It was not a complete description of cuddling. Just one sentence. Chill. If you are saying that your clients don't touch you (platonically) when you cuddle with them, then you are right, I do not understand what you do. When I cuddle with my clients, there is mutual platonic touch going on. They are allowed to cuddle me back, within the confines of the client agreement and my own personal boundaries. We also talk, share stories, dreams, fears, thoughts, experience true emotional connection, etc. But the physical part, yes, my clients touch me platonically and I touch them platonically. I don't know how you have good cuddle sessions without allowing them to touch you in return. That is ALL I was saying - that a portion of what they are paying for is the physical act of cuddling, which is paying for touch. There is MUCH more than that to what we offer, but you are right, I don't understand a world where cuddling does not include touch.
My sarcastic comment about hooker prices has seemed to set off a lot of comments.
Just to clarify, I never meant to imply that the ladies who provide professional cuddling services have any connection to hookers. I just wanted to state an opinion as I see it.
I live in the NYC area. I've seen people advertising for massage / body rub services on the now defunct Backpage and Craigslist sections for over 20 years. And I've meet with and spoken with many clients who have used those sites to identify potential providers. Based on these experiences and observations, generally, when someone offers a massage or body rub service in the $200+ range it usually included some type of sexual activity. Again that's just based on personal experiences and the feedback on many people I have known and associated with.
So when I see professional cuddlers asking for $200 or more to cuddle for an hour, it just raises huge red flags to me.
But I do agree, a professional cuddler is free to charge whatever she feels the market will bear. It's up to the clients to determine whether they think it's worth it or not.
I have had some great cuddles in the $60-$100 an hour range, and I thank those ladies very, very much! Let's keep this cuddle community alive and well,
I think both sides of this conversation are fascinating and that professional cuddling is a lot of different things to a lot of different people. That said I have one grievance with a lot of users comments so far.
"It's beginning to seem that some of the members of this site believe that a woman's time and energy is not worth very much at all."
"It is also rather misogynistic to imply that money exchanging hands means you are a prostitute and that the value of money for a service rendered is based on a scale of sexual services."
"But I do agree, a professional cuddler is free to charge whatever she feels the market will bear. It's up to the clients to determine whether they think it's worth it or not."
None of this is conversation has anything to do with the gender of the pro cuddlers or the views on that gender. This is a discussion about market value of the cuddling service, whether male or female or non of the above. While I understand that the majority of the pro cuddlers are probably female, I think it's probably important to make the distinction that this is not an attack on the people, but strictly a discussion on the services rendered.
Its an extremely emotional and explosive topic because of the intimacy involved, but I think everyone should take a step back and remember this is about pricing.
Just my two cents....
@grumpcat The biggest reason it is an emotional topic is because unlike selling an item you are selling a service, which unfortunately not everyone is treated as the person they are, they are treated as a commodity or a product. It is obviously not my reality as I am not a cuddler, nor do I pay for their services, so I am speaking from objective observation and not from experience. And the reason I use the term misogynistic is because many men do feel that once they spend money, particularly an unsaid dollar amount, on a woman it entitles them to something. It happens in the dating world, and it happens in the service industry all the time. Even if you yourself are not of this mindset, and great if you aren't, doesn't change that there are those who are. And because we are men, and also not paid to cuddle, we don't see that side of that reality. But it does exist.
"we are men"
@pmvines speak for yourself lol. Additionally if the pro cuddler agrees to an session with pre defined criteria, then yes the client is 'entitled to something', mainly the service they paid for and both parties agreed on, or they should be refunded.
This is a transaction, not a gift or bribe for a cuddlers time. You are making a sale.
@grumpcat of course it's a transaction and if you pay to cuddle then that's the expectation. I'm referring to the assumption that if you are paying a higher rate It somehow means there is more to it. I have been here a while and talk to quite a few people , and some , not all, have issues with men not being respectful and assume they are entitled to more because of the amount spent
@pmvines well as a consumer I would certainly hope that the higher price comes with some sort of benefit... that we could discuss ahead of time. I certainly would be willing to pay an extra $25-50/hour if X time of massages were stipulated for example.
This all boils down to communication. Assumptions should never be made and consent and understanding should always be clarified.
@grumpcat I am pretty sure you are aware that I am not referring to something like a simple massage...
@pmvines uh no I had not made that connection but your argument makes a bit more sense in context now. However there are clear rules in place and all initiated non platonic touch is assault.
Absolutely! Unfortunately not everyone adheres to the rules, and I'm sure if you take a poll a lot of women don't report for fear of retaliation . And even though there are guidelines on this site , it doesn't mean there arent going to be people pushing for more, particularly those who feel entitled to since money is involved .
