good experience.

But at the same time, just because someone has been cuddling for years and has a lot of positive karma doesn't necessarily mean they're trustworthy either. From what I've gathered through conversations with longtime members, karma retaliation is a real concern, so people may be more inclined to leave positive reviews rather than honest ones out of fear of receiving negative karma in return. So even an established cuddler's reputation might not tell the full story.

From what I've heard, some male enthusiasts have tried reaching out to established female enthusiasts, only to be left on read or have the conversation suddenly stop. My guess is that it's becoming somewhat of a numbers game, similar to the dating pool.

Women are often overwhelmed by the number of messages they receive, so unless someone is actively involved in the forums or makes an effort to engage beyond small talk, they may be less likely to find a cuddle partner. And I think that applies to pros, enthusiasts, and clients alike.

Or maybe some people already have their preferred cuddle partners and aren't necessarily looking for anyone new. Whatever the reason, I think there are several factors at play beyond someone's experience or reputation.

I also think it matters where CC chooses to advertise or partner with other websites. If they're primarily advertising through sugar dating websites, then it makes sense why a large portion of the people joining might be looking for something beyond platonic cuddling. But if they were to reach out to therapeutic communities, mental health organizations, or other platonic companionship spaces, I think they'd attract more people who are genuinely interested in the community for what it offers.

I've personally been sharing this community with some of my peers in the mental health field because I see how beneficial it could be for people who want to participate as enthusiasts, clients, or even professionals.

Ultimately, I think it would help if CC made a clearer distinction between enthusiasts and clients, so people could better identify others who are looking for the same type of connection. It might also give us a more accurate picture of the balance within the community.

And as others have mentioned, sometimes it really does come down to searching a little deeper to find the people you're hoping to connect with.

@Steve1993 Also, you mentioned earlier that you don't mind people needing to pay their bills, but I think it's worth considering that massage therapy was once viewed as taboo to pay for, and now it's an entire profession. I don't see why professional cuddling couldn't evolve in a similar way, even if that wasn't how the community originally started.

At the end of the day, how someone chooses to make their money is really their own business. And there are also clients and pros who choose to exchange services rather than money, if that's something they mutually agree on.

But if paying for cuddling isn't your thing, which is completely fine, and you're having trouble finding female enthusiasts who are interested, dating apps are always another avenue to explore. You might have better luck finding someone who's looking for the same kind of connection rather than expecting the community to operate the way it originally did.

I think there's room for both enthusiasts and professionals here, and one doesn't have to take away from the other.

@AuthenticLucy you made some excellent points. And I agree with everything you said. I haven't been on here longer than a week and haven't met up with a woman yet. I'm being open minded. But I respect those that want to be compensated with money. No hate here. I definitely agree with if CC made it clearer distinction between enthusiasts and clients. I like that idea. Also I want to explore the massage therapybyou mentioned. Both messages you sent was well said by the way. I appreciate the feedback.

I notice that mostly the discussions are in the USA, I'm in the UK, there is definitely a stigma, nobody that I have cuddled with would even dare to mention it to anyone. 🤫 @Steve1993 I really do enjoy cuddling , even though I charge for my time, it doesn't need to be a contradiction at all. I enjoy cuddling, while trying to pay my excessive dental bills. I give 120 percent to ensure that the person has a really enjoyable cuddle session. 😌