@pmvines agreed, it’s been mentioned before but discussing behavior is what we should do, not people. This ain’t a rap battle.
@quietman775 guess that explains why I’m not a real party goer. I regret you saw my comments as a rallying cry. My intent was more encouragement for people to speak up.
@pmvines which is why I did not mention names and further refrained when asked. I have said multiple times my intent was to discuss the behavior regardless of who was the perpetrator.
Condos were used as an analogy earlier. Coincidentally, I am the Board President and CEO of the Association where I live. It's a thankless job.
Garbage goes out Thursday after 6pm please bag it properly. Thank you
If you act as a troll, you get a permanent ban or a 30 day time out. It's a call the Mods and/or owner made.
Dumb enough to repeat the trolling, you won't be missed when you're shown the door.
Novel length posts not withstanding, this stuff is simple. If you're impatient during the next phase, learn to scroll past the snark.
@SoulcuddlerZ consider closing this thread. Thanks.
@BashfulLoner: You read my long posts? And feel like you learn stuff from them? Aw, dang. That makes me really happy. Thanks.
@2dogmom: Hard not to see "I am asking those of you who have enjoyed the atmosphere [since 'a few of the more insidiously "vocal" contributors were given a "time out"'] ... to stand on the side of not allowing a few people to cast a pall over the forum community" as not a rallying cry. And is "I am not a fan of the people who were given a time out. I basically equate them to bullies" talking about acts rather than actors?
"Some people, I won't say who..." is a pretty standard form of attack.
The condo metaphor is a pretty interesting one, though. I hadn't thought of the forum that way before. Glad I don't live in a condo.
@quietman775 absolutely love this descriptor... WE are all on Mark's patio and we should let the mods make the call.
I absolutely believe the community of Cuddle Comfort should have a feeling of safety in speaking our truth. ON ALL FRONTS. If I want to negate one person's perspective because it is dark or spicy I should be censored myself. I know that its not always easy to hear something new or different and then to not get edgy about it.... I do believe that the pendulum swung a little too far, too quickly.
I love that there have been numerous people who are more willing to post that were possibly fearful of too much "word play" and attack but I would never want these men to feel unwelcome either. They were trying to show off who they were and give their perspectives. Like @DarrenWalker said
I want the nastier people to feel comfortable expressing their darkness on the forum, so folks who're thinking about cuddling with them will know what they're getting into. I want the nicer people to feel comfortable expressing their lightness on the forum, too—so people who're thinking about cuddling with them will also know what they're getting into. Returning to the kitchen analogy: if you don't like spice that's fine, but don't try to throw out all the habanero!
Everyone should feel safe in the forums but we also should know that we are jumping into the middle of a mosh pit and we might accidentally catch an elbow here or there. Like @quietman775 mentioned... We should take it up in a PM with an individual instead of trying to hash it out on the forums. YES @littermate Let's see if we can be funny AND kind, together, and help each other know when we're crossing a line without attacking back.
I'll say this... I am extremely thankful that there are a vast amount of posts that we can be a part of. Like @pmvines We aren't all the same nor should we be and we can't please everyone. Unless you are a blatant troll for the sake of trolling , I welcome you and appreciate your presence. There is something for everyone if we search for it. @2dogmom thank you for trying to help promote a peaceful and loving environment.... somewhere in all of this I think we will find balance.
Me too @BashfulLoner. Me too @pmvines.
A famous publicist once recommended "Accuse others of that which you are guilty". An argument loses weight, when it becomes "So are you".
"For evil to triumph, it is necessary only for good men to do nothing." However, we may often abstain from doing what we know to be right, because of the cost to ourselves.
Is it bullying, to bully a bully ? My feeling is that any action is justified, if the alternatives are worse ; although "worse" often depends on how you measure it, and what weighting you put on the various factors.
I guess it is back to the idea of judicial punishment, that it should be proportionate ; and as others have said on this thread, focus on the behaviour not the person.
I’m not frustrated or angry but I’m not going to discuss anymore. I will agree to disagree with those with a different view. Right or wrong in the eyes of others, I always feel compelled to take up for the underdog (personal pun intended) and promote general kindness.
@Groucho I agree that this thread should be closed by @SoulcuddlerZ since the discussion seems to have hit a repetitive stalemate.
Why the insistence on forcible closing? Why not let the thread die a natural death? If the thread's really gotten so repetitive, why, there are certainly lots of other more interesting threads. No?
@DarrenWalker as we say in the South, “bless your heart.” Go find that other thread then and have fun there.
I have. There are several other threads, actually. Maybe if you'd stop moving this one to the top of the forum, @2dogmom....
You're making it interesting.
@DarrenWalker as are you my dear. Not my intent. Honestly I didn’t even realize that was a thing until you mentioned it.
Closed. 26 JAN 2020 09:29 EST