• I could care less if the person is stronger or bigger than me as long as they are not homophobic, racist or sexist. In other words, I do not care to cuddle intolerant people.

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    I like to wrap my big strong arms around feminine wimps and warriors.

  • I don't view power in this dynamic at all curiously enough. Respect, that's important, but I view that we all deserve that equally.

  • Power isn't an important element for me when it comes to cuddling. I value someone who is kind and respectful of boundaries far more.

  • Respect and safety is the most important factor in the beginning.
    However, I do enjoy cuddling with someone who is at least as strong as I am. It takes me a while to unwind and actually "give in" to relaxing. I had an ex who would occasionally completely wrap me up and not let me go until I actually relaxed. If I tried to move or go back to work they would just squeeze tighter. I would eventually let out a big sigh and accept the affection. 100% of the time I felt rejuvenated and peaceful.

  • I really don't think I've ever cuddled that involved dominance or subjugation, and physical stature has exactly nothing to do with the threat that someone presents. In order to enjoy the time together, I have to think that neither of us is interested in either of those type of attacks. Dunno really. I've cuddled smaller people than I, but none bigger. Kinda makes me wonder why. Great question-

  • Sad someone revived this thread as i suspect the op was trolling.

  • As a male, it does not matter at all to me, I look at it and feel, it's a 50/50 deal going in. So it would not bother me if a cuddle partner was stronger or weaker then me. It sounds like a question for the lady's-?? I could see where a lady was meeting a big line backer type guy, as she may not feel safe.

  • Very interesting thought. I’ve never thought of this but I’m sure i usually wouldn’t cuddle with someone my size (height, weight) so I’d assume I’ll always be the bigger one. But i also appreciate the idea of cuddling someone much softer than me as well. But hey i wouldn’t cuddle a man. So i hope i got the power!

  • [Deleted User]cowboy22 (deleted user)

    I believe power has nothing to with it as much as kindness, respect and confidence are shown.

  • The advantage of cuddling, over most forms of human connection, is that it can be done ( literally ) with one's eyes closed. Males are statistically bigger than females, so if I am feeling a person smaller than me, it reinforces that they are my preferred gender.

    Larger people are a double-edged sword ; rather like a large truck right behind you on the freeway. If you are both driving at 50mph, it's scary ; but if you are stationary in thick fog, it's reassuring.

    I don't know if I want to particularly cuddle a female who is smaller than me ; but I would prefer to cuddle a female, who wants to be cuddled by a male, who is bigger than she is. I would be concerned if the female particularly wanted a male who is smaller, because if they want to invert that typical condition, what else might they be wanting to invert ?

  • edited February 12

    It seems like the cuddle pool is like a palette and there are various colors that can be experienced. Cuddling with someone small and frail might feel a certain way, cuddling with someone my size might have a more sibling quality, and cuddling with someone who could crack me in two but doesn't feels another way. I am often the "big one" in my world, not so much physically as emotionally, as I hold space for a lot of folks. So the feeling of being dwarfed by someone safe is especially medicinal for me right now.

  • Power definitely played a part when I was choosing my first cuddle buddy. Deciding to cuddle with someone I met online was intimidating for me, so I chose someone who looked really 'average' (this was on a different website btw). I felt safer meeting him because he was not strong looking, he was much younger than me, and looked what I considered to be 'nice' - overall, not particularly powerful. (I realize I made a lot of assumptions, but I had to start somewhere?)

    These days, that type of power doesn't matter so much to me, it's more important that people are emotionally safe. And regardless of whether someone is physically bigger or stronger than me, they can still hold me in a way that makes me feel small in a nice way and safe, and I hope I can do the same for them.

  • @geoff1000 Maybe the female would like to be the big spoon for a change if she'd like her cuddle partner to be shorter. I don't think that will happen for me though given my height 😜

  • @MissX i would actually enjoy being the “smaller” one. I understand that it may be a slight deviation from the usual but me being wrapped up makes me feel safe and helps me calm down.
    I understand that this is often different for men and women. As a man I rarely if ever feel unsafe physically. That’s probably the heart of this conversation.
    For me the idea of giving up power and accepting comfort is difficult. But so worth it. Assuming the trust is there. Please no that trust is not an afterthought.
    Much of the positions that help me relax involve being squeezed wry tightly and if my partner is not paying attention I guess it could potentially be problematic. Usually I can get a pretty good sense of their energy in a few short emails and go from there.

    Does any of this make sense??

  • I don't have power, so I doubt it would matter to me.

    @MissX I'm sure there are plenty of guys who'd like to have someone be their jetpack.

  • edited February 17

    Being stronger or being weaker than me, I could care less, but please have clear boundaries and please be able to communicate them effectively and I will strive to do the same.

  • Power comes in many different forms. The OP specifically asks about physical power—I'm used to cuddling with people who're more physically powerful than I am. I wasn't particularly strong as a baby (in fact I was rather sickly), and despite my best efforts I remain weaker than most folks on the planet.

    I'm not saying I'm Raistlin Majere or anything, but I'm certainly no TOK715 Terminator.

    This being the case, I don't find myself especially drawn to cuddle people on the basis of physical strength: I just sort of take it for granted that they're all going to be physically stronger, and leave it at that.

    Muscles aren't everything.

  • @DarrenWalker If I could, I'd give a like just for the reference to Raistlin. He was always my favorite of those characters, even as a kid.

  • @BrianL: And there's a musical, apparently. You can listen to the songs free online. It's not half bad....

  • @DarrenWalker ~ You're one of my favorites!

    I love how you talk about your family cuddles, your references that send me into Wiki deep dives, the way you bring up and explore multiple complexities within a subject, and your comments like this...

    "*So obviously the first thing I look for on here is a person with a body (the physical power of it isn't a thing I think about).

    ...That's been really easy so far. I don't think I've ever spoken to a person without a body, actually.*"

    [Snort ~ Lol] ♡ ~ And your sense of humor too!

    ~ QL

    PS ~ "...Am I the exception to the rule again?"

    Nope! ~ And that's a big part of what makes it clear you're one of the good ones "—you know—decent."!

  • Also a member of The @DarrenWalker Fan Club. <3

  • @littermate @quixotic_life maybe if we say his name three times he will return 😋

  • @littermate ~ I want in on the @DarrenWalker fan club because I think @DarrenWalker is one of the bestest ever and @DarrenWalker deserves all the collective accolades we can send his way... ♥︎

    ... @pmvines ~ that's three ... 🤞😉

  • edited July 27

    I just saw that I responded to this a year ago. So I am edited my mostly redundant response. If a mod sees it, he/she can feel free to remove comment.

  • @quixotic_life Yup on DW. Have you seen the pic that @DonLonG made of DW as a bat? It was so great I saved it. I might just post it since it's already in the CC archives somewhere... if I can locate.

  • @littermate ~ I haven't seen it but would love too! Bats hibernate right? With all that's going on in the outside world (including the temps) if I had a cool dark cave to hang in, I'm near certain that's where I'd be (no wifi in them though so...? 🦇🤷‍♀️

  • Physical power. Never thought about it.

    Don't see height. Don't see weight. Don't see width. Don't see build. Only smell body odor from poor hygiene. Only see clean hands and skin. Only see thoughtful genuine spirit comfortable in its own skin.

    So power does not matter or live anywhere in this sphere.

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