Please don't shame people for cuddling with professionals

"For those who don't have the privilege of cuddling with other enthusiasts, it's just... unfortunate."

Say that to a past female client of mine who was assaulted by an "enthusiast". It just makes me angry. I think it's awesome for people to find enthusiasts if that's what THEY ARE LOOKING FOR. But a lot of people aren't. There are people who have serious past trauma issues who need someone serious about boundaries and consent, someone they can trust. There are people who really aren't looking for a relationship and want a no strings attached, no risk of developing into a romantic relationship situation, no needs to manage with the other person after the session is over, etc "relationship." People who are married and want no risk of anything more happening in the "heat of the moment." People who don't have a lot of time and just want to pick a professional, schedule a session, and go. There are a TON of reasons for someone to only seek a real, legitimate, experienced professional. There are a lot of people who only seek an enthusiast. There is nothing wrong with either choice. No shame. Be kind and compassionate towards people who may make a different choice than you. They are both legitimate choices.

Comments

  • Here here @ubergigglefritz Also some people live in an area where enthusiasts are few & far between or don't have the time or energy to message back & forth for weeks or months on in with a fellow enthusiast who's continually wavering about whether they're ready to meet or not.

  • @hugonehugall All different people with all different needs. Personally, I think people are lucky if they have any choice in the matter right now. Either they're lucky to find an enthusiast or are lucky to have a good professional nearby. A lot of people have no good options in either bucket. =( Hopefully one day it will be like massage. People can ask their friends for a cuddle if that will suit their needs or they can search the web for a professional near them and have lots of people to choose from.

  • Now that I'm traveling, I actually have a client who needs a professional more frequently than I am in his area nowadays. I told him I would try to help him find someone, but it feels impossible. His needs require a PROFESSIONAL, not an enthusiast. For him, it's therapeutic and not just meeting a casual social need. Whatever the reason for wanting a professional is, there should never be any shame. I don't shame people for cuddling with amateurs X-D LOL. I get that free is better if that experience fills your needs. I like free too O:-) But if I had a professional I LOVED, I would for sure pay for them when I was nearby and could afford it. I myself had my own experience of flakey professionals =P

  • @ubergigglefritz Hmm--- maybe it should have been better worded. I see no shame in cuddling with pros for those who can and/or feel the need to do so. You and other pro cuddlers are certainly filling a need which would otherwise go unmet for many people.

    My displeasure in that quote is that I've seen complaint after complaint attacking professional cuddling for various different reasons that [I believe] should have no bearing, such as an individual's inability to meet with a good-intentioned enthusiast or those who were formerly enthusiasts going pro. As @respectful has outlined here, no other member here owes you anything, at least as far as cuddling is concerned. Some pros here are extraordinary in their craft, while some are best avoided. It's also been said time and again that most pros who come thinking it's easy money don't last very long. I've seen multiple pros come and go on that alone.

  • edited January 18

    @SoulcuddlerZ ... did I read you right ?
    You said that .... “ some are best avoided “
    You are admitting that there are professionals in the site , you are aware that they should be avoided , yet , I think it’s implied that the Website is permitting them to continue cuddling activities, for compensation.

  • edited January 18

    @cuddlerforu24 yes, I did say that. Perhaps I should rephrase that to say that some may be best avoided.

    The thing is, some who come as pro cuddlers come for reasons that would make them unsuitable, one such reason being they think it's easy money. Many prominent pros here will tell you that such is not the case. And then, I once heard one story where the pro cuddler was on her phone the entire time she and her client were spooning. If that's true, that's not someone with whom I would want to cuddle.

    That being said, I can also say so far that my meetings with pros have been positive.

  • edited January 18

    @ubergigglefritz +1

    Agree! No shame just understanding.
    Might also add some pro cuddler have good quality either willing develop skills through pratice or naturally gifted aka calming effect or Naturally patients and/or empathetic.

    @SoulcuddlerZ +1

    What you said is so valid!

    =====

    Note to Self: Comment more on the forums this day/month.

  • edited January 19

    @SoulcuddlerZ ... you are one of three names out there publicaly , as “ insiders?” Of the website . Yes , I understand that you are forum moderator , and probably don’t have a say in granting pro status to applicants, but you are more intimate with the website than a typical member . Therefore , when I hear an insider.. a “ voice “ of the website .. say that some of the pro cuddler s “ may be best avoided”, it sounds like Johnson&Johnson saying some of their aspirin “ may be best avoided”, and they are leaving the product on pharmacy shelves for consumers to purchase.

    For a cuddling website , in competition with a couple others, whilst striving to be “Top Tier”, “ Flagship”, or even “ Holy Grail”, I think any voices , coming from their intimates , would accentuate plus’es rather than reveal negatives .

    Glad to here your cuddles are positive !

  • @SoulcuddlerZ Thanks for the clarification. 😊 Also agree that there are professionals who may best be avoided. It's unfortunate that there isn't an easier way to keep those numbers lower than the other professionals however. They do represent us poorly to those new to the community who may not have been lucky enough to enjoy a real professional. 😞

  • it sounds like Johnson&Johnson saying some of their aspirin “ may be best avoided”

    Or from a different perspective:
    I wouldn't consider pro's to be the products of Cuddle Comfort, but rather CC tries to regulate an industry like the way the FDA regulates aspirin. CC is more like the governing authority that investigates complaints and tries to assure that everything is safe for the public, but still relies on your judgment to keep yourself safe. McDonald's is "safe" but if you can afford better quality or eat out for a majority of your meals, it should be avoided.

    I think all areas of life have the same problem. Some cops should be avoided, some priests should as well. Can't just fire them because you don't like interacting with them. Can't bring down the ban hammer until they break a rule. You can still follow the rules and have a bad attitude or negative energy, it may just be their personality. Some people may like those types, but for the majority, it may be best avoided.

  • edited January 20

    @DonLonG
    Choice of words .. I think it would be better if the website said “ we make every effort to screen applicants , however a small few.......”” , instead of “ some may be best avoided “ in addition to the disclaimer posted somewhere .

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