I really need some help on this subject !! Give me your thoughts.
I can
Nope. Show me a guy that says he can and I'll show you a liar.
What do you need help on this subject for? It's already not looking like it's going to be a productive discussion. Expand a little more.
"Can a man cuddle with a woman with out being turned on. ??" Only the ones with built-in rev-limiters. That comes standard in most late-model-years. Or, in really bad cases, they have to install an ignition-interlock system. It's kind of like bio-feedback mixed with a cattle prod.
"Nope. Show me a guy that says he can and I'll show you a liar."
Show me a human and I'll show you a liar.
In all seriousness, this topic has been beat to death. On a side note, love your Pikachu hat.
@Knickerbocker The general consensus is if you are a grown man with a conscience and you successfully crossed puberty, you know how to deal with unexpected arousal. The question is, will you make the choice to or not?
@Catloaf Oh man I thought that was weinstein at first glance...gag lol That's a good point you bring up there, a real man does NOT do anything sexual in a platonic consensual cuddle, regardless they get turned on or not, just my opinion, and I'm sure I'm not the only one to agree ? @Knickerbocker Not ALL guys get aroused when they cuddle in a non sexual way. @spicysteve Yes. ? @mickcuddle THANK YOU!
Yes..if you mutually pre-establish boundaries and limits.
Lolz! Arousal is a natural biological reaction. You all can preach all the b.s. you want about how you are "above" it all and you are "evolved" (whatever the hell that means), but we all know how things work in the real world..........
so what. stop trolling.
Not trolling---just discussing the topic. Sorry if dissenting viewpoints aren't acceptable on this forum.
I'd love to see if knickerboker would be aroused by cuddling Susan Boyle. Unless somebody just came to this site to cuddle attractive women? Then wonders why he's aroused
Aside from the blatant trolling, from a woman's perspective I don't get aroused simply by cuddling a man unless we're already in a relationship and even then it's probably only half the time. I probably wouldn't mind if someone got aroused as long as they didn't try to make it my problem or expect me to do anything about it. Then again, I'd have thought it was a common courtesy to sort yourself out before meeting someone if you're still at that 12 year old phase of not being able to keep the flag down.
@Knickerbocker Nobody is denying that arousal is a natural occurrence. But you know what, I'm also not going to blanket an entire demographic, and say "This is how it is in the real world."
There have been occasions where I could feel that a client was getting aroused, and you know what happened? It was over in a split second. There was a twitch against my side and then it was immediately gone. You know what this person did? They controlled it by thinking of something else (maybe it was Susan Boyle, Rosie O'Donnell or maybe they sung the chorus from "Africa" by Toto in their head). They've been going to Cuddle Party for 10 years now, and have obviously learned the skills necessary to control themselves. Amazing what you can do when you realise the mind and body are connected and if you have enough strength in your mind, you can control these urges.
Just because it's not how you would react, doesn't mean that others are like that. My husband and I cuddle an hour or so every day or other day and even at the start of our relationship, cuddles were always, always platonic. I cuddled with him only hours after meeting and no arousal whatsoever.
Guys who have been around women enough, and hold basic respect, and understand consent know how to be mature instead of chalking it up to "oh well that's how God made us lol".
Um. Of course a man can cuddle with a woman without being turned on, @Knickerbocker. Not all men can, obviously, but there are definitely those who can, even if they're hyper-sexual. Even you could, probably, in some situations. Consider these situations, for example:
They're both cis. One woman in a female body, one man in a male body. If the man's only attracted to male bodies, he would be able to cuddle with the woman without being turned on.
She's trans, he's cis. One woman in a male body, one man in a male body. If the man's only attracted to female bodies, he would be able to cuddle her without being turned on.
He's trans, she's cis. One man in a female body, one woman in a female body. If the man's only attracted to male bodies, he'd be able to cuddle her without being turned on.
So yes, if we're being literal about it, a man can definitely cuddle with a woman without being turned on. She just has to be, you know... not his type. And it's not just the male/female thing: she could be his grandmother, for instance. Or his mom. His sister. His daughter. There are definitely men who can snuggle up with their mom without that "natural biological reaction."
