Just to go on...it's yes in who I reach out to....however if the person has an attitude that I don't like , then I'll just drop them...I also look for chemistry before the first cuddle and if it looks as though the two of us will do well once we start......
I would hope so. Why would anyone pick someone they are not attracted to?
When looking to cuddle, I definitely pick people I am attracted to. I want an experience that just feels pleasant all around even aesthetically. One guy played guitar for me, climbed a really tall park statue, and then we talked about our lives while having a nice public cuddle. The session was pleasant in every way; visual, auditory, touch. All made it more relaxing.
I do know that a good deal of men do have to turn me down for cuddles because they are attracted to me. Sometimes because they feel they lack self control, sometimes because they don't want to deal with anything "embarrassing" happening, and the most recent said cuddling someone so attractive would make his anxiety worse instead of better. I think it just depends on what people can handle individually.
People can "Stretch the truth" all they want. If you look at the women who have the most karma points they are the ones that are considered stereotypically attractive. Why should it be an issue? It's human nature. You are paying so pick who you want.
I am fine with cuddling a man who is attracted to me. And I would not want to cuddle with someone I have no attraction to.
I’m open to cuddling any one except super older man (just makes me super uncomfortable ) I personally don’t go off of attraction all the people I cuddled are different in size and heights even diff ethnic origin if some one reaches out to me and I feel comfortable and so do they
Ive been reading back through a lot of the conversations on the site lately and found this one interesting so thought I would add my 2 cents. Yes I do like to cuddle with people I find attractive but it's not the only thing I look for obviously. Things like availability , location & if I believe I would have an overall enjoyable experience are just as important. But if we're being honest after we punch in whatever search criteria we use to sort through potential cuddle partners ( especially if we're looking for pros ) our eyes and attention are naturally drawn to the profiles of those we find physically attractive 1st and from there we get to know them and see if they're a good fit for what we're looking for. It doesn't make us shallow and doesn't make you a creeper if you'd prefer to be snuggled up next to someone who you find aesthetically pleasing it's just in our DNA as humans to give preference to those people. And finding someone attractive is not the same as being attracted to someone in a romantic sense.
What kind of attraction? If someone seems interesting, that definitely works in their favor. By interesting I would mean intelligent or involved in activities I find interesting. However, the most important criteria for me in choosing a cuddle buddy is that they seem safe and respectful. I'm not picking a romantic partner, I'm choosing someone who is a good cuddle buddy. What they look like doesn't matter. They don't have to be charming or have great social skills. They just need to respect my boundaries.
@Babichev yes respect & boundaries of course important. But the same way you can identify a friend is an attractive person or someone on tv or even a co-worker. You can recognize they're a good looking person but you're not looking to date them.
As referred to before, if the old school dynamic of attractive women having a higher value than their equivalent male counterparts wasn't present, I'd be inclined to buy it all (oh me, lol), but if I'm going to pay to have a woman touch me and it's not sexual then I'd just rather buy a good deep tissue massage followed by a cooldown. Probably cheaper and far less creepy and weird.
If it's a bond we're talking about, then bond plus mutual attraction seems to be risky territory unless all parties are very mature.
I'm still completely stumped by this experience so far. Feels just like online dating, but worse since most of the females are actively seeking cash. Maybe it's worse on account of socal culture, but so far it seems fairly shady to me.
Nope, I'm here just to cuddle. I want to make the other person feel better. We are all here for different reasons, and I feel like judging a person's outward appearance kind of defeats the purpose of cuddling then. A person could be going through a very bad time, and all they want is to be held. I don't feel the need to be attracted to somebody, in order to cuddle them for a few hours just to make their day a little bit better. That's just me though, happy cuddling.
Attraction occurs on many different levels. Social, intellectual, spiritual, physical, emotional etc. We all subconsciously choose people based on what we're attracted to or wherever we are in life. I'm drawn to people who value similar things and I can share a heartfelt thoughtful conversation with. So a picture is meaningless to me.
@lior I've written some about this topic in other forum threads. I know what you mean. It's tricky to talk about safety and men without sounding like you're bashing them and the poor sweet ones (and there are plenty) with sensitivity, respect and boundaries have to pay for the ones (and there are plenty) who push it, take advantage, harm. So right on to you for choosing who you cuddle with and keeping yourself safe. The sad thing is, most of us have experienced numerous times harmful stuff in this area at the hands of men and it understandably makes us wary.
In theory if people are going to choose a cuddle buddy, it shouldn't matter how attractive they are to their partner if cuddling is the only thing they're going to be doing. In theory. I think pro-cuddlers are more prone to not be concerned about this, but I think more enthusiasts care about this than not. I could be wrong, but I'm going off of personal experiences. I have had a couple of enthusiasts tell me they "don't really cuddle black guys".
I usually pick my partners based on four things:
1.) Do we get along in a non-cuddling context? 2.) Will you be able to meld well into my group of friends? (My roommates are two of my best friends. Potential cuddle buddies are bound to meet them. If we can get along, even it's in the context of a tetriary circle of friendship, then that's a plus) 3.) How are you olfactorily (I have sensitive sinuses/sensitive sense of smell)? 4.) Do I want to touch you? (I have some friends who have wonderful hair that I absolutely would love to play with.)
@DarrenWalker brings up some excellent points in the different types of attraction. For the best kind of cuddling session, I think some level of attraction should exist, based on everything he mentioned in his comment. So, yes. I do pick my partners based on whether or not I'm attracted to them--but not "romantic" or "sexual" attraction. If there's a level of intellectual and tactile attraction then we can make it work.
Your kidding? Snuggly, sweethearted black guys? She doesn't know what she's missing. Have her send them all to me.
No I don’t! When I first started I thought looks should matter but not now. If u accept my boundaries and any special request like please bath and wear deodorant before we meet I don’t care what u look like.
It is really all about feeling😉 How that person feels when I touch them and vice versus.
Attraction operates on different levels. On some level we attract and/or are attracted to people who share similar mindsets, values and life interests. So in view of the above I would say I choose to cuddle with folks who share something in common with me in one way or another, one thing or another. That might be seen as attraction on one level.
But no I don't choose anyone based on how that person looks physically. Personally, I don't care.
I choose based on how that person makes me feel. How that person talks and acts towards me.
I joined because I am lonely and having had two wives die in the past few years has been hard for me and everyone needs a good hug. I also like to give hugs. When I was answering the questions about who I would cuddle with I thought about type and then said why be picky. My outlook on life is you treat everyone the same which it is the right thing to do. If I like someone it is easier to be open with them and if I don't why ruin the situation. Sometimes closeness is what is desired and should be the only reason for the cuddling in the first place. I don't think this is a dating site and so the profiles should reflect what you feel and what you want out of the cuddling. I have just joined so I have yet to meet anyone or make their acquaintance but I would be open to just about anyone. I know how the human touch can feel and how healing it is. Why ruin a possible good thing with sex. Cuddling is not sexual but can lead to foreplay which is. One has to follow the rules set forth in the group to keep an organization like this in operation.
In "Spiderman Far From Home", Peter Parker tells a girl she is attractive, and she replies : "Therefore I have value ?" Historically, the first we knew of anyone, was what they looked like, so our brains are wired to react to that. Bat's brains are probably wired to respond to what other bats sound like. There is also a status effect, such as a rich man wanting a" trophy wife" ; but we probably have enough evidence to know now that such an arrangement rarely leads to happiness. A work colleague owned a Porsche 911, but gave it up because the finance was so expensive that he couldn't afford any of the rest of the lifestyle.