These high price tags for cuddling is so ridiculous
It can only be said in so many ways. Clients who see quality pros know it's worth it. Most pros spend a lot more time on each session than just the paid time, so effective rate is much less than it seems. That's the basic gist of an answer...
Let me say what @navyman35 said again in case you missed it, RIDICULOUS
@navyman35 , @Morpheus
I agree 100%. Those are hooker prices.
Cost will ultimately be the downfall of professional cuddling. I said this before somewhere on the board, many of the clients on cuddle comfort have told me that if prices continue to go up, they will just see prostitutes instead. I am not condoning or recommending that, I am just stating what the majority is saying. If pros care about the success of your profession, it’s in your best interest to keep the price reasonable.
@Morpheus The downfall? Or the cause of restructuring from those who care and the loss of people only in it for fast high money? I think the latter :-) Most people I talk to think somewhere in the $60-100 range is reasonable. Most of the pros I know who are good fall in that range. Personally, I'm done raising my rates. I am not for making as much money as I can. I want to make what I need in the amount of time I can cuddle (my emotional limit), with a small savings buffer. If I ever have higher rates, it will be rooted in the cause of helping more people. I hate it when companies lose sight of their original intention, so that is my pledge.
I'm new so grain of salt and all that, but so far I find I don't have an issue with higher prices, but do prefer that prices go down as you start to buy more hours.
If you are charging $125 for 1 hour.. and then drop the price a cumulative 5% per hour purchased... comes to around $95 an hour for 5 hours
So you could make $250 from a client who purchased 2 hours because of the prohibitively expensive rate, or you could make $475 from a client who purchases 5 hours.
But im biased since I like long stays and overnights soooo. Also I do see a lot of pros offering discounts for multi hour, but they often hard cap (like $100 1 hour, $145 2 hour, $80/h additional).
Anyway thats my take.
@grumpcat I think pros should offer discounts to encourage whatever they want more of. I'm not as good with super long sessions, but I love regulars. I don't offer discounts for longer sessions (except overnights effectively hour, and technically I offer a free hour after ten hours purchased, but that's more intended to be achieved over time), but do offer membership packages intended to save them some money and receive some perks as well :-)
@ubergigglefritz I saw your membership model earlier, it seemed like a wonderful idea.
I of course am speaking greedily for myself as someone always in a new city. Since I cant see the same people over and over, I try to get as much cuddling as I can in when I see people haha.
Then my intro package, followed by a short break, then cuddling session at my place? Most bang for your buck. The younger the business, the more I would expect people to offer enticements. I only started in February. Still nowhere near where I need to be, so I'm still offering quite a few options... :-)
Dam thats crazy!! If I was nearby I'd do it for free
The more people out there cuddling for free, the better our world is, but until that number reaches the number of people looking for cuddles, there will be professionals willing to offer their services If I had to work another job, then I would never have enough time and energy to help cuddle all the people I have so far. I'm happy to have the ability to provide all the time to people in need which I have so far But if I am put out of a job, that means the people in our society have really stepped up and everyone is connecting like they haven't in a very long time...
@pmvines As you know, I'm pretty new... but living in Michigan (surrounded by lakes), I've already traveled 99 miles (in one direction) to see a client. There aren't a lot of pros here.
@AndiCuddles That would def constitute some travel fee accrual lol! Good grief you almost got me beat and I am a social worker, we practically live in our damn vehicles!!! When my son moves out (one of these days....) I may just get a tiny house on wheels so I don't even have to drive back home at the end of the day lol
@pmvines That is one of my dreams Though I will say that a travel trailer is much better than a tiny home if you are planning on doing lots of driving. Much more fuel efficient, and some are pretty nice and homey
@ubergigglefritz Now if you were to use that as a cuddle pad I wonder if you can somehow write it off as a business expense.
One of my dreams, too. In fact, I’d like to turn an Airstream into a tiny cuddle sanctuary!
I find it extraordinarilly alarming that you would suggest that prostitution and platonic cuddling are in some way interchangeable or are in any way related. It clearly says in the client agreement that this service is therapeutic and in no way sexual. In light of that the suggestion that "these are hooker prices" on the forum is not only derogatory to people who sell their bodies for sex but degrading to the independant and caring professional cuddlers who provide therapeutic cuddling services and set their prices based on what their time and energy is worth. Suggesting that someone could buy a sex worker for less than a quality platonic professional cuddle is contextually irrelevant. You could also buy yourself an x box for the price of visiting a psychiatrist but patients don't complain that they're being charged x box prices. I've met cuddlers who were referred to CC by their psychiatrists for touch therapy. I've never heard a doctor say that their patient should see a prostitute to help them recover from anxiety or touch deprivation. For one, it's illegal. If you're buying a sex worker in a developed nation for around $100 you're more likely than not paying for someone who has either been human trafficked or has a drug addiction. Independent escorts in countries where prostitution is legal charge more in range of $400+ an hour. Maybe you could complain that she's selling sex at a cost that could get you four professional cuddles but then you wouldn't be paying her for that would you? How does @Mark feel about the word 'hooker' being bandied about on his forum in relation to pro cuddlers, or at all for that matter... It's beginning to seem that some of the members of this site believe that a woman's time and energy is not worth very much at all.