I believe I have now officially gone beyond my allotted single thread post count for this particular thread ?
@ubergigglefritz A psychologist provides mental therapy and a professional cuddler provides touch therapy (and is often recommended by psychologists to certain patients as a continuation of therapy) but you would liken yourself and your profession more to an inaniminate object without sentience that was created solely for the purpose of providing pleasure to humans? I struggle to balance the mental maths to come to that conclusion.
I would have to agree with @PinkLipstick22 in that I don't nor have I ever allowed anyone to use my body as they saw fit to their heart's content. There are strict rules in the client terms of agreement that nullify any meaningful comparison between cuddling and prostitution.
Perhaps we all might benefit with re-familiarising ourselves with the cuddle client agreement before making sweeping generalisations and asinine connections about two extremely different industries. Apples and oranges. A session with a reiki healer, which sometimes involves their body lying atop yours, runs higher than a professional cuddler. A massage from a professionally trained massage therapist (which involves nudity on your part) is also more expensive. I had a sports massage this morning from a professional massage therapist and after the $150 (not including the 20% tip expected in America) charge, I didn't turn to her and suggest I'd take my services to a victim of human trafficking being oversawn by her pimp. Nor did I question the cost value of my experience because she didn't hug me or practise reiki on me.
The vast majority of professional cuddlers are female and the vast majority of their clientele are male. This discussion is about the current reality of professional cuddling and not a utopic and imaginary world of cuddling where it's 50/50. @grumpcat I'm sure to examine the data it must be very fascinating why it is this way. There are certain societal implications and I think it also may be due to cuddling getting a lot of exposure via word of mouth. Years ago an acquaintance at a dinner party had her therapist prescribe her weekly massages for touch therapy due to touch deprivation. I imagine cuddling may have been suggested had either of them been aware of its existence.
And for what it's worth, I love being a professional cuddler. I've met people I would never have otherwise met, expanded my worldview, created lifelong friendships, have had endless laughs and ocassional cries, helped some cuddlers through some extremely difficult times, and in some instances have actually made a positive, lasting effect in their lives. I find professional cuddling to be an extremely rewarding profession and co paring it to prostitution is just completely misunderstanding it in its entirety. If I wasn't so passionate about my work I wouldn't find threads like these so frustrating.
I would just like to add I don’t vilify sex workers. But do I get upset when they come onto this site and posing as a cuddler? Absolutely. Not because what they do bugs me but because they make what I do more difficult and dangerous and that I do not appreciate. If someone wants to offer that fine but I wish they wouldn’t do it here.
As far as me I’m happy where I’m currently charging $60 but also rarely accept new clients. I have another job so I’m strictly only meeting with people that need the therapy. No additional fees just the hourly. But that’s only me cause this isn’t my sole income so I get to be strict and flexible at the same time.
@cuddlesfordays1 , you so perfectly said exactly what I think and have experienced. Thank you for your accurate and well worded contribution here.
In regards to @cuddlesfordays1 comment about $400 an hour prostitutes, I do not see prostitutes but have friends who are well acquainted with the Los Angeles underground and they have told me you can get a top model looking prostitute for $200 an hour. The prices have actually dropped from what I understand because they are hurting for work since their avenues of advertising have been taken away. So once again, many of the clients of pro cuddlers see the increasing prices of pro cuddling and are electing to see a prostitute instead. Again just to clarify, I don’t see prostitutes, I don’t condone things such as sex slave trade and I personally am not comparing pro cuddling to prostitution. I am simply stating the facts of what many clients are saying due to the increasing prices.
I would also like to thank those of you who keep reasonable prices.
Any "potential client" who would opt to see a sex worker instead of a platonic cuddler "due to the price" is not a client genuine platonic cuddlers want to see anyway. They are looking for something we don't provide and are obviously confused. Having them bail before they arrive and try to push boundaries is a HUGE WIN so now I will consider raising my prices to keep such confused newbies away. Thank you for that information!
There are some pros here, in this thread even, who I've recently learned do offer cuddles akin to prostitution so I can see how they've been confused. It's not what this site is about, however, and these "pros" and clients probably won't be here for long as it's against the rules.
Happy Saturday Cuddles!
Pink lip stick you should report any discovery of pros you suspect are breaking the rules . Certainly that would help the community .
@Cuddlerforu24 I have done so; reports take a bit of time to process. It helps if others can add their experience, too, as it's more difficult to get assistance with rule breaking pros on the site. Perhaps it will be enough, though.
I'm off for some cuddles! Enjoy your day
@PinkLipstick22 I think that might be a leap given the comments. I understand your frustration and point of view, but I very much doubt that the person in question is doing anything questionable, but simply sees the parallels in physicality.