From a practical point of view, @spicysteve, it can be embarrassing when your body does stuff you don't want it to, but that's bodies for you. Just change position and wait for it to go away.
Why is it considered trolling if one has a differing perspective then the prevailing perspectives? I've been keeping it clean and haven't been insulting to any users. Seems like people are just a little too thin skinned about different viewpoints/perspectives that are different then their own.
Oh, as an accidental troll, I can totally answer this.
It has to do with certainty and stubbornness. When you're absolutely sure that no man can ever cuddle any woman without getting turned on, you say it like it's a fact. So far, no problem—I've done this and people didn't get upset. The problem comes when people start pointing out that the fact you presented isn't actually a fact... and you refuse to even consider the possibility that they might be right.
Because of course you're right! All men have physically male bodies and are sexually attracted to all female bodies, otherwise they're not real men! How could you ever possibly be wrong?
I always feel so stupid when I realize I've gone troll again. I don't do it on purpose.
Left turn: you start to see why, even with all platonic intentions, the vast majority of men here won’t cuddle other men: 1) Fear of arousal by one or both; 2) Internalized belief that even momentary physical arousal must lead to an ovet sexual act. Just because you come upon a bridge, you don’t need to jump off.
So is the debate about whether a man can cuddle and not be aroused? People can really only speak from their own experiences, so instead of generalizing perhaps ask the individual if they get aroused or not. The way you are going about the question is a bit adversarial and not as you say simply expressing a viewpoint. The OP asked a question, it is being answered. Why sit here and argue with people giving feedback to the OP. Of course that is your viewpoint, but simply express it and move forward without all the tit for tat. This is the reason why you have been called a troll.
@galowglass I loved your answers.
The simple answer to the question is “yes”.
The OP must be young, as well as anyone else that says “no”.
Edit: I decided to view the profile of the OP and he’s older than I am, so I retract my last sentence.
But the answer is still yes.
Maybe it has something to do with intention (in addition to age) I never intend to be aroused, so I dont.
@pmvines
Since it seems that I made the comment about trolling, and since that is causing some conflict here, Lets go over it. Here's the post I responded to.
"Lolz! Arousal is a natural biological reaction. You all can preach all the b.s. you want about how you are "above" it all and you are "evolved" (whatever the hell that means), but we all know how things work in the real world."
So anyway. Yes, since you were trying to provoke people and laugh at them and contradict their own personal experiences. That's why I used the word "trolling". Twist it how you want. But wake up and smell the roses. Life is Sooo much more pleasant, spent cuddling platonically, than pleasuring yourself through the keyboard.
Some men are going to recede or recoil even, emotionally detach or numb when cuddling with a woman; especially men with trauma histories. Some men are medically compromised, embarrassed, or suffering from high anxiety -- all of which are going to interfere with arousal; some men are simply thinking of "the woman" in non-sexual or platonic terms, hence "platonic," embracing a notion of love that entails a consideration of the woman as a person and not a sexual object, a spiritual equal who is, like oneself, in need of nurture by way of safe, respectful, caring, thoughtfully compelled human touch. To love in the platonic sense, I think, is to nurture another, in whom one finds something of a kindred spirit both in need of and deserving of nurturing touch. We can't ask Plato. He died over 2000 years ago, but we can read his (Socrates) dialogues. I think they're great -- and I think that this cuddling scene is long overdue and I say kudos to the creator of this site -- I think Plato would too.
You people are way to sensitive and thin skinned. I am out of here [removed remaining text].
Removed offensive language. [Mark]
Goooooooood riddance.
Huh!!!! Lol
I think you can
Ah, internet. You never fail to amuse or demonstrate the people who need medication (and/or serious therapy).
Knickerbocker is exhibit A of what, why, and how Darwin was wrong.
It's fine with me. May be, I am an exception to the rule. Actually, once boundries are mutually accepted by the buddies, there shouldn't be a problem.
I suppose it would all depend on what your definition of turned on is.
@RobV what do you mean by platonic cuddling if your partner is masturbating? @Catloaf I wouldn't say I've been around women enough but I do know the difference between being normal and being intrusive of someone's space and being. I do get what you're saying, so kudos. Oh yeah we agree that blaming it on "That's how God made us" shouldn't fly for one freaking second.
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