@cuddlesfordays1 It is also rather misogynistic to imply that money exchanging hands means you are a prostitute and that the value of money for a service rendered is based on a scale of sexual services. That is the exact stigma that this site is trying to change. I wonder if anybody ever thinks about exactly how demeaning that is. It is entitled and disrespectful to women. Complain about a rate if you must, but dont reduce it to sex, thats not what vast majority on here are even looking for. I feel screwed every time I go to the mechanic but I am not calling them prostitutes for it.
@pmvines @cuddlesfordays1 ITA. Every time someone mentions that people should just see sex workers instead... I feel like they’re missing the point. I feel like they are only comparing the two services because they are bodywork that is most often performed by women.
I really hate it and it makes me feel like I don’t belong here despite the fact that I pay my fees and help keep this website running.
We are quite a bit more closely aligned than an Xbox is to a psychologist. Cuddling and sex are two different types of touch needs. Each of a cuddler and a prostitute are allowing someone else to use their body to fulfill a need. I do agree they are not interchangeable, and what we offer is quite a bit more, emotionally, though completely absent of any sexual act. They are very different services, but run more parallel than some of you want to admit. Personally, I think it's important to have a healthy respect and understanding for consenting members of the other side of our industry, but I think I'm alone on that on this site. Every other professional cuddling community I am a part of feels the same. It's strange. Acceptance and understanding makes people feel comfortable to be honest. Honesty is what keeps us safe and people looking for something else redirected to someone who provides those services. Jmo
^^Um, no, they are not parallel at all. I personally have known/know sex workers, and what they do is not even close to being similar to what we (professional cuddlers) do. At least, not what most of the pros here do. I really hope you aren't offering services that parallel sex workers on this site as it's forbidden, but stating that in this forum is an inaccurate description of the other professional Platonic cuddlers on here. So, keep that in mind. A better revision would be "the service I offer is similar to sex work" regarding yourself if that's what you want to compare to.
Absolutely no one on here or anywhere else in my life is "using my body" for anything at all. I use my body, and sometimes I use it to give hugs or cuddles, other times I use it to lift and throw heavy things, and other times I use it to put on pretty dresses and go out dancing. No one uses my body but me, just so we're clear, and there is no amount of money on this earth one can pay me to be allowed to use my body in anyway full stop. Though many have tried.
I hope that's clear.
I don't think those two professions will ever be separated in the public eye. In niche circles, of course we see it differently, but to the public it will always look similar. The very nature of this website, the securities in place, people wanting to keep their photos hidden or private, the cuddle agreement we have to sign, the warnings that are present when sending messages, the complaints of people constantly trying to cross boundaries, and the fact that every other profile states that this is not sexual only supports this fact.
Going back on topic before this thread is probably closed. My observations are that these sessions really are expensive for your average middle-class cuddler, but not because of any reason listed here so far. I would argue that a professional would never pay these prices for cuddling if the genders were reversed. In business terms, you wouldn't buy the product that you are selling. Honestly, I don't think a lot of the professionals could afford to pay the rates that are listed. Using the above as an example, I would ask any professional this:
Would you pay a man $450 to go see a movie (3 hours long) with you? And would you also pay for his movie ticket? And pay for his gas and any travel expenses? And at the end of it all, would be okay with a hug and a thank you and then possibly never seeing or hearing from this person again? Could you afford to do this? Do you think about these things when you set your prices? I have done this on multiple occasions.
Or another example is when a professional states that they will include an extra hour for free if the client gets a hotel room. If you do the math, that's actually not a good deal for the client. It would have been cheaper just to pay for the extra hour without the hotel. Not to mention that once the professional leaves the hotel (provided it's not an overnight), a client is stuck in a hotel room with nothing to do. And I would ask the question again. Would you ever pay a man $500+ to cuddle with you overnight? And also pay for the hotel room? And also pay for any food? And also pay for his gas? And also pay any additional travel fees? Could you afford to do this, as well? I have done this, too.
Nothing about the above is extreme in any way judging by the current market. I don't know what metric professionals are using to determine how much their time is worth. I don't know what the answer or solution to this is. To be brutally honest, I would love to go to a lower priced professional, but there are none. I've looked. And the handful who do offer very low rates haven't bothered responding, so what can you do, you know? There's this unspoken stigma that if a pro offers a rate at $40 or so, then they must be cheap or don't value themselves.
I've spent over $6,000 over the past year or so using professional cuddlers' services and it's been great overall. However, when recently my friend (who likes to cuddle) invited me to come see her out-of-state, and I noticed that a round trip plane ticket and spending time with this person for a 3-day period would cost me less than a mere three hours of professional cuddling would? That is when I decided it was time for me to take a break.
