@notcuddledyet Clearly an area of contention and confusion between women and men. In my mind that's what talking is for... to find out what's what beforehand. It's hard to exchange in here without getting into ancient exasperation on all sides. One thing is clear to me -- no matter the pics, the words, the vibes - this isn't a site with which to be trying to get one's sexual needs met.
@littermate i agree
@notcuddledyet
What @Parad0x said. IMO cuddling sessions should be entered into with the intent to abide by the CC rules and they should be followed during the cuddle session. However, if you cuddle with someone who you have a connection with and would like to discuss further time together, then why should you not be allowed to pursue it as long as it was mutually consensual?
@Parad0x you are loved by us women! MENtality like this is key!
@melancholy
" I think you're missing a key point though. As long as your intentions for being here are platonic cuddling you're fine. But once you meet someone, if you want to get married and have kids together...that's your right. If you meet the woman or man of your dreams through this site that's perfectly fine, as long as that wasn't your reason for messaging someone in the first place."
I don't think I am missing that point. Just that my message is addressing people who don't fit that description of yours, and like I said they are free to mutually do virtually however they please. However, the issue isn't people falling in love, or what have you. It's men (in some cases women) (more or less) off the get go asking for sex: because that's their intention. Or being suggestive about it. Like @Parad0x said, the key is if there happens to be genuine feelings of this, or that: to discuss it outside the cuddle, in a non pressured way.
@2dogmom I don't think anyone is arguing with that! "Oh sorry, you are clearly the love of my life but can't explore that because I met you on cuddlecomfort.com."
Yes. But there is a difference between developing romantic feelings for someone you have been cuddling with for a few sessions and messaging a pro after one session to ask for a sexual relationship. If anyone did the latter, I would report them. It makes me feel like they only use the sight to find someone to have sex with them.
@taulkat yes yes yes. My sense is there are those that get it and those that just, well, won't. The ones that won't probably aren't reading these forums for education either is my guess.
@tauIkat I totally agree with you! It is easy to form romantic or emotional feelings with someone you're spending time getting close to and enjoying the comforts of being in their arms. But someone who wants a sexual relationship when they barely know you most likely then not, wanted sex initially but thought keeping it platonic initially would keep you from reporting them and make you less prone to being uncomfortable with more. I've spoken to someone and they assumed that cuddling = I'm slanging my lotus everywhere when that's not the case at all and it's extremely offensive and degrading.
@Parad0x That was really well said. I've put a link to your post in the Boundaries part of Cuddling discussions and resources.
@SoftPetals ”I’ve spoken to someone and they assumed that cuddling = I'm slanging my lotus everywhere when that's not the case at all and it's extremely offensive and degrading.”
💯 on point. (Slanging my lotus... 🤣🤣)
@littermate my ? was more rhetorical... 😉😊
Dang @Parad0x stealing my vibe lol!
My friend sent me three brand new penis pics last night from guys on this site (don't ask me why lol but she did) I say brand new cus it happens fairly often . They are now banned . Please report to admin if this kind of thing happens to you . Creeps like this drive a lot of women away who could be seeing guys like me who really are just looking to cuddle
@2dogmom ok duh. I also appreciated "slanging my lotus."
@pmvines How do you know they weren’t face pics because some guys can be real...well you know.
That would be assuming they have very small faces ....
@littermate - this site has plenty of female profiles with questionable photos. I'm talking about photos with breasts spilling out of tops, skin-tight dresses, and posing as if to kiss the viewer. It's not always men who are sexualizing women, women are doing it themselves.
@UKGuy Counting today, how long have you been here? LOL
@pmvines If they truly are brand new, would that be trafficking in child porn? Huge No No. It begs the questions, does she feel you wont believe her or she believes you're interested, perhaps collecting some.
I have a personal rule (thanks Dad), that unless the recipient has already seen it, don't send it. If she has, what's the point. Just saying.
Mod, if humor is not allowed, just delete ALL the offending posts
@UKGuy no doubt. Whatever the pics, the rules remain the same.
@littermate i introduced this conversation before on another thread but it was deleted because i guess it’s not appropriate, so I’ll word it differently. But i believe some open discussion could be had so people understand how their profile pictures are being received, I’m not sure some women understand how some people receive the pictures they are posting. I agree the pictures don’t matter and behavior should be appropriate but sometimes in pictures people don’t realize how they are presenting.
Since the site is only for platonic cuddling, as pros, we are required to uphold that. I believe if a pro were to consent to any non-platonic services, whether for payment or not, it would be grounds for them to be banned from the site.
I’m not sure about non-pros but I would think it would apply the same long as communication is had on the site.?
@StellaLiz Also consider you may encounter a cop conducting a sting operation
@BashfulLoner agreed. @StellaLiz my understanding is the rules apply to everyone - no using the cuddle scenario for sex in any way. @Parad0x said it perfectly above and that is my understanding as well.
@notcuddledyet - I want to point out that if the woman wore provocative clothing on the photo, why bother looking at her so intently? and if you _ stood within three feet of her, why not turn around and walk away_? If the woman's sensuality is too much for you to handle, then cease staring so intently and avert your eyes from the few who do so.
I see and hear this time and again, 'the woman asked for it', that's pure bollocks blaming the woman when sexual assault occurs for that reason, or the whiff of a possibility of it happening just because she's dressed a certain way. I think you have forgotten that toxic socialization affects everyone on this planet since childhood, look around.
You are still responsible for controlling yourself and setting boundaries, too. If you feel like you can't control yourself, that's your issue to contend with. Men use their sensuality, too, but no one talks about that, or a good deal of them use their entitlement attitude to push others' boundaries by virtue of their gender. What's next, reporting women who wear v-neck shirts in their photos on this site?
@rheaah: I want to point out that even if someone is naked in their profile pic, you don't have to look.
I'd say that even if someone walks down the street totally unclothed, they shouldn't be raped. They're not "asking for it," they're just showing a lot of skin (possibly because they've just been robbed, or zapped here from the future, or brought back from the dead by an unholy ritual—who knows).
Even so, everyone on this site has a responsibility not just to refrain from contacting somebody they find sexy and trying to get sex, but also to not put up pictures they think others will find sexy.
Practically speaking, this means all those shirtless guys flexing their abs probably need to be reported. Even though the male chest (for some stupid reason) isn't openly acknowledged as being sexy; these guys know what they're doing. They need to stop. Can I prove that they know what they're doing? No... but come on. What are the odds they're genuinely clueless?
And so sometimes people get reported for sexy photos when they actually weren't trying to be sexy.
It happens. It helps. It keeps things reeeaaally unsexy.
Taking a poll on intent of ones dress would be a waste of time. That's why I said just ignore those who do that male or female. Overall one has to set the boundaries. from go on both sides and for ppl who are looking for customer needs to be mindful of their external representation. There are other sites that allow such things.
Hmm.. as I sit here thinking I should review my photos and probably delete some if they look even a little “provocative” or what could be misconstrued as provocative. Y’all, some of this is perception. Yes I’ve seen some ladies profiles that seem like they could be offering more than cuddles, but a full body pic or something that shows even a little cleavage doesn’t mean they are selling more than cuddles. Or maybe I’m a little naive? 🤷♀️ I give everyone the benefit of a doubt either way- until they say something inappropriate or disrespectful. I feel like I should delete most of my pics now 🙄😤😩