If I met with someone and we cuddled and I started bawling like a child... would that be weird for them? Knowing how I react to human touch/contact, if I were to connect to someone emotionally and mentally, I would most likely end up crying...
Perhaps it would be very awkward for the other person?
I know this culture is not an emotion-centred one, so I worry about freaking people out.

  1. If my cuddle buddy cried, I would be ok with it (comfortable)42 votes
    1. If my cuddle buddy cried, I would be uncomfortable and worried
    2. If my cuddle buddy cried, I would have to ask them about it as that's a sign of a problem
    3. If my cuddle buddy cried, I might cry with them as that's a great way to bond


  • I would ask of things were okay and say I'd listen if they were looking to talk but other than that I'd probably just let them have their cry time. It wouldn't bother me.

  • I would definitely be ok with it, I would even cry with them!

  • @kiska I have a feeling that crying is a common reaction to cuddling. I've gotten to know a few cuddlers, and some have mentioned that they might cry when cuddling. They asked if would be ok with me, and it is.

    I'd suggest talking about the possibility before cuddling. I agree with what @JasonCuddles wrote too. :)

  • I am a good listener. Who knows, maybe I might need someone to listen to me someday. It's called being human.

  • I would be honored if someone felt comfortable enough to shed some tears in my embrace. People feel able to share deep hurts and secrets with me, and I think crying is a healthy part of releasing and healing those feelings.

    I have had partners who told me they never cried in front of anyone before really let go with me, and felt glad that they were able to finally do so. ❤️❤️❤️

  • The poll doesn't allow you to click on the first choice: comfortable with it. I've been to five cuddle parties, and at each one, the facilitators always mentioned that cuddling can bring up strong emotions for some people. There was one person at almost every party who broke down in tears. I don't have that reaction to cuddling, but if someone I was with did, I would hold that person close and listen if he or she wanted to talk about it.

  • [Deleted User]mini_prarie_dog (deleted user)

    I'd feel a bit awkward but mostly just feel bad if I fail to make them feel better about whatever is upsetting them.
    No offense intended but to me it seems a bit silly feeling comfortable enough around someone to cuddle but still needing to keep the emotional walls fully up.

  • @mini_prarie_dog It is a common misconception that we must make somebody feel better for being upset. Sometimes sitting in silence and allowing them to express themselves and be heard is the best gift you can give somebody.

  • Im not sure TBH - theres a difference between joyful crying, painful crying and hysterical crying (and probs many more).
    Im sure it would come down to the situation at hand.

  • [Deleted User]SJSpooner (deleted user)

    @pmvines - Your post reminds me a of a comforting quote that I came across a few months ago: "When you can't look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark." - Author unknown

    As most of us know, there are some situations in life that can't be "fixed" or made better. They just are, and it can be meaningful to have a moment with a friend/cuddler, etc who really truly gets it. There is great intimacy and humanity to be found in those kinds of moments.

    One of the things that I wrote in my profile when I first joined is that I am not afraid of tears - my own or anyone else's. Not all tears are tears of sadness or despair. Many of my best cries have been cathartic and cleansing, and ultimately very healing. It took me decades to allow myself to "fall apart" at times - so that I could regroup and go back out and be in the world again.

    We all deal with so much day to day, and there can be an overwhelming messages that we receive (from popular culture/society) to be happy, always positive , not show weakness, etc. I, for one, sometimes know the tears will flow when I finally feel safe in someone's arms. I would be honored to hold someone while they had a big old cathartic cry and hope there might be others who feel the same way.

  • It seems that most people think crying has to mean someone is sad or upset. That's not necessarily the case. It can simply be a release of intense emotion that has no real negative or positive form. It's something that happens when someone feels comforted to the point that they can let their guard down and emotional pressures get a chance to normalize. It's like opening a can of soda: some people just sigh as the pressure lets off, and others overflow.

  • Some responses from a previous discussion on crying:

    @Benjamin45: It would never feel awkward with me, I'd find it quite flattering that someone would trust me with their emotions and would want to help by holding them tighter or keeping hold.

    @selcouth: When the other person crying I take on what I would call a "sacred responsibility" to provide a safe space for that person's vulnerable moment for as long as is needed. It is a very healing experience being able to trust someone so completely as to be completely vulnerable and know you are safe.

    @Emily414: I have had people cry with me, and this never makes me think less of them. If anything, it adds to the relationship. I feel honored that they trust me enough to let go like that, and it affirms that we've established a safe space. Crying can be a way to release, and that release is therapeutic, especially in the arms of someone you trust.

  • I would like to add a question...asking those who have cried in the presence of others how they felt afterward. I cried with a healing professional once (reiki) and was so embarrassed. He held me, resisting letting go in my moment of fear as I tried to pull away...and told me that he was sent to receive my grief.

    I have never cried so hard. What a relief.

  • I wold feel honored if someone cries in front of me. That means the person feels comfortable enough to trust me. I have no issues whatsoever.

  • Ditto what @BlueIris said ... I would respond according to your first option.

  • edited April 2018

    Personally, I would find it weird. Not that I would recoil in horror or think less of the person. I would be curious why. I cry when I am sad. I never cry when I am happy. I realize everyone is different and I often enjoy the differences. If the crying were accompanied by some verbal expression, it would certainly help me understand it. I did not answer the poll because none of the responses were suitable.

  • edited June 22

    I've cried during a few sessions. Elissa was very nice about it and simply asked what type of emotions I was feeling. Sometimes it was pure joy, other times it was because of all the loneliness when I am not with her. Sometimes I don't quite know why. But we trusted each other enough to be open about it as much as possible

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