I'm sorry. You use your body to allow people to pay you money to touch you in a non-sexual way. Versus a prostitute which uses their body to allow people to pay them money to touch them in a sexual way. Granted, I know there is WAY more to what we offer than just platonic touch, but I wish we didn't vilify the other side so much. If we worked on the same team, that would keep us safer.
Fyi, I am asexual. Nothing I offer is sexual, I say no to scheduling with anyone who seems to want more, have reported people for wanting more, and dropped clients for boundary pushing. But I don't judge any of them for wanting more, or get angry with them. I simply tell them that's not what I offer.
It's because of conversations with you @lilredmage that I've decided to commit to staying at my current average prices. It really is not affordable for most people. I think $60-80/hr is plenty in today's climate. I hope I can make it work out...
Would I pay a professional male cuddler to cuddle me overnight? You bet! I get to be spoiled overnight (assuming I don't need to sleep), kick him out guilt free in the morning, and see him on my own terms without the need for lots of texts in between to keep him happy? Well worth $450! I pay far more than that hourly for my current bodywork regimen. Most travel fees are pretty reasonable that I've seen, and I think that $80 for an hour of cuddling plus minimal travel fee to come to my house is incredibly cheap. It's far cheaper than a massage, and far cheaper than an in-call massage by far, and I think it's better feeling and has more health benefits. My health is important to me, and I pay multiple thousands annuall out of pocket for wellness I know is beneficial for me that isn't covered by typical insurance, so perhaps I'm in the minority. I'm not sure what the seeing a movie illustration has to do with cuddling, but you're right that I wouldn't pay someone to watch a movie with me. I can have just as much fun without someone there I paid to sit next to me; maybe I'm missing what the point of this illustration was? I like cuddling, though.
I believe the main reason the general public needs warnings about the platonic nature of cuddling is for a few reasons: 1) massage parlors already have a bad rap and are known to give extras - even the more well-known "legitimate" ones around here. The word cuddling is often used as a euphemism for sex, so drawing a comparison with the 'massage industry' it just makes sense 2) Cuddling isn't mainstream and well known yet, though it's gaining traction in hospital settings. Because it's not mainstream, many will be unfamiliar and draw the most common conclusion available to them, which is sex work, and 3) some "cuddling agencies" are thinly veiled fronts for actual prostitution.
None of the above correlations actually make cuddling like sex work. It's not at all, and both industries are working on very different parts of the brain and completely conflicting stimulus/goals. We are much closer to talk therapists, which is a common thing I hear of my cuddling. Never mind that cuddling is actually beneficial with effects that can be felt for days after the cuddle is done. Sex work is designed to cater to a base level instinct and is designed to not be fulfilling so you want more (as opposed to emotionally fulfilling/satisfying sex with a partner or similar). Though perhaps this feels more therapeutic to some than I've been led to believe; I've not used or considered using a sex worker so I don't know personally. When the first person made the comment to just go see a "hooker" above, my thought was that the two options have very different goals, and anyone looking for a sex worker wouldn't be happy with a cuddler and vice versa. They are very different modalities that have very different goals, and this makes them non-interchangeable.
I agree 100% with your post, pink :-)
Thanks!
To be clear, I am a professional cuddler who cuddles people; I also cuddle friends in my own time. I don't "allow people to touch me". If that's all I was doing I would recommend my clients save their money and purchase a cuddle pillow instead because that sounds like a pretty terrible time. I appreciate being the one to explain and describe what I offer in my cuddling and that you please stop trying to explain it as you haven't experienced it yourself. Feel free to describe what you offer, and you're quite likely to be very accurate.
I also see that you poorly described what sex workers do. I'm not sure this needs to keep being brought up in a discussion on cuddling, but your descriptions are inaccurate. I appreciate this may be because you're ace, but many aces do understand what sex workers do and are able to hold discussions on the topic, so I'm not sure that's it.
Professional cuddlers and sex workers offer very different services for vastly different goals; comparing the two is not helpful in any practical way.
You don't at all get my point, so we can just stop talking. But to be clear, I was not saying that allowing people to touch us is all that we do, and it is most certainly not all that I offer. I/we are MUCH more than a pillow. Trying to discuss with people on here is utterly pointless. Goodnight :-)
That's fair.
I'd appreciate you stop trying to describe what I do, as you seem to not know and haven't met me or experienced my cuddling. Safest to only describe yourself and let others describe what they offer themselves. If you mean something different than what you've said here, that's fine; I'm responding only to what you said and pointing out that describing my cuddling as you are is completely inaccurate, and is inaccurate of what most professional cuddlers offer, to avoid any confusion for people reading. I'm not clear why you are attempting to describe others' cuddling to be sure, but you have been inaccurate in all of your descriptions.
Cheers, Cuddlers!